


Denial

by LlamaCow



Category: GOT7
Genre: Get Together, JB's an idiot, Jinyoung is also an idiot, M/M, Will add tags as I go, all the drama, smut comes later, smut starts in chapter 5, supportive friend Jackson, the other Youngjae
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2018-10-01 22:26:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 86,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10202111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LlamaCow/pseuds/LlamaCow
Summary: Jaebum is very much in love with Youngjae, but he's in denial. Jinyoung has to listen to him freak out about it. In the meantime something starts happening with Mark and Jinyoung. Or is it?





	1. Radio talk

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first GOT7 fic. I wrote this chapter a bit too fast, but I've been putting it off so I just wanted to post something to get this thing started~ Might change the title later, I hate coming up with titles.
> 
> Also, this was inspired by that one time Youngjae said JB doesn't wear much in bed...

“I can't believe he said I don't wear anything in bed...the fans know we share a mattress!” Jaebum exclaimed as he was pacing in the small space in Jinyoung's room.

 

“Tell me again why you're naked in bed with Youngjae?” Jinyoung asked him as he lowered the book he had been trying to read before his best friend decided to have a mental breakdown in his room.

 

“I'm not completely naked and it's just warm in there, okay!”

 

“If it's so warm why do you hold on to him?”

 

“I do it while I'm sleeping, I can't control that! He's like a giant teddy bear.” He couldn't help himself from smiling at the thought of cuddling Youngjae at night, momentarily forgetting he was freaking out.

 

“Okay.” Jinyoung put down his book beside him and looked up at his troubled friend.

 

“So it has nothing to do with the fact that you're in love with him?”

 

Jaebum looked at Jinyoung as if he was crazy. “Of course not! I mean, of course I like him. We all like him! He has a personality and laugh as bright as the sun and the voice of an angel, I wouldn't want to share my room with anyone else and my day is better when he's there. But I'm not _in love_ with Youngjae.”

 

Jinyoung stared at him with a vacant expression on his face and sighed. “Well, as long as you're not in love with him.”

 

Jaebum, choosing to ignore Jinyoung's obvious sarcasm, sat down in front of him. “I'm not and I don't want people to get the wrong impression about our relationship.”

 

Jinyoung decided it would be useless to try and convince Jaebum just how in love he was with his roommate. “Maybe you should tell him that you don't want him talking about your completely platonic sleeping habits on the radio.”

 

Jaebum nodded. He could always count on Jinyoung to make him feel better in situations like this.

 

* * *

 

When he went to their room he found Youngjae on their bed staring at his phone. He cleared his throat to get Youngjae's attention, “Youngjae, can I talk to you for a bit?”

 

Youngjae looked up and smiled at his roommate, “Of course, what's up?”

 

Jaebum cleared his throat again. Why was he so nervous? While avoiding Youngjae's eyes he said, “Youngjae, you can't just say on the radio that I'm naked when we sleep together.”

 

Youngjae gave him a slightly confused look, “But you often are mostly naked?”

Jaebum felt his face go warm and he found it harder and harder to convince himself it wasn't just a slightly bit odd they slept as intimate as they did, “I-I know, but you can't just say that on the radio, people will think...things”

 

“What things?”

 

Jaebum's face turned even redder, “You know what, nothing...nevermind.”

 

Youngjae shrugged his shoulders, “I don't get what the problem is. They asked a question and I answered. I know you're not trying to seduce me or anything” he let out his characteristic loud laugh and returned his attention to his phone.

 

“Right...” Jaebum said softly as he laughed awkwardly. “ _Not successfully anyway”_ he caught himself thinking.

 

* * *

That night they were both lying on the mattress. It wasn't time to sleep yet, but they often just hung out like this. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they did things on their phones or laptops. Jaebum was checking some music videos on Youtube when he felt Youngjae shift. He looked and saw Youngjae had turned on his side, facing him, and was looking straight at him.

 

“Hyung?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Do you mind if I kiss you?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get your hopes up too much, JB's kind of an idiot in this one, lol! I know it's short, but let me know what you think so far~


	2. Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youngjae just asked Jaebum if he can kiss him...Jaebum's an idiot. (haha, summaries aren't my strong point...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi~ thanks to all the people who read the first chapter/left kudos/comments! I'm lazy and didn't proof read as well as I should have, but I hope you enjoy the next chapter anyway.

“Do you mind if I kiss you?” Youngjae repeated softly when JB didn't say anything and just sort of stared at him, his mouth hanging slightly open.

 

Jaebum's mind had stopped working the moment the word _kiss_ fell from Youngjae's lips and if he had been drinking anything at the time he would have choked on it. After a few seconds of mindlessly staring at the other one's face he realized he hadn't actually said or done anything and Youngjae was still looking at him, waiting for some sort of response. The only thing he managed to get out of his dry mouth was a hoarse “W-what!?”

 

“I've just been wondering what it would be like, but it's okay if you don't want to.” Youngjae said with a tone JB was unable to read.

 

“I-I don't think that's such a good idea Youngjae, okay?” Jaebum heard himself say. The whole situation felt unreal and he wasn't 100% sure it was actually happening.

 

Youngjae stared at him for a second (JB was busy trying to look casual, not realizing he forgot to blink and probably looked a bit like a crazy person), before he rolled back on his back. Jaebum couldn't tell if Youngjae was disappointed, a little relieved, or if he didn't really care that he'd just rejected him.

 

Before JB could calm himself down or think about what to do or say next Youngjae got up from the bed and walked towards the door. “I'm going to hang out with Mark for a bit. See what he and Coco are up to.”

 

When he was sure Youngjae had entered Mark's room Jaebum got up as well and went over to Jinyoung's room. He was reading on his bed when Jaebum let himself fall face down next to him, burrowing his head in Jinyoung's pillow. As Jinyoung put away his book JB let out a loud sigh, filled with confusion, frustration and regret.

 

Jinyoung let out a small sigh of his own. He didn't really have to ask what, or more accurately _who_ , this was about but he asked anyway. “What is it? Does it have to do with Youngjae?”

 

“No. Yes. Maybe.” Jaebum said with a muffled voice, still lying face down on Jinyoung's pillow.

 

“Did you do something stupid?”

 

“No. Yes. Maybe.”

 

“Tell me what happened”

 

Jaebum turned on his back and stared at the ceiling, letting out another sigh before he spoke softly.

“He asked if he could kiss me and I said no”

 

“I thought you wanted him to kiss you?”

 

Jaebum sat up and glared at his friend who immediately added sarcastically, “Oh wait sorry, I forgot. You're _not_ in love with him. So you wouldn't want him to kiss you, right?”

 

Jaebum averted his eyes and awkwardly fiddled with the sheets, “No...I do. So much.” he stayed quiet for a moment before looking back up to meet Jinyoung's soft smile. He may be sarcastic and a bit harsh a lot of the time, but Jinyoung cared a very great deal for JB and knew that admitting he was in love with Youngjae was a big deal for him.

 

“Everytime I see him I just want to hold him and kiss him and run my fingers through his hair and...”

 

“Alright, alright, I get it, you love him,” Jinyoung interrupted him, “you clearly want to brush his hair and feed him grapes and what not,” he gave his friend a questioning look, “So...why did you say no?”

 

JB let out another frustrated groan as he let himself fall back onto the bed, “I don't know! Because I'm an idiot! Now he thinks I don't like him and there is no way I can go to him and tell him that I _do_ and that I want nothing more than to kiss him.”

 

They stayed quiet for a moment. Jinyoung observing his love sick friend and said love sick friend replaying the whole _can I kiss you_ scene in his head for the millionth time.

 

“You know…I'm not even sure he wanted to kiss me because he likes me like that...I think he may have just wanted to kiss someone and I was just...there”

 

“Look, I'm sure that...” Jinyoung started before he was suddenly interrupted by JB's very sudden and very loud yell. “W-what's wrong?” he asked startled.

“He went to Mark's room to hang out...” he said quietly.

 

“So?” Jinyoung asked, not sure why this was reason for Jaebum to destroy his eardrums.

 

Jaebum, sitting up again, this time staring at the door as if he was trying to peer right through it, “So...what if he went over there to make out with Mark?”

 

Jinyoung felt his own face drop at the thought of Youngjae and Mark making out and he swiftly took out his phone.  
  


“What are you doing?”

 

“I'm asking Mark if he wants to go out and get ice cream with me. That way you'll know for sure that they're not making out, which I'm sure they weren't doing in the first place, and you'll have a chance to talk to him.”

 

“But I...”

 

“Talk to him! Or kiss him. Either way you have to do something.”

 

“It'll be so awkward...” Jaebum said as he started fiddling with the sheet again.

 

“You sleep in the same bed almost every night with the guy you're in love with. What if you wake up one morning with your hard-on rubbing on his back. _That_ will be awkward. Compared to that, telling him that you're in love with him shouldn't be so difficult”

 

“I never said I was _in love_ with him.”

 

Jinyoung closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Why was he surrounded by idiots.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung can never read in peace, poor guy.


	3. The other Youngjae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum doesn't quite take Jinyoung's advice to kiss or talk to Youngjae. Well, he talks to a Youngjae. Just not the one he wants to kiss.

JB followed Jinyoung out into the living room. He set himself down on the couch as Jinyoung walked over to Mark and Jackson's room and knocked on the door. “Mark, are you coming?”

 

Mark opened the door and beamed at Jinyoung, “Let's go! I asked Youngjae if he wanted to come too, but he said he's gonna watch a movie in his room, but let's take Coco with us for a walk.” Jinyoung smiled back at Mark and nodded. The two of them left, leaving Jaebum and Youngjae alone at the apartment. Youngjae walked past the couch and headed towards their room. At the door he turned around and saw Jaebum's eyes quickly looking away.

 

“Hyung? Do you want to watch a movie with me? There's a movie I really want to watch and I think movies are more fun to watch together. Mark said he already saw it...”

 

JB cleared his throat and rubbed his hands on his jeans before he stood up and tried to be as casual as possible when he walked towards him, “Yeah, sure. Movie sounds good. I like movies. We can just watch it in bed. Or something” _Smooth_.

 

They lay in bed watching the movie Youngjae wanted to watch and Jaebum had no idea what the movie was about. Mainly because he wasn't paying attention. _Talk to him! Or kiss him._ Jinyoung's voice kept telling him in his head. Every few seconds he looked sideways to get an idea of what was going on in Youngjae's head. He was looking at the movie, his hands loosely on his stomach, he was close enough that they might touch if one of them moved just a little, but not so close that they were constantly making body contact. _Talk to him! Or kiss him._ JB turned his gaze towards the screen again, not actually registering what was happening in the movie, some woman seemed to be kicking someone's ass. _Talk to him! Or kiss him._ After another side-way glance at the young man beside him he decided to listen to Jinyoung's voice in his head. There was no way he could just kiss him so he should talk to him...he should say something chic and sexy...something flirty...something that would lead to Youngjae's soft perfect lips on his own...

 

“So, did you kiss Mark?” _Good job Jaebum, idiot_. He thought to himself, hoping Youngjae didn't think he sounded too much like a jealous school girl.

 

Youngjae laughed and turned his head to look at JB, “What? No, why would I?”

 

“Well...because you said you wanted to kiss someone and I said no and then you went to Mark...”

 

“I didn't go to Mark to kiss him, hyung. I didn't just want to kiss _someone_. I wanted to kiss _you_.” Youngjae smiled a little at Jaebum, who once again had to deal with a mental breakdown the moment he heard _kiss you_ falling from those beautiful lips.

 

Youngjae looked away, eyes in an unfocussed gaze at the movie, “I'm sorry if I made things weird. It's just that lately I got the feeling that you might like me too.”

 

 _Too? He did just say 'too' right?_ While this would have been a good moment to actually ask that question, Jaebum stayed silent, his voice stuck in his throat. He felt his heart pounding in his chest and his hands were getting sweaty.

 

“Anyway, forget it hyung. Let's just finish the movie.” he turned his head to meet eyes with Jaebum again and added, “and please don't feel like you can't hold me in your sleep anymore, okay?”

 

Jaebum _had_ to talk to someone about this new turn of events. He wasn't sure why but he felt Jinyoung would know what to do. “ _Talk to him! Or kiss him.”_ echoed in Jaebum's mind, but he felt he definitely needed a second opinion on the whole ' _too_ '. What if Youngjae hadn't even meant to say that? He wasn't going to make an ass out of himself. “I...I have to go borrow a book from Jinyoung! I'll be right back!”

 

Mission 'don't make an ass out of yourself': failed. As he stood up and walked through the door he thought about banging his head into the wall. Why didn't he say something like _I'm going to the bathroom_ or _I'm going to get something to drink, would you like something?_ He wanted to smack his head into a wall even more when he realized Jinyoung was still out with Mark. He got his phone out and dialed Jinyoung's number. He immediately heard sound coming from Jinyoung's room. Crap. Okay, so he couldn't talk to Jinyoung right now. Who else could he call. Mark probably had his phone with him, but he didn't want anymore members knowing about this. Who else? He scrolled through the contacts on his phone and stopped at Youngjae. Not his Youngjae (well not _his_ , not yet anyway), not Choi Youngjae. No, he was staring at B.A.P.'s Yoo Youngjae who was his best friend outside of GOT7. While he didn't want to really involve more people in this, he'd already decided he _needed_ to talk to someone. He hesitantly pressed the call button and waited for a voice on the other side.

 

“Well this is unusual! What's up Jaebummie~”

 

Jaebum sighed, maybe this was a mistake, “Are you drunk or something?” he asked.

 

“I could ask the same of you, Jaebum. Why are you calling me?” Youngjae asked cheerfully.

 

“I don't have to be drunk to call my friend, do I?” But Youngjae knew JB. They usually communicated through texts, not phone calls, and he knew JB well enough to know he wouldn't just randomly call to chat. “Youngjae...can I ask you something?” Jaebum continued when he didn't get a response from his friend. “Do people ask other people to kiss them if they don't like them? And...if they get rejected say it's not a big deal and to just forget about it? How do you tell them that you _do_ want to kiss them?”

 

“Jaebum, my friend. I have no idea what you're talking about. Who wants to kiss or not kiss who and why do I care? Or wait, oooh did _you_ try to kiss someone? Who was it? Someone I know? No wait, you were talking about rejection, you wouldn't call me to tell me you got rejected. So, who did you deny those beautiful lips of yours?”

 

“Youngjae...”

 

“Yes?”

 

“No...it was Youngjae”

 

“Oh come on Jaebum, that was years ago and I was only teasing you anyway!”

 

“Not you idiot!” Jaebum sighed, this wasn't exactly helping him.

 

“Well this is confusing. Oh wait...are you talking about _Youngjae_. As in, your member Youngjae, the one you share a room, I mean bed, with Youngjae?”

 

Jaebum didn't say anything, which told Youngjae everything, “Well isn't this an interesting turn of events!” Youngjae said, amusement in his voice. “So, now, what I want to know,” Youngjae continued, “Did you reject him because you didn't want to kiss him or because you do and that scares you?”

 

“I'm not scared of kissing!”

 

Youngjae sighed, “That's not what I meant and you know it. Do you want to kiss him or not?”

 

“...”

 

“Okay look man, this might not be a conversation to have over the phone. Do you want to meet up?”

 

“No I cant, I told him I was just borrowing a book from Jinyoung. It'll be weird if I just leave...I just...I'm not sure what to do next.”

 

“For one thing, stop telling him that you're out borrowing books. It's not a realistic excuse.” Jaebum wanted to defend himself but decided not to seeing it really had been a stupid excuse.

 

“For another thing, make up your mind if you want to kiss him or not first!”

 

“I want to kiss him...and I think I like him” Jaebum said softly, barely loud enough for the person on the other side of the phone to hear him.

 

“Answer me this, JB. How do you feel if you picture him with someone else? Someone else's lips on his lips, hands going under his shirt, maybe caressing his nipple, their tongues...”

 

“Stop stop STOP! I definitely don't want to think about that! It makes me want to punch this other person in the face...touching my Youngjae” he immediately stopped talking and felt his face grow warm as soon as he caught himself calling Youngjae his.

 

Jaebum heard a loud chuckle coming from his phone, “I hate to break it to you, but I think wanting to punch anyone who touches him and calling him yours means that you like him.”

 

Jaebum silently admitted to himself that he did, but there was something else, “...I'm not sure if _he_ likes me like that or if he just wants to make out or something”

 

“Have you asked him that?”

 

Again someone advising him to talk to Youngjae about his, maybe he should listen.

 

JB's silence once again told Youngjae all he needed to know. “You want my advice? Kiss him. You could talk to him first, but in my experience a kiss sometimes says more than words. Besides, either he likes you like you like him and that's great or he just wants to make out but then at least you will've made out with him!”

 

“Yeah I suppose...” Jaebum mulled over his friend's advice for a moment, “Okay. Yes. I'm going to do it!”

 

“Start with a kiss first.” Youngjae joked.

 

“Shut up.”

 

“And try not to think about me when you have your tongue in his mouth!”

 

“Shut up!”

 

He hung up the phone and took a deep breath. He could do this

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it would be fun to add a bit of B.A.P.'s Youngjae. JB is still an idiot. Just kiss him already! (I know I wrote it...but...come on JB!).


	4. Always ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum and Youngjae are alone at the dorm and Jaebum is finally going to make his move!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a bit long! Work and studies and life in general is keeping me from fic writing T_T  
> Anyway, it's a bit short, but enjoy this chapter~

Jaebum took one last deep breath before walking back through the door of their shared room. Youngjae was right where he left him. Slouched on their mattress, now staring at his phone. He looked up at, a very nervous, Jaebum. He smiled at him with one eyebrow raised, “no book, hyung?”

 

Crap. Jaebum momentarily froze thinking about how to spin this so he didn't come across as an idiot. _Okay, let's just change the subject. I came here to kiss him and dammit I'm going to!_ “Youngjae, stop talking about books.” _Nice, Jaebum. Real smooth_. Jaebum quickly sat down on his knees next to the mattress and stared at Youngjae, probably a bit more intensively than he intended. Youngjae just looked at him, slightly confused and amused at the same time. _Okay, this is it_.

 

Pushing away his insecurities and fears he started to lean over towards Youngjae, his heart pounding in his chest. Youngjae didn't move away, he kept his eyes on Jaebum. He came closer. He was so close Youngjae could feel his breath on his face. Their eyes met for a second before Jaebum closed his and softly, very softly, pressed his lips against Youngjae's.

 

Neither one of them seemed to notice anything other than the feeling of their lips touching. They didn't notice the awkwardness of the angle, Youngjae sitting halfway up against the cushions with JB hovering over him, almost losing his balance before he placed one hand on the wall. Neither one of them noticed anything other than the way their lips started to move in almost perfect harmony, the way Youngjae opened his mouth, allowing Jaebum to enter it with his tongue, soon joined by the sweet taste of Youngjae whirling around it. Neither one of them noticed the fact that their bedroom door was left open. And neither one of them noticed the sound of the front door opening.

 

♥

 

Jinyoung had meant to stay out a little longer to give Jaebum more time to 'put the moves' on Youngjae, but he'd forgotten his phone and after they'd finished their ice cream he couldn't think of another reason to stay out when Mark said he wanted to go back.

 

Jinyoung didn't want to disturb them in case JB had stopped being an idiot and was finally getting somewhere with Youngjae. But as he saw light coming from their open bedroom door his curiosity got the better of him and he approached the room. He kept quiet, just in case they were stupid enough to do anything with the door open. He cautiously peeked through the door opening. He sighed, finding that they really were that stupid. Jaebum was leaning over Youngjae, one hand on the wall to keep his balance while Youngjae's hands had found their way into JB's hair. It was hard to see what else was going on since most of Jinyoung's view was JB's back. He was busy trying his hardest to get a better view, to see if Jaebum wasn't messing it up, when Jinyoung almost screamed in surprise when he felt Mark's arm suddenly wrap around his neck. “What are you doing, Jinyoung?” he whispered in his ear.

 

Jinyoung immediately covered Mark's mouth with his hand and pulled him backwards, but it was too late, “Are my eyes deceiving me? Or did I just see JB on top of Youngjae?” Mark looked excitedly happy, not the reaction Jinyoung had expected, and he tried to get another look. Jinyoung pulled him back again by his arm, “shhh!” Mark covered his own mouth this time and tried to suppress a giggle. He stretched his neck towards the door again, but didn't get closer because Jinyoung would probably stop him again anyway, “I was starting to think Jaebum was never going to confess to Youngjae...” he said with a low voice, a wide grin on his face.

 

“Well...I'm not sure he actually confessed, but I guess they at least...” Jinyoung started before he snapped his head to look at Mark with wide eyes, “wait, what!? You _know_? Did...did Jaebum talk to you too?” He felt a little hurt he apparently hadn't been the only member Jaebum had confided in, but Mark shook his head, “No he didn't, but it was just kind of obvious don't you think? The way he looks at him, especially how he looks at him when he thinks no-one is looking, it just screamed 'in love'.” Mark's smile faltered as he turned his head to look at Jinyoung, “are you okay, Jinyoungie?”

 

Mark's question was unexpected and Jinyoung wasn't sure what he meant by it. His confusion must read on his face because Mark added, “with this? With them?”

 

Jinyoung looked away, gaze in the direction of the half open door, “why wouldn't I be?”

 

Mark placed a hand on Jinyoung's head and softly stroked his hair. If it had been anyone else it would have annoyed him, but not when Mark did it. It felt soothing, “Jinyoung...” Mark said in a delicate voice, “I know you have feelings for Jaebum. I've seen the way you look at him sometimes...”

 

Jinyoung straightened his shoulders and inhaled through his nose, “Used to. I _used to_ have a slight crush on him. It took me a while, but I realized he wasn't ever going to look at me the way he looks at him.” he sighed and turned to look at Mark whose eyes were filled with sympathy and something else that Jinyoung couldn't quite place, “and that's okay,” he turned to stare at the door again, “I've seen those two together and once I realized they go annoyingly well together I've started rooting for them. Not too actively. I was sort of hoping I'd find someone before they got together. Just because I'm not in love with Jaebum anymore doesn't mean I want him to get a boyfriend before I do.”

 

He felt Mark's hand softly stroke his lower arm, “Well, maybe you don't have to look that far to find someone who's interested in you, Jinyoung.”

 

Jinyoung scoffed, “What? Who? Are you talking about Jackson? Because I think he's just very much in love with everyone, including himself.”

 

Mark's hand moved up his arm and landed on the side of his neck. Jinyoung turned his head and Mark softly stroked his jaw with his thumb, “I'm not talking about Jackson, Jinyoungie.”

 

Jinyoung's brain needed a moment to comprehend what was happening here. He'd never thought about Mark that way before, well, maybe once or twice, but he _never_ thought about the possibility of Mark liking him that way. Since he didn't know what else to say he just said what was on his mind, “Wait. _You_ like me?”

 

Mark chuckled, “Seriously Jinyoung for such a smart and observant guy you can be pretty dense. I've been flirting with you forever.” he leaned in a little, “I'm not saying we have to be boyfriends, but...” he softly ran his thumb over Jinyoung's lips, just for a moment as he bit his own bottom lip, sending unfamiliar shivers down Jinyoung's spine. “To quote my good friend Yugyeom: I'm always ready” Mark gave him a wink and walked away to his room, leaving Jinyoung perplexed in the hallway.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Applause for JB, he finally kissed Youngjae! Maybe now they have to actually talk about their relationship status? Markjin is starting to happen as well! Mark might be "always ready", but is Jinyoung?


	5. Just a shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they've crossed the line from friendzone to boyfriend/make-out buddies/this-was-a-one-time-thing zone (they haven't talked about it yet) Jaebum isn't sure how far and how fast he can take this. Youngjae wants a shower. (wow summary A++, lol)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to change the rating I guess, since it got smuttier (I wasn't sure how much smut was going to be in this fic, but I've decided it's probably going to have a lot of it, so...). Thank you all the people who left kudos/comments/bookmarked it :D Sorry I'm super bad at replying to comments, but I really appreciate them! Also, I didn't fully proofread because i have to get up in like 6 hours to go to work, hahaha...but I wanted to post it anyway. I hope you enjoy~

After their first kiss they'd spent the night sleeping in each others arms. That is to say, Jaebum spent most of the night staring at Youngjae sleeping with his head on his chest, not caring that he had a stupid grin on his face and probably looked a little creepy like that. They didn't talk about it the next day. They had an early morning and a schedule that lasted until late. Jaebum tried to focus on work and not think about the previous night too much. He ignored a text from the other Youngjae that only contained a wink smiley with a question mark. He made sure he wasn't next to Youngjae for too long, because he didn't want to be seen smiling like an idiot. He also suppressed the urge to talk to Jinyoung about it (even though he sort of wanted to discuss if he should just kiss him again, or what?).

 

Back at the dorm everybody went to bed almost straight away, tired from their busy schedule. Jaebum crawled under the covers next to Youngjae ( _his_ Youngjae? They hadn't talked about it, maybe they should). Youngjae had been checking his instagram on his phone, but he put it down when he felt Jaebum's warmth joining him under the covers. Youngjae turned on his side, head propped up on his right hand. JB wasn't looking at him, he was pretending to do something on his phone. Youngjae stared at him for a moment, before raising his voice a little, “Hey!”

 

Jaebum raised an eyebrow as he turned his head to the side to look at the man next to him.

 

“Kiss me.” Youngjae stated with a clear voice.

 

Jaebum now raised both of his eyebrows.

 

“Last time I asked and it took you forever, so now I'm telling you to kiss me. I hope you can make up your mind a bit faster this t-” He was interrupted by JB's hungry lips on his own. Youngjae smiled into the kiss and yanked Jaebum down by his shirt as he let himself fall on his back. Youngjae's hands once again found Jaebum's hair and he let his fingers run through it. Their tongues quickly found each other and once again explored every inch of the other's mouth. Jaebum placed his hand on Youngjae's waist, softly squeezing the flesh. He gingerly found the hem of Youngjae's sleeping shirt and slid his hand underneath. Youngjae's skin was warm and soft, perfect. He placed his hand on his waist again, now directly on the skin, but he didn't keep it there for long. Jaebum gave him one last kiss and pulled back. “It's late, we should sleep,” he explained gently as he softly stroke the side of Youngjae's face. Youngjae nodded and turned his back to him so Jaebum could wrap his arm around him from behind.

 

This is how it went on for a few weeks. They made-out some nights (most nights) when they were alone in their room and they didn't talk about it. Not until Youngjae had asked Jaebum if he was his boyfriend and if not if he wanted to be. Jaebum had stroked his hair and told him, “Yes sunshine, I'll be your boyfriend if you'll have me.” Youngjae had laughed and hit JB on his arm for being cheesy, “But let's keep it between us two, okay?” JB had added. Youngjae had stopped laughing at that, but had given a small nod.

 

Their make-out sessions hadn't gone anywhere below the waist yet in the few weeks they'd been together. Jaebum had let his hands wander under Youngjae's shirt a few times, but he always pulled back before it went any further, unsure how far he should go. Of course, instead of talking to Youngjae about this Jaebum, once again, sat down next to Jinyoung on his bed and let out a loud sigh.

 

“Why don't you talk to _him_ about this, Jaebum? I'm really not the one to tell you what kind of sexual pace you should be setting with your boyfriend....plus I really don't want to think about you and Youngjae having sex.” Jinyoung grimaced at the thought and he could almost hear Youngjae's loud voice echoing through the dorm. Jinyoung hesitated for a moment before he added, “Besides...I hate to be the one to point this out but...why are you assuming he's a virgin?”

 

Jaebum stared at him with his mouth hanging halfway open, expression gone blank. He'd never thought about that...he always just assumed no-one had dared to lay their hands on his perfect sunshine before him. Or maybe he was just hoping that he'd be Youngjae's first. Youngjae would be his in a way.

 

Jinyoung sighed, understanding by the look on JB's face that the thought of Youngjae having sex with someone else was about as unappealing to him as the thought of hearing Youngjae and Jaebum's sex-sounds was to Jinyoung. He patted his friend on the shoulder, “Come on, it's not so bad. He might be a virgin, he might not be. What's important here is that you two talk about what you want to do _together_.”

 

Jaebum nodded his head and stood up from Jinyoung's bed, “I'll talk to him I guess...thanks, man” he gave Jinyoung a small smile and walked towards the door. Before he left Jinyoung spoke up again,”Oh and Jaebum...”

 

“hm?”

 

“Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.”

 

With that in mind Jaebum walked out, ignoring Jinyoung's “and be safe, I'm not raising anymore kids!”

 

Jaebum opened the door to their bedroom, with every intention to talk to Youngjae about the circumstances of their not yet existing sex live, but he lost his train of thought when Youngjae exited the room at the same time and bumped into him. The hallway filled with Youngjae's loud laughter, “Sorry, hyung! I didn't see you.” He stopped laughing and took Jaebum's hand in his own, “I was just coming to find you,” he wrapped himself around JB's arm, “I'm going to take a shower and I was wondering if you wanted to join me?” he looked up at his boyfriend and gave him an anticipating look.

 

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to get wet and naked before talking about the things that were on his mind, but Jaebum's body acted before his mind did and he felt a stupid grin appear on his face as he nodded, causing Youngjae's face to light up in the most beautiful smile Jaebum had ever seen. He allowed Youngjae to take his hand and lead them to the bathroom. They we're just going to take a shower, just a shower.

 

Once again ignoring Jinyoung's advice to talk to Youngjae (what did Jinyoung know anyway) he looked at Youngjae taking of his shirt and sweatpants, repeating in his head that this was just a shower, nothing sexual. Nothing sexual about Youngjae's soft looking skin...or the way Youngjae walked over to him and lifted his shirt...or the way he again took his hand to lead him into the shower when they were both naked...and there was definitely nothing sexual about the way Youngjae was looking at him...biting his lip and eyes filled with fake innocence as the warm water flowed down their naked bodies.

 

All thoughts and worries in Jaebum's head were replaced by white noise the moment Youngjae decided to crash their lips together. The kiss was wet and needy. Jaebum almost instantly felt Youngjae's tongue trying to lick its way into his mouth and he let it. Youngjae's tongue was moving slow and heavy inside his mouth, there was something different from the way they'd kissed before. The fierceness of Youngjae's passionate attack on his mouth caused his body to move backwards until he let out a small yelp when he felt the cold bathroom tiles on his back. Youngjae broke their kiss and he looked at JB's flustered face with a hungry look in his eyes. Jaebum lifted his right hand to stroke the side of Youngjae's face, wiping his wet bangs out of his eyes, “You're so pretty, Youngjae.”

 

Youngjae chuckled, “pretty?” he asked with a smirk before he leaned in and placed a kiss on JB's neck, causing him to let out an involuntary moan, “I think you mean hot and sexy, hyung.” He started placing small kisses down Jaebum's neck, his chest, his stomach, as he slowly sank down on his knees.

 

“J-jinyoung” Jaebum muttered.

 

“Excuse you, my name is Youngjae” he replied with a stern voice but a sparkle of amusement in his eyes. Eyes that were looking up at Jaebum. Looking up at him because Youngjae was down on his knees. Down on his knees with his face inches away from his already hard cock. Eyes that made it almost impossible for JB to think straight.

 

“N-no, I mean, Jinyoung's at home?” he managed to get out.

 

“So? That just means you have to stay quiet, hyung.” Youngjae gave him a somewhat awkward looking wink before he added in a far too serious voice, “unless you'd like him to join us?” Youngjae's laugh echoed of the bathroom walls before he looked back up at Jaebum and slapped his thigh, “I'm just kidding, you don't have to look so shocked!” Again laughter filled the bathroom.“But seriously,” he placed a soft kiss on Jaebum's left thigh, “just make sure you keep it down and it'll be fine,” his right thigh, “unless...” he looked up to meet Jaebum's eyes again,”you don't want me to?”

 

“O-only if you want to...” he uttered. He felt he kept his composure quite well considering he wanted to scream how much he wanted to see Youngjae's lips wrapped around his dick.

 

Youngjae smirked, “Hyung. You have no idea.”

 

Jaebum had to close his eyes and bite his lip as Youngjae wasted no time sucking him into his mouth, almost instantly taking all of him in, “H-holy fuck” he groaned under his hitching breath.

 

Youngjae pulled back, “shhh, you have to be quiet remember.” Jaebum silently nodded, eyes still closed, almost letting out a moan as Youngjae returned the attention on his cock. He went slower this time, carefully licking every inch of it before taking it in his mouth again, licking it slowly with his skillful tongue (a little bit _too_ skillful JB would later think to himself).

 

After a bit Jaebum peeled open his eyes and peeked down, but the erotic sight that met his gaze was almost too much to handle. Youngjae, his beautiful innocent looking Youngjae, had his perfect lips wrapped around his erection, his whole length disappearing inside Youngjae's perfect mouth. When he firmly pressed the tip of his tongue against the base of JB's erection and slowly started to work his way up he almost lost it and it took nearly all of his self-control to stay as quiet as possible. An occasional soft whimper still escaping his lips, making Youngjae moan in approval.

 

Jaebum leaned his head back against the wet shower tiles and closed his eyes, knowing he couldn't look at Youngjae working his cock for too long if he didn't want to finish yet. He felt a hand on his right wrist that led him to Youngjae's wet hair. He opened his eyes again in surprise and looked down again to find Youngjae, playfully licking his head like it was some sort of popsicle, staring up at him with daring eyes. Suddenly he stopped being playful and sucked down all of JB in one motion. In response Jaebum grabbed a fist full of his hair and couldn't help a moan that echoed off the bathroom walls. He grabbed his hair a little rougher than he had intended, but the moans he felt vibrating through his cock told him Youngjae definitely didn't mind the tug on his hair.

 

It didn't take long after that for Jaebum to softly whimper Youngjae's name, signaling him that he was about to come. Youngjae didn't stop, he only increased his pace and allowed Jaebum to release inside his mouth. He hummed as his boyfriend's taste spread inside his mouth and he swallowed around him.

 

After taking a moment to come down to earth Jaebum removed his hand from Youngjae's hair and reached it out to help Youngjae get back up. They smiled at each other and Youngjae leaned in for a kiss, but as their tongues touched Youngjae suddenly pulled back, “Oh, sorry. Do you mind?”

 

“You kissing me?”

 

“No I mean, I might still taste like you, some guys don't like tasting themselves...”

Jaebum didn't let it show on his face that he immediately wondered who _some guys_ were, but instead he placed one hand at the back of Youngjae's neck and pulled him in for a deep slow kiss. He then leaned their foreheads together.

 

“You didn't have to...you know....we're in the shower, it wouldn't have really made a mess anyway...”

  
Youngjae pulled his head back and smiled his beaming smile at him, “But I like it!” Jaebum felt a blush spread across his face from Youngjae's completely innocent way of declaring he liked swallowing his boyfriend's cum.

 

“Besides,” Youngjae continued talking gleefully, “I read once that too much sperm can clog the shower drain! Since mine was already going down I thought it would be best not to let yours wash down as well.” Again his laugh bounced of the shower walls.

 

“Wait, what about yours? When did you?” Jaebum instantly felt like a giant ass. He hadn't even bothered to think about doing anything for Youngjae.

 

“Oh, you didn't notice I guess? I took take care of it myself during.”

 

“Ah...sorry”

 

“Why are you apologizing? It was really hot.” Youngjae smiled at him happily.

 

A smirk appeared on Jaebum's face, “yeah?”

 

“Don't get any ideas about a round two, though! The warm water's running out!”

 

Later that night they were all hanging out in the living room. Youngjae had been sitting on the floor, his back leaning against the couch, Jaebum's legs on either side of him. When getting up to go to bed he made a groaning sound and Bambam informed him he sounded like an old man, “shut up, my knees are just a bit sore!” From across the room Jinyoung glared at Jaebum, trying to shake the idea of Youngjae on his knees in the shower out of his head.

 

 

♥

 

It was a few weeks after Mark had told him that he was 'always ready' that Jinyoung found himself standing outside of Mark and Jackson's room. He hadn't followed Mark to his room that night, but here he was now. Standing in front of a closed bedroom door, a bedroom where he knew Mark was. Jackson and Bambam both had work overseas, Youngjae and Jaebum were out on a it's-not-a-date-but-really-it's-a-date date, and Yugyeom was spending the night at his parents. It wasn't a good idea. He shouldn't let his physical longing for Mark that was growing by the day win over his good sense. He should just go back to his own room. He knocked.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well, just how innocent or not innocent is Youngjae? And when will Jaebum ever talk about his worries with Youngjae instead of a reluctant Jinyoung? Speaking of Jinyoung...is he just as much of an idiot as Jaebum?
> 
> This chapter turned out a bit longer than the previous chapters...smut always makes chapters longer I guess? Lol I don't know.


	6. Like a brick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung knocks on Mark's bedroom door. Mark tells him to come in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me longer to finish this chapter than I had planned, but I kept writing pieces from later chapters...  
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments! I really appreciate it. <3
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this Markjin filled chapter!

For a few weeks he'd tried to push the idea of Mark out of his head. For a few weeks he'd tried to convince himself that Mark had just been joking. But after Mark had informed him that he was “always ready” Jinyoung read everything he did completely different than before. He read something behind every look or touch Mark gave him and it was slowly driving him insane. Maybe Mark really had been flirting with him for ages and he just hadn't noticed before.

 

Jinyoung tried to convince himself he wasn't interested in Mark that way. But who was he kidding? Mark was beautiful, sexy. He was a swirl of sweet innocence and playful sex appeal with an infectious laugh. An innocent-looking sexy swirl that had made it known he wouldn't mind _swirling_ with Jinyoung. Once he stopped denying that he wanted to find out if Mark's noises during sex sounded anything like he imagined them to sound like in his head, he started to convince himself it wasn't a good idea. Hooking up with a group member wasn't a good idea. Hooking up with a close friend wasn't a good idea. Risking their friendship and the group's dynamic, despite the physical attraction that was growing inside of him everyday, wasn't a good idea. No. Definitely not.

 

He opened the door after he heard Mark's voice answering his knock, telling him to come in. He closed the door behind him (he wasn't stupid like some people he knew) and awkwardly leaned his back against it. Mark was lying on his bed, busy with his phone. He smiled up at Jinyoung who quickly looked away. “What's up Jinyoungie?” he asked him innocently with a cheerful voice.

 

”I was just wondering...” Jinyoung started saying, still not looking directly at Mark, when he decided that if he wasn't even able to look him in the eye right now he shouldn't even be thinking about having sex with him. So he looked up and met Mark's playful gaze, “Is now also always?”

 

Mark giggled as he put away his phone and stood up from the bed, “What?” He slowly walked towards Jinyoung, who was still standing against the door trying not to look too awkward. Mark knew why Jinyoung was here. Considering the weeks (months really, if you take into account all the flirting Mark had done before Jinyoung knew it was flirting) that had gone into getting Jinyoung here Mark was determined not to let him slip away. No, now that he finally had Jinyoung standing in front of him with a subtle blush painted on his cheeks he was going to take all Jinyoung was willing to give him in this moment. He wasn't going to risk saying the wrong thing and scare him off. No talking. No mess.

 

Jinyoung's heart was beating fast as Mark approached him, getting closer. Jinyoung knew that if this was a scenario someone else was asking him advice about he would tell them to talk first, make sure both parties were on the same page about what was going to happen. But he didn't talk. He just watched Mark getting closer. He watched Mark's lips, he felt Mark's fingers softly stroke his cheek before he felt Mark's lips on his own.

 

Jinyoung was barely able to reciprocate the kiss before Mark's lips moved to his neck. Kissing down it, sucking softly in some places. A little harder in others. Mark clearly knew what he was doing and it didn't take long before an involuntary moan escaped Jinyoung's lips. He could swear he felt Mark grin against his neck and Jinyoung felt he was letting Mark have too much of the control so he moved his hands to firmly grab a hold of Mark's waist, pulling him closer. Mark returned his lips to Jinyoung's mouth and found Jinyoung's lips parting almost immediately, allowing their tongues to find each other. Jinyoung pulled Mark even closer and pushed his own hips forward. They both groaned when their crotches rubbed together.

 

Jinyoung, still with his hands on Mark's hips and his tongue busy exploring his mouth, started to move them towards Mark's bed. He wanted him so badly and from the way he was tugging at his shirt Mark felt the same way. They disentangled their tongues long enough for both of them to pull their shirts over their heads before their mouths crashed together again. Mark started kissing down Jinyoung's neck once more, now going further down to explore the newly revealed flesh. When Mark flicked his tongue over one of Jinyoung's nipples he almost lost it. Jinyoung grabbed the sides of Mark's face and brought their mouths together again, immediately slipping in his tongue. How did Mark taste so good?

 

He felt Mark's hands working on his belt and Jinyoung tugged on the string of Mark's sweatpants. When they were both naked (except for Jinyoung's socks, which looked ridiculous but neither of them seemed to notice or care) Jinyoung gently pushed Mark down on the bed and leaned over him. This time it was his turn to place kisses all over Mark's neck, his collarbones, his chest. He'd never noticed that mole before. He kissed it. He stroked Mark's side, making Mark giggle, “That tickles, Jinyoungie!” Why was he so cute?

 

Jinyoung looked at Mark's face, lust written all over it, and smirked, “Yeah?” he asked cheekily, “how about this?” He moved his hand lower and found Mark's cock. Mark gasped a little when Jinyoung wasted no time in stroking him to full length. He kissed a trail up his neck and landed on his mouth., kissing him hungrily. “Jinyoung...” Mark moaned in between kisses, “let me touch you too...” Jinyoung didn't need to be told twice and he shifted his body so he was next to Mark and he felt his beautiful long fingers wrap around his cock. Mark giggled, “ah, so this is what your _junior_ feels like.” Jinyoung let out a groan that was a mixture of pleasure and annoyance, “Please don't call it that...and don't laugh while you're touching it.”

 

Mark put on his best innocent pouty face, “I'm sorry Jinyoungie. I wasn't laughing at you. Believe me it's anything from laughable what you got down there. I really like the way your penis feels.”

 

Jinyoung turned bright red at that comment but he couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face, “oh my god, why are you so weird.” Both smiling they joined their mouths together again.

 

They stayed likes this for a while, stroking each other and kissing passionately, before Jinyoung broke their lips apart, “Mark?” he asked with an unsure voice, “maybe I should have asked this before, but...what position are you? I usually have a pretty good sense about these things, but with you...I haven't been able to figure it out.” Mark smirked, he was fully enjoying the embarrassed look on Jinyoung's face, “I've done and enjoyed both” Mark informed him, “but right now...” he bit his lower lip and placed his mouth next to Jinyoung's face so he could whisper in his ear, “I really want you to fuck me.”

 

In a matter of seconds Jinyoung moved between Mark's legs and was bending over to kiss him while his hands were roaming over his chest, his sides, his thighs. “J-jinyoung” Mark moaned, “there's stuff in my nightstand...” Jinyoung didn't question why Mark had lube and condoms in his nightstand, he just grabbed it, opened the lube and coated a few fingers. Mark moaned and pulled him down in a deep kiss when the first finger slid inside of him. Jinyoung felt impatient, he wanted to be inside Mark so badly. He'd never felt this desperate to be with someone before. He forced himself to take his time. It wasn't like they'd done this before and he didn't want to rush him. But every moan and hitched breath that Mark made ignited the want inside Jinyoung even more and he was extremely grateful when Mark made it clear that he was as impatient as he was, “Jinyoungie, come on you tease...give me more..” Mark panted in his ear, another moan escaping him as Jinyoung added another finger.

 

Mark was already a complete mess by the time Jinyoung pulled out his fingers and positioned himself near his entrance. Their eyes connected right before Jinyoung steadily started pushing inside. Mark wrapped his legs around Jinyoung's waist and pulled him closer, deeper. Not even in Jinyoung's wildest (dirtiest) dreams had Mark felt this good. Jinyoung bend down and placed a strong kiss on Mark's half open mouth. He felt Mark's hands slide over the back of his head, grabbing and tugging at his hair. Their kissed were wet and sloppy. Jinyoung increased the strength and pace of his thrusts. “J-jinyoung...fuck...” Mark dropped his head back, eyes closed. Jinyoung placed a kiss on his neck and gave him a little bite before he positioned himself upward again. He pulled Mark's hips even closer, earning another moan from Mark.

 

“Mark...” he said with a half-broken voice. Mark peeled his eyes open. “Touch yourself, it's hot” Jinyoung panted. He'd lost all the embarrassment he might have felt at the beginning and all he cared about right now was seeing Mark reach his climax underneath him. He'd thought that Mark's flushed face as he fucked him was the most erotic thing he could ever see, but when Mark wrapped his fingers around his own length and opened his eyes to meet Jinyoung's gaze he had to rethink his list of top erotic sights. Mark's lips were parted and soft moans escaped his mouth with every thrust of Jinyoung's hips. He could sense Mark getting closer to the edge and Jinyoung fucked him harder, the pit of his stomach torn between wanting to push Mark over the edge and wanting to pull him back from it because he didn't want this to end. But it did end.

 

Mark came with Jinyoung's name on his lips and his eyes shut tight. Jinyoung felt like he could hardly breath seeing Mark wrecked underneath him, covered in his own cum. Mark's eyes slowly opened again and the moment their eyes met Jinyoung felt himself fall over the edge after him. He closed his eyes and let his orgasm wash over him. He bent down and heavily leaned his forehead against Mark's soft shoulder.

 

Mark felt Jinyoung's hair tickle his neck, he felt the warmth of his sweat-slick skin, he felt his own cum creating a sticky mess on their stomachs. And as he lay there, Jinyoung still catching his breath on top of him, it hit him like a brick. Fuck. He was in love with him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed smutty Markjin! So...Mark has realised he's in love with Jinyoung. :o Don't think it's going to be a smooth ride from here...the title is "Denial" ;) 
> 
> Don't worry about the lack of 2jae in this chapter. There's still plenty of 2jae coming! (coming...hehe)


	7. Another drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark has realized he has more feelings for Jinyoung than he thought, but Jinyoung turns him down. Mark says he's fine, but is he? And is Jinyoung? Monsta X makes an (important) appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, it's been forever, sorry! I was busy with live and stuff like that I guess. Also, I had a lot of trouble with this chapter and I'm not 100% happy with it, but here it is anyway lol (I haven't proofed it, it's 1am and I'm in no mood to read it again right now, haha).

Mark watched from the bed as Jinyoung gather his clothes from the floor and got dressed. Had he always been this beautiful?

 

“You don't have to leave, you know. Jackson won't be back tonight.”

 

Those words, words that had the potential to make this more that just sex, was exactly what Jinyoung hadn't wanted to hear. He didn't answer. He pretended not to have heard as he finished getting dressed by pulling his shirt down over his head.

 

“Jinyoung?” Mark's voiced asked. He'd gotten up from the bed and was standing in front of Jinyoung. Their eyes met for a moment before Jinyoung turned around to walk towards the door. He knew he was being rude, but he hadn't thought this through. He hadn't thought about what he would do if Mark wanted more. He hadn't though about this scenario and he was kicking himself for it. He wasn't exactly good at dealing with these sort of things as they happened. He needed time to plan and make a pros and cons list or something.

 

“I know I said we don't have to be boyfriends or anything, but...do you maybe want to? We could do this a lot more often along with other things...” Mark spoke softly. He was trying to sound casual, but he was pretty sure he was failing. He tried to read Jinyoung's expression, but even though he had turned back to face him he wasn't looking directly at him and it was hard to tell what he was thinking.

 

“Oh...I..eh...” Jinyoung stammered. He couldn't look his friend, who he just had very passionate sex with, in the eye.

 

Jinyoung's hesitation dropped in Mark's stomach like a rock. He didn't want to be his boyfriend. He hadn't felt what Mark had when they we're making love. No, they didn't ' _make love_ _'_ _,_ they fucked. Mark silently cursed himself for saying anything and quickly smiled at Jinyoung and let out a giggle.

 

“Ah sorry, I didn't mean to give such an awkward spin to a great hook-up. Let's just keep it at that.”

 

“Mark, it _was_ a great hook-up,” Jinyoung lifted his head to finally face his friend, “I just don't think we should do anything more than that and I don't think we should hook up again. It probably wasn't a good idea in the first place...group members just hooking up. Besides, I'm really not in a place where I want a relationship with anyone, you know?”

 

Mark had nodded and Jinyoung had left. The night that had started so sweet had a bitter aftertaste.

 

<>

After that night Jinyoung wasn't sure how to handle himself around Mark. He didn't want things to be awkward between them, but he also wanted to give Mark some space. There wasn't a lot of opportunity for space during their training session a few days later when they had to stretch and the 2jae couple and Jackson and the two youngest immediately teamed up. Leaving Mark en Jinyoung to stretch together. They sat down opposite each other and started to stretch their legs together. Jinyoung hadn't really planned to be this close to Mark again so soon, physically. Jinyoung tried to read Mark's facial expression, but he apparently wasn't being very subtle.

 

“Jinyoung, will you stop staring at me like I'm a sad puppy or something?” Mark spoke up. Not too loud so the others wouldn't hear, “I'm fine, okay? Please just forget the last 5 minutes of that night. I was just high on orgasm, that's all. There weren't any strings attached.” Jinyoung didn't quite believe him, but he didn't get a chance to say anything because they got interrupted by loud voices. Jackson was sitting on top of a squirming Youngjae massaging his ass because ' _that's a very important muscle that people often forget to take care of'_ until he got dragged of by Jaebum

 

<>

The whole thing was still bothering Jinyoung when he got back to his room later that day. He never should have slept with Mark. It's one thing to hook-up with some random guy, it's a whole other thing to hook -up with someone you work and live with and who you're friends with. Mark pretended to be fine about being rejected, but Jinyoung didn't buy it and he was sure Mark was hurting. _He_ hurt him, because he was an idiot and had sex with him. Jinyoung was busy brooding about Mark when Jaebum entered his room.

 

“Jinyoung, can I ask you something?”

 

Jinyoung let out a small sigh, knowing this was going to be about something he really didn't want to talk about (Jaebum and Youngjae's sex live or lack thereof), but he needed some good friend karma right now so he followed his sigh with an affirmative nod and a pat on his bed to motion JB to sit down next to him. “Of course.”

 

“So...remember when you told me to talk to Youngjae about, you know, _sex_ ”

 

“I do remember. I also remember how you two went to the bathroom and came out looking way too happy.”

 

A stupid grin appeared on JB's face along with a soft blush, “Y-yeah, I didn't really talk to him that time...I was going to! But, he...well...”

 

“He gave you a blow job.” Jinyoung stated, it wasn't even a question.

 

“How do you know!?” Jaebum almost yelled, shock on his face.

 

“Youngjae complained about his knees hurting that night and we hadn't done anything that might have caused that. Besides, I knew you hadn't had sex or else you would have told me already. Oh and the bathroom isn't soundproof you know.”

 

Looking at his awkward red-faced friend Jinyoung suppressed the urge to let out a large sigh and instead asked, “and what's the problem with what happened? Apart from the fact that we all use that bathroom and I'll never feel clean again?”

 

“It's just that...he was really good at it, Jinyoung. I mean... _really_ good.” Jaebum spoke softly.

 

Jinyoung groaned and closed his eyes, “Please Jaebum, I don't want to know!”

 

“No, but I mean _really really_ good....”

 

The conversation was starting to annoy Jinyoung. How many times did he have to listen to his best friend whining about how _good_ he had it? Youngjae wanted Jaebum and Jaebum wanted Youngjae. What more could Jaebum need? ”What's your point?” he said a little harsher than intended.

 

“It just got me wondering how much of that kind of stuff he's done...he also said that..”

 

But before JB could finish his sentence he was interrupted by Jinyoung who suddenly stood up from the bed, “Do you _really_ want to know? Does it _really_ matter? He sucked your dick and he was good at it. What's the fucking problem?”

 

JB was taken aback by his friend's sudden anger and looked at him confused, “what's _your_ problem all of a sudden?”

 

“Jaebum, seriously, we've had this conversation before.” Jinyoung continued with anger and frustration in his voice. “Talk to _him_. Has it ever occurred to you that I don't have time to listen to you bitch about your boyfriend's sexual past that he may or may not have?”

 

Jaebum had fallen silent and Jinyoung knew he was busy going too far (he knew JB was insecure about this and only needed someone to talk to), but all the frustration and confused feelings he had about the whole Mark situation was coming out, “I don't want to hear about it anymore. Everybody has a past, maybe Youngjae's had wild and kinky sex with a whole bunch of people. Maybe you were right that night when he first asked if he could kiss you. Maybe he did go over to Mark to hook up. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if they've sucked each other's dicks, have you seen how close and clingy they can get!? If anything, I wouldn't be worried about his past, I'd be worried about the time he spends behind closed doors with Mark.”

 

Jinyoung didn't wait for JB to respond and he walked out of the room, through the front door. Out. Away from the dorm. Away from Jaebum and his stupid problems with stupid Youngjae who was good at sucking stupid Jaebum's stupid dick. And Mark. Away from Mark. Mark and his 'always ready' and his 'we don't have to be boyfriends' and his 'do you want to?' and his hurt look when Jinyoung told him no. It wasn't his fault. It was supposed to be just a hook-up. It's not his fault Mark decided that he wanted it to be more all of a sudden.

 

Jinyoung kept walking until he'd reached a bar not too far from the company. He'd been there before. He used to hang out here sometimes. He went inside and sat down at the bar. He ordered a drink. And another one. He was on his third drink when he spotted a familiar face across the bar. Monsta X's Lee Minhyuk was sipping at a fancy looking drink. He looked sad. Jinyoung got up from his bar stool and he immediately felt the alcohol sinking down his legs, but he managed to make his way over to Minhyuk and sit down on the stool next to him.

 

Minhyuk looked up at Jinyoung and gave him a weak smile. “He's never going to love me like I love him, is he?” Minhyuk didn't have to say the name for Jinyoung to know who he was talking about. Shownu. Shownu was a sore topic for Jinyoung and he definitely didn't want to think about _that_ chapter of his life right now. He didn't answer Minhyuk, who was staring at him with tears in his eyes. He just softly took his hands in his own to comfort him. He ordered them another drink. Maybe another one.

 

Jinyoung wasn't sure who made the first move and he wasn't sure exactly how they ended up like this. Minhyuk ignoring the fact that Jinyoung wasn't really the person he wanted to be with and Jinyoung ignoring the fact that Minhyuk resembled Mark a bit from certain angles. They tangled their bodies together in the room of a somewhat sleazy hotel, fueled by alcohol and denial.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :O Sh*t is going down and Jinyoung...what are you doing? Not a lot of 2jae in this chapter, but I'm thinking of making the next one a bit more 2jae-focused (they have to have sex at one point :p)


	8. Borrow a book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung returns home from his night with Minhyuk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for those who are waiting for 2jae action (it has a bit at the end of this chapter), but I needed to handle a few other things first. This chapter is a bit of a bits and pieces kind of chapter, haha (I also wrote this at 2am, so sorry for any mistakes I might read it again later).
> 
> Thank you everybody who has left kudos and comments, comments are life!

Minhyuk had left first. Their goodbye was an awkward hug and a vague promise to call or text each other. The whole night had turned into a pounding headache by the time Jinyoung got back to the dorm. He wasn't exactly sure what time it was, but he wasn't expecting anyone to still be up. The soft ticking of Youngjae's keyboard shouldn't have come as a total surprise though. He often stayed up late when they didn't have work the next day to play video games.

 

“Hyung?” Youngjae's voice asked softly when Jinyoung tried to sneak into his bedroom. He turned around, half expecting Youngjae to be mad at him like JB probably was, but Youngjae had a concerned look on his face. “Are you okay? It's really late and you didn't answer my messages...”

 

“I'm sorry, Youngjae...I just forgot to check my phone, okay? I didn't mean to worry you.” Jinyoung said in an apologetic voice, “I'll just go to bed now. Don't stay up to late, Youngjae.”

 

“Wait. Hyung.” Youngjae got up and got closer to Jinyoung, “are you really okay? Jaebum was really mad before, but he wouldn't tell me what was going on. He just said you got mad all of a sudden when he was asking you if he could borrow a book or something.”

 

 _Borrow a book?_ “It was nothing, really. I was just stressed out and I took it out on Jaebum. I'll apologize to him in the morning...in a few hours I guess.”

 

Youngjae nodded and he leaned in to give Jinyoung a comforting hug, but pulled back with his hand covering his nose, “damn Jinyoung, you reek of alcohol.”

 

“ah, sorry” Jinyoung quickly covered his own mouth.

 

“You know, hyung, alcohol isn't very good for you. Next time you're stressed out you should just have sex or something.” Youngjae's laugh shot through the silence. He hit Jinyoung on the arm, “well, goodnight. I hope you feel better in the morning. Don't worry about JB. I'm sure he'll understand.”

 

<>

 

A few hours later Jinyoung woke up, thankful to his past-self for taking an aspirin with a huge glass of water before going to bed. He looked at his phone to check the time and saw all the messages Youngjae had sent him last night asking if he was okay. No other messages. He felt gross and needed a shower. He dreaded going to the living room. There were too many voices, too many people who he didn't want to deal with before brushing his teeth. But he couldn't just stay cooped-up all day so he took a deep breath and went out. He found Mark, Youngjae, and Bambam on the couch playing some sort of video game with great enthusiasm. JB was busy staring at them (at Mark and Youngjae probably) but he looked up when he saw Jinyoung coming from the bedroom. Jinyoung ignored Jaebum's glare and pretended not to see Mark's curious gaze and he kept walking to the bathroom. He let out a deep sigh when he saw himself in the mirror, “Park Jinyoung...you're an idiot and you look like hell.” he mumbled to himself.

 

Feeling much better after a warm shower he walked back into the living room and stopped in front of Jaebum, “Jaebum, can you come to my room for a moment. I have that _book_ you wanted to borrow.” If Youngjae hadn't already told him to make up with Jinyoung, he would have told him that he didn't want his stupid book. Instead he got up and reluctantly followed.

 

There was a moment of loaded silence before Jinyoung started talking, “I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday. I was having a bad day and I took it out on you. I didn't mean the things I said. Well, I did mean that you should talk to Youngjae more instead of me. I mean, _he_ is the one you want to have sex with, so-”

 

“You're not great at apologies.” Jaebum frowned.

 

“Sorry, I just-”

 

“It's okay man. I get it. I understand you were stressed and that I bother you too much with that kinda stuff. I just feel comfortable talking to you about it and I sometimes really need that...”

 

They smiled at each other. They'd known each other for years and not a lot of words were needed between them after a fight like this.

 

“We're good?” Jinyoung asked.

 

“We're good.” Jaebum replied.

 

Jinyoung hesitated for a moment, not wanting to start another thing, before he asked, “Jaebum, why did you tell Youngjae we had a fight because you wanted to borrow a book instead of what really happened?”

 

“He doesn't have to know about certain things I talked to you about...”

 

“Okay, I guess I get that.” Jinyoung hesitated again, “but...Jaebum? Does he even know that I know? I mean that you two are together?”

 

Jaebum stayed silent for a moment, “Look, I just think it's better if other people don't know about our relationship. It's nobodies business.”

 

“Not even for the people you live with? Besides, I already know anyway.”

 

Jaebum started to look annoyed, “Look, can you just keep it between us, that you know? Please. The more people talk about it the bigger the chance everybody is going to find out. I want to keep it a secret.”

 

“Sure, there's no way that's going to blow up in your face.” Jinyoung said sarcastically.

 

“Jinyoung, please. We've decided it's best if nobody knows.”

 

Jinyoung wasn't that convinced that Youngjae had actually agreed with that, but he nodded, “okay fine. I don't need another one of you talking to me about sex anyway.”

 

“Yeah, about that...”

 

They spent the next hour sitting on Jinyoung's bed, discussing the perfect way for JB to “woo” Youngjae (although Jinyoung spent half of that time telling Jaebum to talk to Youngjae first).

 

<>

 

A few days later Jinyoung was reading the newspaper at the kitchen table. Jackson was sitting next to him, reading a magazine. Jinyoung hadn't heard from Minhyuk and Jinyoung hadn't contacted Minhyuk either.

 

“Jinyoung, can I ask you something?” Jackson asked.

  
  
Jinyoung looked up from his newspaper, “sure, Jackson.”

 

“What's your ideal type?”

 

Jinyoung frowned a little, “don't we already get asked these types of questions all the time?”

 

“Well, yeah. But I realized I still don't know what your type is actually? I'm just curious. Come on tell me!”

 

“No.” Jinyoung tried to read his paper again, but Jackson had gotten closer, “Oh come on. Please. Please. Just tell me what kind of girl you want to marry!”

 

“I don't want to marry any _girl_ ” Shit. He hadn't meant to put emphasize on 'girl', it slipped out. He wasn't exactly ashamed of being gay, but he hadn't come-out either and besides Jaebum (and Mark obviously) none of the members knew and a slip of the tongue like this wasn't his ideal way of coming out. For a moment he thought Jackson hadn't even noticed, but then a wide grin spread on Jackson's face and he wiggled his eyebrows, “No _girls_ , huh?” Jackson's expression turned serious, “Jinyoung, are you gay?”

 

This was the first time someone had just straight up asked him that question. He could deny it, avoid the question, or just come out and say it. But honestly Jinyoung had a stomach full of things he was keeping inside and if there was one person he knew would fully accept and support him it was Jackson Wang. “Yes. Yes, I'm gay. I like men. I'm a man, who likes other men.”

 

Jackson high pitched squealed.

 

“Why are you so happy?” Yugyeom, who was entering the kitchen and walked to the fridge to get a drink, asked.

 

Jackson, smart enough to understand it wasn't up to him to out Jinyoung to the other members, wrapped an arm around Jinyoung's shoulders, “he said I'm sexy!”

 

Jinyoung pushed Jackson away, unable to hide a smile, “I did not!”

 

“Well, whatever.” Yugyeom said as he walked away again. It's not like Jackson talking about his sexiness was anything out of the ordinary.

 

Jackson got even closer to Jinyoung and started whispering, “do any of the other members know? Are you on Grindr? Do you have a secret boyfriend? Who is it? Is he good to you? I can kick his ass if he's not! I can't believe you would keep your boyfriend a secret from me! Is he jealous because you live with so many hot guys? Is that why you have your own room, so your boyfriend doesn't get jealous?”

 

“J-jackson...relax. I don't have a boyfriend. We currently still have that no-dating policy, remember? And to answer your other question, Jaebum knows.” _and Mark knows_.

 

“As soon as we can officially date I'm going to find you a nice man!” Jackson beamed at Jinyoung, “but you have to promise me we'll always have our special Wang gae Park gae bond! Don't leave me!” Jackson added dramatically. Jinyoung laughed at his friend and he felt lighter than he had in weeks.

 

<>

 

Jaebum had it all figured out. He would take Youngjae to a hotel, a nice one, with a jacuzzi or something. He would go all out. Rose pedals, champagne, an empty schedule the next day so they could stay up as long as their passion would sustain them. After an excessive online search he (actually Jinyoung) had found the perfect hotel. Jinyoung refused to book it for him and threatened to tell Youngjae about the surprise if JB didn't talk to Youngjae first (or as he put it “I'm not helping you lure Youngjae into a hotel room without knowing if he's even ready to have sex with you! TALK TO HIM”)

 

So one night when they were about to go to sleep Jaebum, subtle as he is, brought up the subject, “Youngjae, do you want to have sex? With me.”

 

Youngjae looked up from his phone and looked at his boyfriend innocently, “right now? Everybody is at home. I don't know if you've noticed this but I'm already pretty loud when I'm not having sex, let alone wh-”

 

“Not right now! I just mean, are you ready for that?”

 

Youngjae sat up straight, “Honestly?”

 

Jaebum nodded, not sure what to expect his boyfriend to say.

 

“I'm totally ready.”

 

“A-ah, really?” Jaebum somewhat stammered.

 

“Yes. Please. We cuddle, we make-out, and that's great, but I'm definitely ready for more. Much more.” He added a sexy (awkward looking) wink.

 

Jaebum grinned at him, “I'm glad. Me too.” He leaned in and gave Youngjae a quick kiss before standing up, “excuse me for a moment I have to-”

 

“Borrow a book from Jinyoung?”

 

“eh, I just...yeah”

 

“Jaebum? Is 'borrowing a book from Jinyoung' slang for jerking off in the bathroom or something? Because I can help you with that.”

 

Jaebum didn't know what to say to that, so he just turned completely red and walked out. The sound of Youngjae's laugh followed him into the hallway. Jaebum found Jinyoung reading on his bed.

 

“Book that hotel because me and Youngjae are going to have sex!”

 

Jinyoung sighed. Why was his life like this?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, book your own hotel Jaebum!  
> Isn't Jackson nice and supportive? I love supportive friend Jackson (of course he doesn't know about the Markjin sex...not sure how he would feel about that yet).
> 
> I promise next chapter is going to be 2jae smut!


	9. Movie/date night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum and Youngjae spend the night at home in their room watching a movie. They talk about doing sexy stuff, they also do some sexy stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...the last time I updated dinosaurs still walked the earth. I've been having soooo much trouble with this part of the story. I'm not sure why. Seeing as the coffee I drank is apparently super effective it is now 3:30 am and I'm awake, so I decided to finish a chapter. But, 3:30 am is still 3:30 am, so I didn't feel like super thorough proof-reading. Anyways, enjoy~

There is nothing wrong with taking it slow in a relationship and Jaebum and Youngjae had been taking it slow (as slow as you can take a relationship where you've moved in together before anything else has even happened). Of course a large part in this was their inability to properly communicate about what they wanted. But at least they weren't moving too fast and that was good. _Was_ good. Now that the cat was out of the bag and the sex cards were on the table it had become harder and harder to not think about it. All. The. Time. During practice, fan meets, recordings for television or radio. Jaebum was aware of everything Youngjae did and he had trouble concentrating. It didn't help that Youngjae would subtly touch his thigh if they were seated next to each other. Or the soft compliments he sometimes whispered in his ear when he walked by. Or his ass. Jaebum definitely couldn't help his mind from wandering into the not-safe-for-kids zone whenever he noticed Youngjae's ass.

 

Of course he was a professional and no-one seemed to notice. Well...everyone noticed. At least that JB was sometimes staring or that the frequency of their skin ship moments had increased. No-one seemed to suspect anything beyond that. That was what Jaebum told himself anyway, missing Mark's glare that followed him and Youngjae increasingly these days.

 

The biggest problem, however, was that they didn't seem to be able to find a good opportunity to turn words into action (sexy action). There was always work or other people. Jaebum had opted to plan his hotel trip on a regular night, but, as Jinyoung had pointed out, that would raise questions. No-one normally stayed out late when there was work the next day. So they waited.

 

It had been about two weeks since they talked about having sex when they were in their room watching a movie together. It was something of a movie/date night. They'd watched movies together before, but now that they were dating it immediately turned into some sort of date. Jaebum had his arms casually wrapped around Youngjae who was slouched down in between his legs. His head on Jaebum's chest.

 

“Hyung?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“I know we're probably not going to do it until we have a night alone at the dorm or something, but just to be clear can I ask you something?”

 

Jaebum shifted a little, “of course, sunshine.”

 

“You top, right?” Youngjae turned his head upwards and saw JB's face go red.

 

“eh well I...I haven't really...”

 

Youngjae sat up and faced Jaebum, eyes surprised and slightly confused. This was not the answer he had expected, “Really!? Oh...wow. Sorry, I'm just a little surprised. I really didn't think you were a bottom to be honest. Not that's it a bad thing or anything! I'll just have to adjust my expectations about our sex life a bit I guess.”

 

Jaebum, still red and avoiding Youngjae's stare, weakly shook his head,“N-no...it's not that I bottom either...I just haven't...”

 

“Oh...?” Youngjae's brain only managed to come up with two explanations for what JB was saying. Either he didn't like the whole idea of anal sex in general or... “Wait...Jaebum, are you a virgin?” He didn't sound judgmental or like he was mocking him, he just asked.

 

“Not really...”

 

“You're losing me here.”

 

“Well...I...I've had sex...but not...not with a guy...”

 

“Oh” Youngjae took a moment to process this new information. He had just assumed that his out-of-this-world hot boyfriend wasn't a stranger to all kinds of sex. Thinking back at how timid and, let's face it, a bit clumsy Jaebum had been when they did certain things Youngjae was starting to wonder why he hadn't thought of the possibility that Jaebum was a virgin. At least a man-virgin. He wasn't sure he was going to like the answer but he had to ask, “...are you scared you're not going to like it with a guy...with me?”

 

Jaebum's head jerked up and, for the first time since this conversation had started, looked his boyfriend in the eye, “No!” He took one of Youngjae's hand in his own, “I can't say I completely enjoyed the sex I've had so far to be honest. I mean, it was all right, but always sort of awkward. What are you supposed to do with boobs anyway?” He gave Youngjae a soft smile and gave his hand a squeeze, “I might be a bit nervous because it'll be our first time together and all that, but I'm sure it will be amazing because it'll be with you.”

 

A bright smile appeared on Youngjae's face,“You're so cheesy Im Jaebum.” He playfully hit his shoulder.

 

Youngjae's loud laughter bounced of the walls when JB grabbed him in a headlock, “I see you smirking, you little a-hole! You love it.”

 

After a minute or two of roughhousing they, inevitability, ended up in a cuddle position. Jaebum on the mattress with one arm under his head and the other wrapped around Youngjae's shoulder. Youngjae had his chin on Jaebum's chest and was staring up at him with an adoring smile. Jaebum softly ran his hand through Youngjae's fluffy hair and broke the silence, “Youngjae?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What about you?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“...sex?” Despite opening up earlier Jaebum always felt a bit awkward talking about sex with his boyfriend. It made him feel young and inexperienced (which he was, but hey, that didn't mean he liked to feel that way).

 

“Oh I bottom. I guess I'm not opposed to trying it the other way, but...”

 

“And...you've done it before?”

 

“I have.” Youngjae brought a hand to Jaebum's cheek to give it a comforting stroke and to redirect Jaebum's eyes back to him. Jaebum had looked the other way when he asked his question and Youngjae felt it bothered him to know that he wouldn't be Youngjae's first (Youngjae didn't feel it was necessary for his boyfriend to know what number he was), “but never with someone I was this serious about and cared so much for.” He sat up and placed his hands on either side of Jaebum's body, he leaned in to kiss him softly. After a few more soft kissed he leaned back again, “just to be clear...you want to top, right? When we do it?”

 

A shy smirk appeared on JB's face and he gave a small nod. Youngjae leaned back in, he whispered a soft ' _good'_ and joined their lips together once more. He licked at Jaebum's lips as if to ask for permission to enter which JB gladly gave. He still tasted like the strawberry milk he'd had earlier. Youngjae didn't think he could ever get enough of Jaebum's mouth, his tongue and the way he joined together with his own. Their kissed deepened and the remaining distance between their bodies disappeared.

 

Youngjae pulled back and pulled his own shirt over his head and tossed it aside, “we could be quiet.”

 

Jaebum groaned and he had to muster all his sense of responsibility and self-constraint looking at the half-naked body of the young man across from him,“No Youngjae, we can't”

 

“Please, I want to be with you so bad. Who even cares that the others might hear us have sex!”

 

“I care and you should care too. We don't want to traumatize the rest of the group.”

 

Youngjae's mouth dropped open as if he was offended, “my sex sounds are _not_ traumatizing! But I'm guessing you don't want to know then?”

 

Jaebum pulled Youngjae on top of him and ran a hand through his hair, “my beautiful sunshine, I'm guessing your sex sounds are even more amazing than your singing voice and I can barely contain myself thinking about it. But...we can't just have sex with everybody at home. Especially not for our first time” _Because I'm super romantic and have the whole thing planned..._ “I don't want our first time to be a time where we have to constantly worry about keeping it down or someone knocking at the door.”

 

Youngjae reluctantly nodded in agreement and got a bit more comfortable on JB's lap, straddling his thighs.

 

“Besides,” Jaebum continued, “In six days we'll have a day off. I'm sure we can work something out by then.”

 

Youngjae smirked and bent down to join their lips together, “I'm sure we can.”

 

It didn't take long for their kisses to become more heated. Youngjae slid his tongue inside Jaebum's mouth and moaned when their tongues re-united. Jaebum's hands explored the soft skin of Youngjae's back. He let out a moan of his own when he felt two hands roughly grabbing his hair, “fuck you're hot.” Jaebum's wasn't even sure if he actually said that out loud. He wasn't thinking completely straight anymore.

 

“We could...do some other stuff? Real quick...and quiet?” Youngjae moan-whispered in his boyfriend's ear in between kisses.

 

“What do...you have...in mind?” Jaebum's voice came out a lot more unsteady than he would have wanted, but keeping a clear head when your being straddled by a gorgeous man who had his tongue in your mouth wasn't as easy as you might think.

 

Youngjae untangled his fingers from Jaebum's soft hair and brought them down to fumble with Jaebum's belt. He was stopped by a hand on his wrist. Youngjae leaned pack and pouted at his boyfriend, “Relax, I'm not going for sex...I just wanted to give you a blow job. You were very good at staying moderately quiet last time.”

 

His pout was met with Jaebum's smirky smile and a soft stroke of his hand on the side of his cheek, “I know, sunshine. But I just thought of something. How about we...” Jaebum wrapped his arm around Youngjae's waist and flipped them around so that Youngjae was the one with his back on the mattress and Jaebum was leaning over him, “switch the roles this time?”

 

Youngjae swallowed and bit his lip as he nodded. Jaebum nodded too and felt a bit nervous all of a sudden. Youngjae had been so good at it and, if he was being completely honest, JB had very little (okay, no) experience in sucking dick. But dammit, he wanted to put his mouth on Youngjae and make him come undone. He swallowed his nerves and bent down to suck at Youngjae's neck. His cheeks went red when Youngjae started moaning and whispering in his ear, “just the thought of your lips wrapped around my cock is almost enough to make me come.”

 

“Y-youngjae” Jaebum uttered more out of surprise for the words coming from his boyfriend's mouth than anything else.

 

Youngjae couldn't help but letting out a loud laugh at Jaebum's dumbfound expression on his face, “I'm only telling the truth.”

 

Jaebum roughly slid his tongue in Youngjae's mouth with new found confidence, “you're so dirty, sunshine.” he said as he started working on his neck and chest again.

 

“I'm not the one who's about to put a dick in his mouth.” Youngjae teased.

 

“Yeah? How about you keep this up and you also won't be someone who's about to have a mouth around his dick.” He put emphasize on the dick part by squeezing Youngjae's over his sweatpants, eliciting a low moan.

 

“Ssshh” Jaebum slid his hand in Youngjae's pants and wrapped his fingers around his half-hard erection. He returned his tongue to Youngjae's mouth and explored every inch of it while stroking him to full length. He gave him one last strong kiss on the lips before he pulled away and swiftly pulled down Youngjae's pants and underwear. Youngjae quickly pressed his hands to his mouth, but he couldn't prevent the yelp of surprise at the sudden exposure to escape his lips.

 

For a moment they both stiffened and listened for any indication that someone had heard that, but it seemed to be okay. Jaebum moved down to position himself between Youngjae's legs. He wrapped a hand around him and pumped slowly. He felt a bit like he was on display (which was silly since he wasn't the one with his dick out) when he sensed Youngjae's eyes on him. When their eyes met JB quickly looked away again. Fortunately Youngjae seemed to understand how he was feeling because he leaned his head back on the pillow so he wasn't looking down anymore.

 

Jaebum swallowed and licked his lips before cautiously wrapping them around Youngjae's tip. The moan that fell from Youngjae's mouth, despite his effort to suppress it, went straight to Jaebum's own growing erection, but he decided he wanted his full attention on Youngjae right now. So he ignored his own dick and started bobbing his head up and down. Taking in a bit more of his boyfriend each time he went down. It almost felt strange how a dick in his mouth didn't really feel that strange. In fact, he quite liked it. He used his hand to make up the length so he didn't have to take too much on his first go at sucking cock and tried to focus on his tongue-work. Letting it slide across the bottom of the shaft and whirling it around the head.

 

His confidence grew with every soft sound his boyfriend made and he dared to glance up to see if Youngjae still had his head down on the pillow. He didn't. Their eyes met and _fuck_ if that wasn't turning JB on way more than he thought it ever could. He kept their eyes locked until Youngjae let his head fall back again and he felt a hand in his hair, “a-almost...just let me come on your hand or something.”

 

Jaebum, ignoring that feeling of inexperience that made him insecure, did what Youngjae suggested. He pulled back to finish him off by hand, it only took a few strokes. They'd jerked each other off before, so the ending wasn't anything new, but Jaebum counted the experience as a whole as a success. From the satisfied look on Youngjae's face he did too. Jaebum grabbed some tissues that were next to the bed and cleaned his hand and Youngjae's stomach.

 

“Take of your pants and come here,” Youngjae's voice spoke softly. Youngjae's eyes were still closed so Jaebum thought he might have imagined it, but it surely reminded him of his own erection that was screaming for attention now, “d-did you say something?” he asked sheepishly.

 

Youngjae peeled his eyes open and pulled on Jaebum's wrist, “I said to take of your pants and come here.”

 

Thinking back to the time in the shower when he had completely forgotten about Youngjae, who had already finished by his own effort, Jaebum didn't immediately take of his own pants, “you don't have to...it's okay. I'll just jerk off later.”

 

Youngjae pulled on his wrist a bit harder and sighed, “Im Jaebum, take of your pants and put your dick in my mouth! Please. I want to, but I really don't feel like getting up after that amazing orgasm you just gave me.”

 

Jaebum thought to himself that he didn't really mind this assertive side of Youngjae as he removed his clothing and knelt down near Youngjae's head. Youngjae turned on his side a bit and let Jaebum slide his cock in his mouth. He placed a hand on JB's ass, signaling him to move.

 

He wasn't sure if Youngjae was just being lazy or if he knew just how hot it was to fuck his mouth, but Jaebum didn't really care. He carefully increased the speed and depth of this thrusts, urged on by Youngjae's moans around his cock, “fuck Youngjae. This is so fucking hot.”

 

Youngjae replied with a knowing wink and a squeeze on JB's ass. With Youngjae staring up at him with his innocent eyes it didn't take long before Jaebum felt his orgasm was closing in on him. Youngjae might have said last time he actually liked swallowing, but Jaebum didn't want to assume and be an ass. He also didn't really want to pull out to ask him a question. So he opted for: “baby, if I can come in your mouth squeeze my ass, okay?”

 

He almost yelped when his ass got squeezed a lot harder than he would have expected. Taking that as a clear yes he reached his orgasm with a few more thrusts in Youngjae's mouth. He wanted to scream and moan and yell out Youngjae's name, but he somehow managed to control himself to only let out a low grunt-like sound (which probably sounded a bit weird, but he couldn't really give a fuck at that moment).

 

Youngjae pulled his head back and reached his arm up to pull on JB's sweater that he was still wearing, “I want cuddles.”

 

Satisfied and very pleased with their apparent abilities to be more or less quiet while having amazing orgasms Jaebum and Youngjae cuddled together under the blankets. Youngjae put on one of JB's hoodies and they re-winded the movie to continue movie/date night. Not even five minutes later there was a knock on the door.

 

“Y-yeah?” Jaebum said after he untangled his arms from Youngjae, who wasn't so eager to end the cuddle.

 

“Hey, sorry to disturb you guys while you're watching a movie,” Mark said as he came through the door, “but, Youngjae, I was wondering if you still had to walk Coco? She's a bit restless.”

 

“Nah, I already did. Oh! She's probably looking for that new toy I got her. She wouldn't go with me on her walk because she was so busy playing with it that I hid it.”

 

“Well, can you show me where it is then?”

 

“eh, no”

 

Mark raised an eye brow and crossed his arms, “why not?”

 

 _Because I'm not wearing pants_. “Because I'm watching a movie right now and it's not hard to find. I just put it in Jackson's room next to his plant.”

 

Mark nodded and walked out the door again, but before closing the door he said, “it's really hot in your room guys, I don't get how you can even sleep in here...”

 

Jaebum wrapped his arm around Youngjae again. Youngjae watched the movie. Jaebum thought about the day they would finally have the opportunity to be alone. Really alone. Just a few more days.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be their first time, buuuut I wanted them to have the top/bottom talk and then before I knew it they were giving each other blow jobs. The next chapter will probably be their first time tho! Tell me what you thought about this chapter/the story in general so far~
> 
> random side note: it might be the 3:30 am talking, but I really want to write fic about Jackson and his plant, Bob...and not like weird plant sex or anything, but either just something that is completely non-sexual or where the plant transforms into a hot dude or something...I dunno...I just kinda like Bob. Poor Bob...


	10. Lubey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time is here. Jaebum and Youngjae head over to the hotel Jaebum (actually Jinyoung) had carefully selected so they can finally be alone and take their relationship to a new level.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ it's finally here! The chapter (some of you?) have been waiting for! Thank you for your patience and I'm sorry for the lack of Markjin, but it's all about 2jae in this chapter.

Today was the day. The hotel had been booked, the lube had been bought, and their schedule was free the next day. They wouldn't be able to spend the whole night out without getting questions from the other members, but it wouldn't be too weird for them to stay out until quite late. The “we went to karaoke after dinner and lost track of time”-excuse would probably work.

 

Jaebum had been nervous and a bit tense throughout the day. While he'd mention that they'd have a schedule-free day a few days ago, he wasn't sure what Youngjae was expecting and if his mind was as occupied with the idea of them having sex for the first time as his own was. He felt butterflies whirl around in his stomach every time their arms brushed past each other during dance practice or if their eyes met for a second. Once, Jinyoung poked him in the side and told him to stop looking at Youngjae with a stupid grin on his face. “ _It makes you look like a creepy sexual predator”_ he'd whispered with a shake of his head.

 

After all of their work for the day was over Jaebum overheard Bambam and Yugyeom talking about dinner. Shit. He hadn't thought about how he would brush of the other members in case they wanted to grab dinner together after work. Luckily for Jaebum, Jinyoung had (although Jinyoung himself wondered why he was putting so much effort into getting JB laid. He told himself he just couldn't stand a poorly thought out plan). “Hey Jaebum, Youngjae, I've invited Bambam, Jackson, and Yugyeom to have dinner over at that new barbeque place, do you want to join?” Jinyoung asked, but he followed it with an inaudible “don't” that was meant for JB only.

 

Jaebum looked at Jinyoung confused for a moment before Jinyoung's eyes darted over to Youngjae and back and it clicked, “eh yeah, no. We were actually talking about...another type of food to eat, so...we already had plans to go...some place.”

 

Youngjae raised his eye brows, “we did?”

 

Dammit Youngjae. “Yes, we did. _Remember_? We talked about it a few days ago. In our _bedroom._ ”

 

“Are you sure? Because I don't really reme-”

 

Youngjae was interrupted by a loud sigh accompanied with an eye roll from Jinyoung, “You guys are making me tired. I retract my offer. Just go, go to whatever restaurant Jaebum thinks he talked to you about. Have fun. Bye.” he gently shoved Jaebum and Youngjae in the opposite direction,”Mark are you coming?”

 

“Nah, I have plans with a friend actually. I'll see you guys at home” Mark answered as he started walking away from the rest of the group. Jinyoung wondered what _friend_ Mark had plans with, but pushed the thought to the back of his head as he waved goodbye to Jaebum and Youngjae before leaving with the rest of the group.

 

And so they where left by themselves. “You should lead the way Jaebummie, because I seriously don't remember what restaurant we talked about.”

 

The corners of Jaebum's mouth curdled up into a cheeky smile, “You didn't forget Youngjae. We didn't talk about a restaurant, but I figured we could make work of that other thing we talked about...sex?” he whispered the last word because despite being the only ones left he was afraid someone might overhear. “It would've been harder to get rid of the rest if we went to dinner with them, so-”

 

He stopped talking because Youngjae was suddenly a lot closer, Jaebum nervously looked around to make sure no-one was there to see them, “w-what? We can still get dinner first, actually I made reser-”

 

“Let's go to a hotel.” Youngjae said resolutely, like it was the only logical thing to do right now.

 

Jaebum chuckled and a blush painted his cheeks like it always did when Youngjae talked so straightforward as he just did, “w-what about dinner?”

 

Youngjae got a little closer still, “You can be my dinner.”

 

“Choi Youngjae, you're such a flirt”

 

“Is it working? Because I know a pretty discreet hotel really close by...” Youngjae suggested.

 

“Actually, I know a really nice hotel too” Jaebum countered.

 

“Where is it, because this one I know is really close-by”

 

“It's a little further, but I've heard good things...”

 

“Further means it'll take longer before I can get you naked though.”

 

“I think we should go to my hotel...it's...better.”

 

“You don't even know my hotel!”

 

“We're going to mine.” Jaebum wanted his perfectly thought out hotel to be a surprise so he wasn't about to let Youngjae ruin it. Luckily Youngjae only looked at him funny, but didn't question him further,“Alright fine if you feel this strongly about it...weirdo.”

 

They decided to take a cab and after a short ride arrived at the hotel Jaebum (mostly Jinyoung) had picked out.

 

“I'll go get a room, you wait here. Don't come to the reception desk with me!” In actuality, the room was already prepared beforehand and Jaebum still wanted it to be surprise. He got the key from the reception and when they arrived at the right room he opened the door and took Youngjae's hand to lead him inside. He'd barely switched on the light when he felt Youngjae's hungry lips on his own. JB placed his hands on either side of Youngjae's body and gently pulled him back. He wanted Youngjae to see the room. And he did. His eyes grew about two sizes as he took in the luxurious room they were in.

 

“Wow...this is some room! It's so pretty and big! And look there are strawberries and....rose pedals on the bed?” he turned to look at his boyfriend who was awkwardly staring at the floor. “Im Jaebum, did you plan this?”

 

“Y-yeah...it's a bit lame I know, but...I thought it would be nice, you know.”

 

Youngjae threw his arms around JB's neck and planted a firm kiss on his lips, “That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me!” he bit his lower lip and pressed his lower body against Jaebum's, “fuck, I want you even more now.”

 

“You know,” Jaebum leaned in and gave Youngjae a soft kiss on the left side of his neck, “there's a bubble bath,” a kiss a little lower, “Go in before or after?”

 

“How about during?”

 

“Maybe not the best place for our first time? We could slip or something.”

 

“Yeah, you're right, bath sex is always tricky...”

 

Jaebum turned them around so Youngjae had his back pressed against the wall, “what do you know about bath sex, sunshine?” he asked with a challenging sly smile on his face.

 

Youngjae met the question with a teasing smirk of his own, “maybe I'll show you sometime. Depending on how tonight goes, of course.”

 

The next moment Youngjae almost gasped at the sudden rough kiss JB pressed on his lips. He quickly composed himself and tangled his hands in Jaebum's hair, deepening their kiss. The mood quickly turned from playful to hot and needy with every touch. This was the first time Jaebum was touching Youngjae while knowing he didn't have to worry about how far he could take it. They both wanted the same thing and there were no housemates, pets, or other distractions around to stop it from happening.

 

As their tongues continued to explore each other's mouths Youngjae moved his hands from Jaebum's hair to his waist, he caressed the soft skin of his back before he tugged at his shirt. Jaebum managed to tear his lips away from his boyfriend long enough to pull it off and throw it on the floor. He took Youngjae's hands and started leading them towards the bed in the middle of the room. He couldn't help the shy dorky smile that crept on his face when their eyes met. Jaebum sat down on the edge of the bed and watched as Youngjae let go of his hands and took of his own shirt before he straddled JB's lap and bent down to join their lips again. They both involuntarily moaned when Youngjae moved his hips to rub their, still clothed, crotches together. Jaebum grabbed a hold of Youngjae's round ass and pulled him down again, humming in his mouth at the friction. He left his hands firmly on what was possibly his favorite part of his boyfriend as he started planting kisses on his chest, “You have the best ass, sunshine. I want to squeeze it, and stroke it, and maybe even bite it.”

 

Youngjae laughed, “and fuck it, I hope?”

 

JB felt his cheeks grow warmer, but he answered softly.”well yeah, that too.”

 

Youngjae cupped Jaebum's face and lifted his head so he was staring into his eyes, “I'm not really opposed to the biting either you know.” He brought their faces together for a slow kiss, their tongues lazily intertwining. They sat like this, Youngjae straddled on JB's lap with his hands loosely around his neck and Jaebum with his hands placed on Youngjae's round butt cheeks, before Youngjae broke the kiss and the relevant silence, “do you want to be on top?”

 

Jaebum raised an eyebrow in confusion, “didn't we already talk about that?”

 

Youngjae chuckled, “Yeah, but I mean...just because I bottom doesn't mean I can't be on top.”

 

“Fuck...I hadn't thought about that option...that's hot.”

 

While Jaebum was momentarily lost in thought about all the sexual positions he hadn't considered, before Youngjae had started to undo his boyfriend's belt. Jaebum snapped back into consciousness with a yelp as he was suddenly pushed back onto the bed. Youngjae climbed off and started to take of his own pants.

 

“Wait!” JB jumped up, only then noticing his own pants was already open. His exclamation was met with a confused look. “It's just that...I want to do it. Take your pants off...if that's okay?”

 

Youngjae smirking and raised his hands away from his undone zipper as if to say _be my guest_. JB smirked back and placed his hands on Youngjae's waist. He placed a kiss on his lips, then on his neck, his chest, his stomach. He smoothly pulled Youngjae's pants down, slowly, sinking down on his knees in the process. He pulled them all the way down to the floor and signaled Youngjae to step out of them. He reached his hands back up and placed his thumbs in the waistband of Youngjae's boxers. He pulled them down, again slowly, and let Youngjae step out of them. This definitely wasn't the first time Youngjae had been naked in front of him, but Jaebum felt it was important to remember him as he stood there now. Beautiful. Beautiful and all his. He kissed his way up Youngjae's leg, his stomach, his chest, his neck, and, finally, his lips. He felt Youngjae's hands on his waist, warm. Youngjae followed Jaebum's example and took of the last of his boyfriend's clothes. When he got back up they stood there for a moment, staring in each other's eyes, fingers touching lightly.

 

They moved back onto the bed in silence, their lips meeting on occasion, hands softly caressing warm skin. For a little while it was sweet and soft, innocent almost. No sound except for their kissing. Jaebum was totally forgetting the playlist he had made for this night and he might have remembered if it wasn't for Youngjae who decided to press their crotches together making both of them moan. Their kisses grew more passionate and hungry while their growing erections, who didn't really need _that_ much more stimulation to reach their full lengths, were slowly being rubbed together by the boy on top.

 

“Babe? Did you bring lube and condoms?” Youngjae whispered in JB's ear as he grew steadily more desperate for more.

 

“Ah, shit, yes, but it's in my bag by the door. I'll go ge-” He was already trying to get up when a hand pushed him into the mattress.

 

“You stay here, I'll get it.”

 

Jaebum watched his boyfriend bounce to his bag by the door with butterflies in his stomach. Youngjae practically jumped back on to the bed and climbed back on top of naked JB. Except this time he faced the other way so Jaebum had a nice ass view. “Is it okay if I put the condom on now so we don't have to fumble with it when our hands might be all lubey?”

 

“I don't think _lubey_ is a word, Youngjae.”

 

“Well, I don't know what else to call body parts that have lube on them. Besides that's not important right now. Condom, yes?”

 

Youngjae let out a high yelp of surprise when a hand hit his ass, he looked over his shoulder to meet JB's eyes, who seemed unsure of what he just did, “s-sorry, I just wanted to slap you for being an impatient dork...was that too hard?”

 

“Jaebum, please. Don't be silly. The only reason I yelled was because you took me by surprise.” He ripped open the condom packet, “seeing as I'm an impatient dork, I'm going to put this on you now, okay?”

 

Jaebum nodded but realized Youngjae wasn't facing him, so he added a soft _okay_ and, “but don't we have to...work on you first?” he moaned at the touch of Youngjae unrolling the condom over his lenght.

 

“We do,” Youngjae said as he turned back around so they were face to face again, “but like I said...lubey doesn't make it easier to open up a condom pack.”

 

“It's still not a w-” he was silenced by a finger pressed against his lips, “shhh.”

 

Youngjae took the small bottle of lube and popped the cap open, he reached for JB's right hand and drizzled a royal amount of lube over his fingers, spreading it with his own. He bent over and pressed their lips together for a moment after which he whispered in Jaebum's ear “ _lubey_ ”

 

He went back to pressing their lips together and eagerly sought entrance with his tongue. JB gladly granted it and he felt a hand on his forearm urging him towards Youngjae's ass. He was actually kind of thankful Youngjae had decided to lead him to the right place for his fingers so he didn't had to get lube all over the place with his inexperienced hand and make the whole ass lubey. _Dammit, it's not a word_. Gingerly he started rubbing circles on Youngjae's hole before he gently and slowly started pushing one finger in.

 

“ _Hmm_ _yes, push it in baby_ ” Youngjae whispered in his ear.

 

“A-am I doing it right? Please tell me if I'm going too fast or something.”

 

“You're doing great, I promise. But, actually...you can go a bit faster. If you want.”

 

Jaebum pushed further and started moving his finger in and out at a faster pace. His confidence grew with every moan in his ear and eager kiss on his mouth. He dared adding another finger and, urged on by Youngjae, another. When he felt he was ready Youngjae looked his boyfriend in the eyes, “Jaebum. I'm ready. Are you ready?” in a soft, sweet voice. Jaebum nodded and he gently pulled his fingers out. He could feel the anticipation, nerves, and excitement swirl around in his stomach when Youngjae took the lube again and made sure JB's cock was coated in it. He positioned himself above it and with his eyes locked with JB's started lowering himself down.

 

Jaebum almost stopped breathing at the sensation. It wasn't just the wonderful tight warmth that was slowly surrounding more and more of his cock, but also the fact that it was Youngjae, _his_ Youngjae, who was the one providing that warmth. Despite his best effort to keep his eyes on the beautiful figure on top of him, his eyes closed and his head fell back into the soft pillow when Youngjae finally started moving his hips. _Fuck_. _Damn._ “Y-youngjae, _fuck_ this feels good Youngjae.” He firmly placed his hands on Youngjae's hips, feeling him go up and down.

 

Finally he managed to get used to the pleasure enough to open his eyes and consequently almost stopped breathing again. Youngjae had his eyes closed, his skin was glowing with a thin layer of sweat, his mouth hanging open slightly as he smoothly moved on top of JB. His hands had found JB's on his hips. He must have felt Jaebum's breathless gaze on him because Youngjae lifted his lids and stared back at him. Jaebum felt like his insides were about to explode from all the adoring feelings he felt. But he wanted more, he wanted to be closer. He entangled the fingers of his left hand with Youngjae's right and gave it a slight tug. Youngjae smiled sweetly and bent down, leaning on his right arm, to meet Jaebum's lips. They both smiled into the kiss. Youngjae pulled back, just enough so they could look each other in the eye. Jaebum gently brushed a lock of hair out of the other's face and stroked his cheek before he placed his hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer again.

 

Without breaking their lips apart JB wrapped one arm tightly around Youngjae's waist and started to flip them over. In his head he was going to do this in one smooth motion, but it wasn't as easy as he had thought. He was trying to figure out the logistics of this, what was supposed to be a romantic move, when his clumsy attempt was interrupted by a whisper in his ear, “ _honey...I think it might be easier if we disconnect for a second._ ” Seeing his boyfriend's disgruntled face at the thought of having to break their intimate contact he added, “don't worry, you'll cock be right back where it belongs in no time.”

 

Reluctantly JB nodded and allowed Youngjae to take the lead as he pulled away from Jaebum and lay down with his back on the silky sheets. He moved his arms over the sheets and hummed in approval, “these sheets are the best, it's going to feel so great to grab a fist full of them while you fuck me into the mattress.”

 

Jaebum still hadn't gotten used to the way his sweet Youngjae talked sometimes, but, apart from making him wonder if he should say something dirty back, it turned him on incredibly. So he positioned himself between Youngjae's spread legs, looked at his anticipating face, and started to push back inside. Youngjae bit his lower lip and indeed grabbed a fist full of the sheets when JB started moving. He bent down in search of the heat of Youngjae's mouth. Their tongues found each other again and their stomachs touched. Their bodies seemed to melt together and Jaebum had never felt this close to another person in his life. He wanted to stop time and stay like this forever. In that moment Jaebum knew what the phrase _making love_ really meant.

 

That is, until Youngjae started moaning in his ear to go faster, harder, “Oh yes, fuck me! Im Jaebum!”

Jaebum did as was requested by his lover and intensified his thrusts while showering Youngjae's face, neck and shoulders with sloppy kisses that were met with increasingly louder moans and touches from the other's needy hands. Eventually Youngjae's hands found their way in JB's hair, grabbing it tightly and pulling him ever closer except when he pulled back to moan something. Jaebum almost lost it when the phrase _leader hyung_ passed his boyfriend's lips. Shifting his weight mainly to his right arm JB got his other arm between them so he could wrap a hand around Youngjae's erection. He rested his head against Youngjae's, slightly sweaty, shoulder, moaning and panting as he tried his best to match the movements of his hand with the rhythm of his hips. Youngjae matched JB with movements of his own. Together their breathing and movements became more erratic, JB was barely able to lift his head to look Youngjae in the eye, “I-I'm about to...” “Me too...”

 

Lips pressed together one final time before all they could do was let their breath mingle and feel the wonderful wave of orgasm wash them away to another realm. Nothing else seemed to exist but their two bodies, intertwined with ultimate, intimate pleasure.

 

Jaebum pushed himself up on shaky arms, after taking a few moments to sink back down to reality, and slowly pulled himself out. Both of their stomachs were smeared with Youngjae's cum, but it wasn't something either one of them felt an immediate need to take care of. JB disposed of the condom in the waste bin conveniently placed next to the bed. He lay down on his back next to Youngjae who cuddled up to him. For a few minutes they lay in silence, simply enjoying each other's warmth, until JB spoke, “wow...that was...I'm so gay.”

 

Youngjae chuckled and looked up at him, “considering the fact we just had pretty gay sex I sort of figured that already, hyung.”

 

“No I mean...when I first started liking you I thought I might be bisexual since I'd basically only been with girls before that, but this...the sex we just had? That was something else.” Jaebum hadn't expected the experience to feel so different to his previous sexual encounters and he couldn't quite put his finger on why it was so different, but it was definitely very different. He'd never felt so close to a person or as sexually satisfied as he did right now.

 

“I'm glad you liked it. I did too. A lot.”

 

“It was amazing...and so different from any sex I've had before. Of course it's also different because it's with someone I love, but, damn, I'm very gay.”

 

“You love me?”

 

Jaebum brought his hand to the side of Youngjae's face and softly stroked his cheek, “I do. I really do.”

 

Youngjae smiled a beaming smile and placed a soft kiss on Jaebum's lips, “I love you too.”

 

They spent a little while longer at the hotel. Overly romantic feeding each other strawberries, taking a bath together, just lying in each other's arms. But all good things must end and they eventually decided it was time to head back to the dorm if they wanted to avoid raising suspicion as to what they had been doing. JB had been hoping the dorm would be quiet, maybe even empty, so they could remain in their peaceful bliss a little longer, but it seemed that would just stay wishful thinking. They could already hear several voices talking loudly as they approached the door and were greeted by a somewhat peculiar sight. Jackson was wearing nothing but a towel and had a panicked look on his face while Jinyoung and Mark both looked rather disgruntled. Jaebum wasn't sure if he wanted to know what was happening and he had half a mind to just close the door and make a u-turn back to the hotel, but he followed his leader instinct and went inside.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew, I'm glad they finally had the sex. It was way overdue. You might be able to tell from the ending, but drama is coming D: In the next chapter we'll learn why Jackson is freaking out and who the friend was with whom Mark was meeting up. Stay tuned and in the meantime drop me a comment, very much appreciated ^_~


	11. Protect the virgins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark comes home after meeting with his friend and he learned something he rather hadn't. So does Jackson. So do Bambam and Yugyeom. JB too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this, an update less than 24 hours after the last one instead of 2-3 weeks :o  
> It's a lot shorter though and I wasn't sure where to cut it, but here you go~

After dinner Jackson and Jinyoung had decided to do a light work-out and went to the gym together. When they got back it didn't seem like the rest was home yet. Jinyoung decided to start a new book and read it on the living room couch for a change. Jackson went to take a shower (even after Jinyoung pointed out they already took a shower at the gym. According to Jackson they didn't have the right products for his skin). Jinyoung lost himself in the book for a while before being interrupted by Jackson.

 

“Hey Jinyoung?”

 

Jinyoung looked up from his book to see Jackson, with only a towel around his waist and damp messy hair, walking towards the couch.

 

“Am I hot?” he questioned in such a serious way it was almost funny and before Jinyoung could even roll his eyes he continued, “I mean, like...I know I'm hot to girls, but am I hot to guys?”

 

“Jackson, I really don't want to think about it.” Jinyoung could feel Jackson's need for everyone to like him in these questions and he was glad to see the knowledge of him being gay had in no way made things awkward between them, but he wasn't really in the mood to be Jackson's confidence boost.

 

“It's okay man, I'm totally fine with you finding me attractive!” Jackson continued, still getting closer to Jinyoung, almost shoving his naked torso in his face, “You can touch my abs if you want? It's cool, man.”

 

“Jackson...” Jinyoung tried to sound annoyed but he couldn't help but smile at his friend who was being almost inappropriately supportive of his sexuality.

 

“Come on man, I work hard for these abs. I'm way too busy to date so at least _someone_ should feel them and get something out of it!”

 

Jinyoung didn't get a chance to tell Jackson he wasn't so desperate that he needed to feel up his straight group member to get off, because Mark chose this moment, with Jackson wearing nothing but a towel inches away from Jinyoung's face, to walk through the door.

 

Mark clicked his tongue and shook his head in annoyance, “Can you guys be gay somewhere else please?”

 

Jackson took a step away from the couch and turned to face Mark with his brows furrowed together, “There's nothing wrong with being gay! You can't disrespect Jinyoung like that, Mark!” Jackson said with a stern voice, but immediately covered his mouth after he realized he just outed Jinyoung to Mark. Or at least he thought he did seeing as he didn't know about the night Mark and Jinyoung had shared a not that long ago.

 

“Dammit Jackson, I'm _fine_ with Jinyoung being gay. I'm _not_ fine with Jinyoung sleeping with people, telling them they shouldn't do it again because he's not in a time in his life where he needs a relationship or whatever and then sleeping with someone else!” Mark retorted with a voice that was much louder than his normal volume.

 

“Wow...who are these people?” Jackson asked quietly a bit taken aback by Mark's response, but then he snapped his head in Jinyoung's direction and looked at him in shock “Y-you're not a virgin?” Wait...what about the rest...is everybody not a virgin!? Bambam! Yugyeom? Oh my god where are they? I have to do something!”

 

“How about putting on some pants?” JB's voice spoke from the doorway. Jackson darted towards Jaebum and Youngjae and grabbed JB by the arm, “JB! Jinyoung's not a virgin!”

 

Jaebum didn't get what was going on exactly, but this wasn't really what he wanted to deal with right after the most amazing night of his life so far, “Why do I care?” he sighed.

 

“We have to protect the innocence of this group! Mark's probably a lost cause, but...” he turned his attention to Youngjae who was looking at him with an amused grin, “Youngjae! Please tell me you're a virgin!” He grabbed Youngjae's head with both hands and pulled him to his chest, stroking his hair. “JB we have to protect Youngjae!”

 

Youngjae laughed as he attempted to struggle free from Jackson's grip, “Sorry, that ship sailed a while ago, hyung.”

 

Jackson immediately let go of the younger one's head and he pointed a judging finger to his leader, “Im Jaebum!”

 

“W-what!”

 

“You-

 

“I-I didn't-”

 

“-as our leader should have protected my poor baby!”

 

“Relax hyung” Youngjae, still highly amused by Jackson's freak out, placed a gently hand on his shoulder, “it happened before we even debuted when I was like 15.”

 

“15!?” Jackson and JB shouted in unison, eyes ready to pop out of their sockets. “Anyway,” Youngjae walked to the couch and sank down on it, “are _you_ still a virgin Jackson?”

 

“eeh...”

 

Youngjae clapped his hands in amusement. Jackson cleared his throat and pretended he hadn't turned red, “so, where did Mark and Jinyoung go?”

 

“I think I saw them head to Jinyoung's room. Probably hiding from you and your random talk about virgins.” Jaebum answered as he went to sit next to Youngjae on the couch.

 

“Excuse me, it wasn't _random._ I had just learned that...some people aren't virgins.” he looked at the direction of Jinyoung's room, “I hope everything's okay...Mark seemed a bit upset about something.”

 

“Relax, if he's talking to Jinyoung it'll be alright. He always has great advice for people. Can you please get dressed now?”

 

“Well all right, but I still think we have to try and protect at least Bambam and Yugyeom from s-e-x. We can't _all_ be sexual miscreants”

 

<>

 

When Jaebum and Youngjae returned home during Jackson's virgin freak-out Mark had taken the opportunity of distraction to tell Jinyoung he had something to talk about and they'd retreated to Jinyoung's small bedroom. Totally missing the fact Bambam and Yugyeom were, in fact, home and sitting on the floor next to one of the bed's looking at Bambam's laptop.

 

Jinyoung's heart was beating an unsteady pace and he felt a bit anxious about the vibe that was hanging in his bedroom. Mark was standing across from him and he didn't look happy. If he was angry or sad, Jinyoung wasn't sure. But judging by his little outburst earlier he figured Mark knew something about him and Minhyuk or at least about the fact he was an asshole who got drunk and had sex with someone only a few days after he had hooked-up with Mark.

 

“Do you know how I found out about it, Jinyoung? I had to hear about it from _Minhyuk_.” the hurt was evident in his voice, “He told me because he needed someone to talk to and he thought I knew you best...and he's my friend. And because I'm his friend I had to listen to him talk about how you two had drunken sex in a random hotel...I thought he was _your_ friend too.”

 

“Was he mad I haven't contacted him...” Jinyoung avoided Mark's eyes. He knew it had been a shitty move, but it wasn't like he and Mark were dating.

 

“Actually no, he thought you might be mad at him. He's kind of a mess you know. He's so in love with Shownu it hurts me to see it. He said he only slept with you to forget Shownu for a night and he's wrecked with guilt, but-”

 

“I don't want to talk about it.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“I said I don't want to talk about Minhyuk and I definitely don't want to talk about Shownu.” The mention of that name set something of in Jinyoung. Any guilt he felt was replaced with annoyance and his own feelings of hurt.

 

“Whatever...That's not even the point I want to make right now!” Mark continued.

 

“Then what _is_ your point?” Jinyoung snapped back.

 

In the adjoined room Yugyeom and Bambam stared at each other in disbelieve. Clearly Mark and Jinyoung had no idea they were there. “Maybe we should leave?” Yugyeom whispered.

 

“Are you kidding me? We just find out Jinyoung is doing Minhyuk and you want to leave!?” Bambam whispered back, “plus, I want to know what Mark's point is, shhh”

 

“My point is, that telling me _we_ can't be together or hook up every now and again because you're not “in a place” where you want that and then sleeping with someone else very fast after that...it's a crappy thing to do Jinyoung.”

 

“I didn't mean for you to find out..” That clearly wasn't the best thing to say right now and the pain on Mark's face shot right through him. In the other room Bambam mouthed an inaudible _what the fuck!?_ to an equally shocked Yugyeom.

 

“I mean...look...I just don't think that us messing around was going to do the group any good.”

 

“What about Jaebum and Youngjae? We saw them making out that night and you didn't seem too bothered about it!”

 

 _WHAT.THE.FUCK_ Bambam was barely able to not scream right now about all this new information.

 

“They are not me. They can do what they want, that doesn't mean I have to do the same. It was probably a one time thing anyway.I might sound like a hypocrite right now, but this is how I feel.” He paused for a moment before he added in a disgruntled tone, “Besides. Aren't you hanging out with V lately. Everybody knows he's into all kinds of weird shit.”

 

“No, you can't do that Jinyoung. You can't tell me _we_ can't be together or hook up every now and then and then proceed to act all jealous when I might be hooking up with someone else. It's not fair.”

Jinyoung knew Mark was right, it wasn't fair. But the next thing already slipped out of his mouth, “So you _are_ hooking up with him?”

 

“Jinyoung stop. Stop sending me mixed signals! I see you looking sometimes whenever I'm close with Youngjae and now you're acting all jealous. What am I supposed to think? You don't want to be with me, but no-one else can be either? You know Jinyoung, if you just would have said “no, I don't want to be your boyfriend because I don't feel that way about you” I would have found a way to deal with it. But it's very hard to get over someone who keeps sending these kind of mixed signals!”

 

Jinyoung scoffed, “Tell me Mark, does telling someone you don't want to be boyfriends and it can be just sex, having sex with them, and _then_ telling them you _do_ want to be boyfriends count as sending mixed signals?” he shook his head, “Fuck, I knew I never should have knocked on your door.”

 

“Then why did you, Jinyoung?”

 

“Because I thought we could keep it at just sex, one time. It was supposed to just be sex...but then you had to go and get feelings about it...”

 

“It's not my fault I didn't realize I was in love with you until halfway through the sex!”  
  
“Wow, Jinyoung must be really good in bed...” Bambam whispered to Yugyeom who told him to shush.

 

Mark had enough. Enough of his heart getting ripped out of his chest and into little pieces, “I didn't know you could be this mean Jinyoung. Sleep with whoever you want. Fuck if I care.”

 

Before he exited the room he added, “but do me one favor and talk to Minhyuk to tell him you're an ass so he can stop feeling guilty? Be a good friend to _someone_.”

 

Bambam and Yugyeom had jumped up and tried to make it out of the door before Mark came out of Jinyoung's room, but they were only half successful, having opened the door but failing to go out of it. “Hey Mark hyung! I didn't know you where in Jinyoung's room, because we JUST got home. We just got home and entered the room, just now.”

 

Mark walked passed them and mumbled a _whatever, Bambam._

 

Yugyeom shook his head, “real smooth Bam.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't sleep with someone the person you already slept with is also friends with, kids! I guess Jackson is the only one at this point with absolutely no clue about anything going on between 2jae, lol. Get ready for more drama! Don't think 2jae is safe from drama, NO-ONE IS SAFE!
> 
> see ya'll next chapter~ Comments are much appreciated and keeps me motivated ^_^


	12. The roommate switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark has decided to focus his energy on finding out what's going on between Jaebum and Youngjae instead of on his problems with Jinyoung. And a text message might change things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> W00p, I hope I can keep this pace up! Thank you to everyone who is reading and commenting and leaving kudos!
> 
> edit: lol I totally forgot a chapter title and I forgot to say: the timeline is probably not in line with "real life" with the mention of the Got2day, but I just wanted to use that so...just go with it I guess? lol

Mark had only seen Jaebum and Youngjae kiss that first night, but he was keeping a closer eye on them lately to see what was really going on between them. Maybe he was just curious, maybe he thought it was weird neither one of them had talked to him about it, or maybe he was just trying to distract himself. Things with Jinyoung were strained. In front of the rest of the group and the cameras they pretended like nothing was wrong and they both made sure they were never left in a room by themselves. It was convenient Yugyeom and Bambam were acting increasingly clingy lately so during fanmeets he was busy getting teased or hugged by those two.

 

A few days after his confrontation with Jinyoung Mark had gotten a message from Minhyuk, thanking him for talking with Jinyoung. At least someone was feeling better about this whole mess of a situation. He hadn't told Minhyuk about his own night with Jinyoung, let alone about his feelings for him. He was trying very hard to push those feelings away, cursing himself everytime he caught himself looking at him or thinking about him late at night. So now he was focusing his attention on the mystery of 2jae.

 

From all the observations he'd done he was convinced there was definitely _something_ going on between those two. Jaebum had always looked at Youngjae with a lot of affection, but his gazes seemed different now. Affection mixed with something else...lust maybe? And Mark was sure he caught JB checking out Youngjae's body on more than one occasion. But it wasn't just JB. Youngjae was always sending JB teasing looks and clinging on his arm when he was tired. Then there was that make-out session he'd witnessed. That was definitely a big clue that they were more than just friends these days. The question was if it was a one time thing and, if not, if it was just physical or if they were actually in love or something. Mark frowned at that thought. If they _were_ in love, why hadn't they told anyone. Shouldn't they at least let the people closest to them know?

 

Mark's questions were for a large part answered one night when he woke up in the middle of the night and needed to use the bathroom. Just as he was about to reach for the handle of the bathroom door he stopped because he heard voices and heavy breathing coming from inside. He heard Youngjae's muffled moans followed by JB's voice, “sshh sunshine, I know everybody is sleeping but we have to be quiet.”

 

“Maybe you should kiss me while you fuck me then, to keep me quiet”

 

 _Wow...that's more than I needed to know about their relationship_. Mark thought to himself. But despite feeling extremely uncomfortable listening to his friends' sex sounds he couldn't seem to move. This was valuable information for his 2jae research project after all. Besides, he still wanted to know if they were just fucking or if love was involved with this. Luckily for Mark they seemed to have finished before he could even make up his mind about what to do. He quickly hid around the corner so they wouldn't see him when they came out. They were whispering but Mark strained his ears and could just make out what they were saying.

 

“You know...maybe if we told the members we're dating we didn't have to come up with stupid excuses to be alone all the time and they'd give us some space and we didn't have to have sex in the middle of the night or at hotels all the time...”

 

“Come on Youngjae, we've been over this. It's better if we keep our relationship to ourselves. Let's go back to bed, okay?”

 

“I think I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight...our room is so warm...”

 

“Oh, okay.” Jaebum leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips, “sweet dreams.”

 

Mark waited until he was certain Youngjae was asleep to go to the bathroom and back to his own room. Jackson stirred in his sleep, mumbling something about organic bananas. Mark went over the information he just gained. Youngjae and Jaebum were doing it and were dating, but they didn't want to tell anyone. Or at least Jaebum didn't want to. Mark didn't like this. Youngjae wasn't the type of person who'd want to keep something like this from the others. Mark decided he was going to feel out how Youngjae felt about this. A direct confrontation probably wasn't the best idea, he didn't want Youngjae to feel attacked or to deny the whole thing, but if JB was keeping Youngjae in the relationship closet against his will Mark wanted to know about it.

 

An opportunity to talk to Youngjae was handed to him by the younger one himself a few days later. It was just Youngjae and Mark at the dorm and they were playing video games in the living room together. Mark was contemplating on how to bring up the topic of relationships in a subtle manner when Youngjae did it for him.

 

“Mark hyung...you've dated before right?”

 

Mark felt his opportunity, but he wanted to ease into the topic of Youngjae's own love life, so he answered, “Yeah a bit. Before I came to Korea.” Mark hesitated a moment before he added, “but only with girls though, so it hardly counts for me.” He darted his eyes towards Youngjae to catch his reaction. _Come on Youngjae, this is the perfect time for you to confide in me_. Even though Mark had thought Youngjae was like him from basically the moment they'd met, they'd never actually talked about their sexualities before. Mark was hoping that his own candor bought him some honesty points from Youngjae.

 

“Hmm. I've never dated girls. I knew very early on there wasn't really a point, for me.”

 

Mark paused the game and smiled, “Did we just come out to each other?”

 

Youngjae returned his smile, “I guess so. But to be perfectly honest I knew you were gay almost the moment I met you.”

 

Mark laughed, “I had a feeling about you too, but am I so obviously into dudes?”

 

“I have a _very_ good gaydar. That and you're not as subtle as you think you are when checking someone out. Especially Jinyoung. You stare at his ass like all the time.”

 

Mark's smile fell from his face. No. He didn't want this conversation to turn to Jinyoung. But Youngjae continued.

 

“I get it, he has a really nice ass if you're into round. I'm more into flat ass myself, you know, like Jae-...not like Jinyoung's.” Youngjae cleared his throat and continued, “Anyway...I've noticed you don't look at his ass as much lately and honestly I was starting to wonder if something was going on between you two. Or that something happened?”

 

“Nothing happened. And I'm _not_ staring.” Mark said feeling like the world's biggest hypocrite denying that there was something going on while he was trying to get Youngjae to spill the beans about him and their leader.

 

“Oh...well did something happen with someone else? It's just tha-”

 

“No.” Mark interrupted him. He might be a hypocrite but they were supposed to be talking about Youngjae and Jaebum, not him and Jinyoung. “Can we stop talking about this now?”

 

“Sorry...I didn't mean to pester you. I just want you to be happy you know...and you seem a bit sad lately and I thought maybe...”

 

“It's okay Jae...and thanks...” Mark felt grateful and he knew Youngjae would be understanding if he did tell him, but, even after everything, he didn't want to change the way Youngjae might see Jinyoung. And he definitely didn't want any pity, but it wouldn't hurt to have at least _someone_ know he was going through something. So he added, “and...actually something did happen a while ago, but I really don't want to talk about it, okay?” Seeing Youngjae's concerned face he put a gentle hand on Youngjae's knee, “I'm all right.”

 

Youngjae gave him a reassuring nod and sighed,“I'm here anytime you do want to talk about it. It's not my place to tell you to talk about your love life anyway. It's not like I can talk about mine...” he added the last part in a mumble, barely loud enough for Mark to hear.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Oh eeh, nothing, I just mean I have no love life.” He let out a laugh that sounded fake and sad to Mark's ears. “Continue the game?” Youngjae suggested voice filled with his usual cheeriness. Mark hit the unpause button.

 

Mark didn't press him further, but it wasn't long after that, that he suggested a switch in roommates.

He managed to convince the others without making it sound like he just wanted to split up JB and Youngjae. He didn't want to _break_ them up, but he was convinced it was better for Youngjae to get some space and maybe he'd finally talk to Mark about his problems now that they were roommates (it took some convincing to get Jackson on board the whole room switch, but when he realized JB would be his new roommate he turned around and got way too excited for JB's liking).

 

Mark could tell Jaebum wasn't too happy with the switch, but, truthfully, he couldn't care less at this point. He was sick and tired of them hiding their relationship and more so of the strain he could tell it was putting on the co-parent of his dog. He figured if JB wanted to continue rooming with Youngjae so much he should honestly tell the group why. But seeing as he didn't the change in roommates happened and Coco's parents were now roommates.

 

<>

 

Youngjae had to admit he didn't mind the change in roommates as much as he had thought he would have at first. If he was being completely honest the room temperature was a lot more bearable and sharing a room with Mark was a lot of fun. They didn't always talk much, but it was nice sharing a room with someone he could watch a movie with without having it turn into a sexy session of sneaking around. He did miss JB's arms around him at night sometimes, but, at least to Youngjae, it made the time they did spend together all the more precious and that in return made the whole secrecy thing easier to deal with. He wasn't sure his boyfriend felt the same way though.

 

They'd left a bit earlier than the rest to “pick up some post-dance training snacks” which wasn't a total lie, but mostly it gave them some time alone. They sat in their training room on the couch in the corner, Youngjae with his arms around JB's waist, JB with an arm around the other's shoulder.

 

“Did you see my message in Got2day?” Jaebum asked, “I said I miss you...”

 

Youngjae lifted his head and placed a chaste kiss on JB's lips, “I haven't seen it yet, but it sounds very sweet. I'll have to check it out when I get home.”

 

Jaebum smiled at him and raised his other hand to softly stroke his cheek, “I watched yours with Mark...you sure were _enjoying_ those popsicles.”

 

“Haha, yeah, we were trying to see who could make a pencil faster.”

 

Jaebum clicked his tongue and averted his eyes and a slight smirk appeared on Youngjae's face.

 

“Honey? Are you jealous of a popsicle?”

 

“N-no! It's just...I miss you at night. I miss...”

 

“My superb blow job skills? Want me to use them now?”

 

“Youngjae! We're in the training room, the others are going to be here in like ten minutes!” His face had gone completely red.

 

“Is that a challenge?” Youngjae leaned over, causing JB to fall back onto the couch.

 

“W-what? No!” He continued to stammer.

 

“All right, fine.” Youngjae backed off. “I won't give you a super awesome blow job then.”

 

“...”

 

It was silent for a moment, before JB uttered, “Dammit, Youngjae I can't dance with a boner!”

 

“Hm?” Youngjae pretended not to hear him.

 

“Youngjae, please...”

 

“Change your mind, did you?”

 

JB didn't have to answer because Youngjae had his tongue down his throat and a hand down his pants in no-time. He pulled back and smirked at him, “yes?”

 

Jaebum moaned in response and nodded, a bit more eager than he had intended.

 

Seeing as they were pressed for time Youngjae didn't waste any. He skipped all of his usual teasing and went straight to work after getting on his knees between JB's legs and pulling his pants down far enough for his erection to pop out. Youngjae made quick work of him, twirling his tongue firmly over the head before taking him in all in at once. Jaebum grabbed him by the hair, but left Youngjae in full control. He was leaning back against the back of the couch so he had a good view of his boyfriend's beautiful lips glistening with spit and pre-cum as they wrapped around his dick perfectly. It had been too long (it hadn't really been _that_ long, but being horny made it seem like an eternity). It was when Youngjae pulled back almost fully and locked his eyes with JB's fixated gaze before going back with full force, bobbing his head faster and rougher, that he lost it.

 

Youngjae felt Jaebum's warm release hit the back of his throat. He swallowed all of him and made sure he cleaned him up good with his tongue. He couldn't have his boyfriend have dance practice with dubious stains on his pants. They finished not a moment too soon, because JB had barely put his pants back on when the door opened and the others started pouring in.

 

That evening they were all tired from a day filled with dance practice and everybody had decided to order take-out and stay in for the night. Mark and Youngjae sat next to each other on the couch. Mark's leg was wrapped over Youngjae's knee and he laughed when he faked feeding a piece of chicken to him but ended up eating it himself instead.

 

Jinyoung looked at Mark and Youngjae sitting so close to each other on the couch. Enjoying their food and now looking at Youngjae's phone together and laughing about something. Mark's hand casually wrapped around Youngjae's shoulder as he leaned in for a selfie. It bothered Jinyoung. The change in roommates bothered him as well. And it bothered him that it bothered him. Mark and Youngjae were close, maybe even closer since becoming roommates, but they were just friends. Youngjae was with JB. Mark might not know about that though, but Jinyoung was fairly certain Youngjae wouldn't do anything to hurt him. Besides Jinyoung had no reason to get jealous. He was the one who had told Mark he didn't have feelings for him, right? He broke from his thoughts when JB nudged him in the side, “Can I talk to you?”

 

They walked into the empty kitchen, pretending to get drinks for everyone.

 

“What was that?” Jaebum asked.

 

“What?”

 

“The way you were staring at Youngjae and Mark? I mean...I know why _I_ was staring and...maybe feeling a hint of jealousy, but why were you? Is something going on with you and Mark?”

 

“Not really...”

 

JB raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, “Not really? What does that mean?”

 

Jinyoung didn't answer, he wasn't sure what the answer was anyway. He felt his friend place a soft hand on his arm and he looked him in the eye, “Jinyoung? Did something happen between you and Mark?”

 

“There's nothing going on now so please just drop it, okay?”

 

“Jinyoung...”

 

“I'm fine, he's...fine.” _I think_.

 

Jaebum gave a small understanding nod in response, “Okay. I'll drop it, but...please be careful Jinyoung. I don't want either of you getting hurt.”

 

 _A little late for that_. Jinyoung thought bitterly although he wasn't sure whether he was talking about himself or Mark.

 

They stopped talking when someone else entered the kitchen. It was Youngjae. “Time to feed Coco” he explained as he walked to the kitchen cabinet with Coco's food in it. Jinyoung and Jaebum went back to the living room Jinyoung carrying a tray with the drinks they said they were getting.

 

Jackson immediately approached them with a phone in his hand, JB's phone. “Hey JB, I didn't mean to look at your phone, but you just got a text and I thought it was my phone for a sec. We have the same message tone, isn't that cute! Anyway...why is B.A.P.'s Youngjae asking you if you ever think about him while you're having sex with _Choi_ Youngjae? Followed by a smiley with a raised eyebrow?”

 

JB froze. _That idiot_. He'd only talked to _that_ Youngjae about _his_ Youngjae once after the night he'd called him to ask for advice. He kept asking him questions about how JB was finally enjoying the benefits of gay love making (Youngjae was very pleased to finally win that bet he had going with himself that JB was super gay) and JB had responded that he was an idiot and that he'd only talk to Jinyoung from now on. He also told him to not tell anyone about this.

 

“eeeh...it's just a hypothetical question. He's weird. He's crazy. Probably drunk. Ignore him. Forever.” He yanked his phone out of Jackson's hand who looked like he was thinking really hard about something.

 

“But you know...I guess it's not _that_ weird...I mean...you know both Youngjaes really well, so if you _were_ to have sex with one of them wouldn't it be possible to, accidentally, think about the _other_ Youngjae at some point. Although I have to say it _is_ weird that he's thinking about that.” Jackson gasped. “unless...” JB's heart was pounding in his chest, “he has a crush on you! Oh my god, do you think that's it? If he does are you interested, do you even like dudes? Do you want to date Youngjae?”

 

Jinyoung felt it was best to intervene at this point, “Jackson, don't you think you're overreacting? And asking a lot of personal questions at that. It was probably just a joke.”

 

“Besides,” Jaebum added, “I wouldn't date Youngjae, haha. Neither one of them!”

 

Mark rolled his eyes.

 

Jackson gasped again and hurried over to Youngjae in the kitchen and dragged him out wrapping his arms around him, “I would totally date you Youngjae! If I was into otters.” Jackson said and he ruffled Youngjae's hair.

 

Youngjae laughed despite having no clue of what was going on. But when Mark later told him what that had all been about he'd seen the look on Youngjae's face. He didn't laugh. He looked hurt and confused and his only response was a soft _oh_. They went to bed after that. But Youngjae spent most of the night staring at the ceiling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear...the next chapter will be a rough one...but also some light smut...sort of?


	13. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After JB received a message from the other Youngjae revealing he knows about 2jae, GOT7's Youngjae decides to give B.A.P.'s Youngjae a call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another chapter...chapter 13...that can't be good

“Hello?” The person on the other end of the line said, wondering who the unknown number belonged to, hoping it wasn't some crazy fan. Although...that might be interesting.

 

“H-hi, Youngjae? It's...Youngjae. Ehm...GOT7.”

 

“Heeey! Don't you mean _Jaebum_ 's Youngjae?” the other Youngjae asked happily, missing the gloom in the other one's voice.

 

“About that...” Youngjae hesitantly started saying.

 

“Oh don't worry, I haven't told anyone else just like Jaebum asked! The other Youngjae replied, thinking he was being comforting.

 

“It's just...that message you sent him yesterday?” Youngjae had trouble finding the words to ask what he really wanted to know.

 

“Oh shit, I'm sorry! It was supposed to be funny, I'm sorry if it bothered you! He's just so easy to tease when it comes to relationship stuff. Especially now that he's with you and he gets all shy and shit.”

 

“I was just wondering how...” Youngjae paused to ask the question he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to, “How did you find out about us?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean...did you like..find out by accident or..did someone tell you or something?”

 

“You mean like if I or someone else saw you two make-out backstage of a music show or something? Nah, don't worry! Jaebum told me.”

 

There it was.

 

“He probably hasn't told you this because he's embarrassed or something about being such a dumb-ass, but he called me asking for advice on how to kiss you. At first I thought he wasn't sure if he wanted to kiss you because you're a man and all, but he was just nervous because he likes you so much. He's such a sap, am I right?”

 

“yeah...” Youngjae managed to reply, letting the rest of the words wash over him.

 

“I tried to ask him how things were going with you two a while back, but he told me to mind my own business and that he'd go back to asking Jinyoung for advice. Can you believe that? Like Jinyoung is a love expert or something, ha!”

 

“...Jinyoung?”

 

The other Youngjae picked up on Youngjae's toneless voice this time, seemingly void of emotion.“Hey Youngjae, is...everything alright?”

 

“Yeah...thanks. I'm sorry to have bothered you. Thank you.” Youngjae hung up the phone and stared at it for a while. His mind felt hazy. He took a deep breath and got up.

 

<>

 

Jinyoung wasn't one to keep up with gossip and paparazzi websites too much, but it had become a painful habit he couldn't seem to break to search a certain name. The frequency of his searches had decreased over time and it had already been a few months since he last searched his name. He wished he hadn't typed in ' _Monsta X Shownu'_ in the search bar of a celebrity news and rumors site. Because there it was, there they were. Spotted together two days ago. Having dinner together with what seemed to be quite an intimate conversation. Mark's arm on Shownu's arm. Leaving together in a cab. No news on where they went after that. The article mentioned Shownu's history as a JYP trainee and how delightful it was their friendship still remained. _Bullshit_ Jinyoung thought to himself. Mark never talked to Shownu. They hung out a bit way back when, but that was it. Why would they hang out now? And where did they go after dinner? The article said two days ago. What time did Mark come home that night? Did he even come home? Jinyoung didn't like this.

 

He looked up from his phone at the sound of his bedroom door opening and closing and found Youngjae staring at him, looking like he was barely able to stop himself from breaking apart. The distressed look on his face made Jinyoung forget about Mark and Shownu and he had his full attention focused on his friend.

 

“Youngjae? What's wro-” Jinyoung started, yesterday's message from the other Youngjae came to mind. He was immediately cut of by Youngjae.

 

“How much do you know?” Youngjae was barely able to keep his voice steady as he tried his best to come across as in control.

 

“What are you talking about?” Jinyoung asked calmly, but not uncaring, as he stood up from his bed.

 

“How much has he told you?” He didn't manage to fully control his voice this time.

 

“Youngjae, please. You look upset please sit.” Jinyoung put his hand on Youngjae's shoulder.

 

“I don't want to sit!” Youngjae raised his voice and slapped Jinyoung's hand away, “Tell me how much you know about me and Jaebum! I know he's talked to you about it!”

 

“Youngjae, please calm down.” In the time that they'd known each other Jinyoung had never seen Youngjae this upset about anything.

 

“How much!”

 

“Okay, all right. I'll tell you, please sit first.”

 

Reluctantly Youngjae sat down on the bed, trying to keep himself somewhat calm. Jinyoung sat down next to him, their knees touching. Jinyoung took a breath started explaining, “He first came to me when you had asked him to kiss you. After that he...” Jinyoung wasn't sure how much he should tell Youngjae. After all, he made a promise to his best friend. But Youngjae was his friend too and guilt shot through him seeing him like this, he needed to be honest now, “He came to talk to me about your relationship on multiple occasions. He was feeling insecure about certain things and wanted to know what I thought.”

 

“What kind of things?”

 

“Just...relationship things...sex.”

 

“And you knew it was me he was talking about?”

 

“I did.”

 

“Why didn't you ever talk to _me_?” Youngjae's eyes were wet, but he managed to keep his tears from falling.

 

“Jaebum...he didn't want you to know how he struggled with the fact that everything in this relationship was basically new to him. At least, I think that's how it felt for him. The being in love, the sex, the...”

 

“Sneaking around?” Youngjae added with a huff. He shook his head in disbelieve. He made sure to look Jinyoung in the eye for his next question, “Why didn't I know that you knew we were dating?”

 

Jinyoung looked back into Youngjae's eyes. He wasn't going to lie about this, he didn't want to,“Jaebum asked me not to tell you that I knew. He thought it would be better.”

 

“I see.” Youngjae stood up and handed Jinyoung one of the books he kept on his nightstand. “Thank you for your time and I'm sorry to have bothered you. Maybe you should start reading your books before you don't have time because JB wants to talk to you about our relationship again.”

 

“Youngjae! Please don't be mad!” Jinyoung tried to get him to stay, to talk about this. He'd kept quiet because he thought he was helping his friend, not thinking about how he was hurting another friend in the process. But Youngjae didn't stay. He walked into the living room where JB was sitting on the couch, drinking strawberry milk. Probably waiting for his boyfriend to join him.

 

“Hey sunshine, is Jinyoung there? Mark's in his room and I just got a message from Jackson he and the others will be home soon and I thought we could all hang out...together,” he stopped talking when he saw the look on his boyfriend's face. It was a look he'd never seen before and that gave him an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. Empty.

 

Youngjae didn't yell, he didn't cry. He looked down on the man he'd felt so close to only yesterday. “I don't think we should be together anymore.”

 

Jaebum's heart stopped in his chest. Were his ears playing tricks on him? “...w-what?”

 

“I'm breaking up with you. I'm done.” Youngjae couldn't stand to look at him. He didn't want a confrontation. Right now he just wanted JB to leave him alone. So he didn't wait for a response and turned around and walked towards his room.

 

“Youngjae, what!? Let's talk, please. What's gotten into you?” JB leaped up from the couch and grabbed Youngjae's wrist, but the other immediately wiggled free.

 

“Why don't you go talk to Jinyoung or the other Youngjae for all I care.” It was the last thing he said before slamming the bedroom door shut, leaving Jaebum alone in the living room.

 

He stood there, motionless. frozen. Unable to grasp what had just happened. Staring at the bedroom door Youngjae had disappeared behind. He stood there until Jinyoung took him by the arm and lead him to his own bedroom. If his mind wasn't going a hundred miles an hour trying to catch up with reality he'd feel grateful that Jinyoung led him away from the chaos that was Bambam, Yugyeom, and Jackson coming home.

 

Jinyoung sat them down on the bed. He had overheard enough of what transpired in the living room so there was no need to ask. He went back into the living room to tell the others he and Jaebum were doing something in his room and he told them Mark and Youngjae were watching a movie. He wanted to make sure they'd be left alone tonight. He wasn't sure what either of them needed right now, but he was sure it wasn't a lot of questions and attention. He returned and found JB exactly like he'd left him. Sitting on the bed, staring at his hands on his lap. Jinyoung sat down next to him and waited for him to speak.

 

“Idiot...” Jaebum mumbled to himself, “Idiot for ever trusting that guy to keep a secret, idiot for leaving my phone in the living room, idiot for letting us switch roommates, idiot, idiot, idiot.” He smacked himself on the forehead and frantically ran his hands through his hair trying to fight back the tears that would inevitably fall.

 

“Jaebum, I know you don't want to hear this right now, but you can't blame Yoo Youngjae for this. I don't think Youngjae's upset that he knew, I think he's upset that Youngjae himself didn't knew that other people know about you two.” He hesitated for a moment before he continued, “He...he also came to talk to me.”

 

Jaebum's head jerked up at this, “What did you tell him?”

 

“Only the truth about how you didn't want him to know we talked about certain things because you had insecurities and needed someone to talk to and...that you asked me not to let him know that I knew about your relationship...”

 

“Well, that's just great Jinyoung!” he launched up from the bed and started pacing on the little bit of floor that Jinyoung's bedroom had to offer.

 

“JB, I know you're upset right now, but you cannot blame this one on me! _You're_ the one who asked that of me. _You're_ the one who wanted to keep things from your boyfriend. That's not on me! In fact, I told you it wasn't a good idea!”

 

“Whatever, some friend you are.”

 

“Again, I'm going to assume you're only talking like this to me because you are upset, but remember that I've been a pretty damn good friend to you! And because I'm your friend I'm going to tell you that things will be okay. Youngjae just needs some space right now. And after you've given him space, you're going to talk to him and you'll work things out. Okay?”

 

Jaebum's anger melted away and left nothing but devastation and confusion, he wiped away some of the tears that had been running down his face and looked at his friend, “But what if we don't?”

 

“You will. I know it. Just...try to give him some space first. Go to bed and see how things are in the morning. Do you want to sleep in here tonight? I can sleep on the couch.”

 

“No...that's okay. I'll just sleep in my own bed, it's fine. I'll hang out here until the rest has gone to bed though...if that's okay.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“I'm sorry I yelled at you.”

 

“I know.”

 

<>

 

Mark almost dropped his phone when Youngjae suddenly yanked their bedroom door open and slammed it shut right after. Mark took his headphones of and looked at his roommate in confusion. He got up from the bed and looked at Youngjae's upset face. He walked closer. He softly stroked Youngjae's left cheek with the back of his hand as if to ask if he was okay. But Youngjae wasn't okay. He didn't want to feel like this. He wanted to forget the pain and the hurt and the person who was responsible. He wanted to erase the memory of his lips, his hands, his smell. Everything. He wanted to drown in someone else. He looked up and his eyes connected with Mark's. For a moment they stood there, both aware of the tension that was building between them. Youngjae leaned in, slowly. It almost felt like they were moving in slow motion when their lips met and Mark answered Youngjae's lips with movement of his own. Their lips parted and the moment their tongues touched the slow motion turned super sonic as they stumbled towards Mark's bed.

 

Youngjae desperately tugged on Mark's shirt and yanked it over his head between sloppy kisses. He pushed Mark down onto the bed, pulled his own shirt over his head and straddled Mark's thighs. Youngjae placed a wet kiss on Mark's lips and eagerly slipped his tongue back inside. Together they moved further down on the bed, Youngjae on top of Mark, kissing him with such vigor it almost seemed like he wanted to prevent either one of them to have a moment to come to their senses.

 

But Mark sense returned to him when he felt a wetness dripping on his face. He softly placed a hand on Youngjae's chest and pushed him away to look up at the tears that were running down his face. Mark placed both of his hands on the side of Youngjae's face and softly stroked his cheeks with his thumbs. “Hey, what's wrong” he whispered.

 

Youngjae's eyes met Mark's and he completely broke down. His arms were no longer able to support him and he allowed himself to sink down with his face buried in Mark's bare chest. Mark's arms wrapped around him, creating a safe space for him to let his tears flow. Youngjae didn't want to ugly cry on his friend, but everything was coming out at once. He was crying so hard he had trouble breathing. Mark held him tighter and told him it was going to be okay, he softly stroked his hair. Youngjae's breathing steadied somewhat and after a few minutes he was only crying and sniffing softly.

They continued to lie on Mark's bed, Youngjae's head resting on Mark's chest, Mark's arms around him.

 

“I broke up with Jaebum...” Youngjae's raspy voice broke the silence, “I...I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but me and Jaebum...”

 

Mark gently stroked Youngjae's hair, “Shh, it's okay. I know”

 

“I thought like maybe you did, but...I promised him I wouldn't talk to anyone about it.” An involuntarily sob escaped Youngjae and he added, “I love him so damn much, but I just...couldn't anymore...keeping it a secret was so hard and he...he didn't...” He couldn't continue talking without crying again so he didn't. He just allowed himself to feel safe in Mark's embrace. He closed his eyes and just focused on the sound of Mark's heartbeat and the soothing heat from his body.

 

They lay like that until they fell asleep and Youngjae was still wrapped in Mark's arms when they woke up the next morning. It was the sound of their bedroom door being slammed shut and the following sound of something breaking what woke them up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o  
> I've been wanting to write this Markjae bit for weeks (maybe months?). I have a secret soft spot for Markjae (my friend tells me it's a sin, but what can I do?).
> 
> The question is, who saw Mark and Youngjae cuddled up and half-naked!? 
> 
> How are you feeling about all the drama that's going on? I'm sorry (not really, I secretly love writing drama).


	14. What a mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after Youngjae told Jaebum he was breaking up with him and found comfort in Mark's arms. Everything blows up after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: "This chapter probably isn't going to be very long"  
> Also me: *writes 4500+ words*

Jaebum had thought about what Jinyoung had said to him last night. About Youngjae maybe needing space. He wanted to listen, he wanted to give Youngjae what he needed right now so that they could fix this. He had to fix this. But the hours they had been apart already felt like an eternity to. Besides, just because Jinyoung said Youngjae needed space didn't make it true. Maybe Youngjae didn't want space. Maybe what was needed was for JB to go talk to him. That's what he told himself when he stood in front of Mark and Youngjae's door that morning. It was still early and usually he wouldn't expect either of them to be awake already, but he was thinking (hoping) that Youngjae had been lying awake just like he had. Waiting for him to come to him. He was hoping Mark was still asleep so he could just ask Youngjae to go and talk somewhere alone.

 

At first he only noticed that Youngjae's bed was empty, not slept in. Panic wrapped around his heart before he looked over at Mark's bed thinking that he'd ask him if he knew where Youngjae was. It was as if someone punched him in the stomach, sucked out all of the air in his lungs and smacked him across the face all at once. Youngjae was sleeping soundly on top of Mark's bare chest with Mark's arms wrapped around his naked torso. Jaebum's vision went blurry and for a moment he stood nailed to the floor. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. Not even 24 hours ago he'd been happy. Youngjae had been his. His to hold, to kiss, to feel loved by.

 

Youngjae stirred in his sleep a little, adjusting the position of his head. Mark's arm lifted and he softly stroked Youngjae's hair. JB couldn't handle being in this room, he had to get out. So he turned around, slamming the door shut behind him with a loud bang. He couldn't think, his mind was clouded with a whirl of emotions. He could barely comprehend what he just saw. He didn't know if he was feeling sad, hurt, angry, all of those things? It felt like a whole new emotion that embodied every negative emotion he could imagine existing. And he felt frustrated. Frustrated with his own inability to deal with this situation. In his frustration and rage he grabbed the first thing he could find, a glass still on the coffee table from last night, and slammed it on the floor.

 

Last night Jinyoung had done his best to comfort his best friend until he went back to his own bedroom. Jinyoung doubted JB would get much sleep in the state he was in. Jinyoung didn't get much sleep himself. His mind was too preoccupied with everything that was going on. Not just what was happening with Youngjae and Jaebum and the part Jinyoung himself had played in that drama. His mind seemed to find it necessary to keep bringing up images of Mark and Shownu together. Talking, whispering, hands on arms. He spent most of the night tossing and turning, plagued by dreams he didn't want to have about people, and the feelings they brought with them, who he didn't want to think about. He woke up way before his alarm was set to go off, but seeing as he wasn't expecting to get anymore rest he decided to get up. He was in the kitchen getting a cup of coffee when he heard a loud slam and the sound of glass breaking. He hurried back to the living room to see a red-faced Jaebum, breathing heavily and with a look on his face like he was ready to trash the entire living room.

 

“Wow, wow. I don't know what's going on, but maybe you can stop breaking things?” Jinyoung said as he approached a seething JB who snapped his head in Jinyoung's direction.

 

“What do you expect me to do! How do you expect me to react to the sight of your fuck buddy, or whatever the hell he is, half-naked in bed with my boyfriend!?” Jaebum shouted loud enough to wake up half the neighborhood.

 

Jinyoung's eyes darted to Mark and Youngjae's bedroom just as it opened and Mark stepped out, his hair messy, a t-shirt in his hand. “I'm right here you know.” he said, his voice sharp as a dagger dipped in annoyance. He slipped the t-shirt over his head and added, “And are you sure you want to be yelling like that? I thought you wanted to keep your relationship a dirty little secret?”

 

Jaebum launched forward and, before Jinyoung could intervene, grabbed Mark by his shirt and slammed him against the wall.“You have no idea what you're talking about, so I suggest you shut your mouth before I shut it for you.” JB whispered dangerously close to Mark's face.

 

But when Jaebum added “what did you and Youngjae do together?” Mark ran out of any patience or sympathy he still had for JB at this point. He roughly pushed him away and started yelling back at him, “Jaebum, shut the fuck up! Seriously! You want to know what happened? I'll tell you what the fuck happened since you seem to be too oblivious to notice anything yourself! Youngjae came to our room yesterday looking and feeling completely broken. You should have seen him JB! When he finally broke down and started crying he was crying so hard he was gasping for air, he could barely breath. And it's because of you, don't you get that!?”

 

Jaebum fell silent for a moment. Somehow this wasn't the response he had been expecting. When he opened his mouth he asked about the worst question he could ask at this point, “So why weren't you wearing any clothes?”

 

Mark looked close to exploding at this point, “Seriously!? I tell you that Youngjae is a complete mess because of _you_ , the person who was supposed to love him, and all you care about is that!? Why don't you focus on what _you_ did wrong, instead of how Youngjae might have tried to momentarily forget the pain that _you_ caused him!” he walked closer to JB and added in a whisper, “One more thing. If you're so desperate to keep your relationship a secret, maybe you shouldn't make out with your door open or fuck in the bathroom when you think the rest of us are sleeping.”

 

 

Jinyoung knew that Jaebum had made mistakes, but he hardly thought it was fair to go off on him like this. So he stepped in, meaning to only stick up for his friend, “Why don't you leave your nose out of other people's business, Mark?” he said as he stepped forward.

 

Mark stepped away from Jaebum and turned to face Jinyoung,“Excuse me?”

 

“What gives you the right to yell at him like that! You're the one in bed with his boyfriend!”

 

Mark let out a mocking laugh,“Oh excuse me, are we allowed to say the b-word out loud now? And how do _you_ know so much about this? Didn't you tell me that one time we saw them kissing was probably the extent of it?”

 

“Whatever Mark, you're such a fucking hypocrite!" Jinyoung could feel himself slipping away from the topic of Youngjae and Jaebum. He could feel he should probably stop himself from saying anything else at this point, but he didn't, “You get all upset about me and Minhyuk, but it's somehow fine for you to be naked in bed with Youngjae two seconds after he broke up with Jaebum!? You say you have feelings for me, but you have no problem offering yourself to a pair of teary eyes. How dare you be mad at me for who I do or do not sleep with. We're not even in a relationship! Not only that, but after getting me in bed you fuck around with V, Shownu, and now this! You're just a delusional slut who has convinced himself he gets to feel hurt when one of his hook ups doesn't return his feelings after he lured him into his bed under false pretenses! If you can't handle one night stands keep it in your pants and don't blame the other person!”

 

Jinyoung was horrified by the words that continued to fall from his mouth. Nothing he said was justified and everything was spiteful and most of it probably not even true. With every word Mark seemed to become smaller and Jinyoung was sure he would disappear completely and forever if he kept going. But he didn't get a chance to continue.

 

Mark had just stood there, rendered completely numb by Jinyoung's outburst, until he felt a hand wrap around his wrist, pulling him away. In a haze he managed to move his feet to follow the person who was rescuing him from drowning. He somehow managed to get his feet in his step-in sneakers by the door before being pulled out the door. A cap was placed on his head and they walked. Mark didn't ask where they were going. He simply allowed himself to be pulled along, the hand still gently wrapped around his wrist. They stopped at a small cafe and went inside. “I'll order us something to drink, why don't you go and sit down in one of those booths at the back?” Mark nodded in reply and went to sit down. After a few minutes a fancy looking coffee drink was placed in front of him and Youngjae sat down at the other side of the table.

 

<>

 

It was deadly silent in the moments after Youngjae had dragged Mark away from Jinyoung and Jaebum. Jinyoung felt like he was underwater. He hadn't noticed when Jackson, Bambam, and Yugyeom had entered the living room. Undoubtedly all the yelling had woken them up. Everybody was staring at him. They'd never seen him like this. He'd gotten angry before, but not like this. Jaebum cautiously approached him and reached a hand out to him, “Jinyoung...”

 

“Shut up, I don't want to hear it! Just leave me the fuck alone!” Jinyoung snapped. He stormed to his bedroom, pushing Jackson, Bambam, and Yugyeom out of the way in the process. He slammed the door shut and sat down on his bed. His hands were shaking. He was angry, confused and completely lost. His head sank down in his hands. The door opened quietly. Jinyoung didn't have the energy to shout anymore. He didn't even have the energy to look up to see who had come in. He felt the bed dip with the weight of the other person sitting down next to him. He felt Yugyeom's shoulder against his own. Yugyeom didn't say anything. He just wrapped his arm around Jinyoung's shoulder and they sat on Jinyoung's bed as Jinyoung silently let his tears flow.

 

<>

 

They both sipped on their drinks, staring at the table, before Youngjae finally looked up and broke the silence, “Mark?” Mark also looked up and met Youngjae's eyes, “I'm really sorry about last night...I shouldn't have tried to use you like that to make me feel better...I-”

 

“I'm sorry too.” Mark gently interrupted, “I should have noticed how upset you were the moment you slammed that door shut.” he averted his eyes and played with the straw in his drink, “or maybe I did notice but chose to ignore it...I don't know...” Mark looked back up to meet his friend's eyes, “I was just done seeing you in pain...I've noticed you weren't totally happy for a while now, but I wasn't sure what to do about it...and...I'm sorry I didn't just try to talk to you like a normal person would do.” he let himself fall back against the back of the seating.

 

Youngjae also leaned back against his chair and sighed, “it's okay...I'm not mad at you for not talking to me. It's not like I told you what was going on with me and Jaebum. How can I expect you to talk to me about something you weren't even supposed to know...” he smiled at his roommate before his expression turned sad again, “I can't believe JB...all this time he told me he thought it would be best for our relationship to keep it between us. He didn't even want to tell you guys...”  
  


“What did he even say when you confronted him with it?”

 

Youngjae shuffled in his seat, “He...I didn't really...”

 

Mark raised one eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

  
“Well...I called up the other Youngjae to find out how he knew about us. It turned out Jaebum had asked him for some kissing advice on how to kiss me...which is kind of adorable I guess” a weak smile briefly swept across Youngjae's face before falling back in to sad, “But he also told him not to speak to anyone about it and that he would go back to asking Jinyoung for advice!”

 

Mark sat up straight at the mention of Jinyoung's name, “You mean he's been talking to Jinyoung about you two all this time?”

 

“Well, that's what I wanted to know! So I went to Jinyoung and asked...he told me everything. At least, I hope that was everything...After that...I just felt so betrayed and hurt and...broken...in that moment I didn't want to be with Jaebum anymore...I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to listen to what he might have to say...I just...wanted to disappear.” Youngjae took a deep breath thinking back to last night. “So I walked over to him and told him it was over. And that's when I came into the bedroom and tried to have inappropriate sex with my roommate and one of my best friends.”

 

“Who almost went with it...” they looked at each other with joyless smiles, “what a mess...”

 

They sat in silence again, sipping the last bit of their drinks. Again it was Youngjae who first broke the silence.

 

“Mark? Are you okay? What exactly happened with you and Jinyoung?”

 

Now it was Mark's turn to take a deep breath, “well...after some back-and-forth flirting we ended up having sex one night...I really had intended it to be just that. I didn't foresee any problems, which was kind of naïve of me I suppose...The sex was...to me it felt like more than sex...have you ever had sex with someone and you just feel like your physical and emotional connection are so closely intertwined that they fortify and intensify each other?”

 

Youngjae nodded, “with JB...”

 

“Well, that night I felt that with Jinyoung...and I was so sure he felt it too. I was so sure that if I'd ask him to be my boyfriend he'd say yes, that we'd-” Mark stopped. He felt pathetic talking so passionately about someone who, not half an hour ago, was calling him names and made him feel like less than nothing. He stood up, “another coffee?” He walked to the counter without waiting for an answer.

 

Mark came back with new fancy coffees and sat back down again. He cleared his throat before he continued, “I think you can guess he turned me down...and then...just a few days later he goes and sleeps with someone else. Someone I know and consider a friend. A friend who decided to talk to _me_ about their encounter. When I talked to him about it he made me feel like a bad person for having any kind of feelings for him in the first place. Like I had developed feelings just to mess with him or something. I felt horrible...and the worst part is that my feelings for him stayed the same.”

 

“Of course you're not a bad person for having those feelings. And it must have been horrible to listen to how he had sex with someone else from the person he had sex with...he could have at least showed some sympathy for that. I'm really sorry that happened, Mark. You deserve so much better.” Youngjae gently placed his hand on Mark's that was on the table and softly rubbed it with his thumb in an attempt to give him so sort of comfort. Mark looked at him and gave him a weak, but thankful, smile.

 

They both stared at their drinks, taking the occasional sip, before Youngjae started speaking again, “Mark?” Mark looked up to meet Youngjae's eyes, “I'm not asking this to judge you or because I think it would be bad if you had, but...did you really sleep with all the people Jinyoung mentioned?”

 

“What do you think?” Mark said a bit more harsh than he had intended.

 

Youngjae leaned his chin on one of his hands and furrowed his eyebrows together in thought, “Hmm, well. I don't really think you're V's type to be honest. Of course with V you never really know. You might be Shownu's type if he has a type, but I don't know him that well. And...which Minhyuk was he talking about? If we're talking BtoB you better explain yourself to Hakyeon, unless they were “on a break” again. If we're talking Monsta X I don't think so. Now if we're talking B Bomb-”

 

“Youngjae! That was a rhetorical question! No, I didn't sleep with any of those guys!”

 

“Oh.” Youngjae flashed him an apologetic smile, before it turned into a cheeky smile, “That's a shame, really. I'm actually very curious about BtoB's Minhyuk. He has such a cute face, but those abs...”

 

“Are you kidding me right now?”

 

Youngjae laughed. “What? A boy can wonder. I mean N is, from what I hear, quite kinky, but Minhyuk seems kinda vanilla to me. He's really flexible though! They both are...can you imagine those two together! Now that's something I'd like to see.”

 

“...”

 

Mark stared at his friend for a second with his mouth hanging open, but then their eyes met and they burst out laughing.

 

When the laughter stopped Youngjae's eyes turned sad again, “What are we going to do, Mark? I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to go home and deal with all this...”

 

“I know how you feel...maybe we can-”

 

“I found them!” A familiar voice interrupted Mark. Jackson suddenly stood next to their table with his phone in his hand, “I don't know yet. I'll keep you posted! Wang out.” Jackson ended his phone call and squeezed himself next to Mark in the booth, “hey guys, maybe next time you don't just run off like that and leave me and the youngsters worried sick.” He handed both of them their phones, “or at least take your phones with you.”

 

Youngjae stared at the table, “who were you talking to?” he asked with a soft voice.

 

“Bambam. He and Yugyeom are still at the dorm. So is Jinyoung, but according to Bambam he won't come out of his room. Yugyeom went in there though, but I'm not sure what's happening. In fact, I'm not sure what the fuck is going on in general since this morning. Anybody care to explain?” he looked between Mark and Youngjae, but neither one was eager to talk.

 

“What about Jaebum...” Youngjae finally asked with a meek tone.

 

“What about him?” Jackson asked in return.

 

“You said Bambam, Yugyeom and Jinyoung are still at the dorm...what about Jaebum?”

 

“He said he was going to the studio, but I'm not sure if that's true to be honest. Seriously guys...I only caught like half of what was going on in the living room this morning, but I'm suspecting Jinyoung isn't the only gay member of our group and someone slept with someone and someone else is upset about that...or something?”

 

“Yeah...something like that.” Mark replied, “Look, Jackson...me and Youngjae aren't in a happy place right now and I don't think either of us have the energy to talk about it. We just need to...not think about Jinyoung and JB for a bit. I'm sorry it's so vague but...is that okay?”

 

Jackson jumped up, enthusiastic smile on his face, “Say no more! Jackson Wang, professional entertainer and friend, is on the case!” he gestured Youngjae and Mark to get up and, when they hesitantly did so, grabbed both of their hands and started dragging them outside. “First stop: arcade hall!”

 

<>

 

Bambam put his phone back in his pocket right when Yugyeom came out of Jinyoung's room. He walked over to him and pulled him closer so they were close enough to whisper, “I don't understand why you went to comfort him Yugyeom! He was an ass to both Mark and Youngjae!”

 

“I know he was, but he's just hurting too, Bam”

 

Bambam scoffed, “Whatever, that doesn't make it okay.”

 

“I just...think he really loves Mark.”

 

Bambam shook his head in disbelieve, “He has a weird way of showing it if you ask me.”

 

“Maybe he's confused or scared or...I don't know. But I know he didn't really mean the things he said to Mark.”

 

“He's stupid is what he is.” Bambam took a deep breath and started talking in a normal volume again, “Anyway, Jackson just called. He found them. He said he'd keep me posted. He didn't tell me if he has a better idea of what the fuck happened this morning. Oh and our leader left by the way. Let's not forget we seem to be dealing with double drama. There's something big going on with him and Youngjae as well...”

 

Bambam wrapped an arm around his best friend and started walking towards the living room, “Yugyeom...if you were dating or fucking someone, you'd tell me, right?”

 

Jinyoung listened to Yugyeom and Bambam's voices disappearing into the other room. They hadn't whispered as softly as they had seemed to think, but Jinyoung heard some things he had needed to hear. Yugyeom had looked right through him and seen his confusion, his fear, and his love for Mark. Maybe Yugyeom's words was what finally made him acknowledge it or maybe he was just too tired to keep on denying. It was the first time Jinyoung admitted it to himself. He loved Mark. A small smile crept on his face, finally accepting the feelings. The smile almost instantly disappeared again and his whole body filled with despair. He loved Mark, he could have had Mark, and he fucked it all up. He'd let his past experiences with love taint a love that could have been. And now it was lost forever. Jinyoung pulled his knees up and let his head lean on them. He felt empty. He heard the front door slam shut and he wondered if he was all alone now. He deserved to be all alone.

 

However a few moments later he heard footsteps, “Jinyoung?” Yugyeom's voice came through the door of his bedroom, “Bambam is meeting with Jackson...he's with Youngjae and...and with Mark. I don't think they're coming home tonight. I eeh..I didn't really feel like going out so I'm just going to be in the living room, okay?” Jinyoung didn't answer. He felt both grateful and undeserving of Yugyeom's presence. He didn't go out into the living room. He lay down on his back and stared at the ceiling. He didn't move and he wasn't sure how much time had pasted when Yugyeom knocked on his door again. “J-jinyoung? There's someone here to see you...”

 

<>

 

At the arcade hall Mark and Youngjae vented some of their feelings in a series of fighting games and Jackson won them both stuffed animals. After that they went to karaoke. Bambam had joined them and his off key singing was a weird welcome distraction. They ordered food and drinks while singing until their voices didn't want to anymore. Jackson had arranged a hotel room for the night. They watched a series of terrible horror movies. While Bambam and Mark rolled their eyes at the bad effects, Jackson and Youngjae desperately clung to each other in fear.

 

There were two double beds in the room. Youngjae was quite grateful Jackson had almost demanded to sleep in the same bed as Youngjae claiming his likeness to an otter made him feel calm. Youngjae liked to think it was actually because Jackson was a good friend who, despite not knowing the whole situation, had sensed that it would be somewhat awkward for Mark and Youngjae to share a bed right now. Jackson and Bambam seemed to fall asleep the moment their heads hit their pillows. But for Youngjae and Mark the dark silence unfortunately made room for the events of last night and this morning to replay in their heads.

 

After a while Youngjae decided to check if he was the only one unable to sleep, “Mark?” he whispered, “are you awake?”

 

“Yeah...” came the immediate reply.

 

“Mark?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Do you...would you think I'm a weak idiot if I forgave Jaebum?”

 

“Of course I wouldn't think that, Youngjae. But, I won't accept it if you allow him to encase your relationship with secrecy and denial again.” Youngjae didn't say anything more, so Mark gently asked him, “Are you thinking of forgiving him?”

 

“Hmm...I am...I don't know...like you said, I definitely don't want to go back to the way things were. I mean...I don't expect us to make an announcement to the world or anything, but I'd like to be able to at least tell the ones closest to me. Besides...quite a few people in the idol world already know I'm gay anyway, it would be nice to be able to boast a bit about my hot idiot boyfriend...”

 

“How come _quite a few people_ know that you're gay but you never told all of us?”

 

“Well you know, you sleep or make-out with a few people and it spreads a little. I never actually _told_ anyone I'm gay...I always just let it spread naturally. But I suppose I could've told you guys. I'm kind of surprised that no-one knew actually.”

 

Youngjae let out a sigh and Mark decided not to ask more questions about Youngjae's wild adventures in gay idol land. Instead he asked about JB again, “So...what do you suppose is going to happen with you and JB then? You said you're thinking of forgiving him, so does that mean you haven't decided yet?”

 

“It means...I'm thinking about it. Which I guess means there's a possibility I will. It really depends on what his next move is going to be. I need to know he understands things would have to change...I need to see him try and be there in our relationship...I need him to listen to me...I need...I need him.”

 

This was the last thing Youngjae said before the room fell silent again. Eventually sleep found them both. Mark woke up when something, or actually someone, fell on top of him. Bambam was of the opinion that the best way to wake someone up was jumping on top of them. Mark disagreed and pushed Bambam off. He rolled off of the bed and landed on the floor. The sound of Bambam's floor-landing and the accompanying yelp woke up Youngjae as well. Jackson came into the room shortly thereafter, he had been out to get some breakfast. After breakfast they decided it was time to go. Jackson had a work-thing and Bambam said he'd forgotten a change of clothes and felt absolutely ridiculous wearing the same thing two days in a row. Youngjae and Mark decided to ignore their own lack of wardrobe changes in the last days. Jackson had called Yugyeom and he assured them JB and Jinyoung weren't home, so Mark and Youngjae had agreed to go home for now.

 

They walked out of the hotel and Mark was going to ask Youngjae if he wanted to get a cab together with Bambam when Youngjae suddenly stopped moving and Mark almost bumped into him, “Youngjae, what are you-” but that's when Mark saw the reason Youngjae had stopped. JB was leaning against a wall across the street, looking in their direction.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone at the door for Jinyoung...who could it be? Is Youngjae going to talk to JB and what does JB have to say? All this and more...in the next chapter~ *insert dramatic soap opera sound here*
> 
> I personally loved the whole Yugyeom sitting next to Jinyoung as he cries thing T_T I'm a sucker for Yugjin bromance moments.
> 
> There's going to be 1 or 2 more chapters I think (I'm also thinking about writing a sequel...).
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Comments are <3


	15. Talk with an old friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung meets with his past and Jaebum reflects on his actions with some help from a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...sorry if this chapter is a bit..boring? I wasn't planning for this part to be so long, but Jinyoung and Jaebum had more issues than I thought, lol.

Jinyoung mustered up the strength to get up from his bed and he opened his bedroom door to face a slightly nervous looking Yugyeom, “who is it?” Jinyoung wasn't expecting anyone and he didn't feel like dealing with anyone either. Maybe he could ask Yugyeom to ask them to leave, but if it was a senior or something he didn't want to be rude.

 

“ehm, it's Shownu...” Yugyeom said hesitantly, “from Monsta X” he added sheepishly as if there could be any doubt as to who Shownu was. He leaned in and whispered, “he didn't really say why he's here, but he seems super serious. Does he ever smile?”

 

Jinyoung's heart had started pounding at the mention of the name. Why was he here? And why did he want to talk to him? With lead in his shoes he walked into the living room. Shownu looked nervous, his hands shoved in his pockets. He gave Jinyoung an awkward nod when their eyes met. Jinyoung returned the nod, but he didn't speak. He had no idea what he was supposed to say.

 

“I-I'm sorry for just showing up like this, Jinyoung.” Shownu started, his nerves carrying through to his voice, “I would have called or something, but I was afraid you wouldn't agree to meet me...”

 

 _Probably not_. Jinyoung thought to himself. He still didn't say anything. Shownu's eyes fell on Yugyeom, who was silently standing next to his friend, “Perhaps we can go somewhere a bit more...private?” Shownu suggested to Jinyoung.

 

“I'll go to my room. You won't even know I'm here!” Yugyeom offered immediately, but before he could leave Jinyoung finally opened his mouth, “What do you want, Shownu?”

 

“To talk.”

 

“About?” Jinyoung tried to have as little emotion in is voice as possible, he wasn't sure he was pulling it off.

 

Again Shownu's eyes fell on Yugyeom who was still in the room. Jinyoung sighed and started walking towards the front door, “Yugyeom, me and Shownu are going out for a bit. I don't know for how long. I have my phone with me.” he grabbed his coat from the rack in the hallway and opened the front door. He held it open and signaled Shownu to lead the way.

 

Jinyoung checked his phone to check what time it was. He had laid on his bed longer than he thought. It was well past lunch time, but he didn't have an appetite. Where was he supposed to go with a man he didn't even want to be near to. They ended up in a small shop that served fresh smoothies and juices. They both ordered something and sat down at the table furthest away from the counter.

 

Jinyoung observed the man sitting in front of him. The man who had been on his mind more times than he wanted to admit. He seemed nervous, stiff.

 

“I..” Shownu stopped and took a big gulp of his drink. He wrinkled his nose at the taste.

 

“Not a fan of your spinach and pineapple smoothie?” Jinyoung asked coolly, sipping at his own drink.

 

Shownu looked at him in shock, as if he'd momentarily forgotten Jinyoung was even there, “eh..no I...it's alright” He took another gulp of it and took a deep breath. It was quiet for a few moments and Jinyoung started to wonder if Shownu somehow expected him to have developed telepathic abilities over the years or something. But then he started talking, “M-Minhyuk...he..”

 

Minhyuk. He should have known. Perhaps Shownu had found out about him and Jinyoung or his little meeting with Mark and he had an opinion about it that Jinyoung didn't want to hear.

 

“Minhyuk he...he told me he is in love with me...” Shownu didn't look at Jinyoung as he spoke, he just stared at the table.

 

Was Jinyoung supposed to act surprised? He'd seen the love and longing the very first time he'd seen Minhyuk's eyes on Shownu. He _was_ surprised however to see a small smile form on Shownu's lips as he continued to speak, “He told me he had been in love with me for years, but he never had the courage to tell me.” Shownu's smile quickly disappeared again, “I can't blame him for that...over the years I've made some...comments...about how I felt about two men together...and yet when he told me...I felt...”

 

Jinyoung was unable to say anything. Was Shownu saying what he thought he was? Did he actually return Minhyuk's feelings? Jinyoung continued to stare at Shownu in disbelief. What was he supposed to say to this? What could he possibly say?

 

“You didn't all of a sudden leave the company without telling him, did you?” Jinyoung shot at him, his voice bitter and harsh.

 

“Jinyoung...” Shownu looked up at him with pain in his eyes. Jinyoung averted his with a scoff.

 

“No. I did not.” Shownu continued, “He left me alone before waiting for my response. I suppose he thought I would definitely turn him down anyway.”

 

“Was he wrong?” Jinyoung asked quietly, returning his eyes to Shownu's face.

 

“I...yes. I mean, I don't know what I would have said to him in that moment if he hadn't left me alone, but I've thought about a lot of things in the last few days. About how I feel, what that means, about what I want him and me to be, and...about you, Jinyoung”

 

Jinyoung scoffed again.

 

“Jinyoung, please. I'm so sorry about what happened between us, about how I treated you and the things I said...”

 

“Are you only sorry now? Now that _you_ have feelings for another man?”

 

Shownu didn't answer.

 

“Why are we here Shownu? Talking about this? Do you want to clear your conscience before you go and tell Minhyuk how much you _love_ him. Do you want my blessing or something?” He couldn't believe he was listening to Shownu talking about love in this way.

 

“I am talking to you because I need you to know that I know I was wrong, so wrong. And that I'm sorry. You were one of my best friends and I...”

 

“Listen, Shownu.” Jinyoung interrupted, “if it's true what you're saying and you care for Minhyuk, love him...you can be with him if that's what you both want. It's not my job to validate that love and tell you it's okay. But please, please make sure that you can give him the love he wants. Don't keep him close to you just to keep him from someone else's hands if you can't love him like that.”

 

“I know.” Shownu replied softly. “I want to give him my all. I've never felt this kind of love before.”

 

The words that fell from Jinyoung's mouth next surprised both of them, “I'm happy for you, Shownu.”

 

“Y-you are?”

 

Jinyoung paused to think. Was he? Yes, strangely he was. He never thought he could forgive Shownu for what happened between them. But as their conversation had continued he found that his feelings of anger, hurt, shame, all the negative emotions he had attached to Shownu since then, didn't seem so important anymore. He found that he didn't care as much anymore. He didn't care about Shownu or who he loved. The person he did care about came to mind and Jinyoung spoke again, “Why did you meet with Mark a few days ago?”

 

Shownu blinked, still impressed by Jinyoung's words, “Ehm, Minhyuk had mentioned how he had spoken with Mark and that he gained courage to tell me about his feelings for me after that. After Minhyuk left me alone after his confession I contacted Mark to talk to him. I was still very confused about my own feelings and since Mark already sort of knew what was going on it made sense to talk to him. I think I just needed to talk to someone before I could truly accept them. Mark helped me with that.”

 

“So you didn't sleep with him?”

 

Shownu raised an eyebrow, “I just told you I have feelings for Minhyuk and you think I'd sleep with someone else right after his confession?” Shownu's face fell, “I guess I can't blame you for not having such a great opinion of me.”

 

Jinyoung looked at Shownu's sad face. He wondered if Mark had talked to him about the night Minhyuk and Jinyoung has spent together. He probably hadn't. “Did Mark say anything else?” he questioned.

 

Shownu shook his head, “We just talked about me and Minhyuk. Why?”

 

Jinyoung looked at his now empty glass, “No reason.” For a moment he thought about telling him. But what good would that do? Hurt Shownu? Possibly ruin his future with Minhyuk? No, Jinyoung decided, he didn't want that. If Minhyuk wanted to tell Shownu he was okay with that, but he wasn't going to. Instead he asked, “Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?”

 

“Ehm...I guess not? I basically said what I needed to say.”

 

Jinyoung gave a courteous nod and stood up, “I'm going to head out then.” He turned to walk away, but turned back one more time, “Shownu?”

 

“Yes, Jinyoung?”

 

“Good luck with Minhyuk. I hope it works out.”

 

Shownu looked at him with gratitude in his eyes and he nodded.

 

Jinyoung walked away from the table and stepped outside. It was getting dark already. Talking with Shownu had left him feeling strange. A certain weight was lifted from his heart, but another weight had replaced it. It was almost ironic that just as he was finally able to let go of the past he had already let it ruin the present. Maybe he could talk to Mark. Maybe it wasn't all lost. Maybe Mark could find a way to forgive him for everything he had said and done. At least to the point where they could start to be friends again. If not he would have ruined a lot more than a possible relationship. Whole GOT7 would be in jeopardy. The timing needed to be right. He couldn't just go up to Mark and say something like “ _oh hey sorry I called you a stupid slut and told you I didn't return your feelings. I actually love you, want to be my boyfriend?_ ” No, he'd need to see how Mark was feeling, if he would be receptive to his words at all. But not today. Jinyoung returned to the dorm to find only Yugyeom there.

 

“Jinyoung, a delivery came for you when you were out.” he handed him a large envelope.

 

“Shit...” he took the envelope from Yugyeom and inspected it's content, “I totally forgot I actually have work to do...it's the script of that drama...I actually have a costume fitting tomorrow as well...” He excused himself and went to his room. He forced himself to push his private life out of his mind and started reading.

 

<>

 

Jaebum was standing in their living room. Jinyoung had completely lost it and was now stuck in his room. Yugyeom went after him. Youngjae had left together with Mark. Bambam was staring at him, unsure of what to say or do. Jackson was the first to speak, “hyung?” He walked towards him when he didn't get a response, “Jaebum hyung? Shouldn't we go after them? I don't know what's going on exactly, but...”

 

“Leave them.” He grabbed his jacket, put on a hat and a face mask, “I'm going to the studio I have some work to do.” he said as he walked out the door leaving Jackson and Bambam in the living room.

 

Of course Jackson ignored what JB had said and went looking for them moments later.

 

Jaebum sat in his desk chair at the studio. He had tried to work on a new song, but there was no way he could focus. How could he? Youngjae hated him, Mark hated him, Jinyoung hated everything. He couldn't get the image of Youngjae and Mark in bed together out of his head. More than the fact that they were in bed together it was how peaceful and happy Youngjae had looked that bothered him. Not knowing what else to do he took out his phone and listened to the dial tone before the other person picked up, “Youngjae? I'm at the studio do you have some time to hang out?”

 

“Is this about that text I sent? Shit man, I'm really sorry if I put you and Youngjae in a tough spot.”

 

“It's fine...well...it's not. Everything is fucked. But it's not your fault. It's mine...it's all my fault.”

 

Youngjae could hear JB's voice crack over the phone. Something he'd never heard before. He assured the rest of B.A.P. he'd be back in time for their afternoon schedule and he headed over to his friend.

 

He found JB sitting in his desk chair, head phones on, and his head on the desk. He walked closer and pulled the headphones off. Jaebum shot up, startled, but relaxed in his chair when he say who it was.

Youngjae pressed one of the headphones to his ear and sighed when he heard the gloomy melody, “you're listening to some really depressing music, man. What happened?”

 

JB grabbed his headphones back and glared at his friend. After he was done explaining everything that had happened Youngjae let out a deep sigh and sank down on the little couch at the back of the room.

 

“I know you told me I wasn't supposed to talk about it, but I thought that's what you guys wanted. I didn't know _he_ wasn't supposed to know I knew. Not that I would have agreed to that anyway. Seriously Jaebum. Why did you want to keep it a secret _so_ badly?”

 

“I dunno...if people found out I was gay my career could be over...his career too...and GOT7. I hate that society is this way, but let's be honest....”

 

Youngjae pondered on that for a second, “I see that point and I'm sure Youngjae does too. All gay artists do. That doesn't mean they don't date. And it doesn't mean they don't tell _anyone_. I mean...there are several gay couples and numerous people who are...exploring their options, in our circles.”

 

Jaebum was surprised to hear this. He'd never noticed anything. Sure he'd seen some people being overly touchy or clingy, but that was just fanservice or man-bonding, right? “What!? Who?”

 

Youngjae let out a chuckle, “Are you serious? You don't know _anyone_ who's gay?”

 

“Well...I've known someone in my own group for a while and recently learned of another...besides Youngjae and...myself...which is also a relatively new discovery”

 

“For you.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Please Jaebum, I've been trying to get you out of the closet for years! I thought it would be fun for you to join me on my quests for dick.”

 

“Join you? Wait...y _ou're_ gay?”

 

Youngjae chuckled again and shook his head, “You really have a crappy gaydar Jaebum. Next thing I know you'll tell me you don't know about BtoB's Minhyuk and N and their on-again-off-again relationship. On currently, by the way.”

 

“Wait, what!?” JB's head was spinning with how oblivious he apparently truly was and he started to wonder who else of the people he knew were actually gay. He snapped out of his thoughts when Youngjae poked him in the cheek with a finger. Jaebum squatted his hand away and looked at him in annoyance. When had he gotten up anyway?

 

“Hello? Earth to Im Jaebum. We can discuss your terrible sense of what's going on around you some other time. I'm still trying to figure out why you were so hell bent on keeping your relationship a secret from _everyone_ to the point of not having a relationship to keep a secret.”

 

Jaebum stared down at his hands. The reason he'd given his boyfriend was always that he thought it was better and that it was no-one's business. He still thought it was no-one's business. But had it really been necessary to go to the lengths he had?

 

“You're not ashamed of him or something, are you?”

 

JB's head jerked up, “No! Of course not! He's amazing...”

 

Youngjae nodded, clearly thinking this over, “Does it have to do with the fact he's a he?”

 

Jaebum bit his lower lip and thought about that, “I...I don't think so? I think...I'm scared?”

 

“Of what?”

 

“Lot's of things...people's reactions, like I said. But also...Youngjae getting sick of me or finding someone better...the whole idea of putting our relationship out there for other people to see and judge...”

 

“Well, him getting sick of you can happen either way. And you actually have a chance _less_ people try to get in his pants if they know you two are together, don't you think?” Youngjae placed a hand on Jaebum's, “I know that other stuff is scary, it's terrifying. There's a lot of hate out there, but..I think what you need to ask yourself is...are all those fears stronger than what you feel for him? What's more important? Besides, it might be good to have a few people in your corner if the ignorance and hate comes your way, you know.” he said calmly, “and I hope you realize non of this explains why you thought it was okay for you to talk to people about him, but you wouldn't allow him to do the same.” Youngjae looked at his watch and sighed. He placed a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder, “Listen, I have to go back to work. You need to figure out your own feelings before you talk to him again, but Bummie, don't go back into that relationship if you're not willing to commit 100% and to listen, actually listen, to how _he_ feels. It won't be fair to him. Don't be selfish.” He walked to the door, before going through it he turned back around and winked at Jaebum, “Communication is the key my friend.”

 

Jaebum was left feeling stupid and alone. He'd tried so hard to keep Youngjae close to him he had actually driven him away, right into someone else's arms. He'd let all his fears and insecurities be the better of him. He dropped his head back onto the desk and let out a frustrated grunt. He could hear the faint sound of music coming from his headphones. He put them back on and wallowed in the sad melody. Eventually he picked up a pen and started scribbling down lyrics.

 

It was late when he finally left the studio. He picked up a variety of unhealthy snack at a convenience store and went home. Not sure who to find. The light in the living room was off, but he saw the light was still on in Yugyeom and Bambam's room where he found Yugyeom lying on his bed looking at his phone. He sat up when he saw Jaebum's head peek around the corner.

 

“You alone?”

 

“No...Jinyoung is in his room now. The rest are...out.”

 

Jaebum entered the room and sat down at the edge of the bed, “Listen, I'm really sorry about this morning. Some things are going on right now...don't worry about it too much.” he tried to give Yugyeom a reassuring look that everything was going to be okay, but he couldn't imagine he was very convinced seeing as he didn't believe it himself.

 

Yugyeom bit his lower lip and hesitated before speaking, “Jaebum...Shownu showed up here today. He said he wanted to talk to Jinyoung and they left together for a while. Jinyoung didn't say anything about it when he came back...”

 

Jaebum looked at Jinyoung's door, the light was still on. He told Yugyeom to go to sleep and walked to Jinyoung's bedroom,“You awake?”

 

“Yeah, come in.”

 

“So...” Jaebum paused for a moment, staring it Jinyoung trying to see what kind of state he was in, “Yugyeom told me Shownu showed up here and you left with him. Are you okay?”

 

“In general? Not really. About Shownu? Yes, actually.” JB sat down next to Jinyoung and looked at him. Jinyoung sighed, “Minhyuk finally told Shownu he's in love with him...”

 

“What!?” JB yelled a little too loud for the time that it was and he lowered his volume after Jinyoung told him to shush, “Minhyuk is in love with Shownu? Wow...”

 

Jinyoung shook his head and rolled his eyes. JB really had the crappiest sense of what was going on ever.

 

“He couldn't have taken that well? Is Minhyuk alright?”

 

“I think he will be...as soon as Shownu tells him he feels the same way...”

 

Jaebum's mouth fell open, “What!? You're kidding right! After what happened with you two he's just going to show up here to tell you he's in love with Minhyuk now?”

 

Jinyoung put a hand on JB's arm to calm him down, “Relax. I'm okay with it. Really, I am. I even wished him luck, can you believe that?”

 

He shook his head. “Not really...wow this day just keeps hitting me right in my gay face.” After a moment of silence he dared to bring up another sore topic, “How are you feeling about Mark? You really blew up at him.”

 

“So did you.” Jinyoung was quick to point out.

 

“I did...but I don't think we had the same reasons, did we?”

 

“Not unless your reasons are that you've been in total and complete denial of your feelings for him and have done everything wrong to the point where he might never forgive you and you feel like you've possibly ruined something that could have been the most epic love ever?”

 

“eehh...”

 

Jinyoung let out a puff of air and shook his head, “well...you did fuck things up pretty good with Youngjae too. So I guess we're both idiots.”

 

“Yeah...I guess. But,” Jaebum stood up, “I'm not giving up! I'm going to talk to him, I'm going to listen to him. I'm going to do everything I can to fix this. I'll get a tattoo on my ass saying I belong to him if that's what it takes!”

 

“...I doubt Youngjae would like that.”

 

“What about you?”

 

“I don't care what you tattoo on your ass.”

 

“No, I mean, are you and Mark over?”

 

“I don't want to give up...I don't...but it's different for us. You and Youngjae have had an actual relationship. Mark and I...we...I'll have to see if he can forgive me first. I'll try to talk to him when he comes back home.”

 

Jaebum nodded. They said goodnight and he went back to his own, silent, room, leaving Jinyoung to work for a few more hours despite the time. Before JB tried to get some sleep, however, he took out his phone. He hesitated, he wrote and re-wrote the message, but finally he pressed send.

 

[to Mark] _I know you hate me right now. I'm not your biggest fan at the moment either. I know I've fucked up. I want to make it right with him. I love him, Mark. I'm only texting you instead of him because I don't know if he's ready to talk to me_ _or at least listen_ _, but_ _if you think that there's a chance that he is...please tell me where he is?_

 

He didn't get a reply until the morning.

 

[from Mark] _You're right. I'm mad at you. He's mad at you. I'm only replying to tell you where we are because I think he wants you to talk to him. Don't come if you're going to get mad or yell at_ _either of us._ _Me and Jackson will punch you in the face._

 

The next message was the address of a hotel not too far by cab. Jaebum didn't waste any time. Mark wouldn't tell him where to go if he thought there was no way Youngjae wanted to see him, right? He hastily walked out of his bedroom, he heard Yugyeom in the kitchen talking to a barking Coco. Probably giving her breakfast. “I'm going out!” he yelled and without waiting for a response left the dorm.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of Markjin/2jae interaction in this one! I just really needed Jinyoung to have a talk with Shownu (I think you can sort of guess what happened between them, but there's still more to that story actually) and I needed JB to reflect on his actions!
> 
> JB and Youngjae will get to talk in the next one...can't promise things will get resolved right away :o
> 
> oh and fyi...since a new storyline is forming in my head I will probably just continue the story for a while longer. Also thinking about a spin off about Youngjae's hook ups before JB (I can call it "Youngjae's wild adventures in gay idol land" lol)


	16. Silent karaoke and a Peanut butter Sandwich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youngjae agrees to talk with Jaebum. Jinyoung tries to talk to Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *updates quickly for those waiting for some 2jae and Markjin interaction* This chapter is a lot shorter than the previous one, but it felt right to cut the story lines where I cut them so...next one will probably be way longer!

Mark put a hand on Youngjae's arm to get his attention, “I hope you're not mad, but I told him where we were. Last night I got the feeling you really need him to talk to you and he asked...”

 

Youngjae looked at his friend and knowing that he'd meant well nodded. “I guess I'll listen to what he has to say...”

 

“Call me if you need anything, okay?”

 

“You too.”

 

Mark and Bambam took a cab back to the dorm, Jackson left for his individual work schedule. Youngjae waited for JB to cross the street. Their eyes crossed, but they immediately looked away, both unfamiliar with the tense situation they were currently in.

 

“I don't think we should talk in public...maybe go to a hotel?” Jaebum suggested.

 

Youngjae raised an eyebrow.

 

“Just to talk! I just want to talk to you, please.”

 

“How about a karaoke box? Costs less than a hotel.” Youngjae suggested in return.

 

Jaebum nodded. The atmosphere between them was heavy with silence and the walk to a nearby karaoke place seemed to take a lot longer than the actual ten minutes it took. It was still early and there weren't a lot of people around. They opted for a non-smoking room and paid for an hour. Neither of them knew if they would need more or less time than that. The cheerful girl behind the counter told them their room was on the second floor and to 'have fun'. They both gave her a stiff nod before going to the elevator. Again silence filled the air. Once in the room JB suggested they put some songs in the queue so it would seem like they were actually there for karaoke. When the first song started to play he started talking, “Youngjae...I'm not sure where to start so I'll just start with saying I'm sorry.”

 

Youngjae sat next to him on the couch, he didn't say anything, he didn't look directly at him. He just waited to see what more he would have to say.

 

“For so many things...first of all, I'm sorry about yesterday morning. I didn't react right, but you have to understand I was still in shock about what you had said to me about...breaking up...and then I see you and...together. I just lost it...I-”

 

“I didn't sleep with him if that's what you think.” Youngjae interrupted with a small voice.

 

“Well, you were sleeping on his naked body...” _No Jaebum, this isn't what you need to talk about right now_ his inner voice told him.

 

“We weren't naked!” Youngjae said defensively, “We weren't wearing any shirts, I'll give you that and...we...we kissed but...I started crying...” he averted his eyes and stared at his hands.

 

Jaebum shook his head and huffed at Youngjae's words. He felt his anger rising again. He tried to listen to the voice telling him to drop this subject for now, but another voice, the one that came out of his mouth, pressed further, “What if you hadn't? Would you have slept with him?”

 

“Is this why you wanted to talk to me? A half-assed apology and a third degree about me and Mark? I didn't sleep with him, I don't _want_ to sleep with him! I'd just told you I wanted to break up and I was upset because of that and the shit you had pulled and-”

 

“I'm sorry! You're right, I'm sorry. Please...” Jaebum ran a frustrated hand through his hair and took a moment to calm himself. He looked over at Youngjae who wasn't looking at him, but he saw his eyes glistening with unfallen tears. With a softer voice than before Jaebum started talking again,“I've been thinking a lot about why I did the things that I did...Wanting to keep our relationship only between us...not exactly doing that myself...” he looked at Youngjae who was still staring at his hands, “I was scared. Scared of the opinions of others, scared for people to find out we're gay, scared that...you'd leave me.” Youngjae looked up at that last statement, “leave you?”

 

“I guess I thought that...if other people knew...they might show interest in you and you...you'd find someone better...”

 

“That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.” Youngjae's hand hesitated for a moment before he, lightly like he wasn't exactly sure about the touch, placed his hand on Jaebum's, “I would never leave you for “someone better”. Besides...” a small smile appeared on his face and he lifted his head to look at JB, “don't you think less people would try to take me from you if they actually knew we were together?”

 

Jaebum allowed himself a small smile, “that's exactly what Youngjae said too.” And then Youngjae's hand was gone again.

 

“If it was just the whole keeping-our-relationship-a-secret-thing I would have understand if you'd just talked to me about all the things you just talked about.” Youngjae's voice was calm, but he was clearly fighting back tears. “I mean, do you really think I don't understand what's it's like to be scared of what people might think? Or what it's like to be insecure? But you _chose_ to talk to other's about you and me and every aspect of our relationship behind my back. And to make matters worse you asked those people not to talk to me, to deny that you talked to them!”

 

Jaebum wanted to explain himself, but he really didn't have any excuse that could make this okay, “...I was just insecure about...my feelings at first and...about the amount of experience you had and...I hadn't...and...”

 

“I get that, but that doesn't mean it's okay. You discussed such private things...did it never occur to you I might needed someone to talk to sometimes too?”

 

“I know...I know I'm stupid and selfish. I know that being scared isn't a good enough excuse, but I know that, no matter what I was scared of before, hearing you tell me you want to break up and seeing you in someone else's arms was way, way, more terrible than anything else I can imagine. I can't deal with it, Youngjae. I can't....I'm...” his voice choked and he stopped to take a deep breath, “I'm doing it again, aren't I? Only focusing on how _I_ feel and what _I_ need, not thinking about you...”

 

“Yes you are.” For a moment neither of them spoke. Despite the karaoke song that was currently playing the room felt silent. Jaebum didn't know what to say. Apologize again? Tell him he loved him? Promise he would work on his issues? Try to kiss him? All of the above? But before he could speak or do anything Youngjae opened his mouth, “I understand I had a part in all of this too. I could've tried harder to let you understand I didn't want to keep our relationship just between us...and...it's not cool I did what I did with Mark the moment after I told you I wanted to break up. I get that, but...” he looked up and their eyes met. Youngjae was clearly struggling with what to say next and how to say it. His voiced quivered, “I need some more time. I don't know if I can be with you again, I...” he stood up and turned his back to a frozen JB, “A friend of mine is actually staying in Seoul for a few days and I'm going to hang out with him. I won't sleep at home. “

 

“Oh...”

 

“Jaebum...I...” Youngjae sighed, from that soft 'oh' he could tell JB was wondering what kind of “friend” this was, “I don't know yet what I want to do with...us, but I can promise you that I won't do anything with anyone else before I do, okay?”

 

Jaebum felt the sting of tears in his eyes. He didn't want Youngjae to leave, not like this. Nothing was resolved. Youngjae's hand moved to the door handle and Jaebum moved his own to grab the back of Youngjae's shirt with a weak grip, “Please...” he whispered, “please don't leave.”

 

Youngjae froze in place. It would be so easy to just give in, to turn around and kiss him like before. But the hurt was still too fresh, it wouldn't be like before. So he yanked the door open and walked out. Inside the elevator he wiped the tears away with his sleeve, but it didn't help.

 

JB left when the hour was up. He was glad he brought his sunglasses so the cheerful girl wishing him a good day didn't see his swollen, teary eyes.

 

He spent the next couple of days mostly at the studio. It was fortunate they didn't have any group activities so he had time to work on his music. Not that he was working on anything they could actually use. It took everything he had not to check his phone every few minutes to see if Youngjae had contacted him or to try and contact Youngjae himself. He'd said he needed time and he wanted to give him that. So he was pouring all of his emotions into music. How much he cared about Youngjae, how sorry he was about screwing everything up and about how much better his life was with him and how worthless it would be if he wasn't in it. None of the words he wrote down seemed to be able to express all that, but he wrote them anyway. He wrote and re-wrote his lyrics and he went through countless of melodies trying to somehow get a grip on his emotions.

 

It was now two days ago he'd talked to Youngjae. He'd barely spoken with anyone. He ignored the messages asking him what was going on and if he was okay. He hadn't been at the dorm much either. After days of working on his song that, he had now concluded, could never fully express how he felt about Youngjae, he felt drained and pathetic. He'd just gone to the bathroom and had decided it was time to tidy up the mess he'd made in the studio and to get a few hours of rest that he noticed the door, which he was sure he'd closed, was open. He slowly pushed the door open to see if there was anybody there and his eyes widened when he saw a familiar person sitting in his chair with one side of his headphones pressed to his ear, “Y-youngjae?”

 

<>

 

After getting home Mark had gone straight to his room. Jinyoung wasn't home, a thing he was most grateful for. Whether Jinyoung was going to yell at him again or apologize, Mark wasn't ready to deal with him. Bambam and Yugyeom tried to talk to him, but they got the hint that Mark didn't want to talk when he threw his pillow at them and told them to get out.

 

He'd stayed in his room most of the day because he didn't want to be out there when Jinyoung got home. But he'd gotten hungry hours ago and stupid Jinyoung still wasn't home. So eventually he caved and went to the kitchen. And of course, the front door opened. And of course it wasn't Jackson. Of course it was Park Jinyoung. Mark hoped he wouldn't come into the kitchen. He tried to listen what was going on from the kitchen. He could hear Jinyoung's footsteps and him knocking on his bedroom door, “Mark? Are you home?” He knocked again. Mark heard footsteps again. This time they became louder as Jinyoung approached the kitchen. Mark's head started to pound. He wasn't sure how he was going to react when he actually saw Jinyoung's face. He didn't want to see his face. But seconds later there it was.

 

Jinyoung let out a small gasp when he walked in, surprised to find Mark standing in the kitchen and looking right at him. “Didn't you hear me?” he asked. Mark didn't answer. Jinyoung took a breath, “doesn't matter. Can we talk?”

 

“I don't want to talk to you.” Mark said firmly and walked towards the living room, but Jinyoung placed a hand on his arm, “Mark, please, I just want to-”

 

Mark pulled his arm away as if touched by something disgusting, “Don't fucking touch me. I don't want to talk to you. Leave me the fuck alone!” He stormed to his room and slammed the door shut. He fell face first onto his bed and groaned. _I guess_ that's _how I react to seeing his face_ he thought to himself followed by: _shit, I forgot my sandwich_.

 

Jinyoung was left frozen in the kitchen. Until that moment he'd still had _some_ hope that Mark would be able to forgive him, but the way he reacted to a light touch from Jinyoung, the way he'd looked at him. Like he was a disease or the worst of humans. Jinyoung felt light-headed and nauseous. He knew he'd fucked up, but this...having Mark look at him like that...he felt even worse then he had all those years ago with Shownu. And that was saying something. He only realized that he'd been holding his breath when suddenly his body couldn't hold out any longer and sucked in a deep breath of air. He took a few more deep breaths to compose himself. He wanted to leave the kitchen to go to his own bedroom when his eye fell on the peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich Mark had made himself. Jinyoung took it and stood in front of Mark's bedroom holding it before he placed it in front of the door. He wanted to knock and tell him that he left his food there for him, but the words wouldn't come out. So he just left it there, hoping Mark would find it. He did. The next morning when he stepped in it, cursing whoever left it there.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol I don't know why I made Mark step in a peanut butter sandwich, poor guy.
> 
> Next chapter we'll see if JB's musical efforts have any kind of effect on Youngjae~
> 
> I'm kind of wondering how you all (you the readers) feel about the Mark/Youngjae make-out that happened and if Youngjae should apologize more or is what he said now enough? I'm torn...I mean...technically he had broken up with JB, but it's a pretty crappy thing to just go and hook up with someone else right after that...
> 
> Comments are love <3


	17. Song of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youngjae and Jaebum have an unexpected encounter at the recording studio. Mark learns something about Jinyoung that might affect how he feels about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a bit longer than I thought to finish this and I'm not 100% happy about it...Youngjae and Mark struggle with emotions and that's making me struggle with writing or something >.> But I finished it anyway, I hope you'll like it!  
> There's not much direct Markjin in this chap, but plenty of 2jae!

Youngjae had spent the last few days with his childhood friend, distracting himself from his crumbling love life. But his friend had gone back to Mokpo and Youngjae was wondering what he should do now. He missed him. He missed his warmth, his dumb smile and his sometimes questionable fashion choices. He still wasn't sure, however, if he was ready to be together again. He believed Jaebum was sorry and he was willing to believe that he was going to make an effort to change things. But there was a little voice in Youngjae's head telling him that Jaebum had been so adamant about keeping their relationship a secret because he didn't love him enough or because he didn't want people to know he was together with _him._ He wanted to shut that voice off, recognize it for his own insecurity that it probably was, but everytime he told himself to talk to JB again that voice told him he would only get hurt all over.

 

Youngjae decided to go to the studio to see if music would help him make some sense of his own emotions. It usually did. He got to the studio and it looked like he wasn't the only one wanting to work on some music. The door was unlocked and when he went inside he found food wrappers and a pile of papers with crossed-out and half-finished lyrics. He picked up an empty bottle of strawberry milk. It was Jaebum. He was here. When he looked around better he saw JB's bag and coat by the couch in the back. He probably just went to the bathroom or something and he would probably get back any second now. Youngjae thought about leaving, but something stopped him. A different voice than the negative one told him he needed to stay a little longer. So he sat down in the chair and looked through some of the scraps of paper. Everything was about love and pain. _How emo_. Youngjae thought. He looked at the computer and saw the editing program was still open. Untitled. Was this what Jaebum had been working on?

 

Forgetting that JB could walk through the door at any given moment Youngjae pressed the headphones, that were on the desk, to his left ear and pressed play. The melody was beautiful. Sad, longing. But it were the lyrics, sung by Jaebum's soft, fragile voice, that made the tears fall from Youngjae's eyes.

 

He didn't hear JB enter the room until he spoke, “Y-youngjae? What are you doing h-”

 

“Did you write this?” Youngjae asked with a weak voice.

 

“I did” Jaebum answered softly while he cautiously walked closer as if Youngjae was an animal that would get spooked and run away at any sudden movements.

 

“Is it...about me...us?”

 

“Of course it is.” Jaebum got even closer and reached out his hand, but he stopped and let if hover above Youngjae's shoulder, unsure. Youngjae turned around. Tears were running down his face, “I didn't know you were here...I just didn't want to go home yet...so I came here and..”

 

Jaebum offered a small smile, “it's okay. You don't have to explain yourself. I can go-”

 

“No!” Youngjae stood up and reached out his hand to take Jaebum's hand in his own. He had believed him when he said he was sorry. He believed they could change the things that were wrong in their relationship. And the little voice that told him Jaebum didn't love him enough or that he didn't really want to be with Youngjae was forever silenced by the song he'd just heard. He had felt JB's love for him in every word and sound.

 

JB looked down at their linked hands and he looked back up to look into Youngjae's teary eyes, “No?” he asked softly.

 

“No.” Youngjae whispered in return. They stood in silence. A different silence than when they spoke in the karaoke room. It was still filled with uncertainty, but also a nervous anticipation. Slowly and gently Jaebum moved his free hand to Youngjae's face and he used his thumb to wipe the tears from his cheeks. Still unsure of himself he tried moving a bit closer. Youngjae didn't stop him. Slowly the distance between their lips grew smaller, right before there would be none left Jaebum stopped as if he was afraid Youngjae would shy away from him if he closed the gap completely. But then Youngjae closed the gap for him. It sent shivers down his spine to feel those lips on his own again. Good shivers, wonderful shivers. Jaebum gently caressed his cheek as they continued to kiss softly. Youngjae gently broke the kiss and looked Jaebum in the eyes, he smiled shyly and Jaebum leaned their foreheads together. Youngjae hadn't been sure what their future would be, but listening to JB's song followed by the kiss they'd just shared he knew their love was bigger than the mistakes they'd made.

 

“We probably still have a lot of issues to work out...” Youngjae whispered, “but I'd like to do that together...as boyfriends.”

 

Jaebum grabbed him in a tight hug, almost squeezing the breath out of him, “I'd like that too.” He pulled back and cupped Youngjae's face in his hands, “I've missed you” he leaned in for another sweet kiss. And another one. And another. The kisses grew longer and less sweet and it wasn't long before Jaebum had his hands on Youngjae's hips, pulling him closer, and Youngjae had his hands roaming around in his boyfriend's hair. Their tongues seemed as excited about their reconciliation as the boys themselves were, both letting out a muffled moan when they touched.

 

Youngjae managed to detach himself long enough to whisper in JB's ear as he began to explore Youngjae's neck, “Jaebum. I know we've only _just_ made up but I'd really like it if you would fuck me on that couch over there”

 

For a brief moment Jaebum stopped and looked at his boyfriend, slightly overwhelmed by the emotional switch from somewhat of a complete mess to ecstatically happy, before he smirked at him. Youngjae bit his bottom lip and smirked right back. In the blink of an eye Youngjae jumped up, wrapping his legs around the other's waist. JB was quick to grab his ass in support and they held each other tight as JB walked them over to the couch while their mouths engaged in hungry kisses. As gentle as he could Jaebum lowered Youngjae down and dropped him with his back on the couch. Again he attacked Youngjae's neck. Youngjae's moaning that followed in response was a sound he didn't really know how much he had craved until he heard it again. He sought out Youngjae's hand with his own and weaved their fingers together in a tight hold. He set out his other hand to explore Youngjae's soft skin under his shirt. It wasn't long before they broke apart long enough to pull their shirts over their heads and throw them on the floor. Jaebum made sure the rest of their clothing was soon to follow. Their tongues were again busy rediscovering each other when Youngjae, between needy kisses and moans, set his hand to search for JB's bag that he was sure was somewhere near the couch. He search around in it, finding the little pocket he was looking for and pulled out a small bottle of lube and a condom. Jaebum looked surprised, he didn't remember putting that in his bag. Youngjae let out a giggle, “I put those in there a while ago. You have this bag with you a lot and I know you never use that pocket.”

 

Jaebum grabbed the supplies from his boyfriend's hands and coated his fingers with lube, “why didn't you put them in your own bag, weirdo.” he asked while pretending not to smile.

 

“I do have it in my own bag, but it's better to be double prepared for anything.”

 

Jaebum circled his finger around Youngjae's hole, “you're like a dirty boyscout.” He slipped the first finger in and Youngjae moaned at the feeling. He grabbed Jaebum's face on either side, pulled him closer and clashed their lips together. Another moan escaped him when JB quickly added another finger. “Someone is a little impatient,” Youngjae moaned in his ear.

 

“Sorry, too fast?” Jaebum slowed down the pace with which his fingers were moving in and out of him.

 

“Not at all. I'm impatient too.” Youngjae replied and added action to his words by pushing down on JB's fingers.

 

It wasn't long before Jaebum had his whole length deep inside Youngjae and was fucking him with strong thrusts. Even though all the drama hadn't started even a week ago it felt almost like a lifetime since they last had sex. A feeling that made them both a little more...eager, than usual. Youngjae moved in sync with Jaebum's thrusts and wrapped his legs around his waist. JB leaned down and joined their hands together above Youngjae's head. He slipped his tongue in Youngjae's half-open mouth and delighted in the moaning it caused. His breathing become more and more erratic along with his hard thrusts until he moaned Youngjae's name as he came. Still on his high JB quickly sank down onto the floor and wrapped his lips around Youngjae's erection. He immediately felt a hand grab his hair and it wasn't long after that, that he could taste Youngjae come undone on his tongue. Sweaty and out of breath he climbed back up and placed a lazy kiss on Youngjae's lips who greeted him with a warm smile.

 

“I love you”

 

“I love you too”

 

Jaebum's smile fell and his eyes grew wider, “We...we just had sex in the studio...”

 

“We sure did” Youngjae smiled a wide smile at him.

 

“W-well, maybe we should get dressed...”

 

“Probably...” Youngjae said lazily, stretching his arms out. He didn't share Jaebum's feelings of panic about having had sex in a place where other people could walk in. He watched as his boyfriend quickly put his clothes on until his vision was blocked by his own shirt that JB threw in his face.

 

For a little while after they'd both gotten dressed they sat cuddled on the couch. They didn't speak until Jaebum decided to break the silence, “Youngjae?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“I want to go home and tell the others we're together, okay?

 

Youngjae replied with a smile and a determined nod of his head.

 

“But...” Jaebum continued.

 

“...”

 

“I have to talk to Mark first. I haven't really spoken to him since that morning...There are still a few things we need to work out between us. Not just about you and me, but I also want to talk to him about Jinyoung.”

 

Youngjae cast down his eyes but nodded in understanding before his head jolted back up again and he let out a loud “Ah!”

 

“W-what?”

 

“I just remembered I'm still super pissed at Jinyoung! About how he knew all along and about the way he treated Mark!”

 

“Don't be too mad at him, okay? He didn't talk to you because I asked him to....”

 

“I know, but he has a brain of his own doesn't he? Don't worry, I don't want to fight with him. I understand why he chose to do what you asked him to. You guys go way back and he's like your best friend. I'm more pissed at him about the things he said to Mark though, he was way out of line!”

 

Jaebum nodded slowly. “Yes he was. But he...he didn't mean it. He was...dealing with some things. I think he and Mark just really need to talk to each other, if they haven't already. I haven't really been home that much in the last few days.” Jaebum stood up and stretched his back, “I'm going to call Mark, see if he has time to talk now so we can go home after that and talk to the others, okay?”

 

“Okay, but...what exactly do you want to talk to Mark about? I guess I can understand you want to talk to him about what happened between him and me, but like I already said I'm really sorry that happened and I know he is too...He's still totally in love with Jinyoung and he's hurting. He doesn't need you mad at him right now...”

 

”Youngjae...I don't want to be mad at him. I know you said you never really wanted to hook-up with Mark and I believe you, but...I'd feel a lot better if I can hear the same from Mark.”

 

“Jaebum...”

 

“Can you really blame me for wanting to make sure he isn't attracted to you?” Jaebum leaned over and planted a quick kiss on Youngjae's cheek, “Don't worry, sunshine. I just want to talk to him. No fighting or yelling, I promise.”

 

<>

 

When he looked at the caller ID Mark first thought about not picking up. But he was sick of avoiding everybody and JB was still his friend. So Mark gave him the benefit of the doubt and picked up, hoping that JB wanted to _talk_ and not fight some more. “Hey.”

 

“Hey, Mark? It's Jaebum.” When Mark didn't give him a reply he simply continued, “do you have time to meet me right now? So we can talk?”

 

“I suppose so...” Mark was about to ask what exactly JB wanted to talk about when he heard a familiar voice in the background asking if he knew where his other sock was, “is that Youngjae? Is he with you?” Mark asked surprised.

 

“Y-yeah, he's here with me.”

 

“Switch the phone to him. I need to talk to him before I can talk to you.”

 

Jaebum let out an annoyed grunt, but handed the phone over regardless.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Youngjae! Are you okay? How are things, did you guys talk?”

 

“Honestly we did more than just talk, if you know what I mean.”

 

“Youngjae!” Jaebum yelled in the background, but Mark ignored Youngjae's implication, “And things are...good? Are you guys back together? He's agreed to tell people?”

 

“Yeah. We still have some stuff to figure out, but he wants to tell GOT7 at least. He just said he wanted to talk to you before that since you had a fight too...But yeah, things are good. So try to make up with him, please. For me?”

 

“Where are you guys? Can you meet me at that place you and I went to the other day? Those coffee drinks were so good they almost made me forget all the shit that was happening.”

 

About half an hour later Mark and Jaebum sat across from each other while Youngjae had agreed to get a coffee to go and wait at the nearby park.

 

After a few moments of loaded silence Jaebum cleared his throat and started the conversation, “I want to start out by saying that I know I've made mistakes and that I acknowledge that I did. I've done a lot of thinking and me and Youngjae talked. I also want to say that I understand and appreciate you care about Youngjae and that you're looking out for him.” he paused for a moment. Mark thought this talk was going very well. “However,” JB continued, “what happened between you two isn't cool. I know I didn't want you to know, but you _did_ know and you still kissed him and...”

 

“We kissed each other.” Mark interrupted. He hadn't meant to sound so defensive about. “I just mean...we kissed each other because we were both in a crappy state of mind. But I honestly believe nothing more that that was ever going to happen, Jaebum. If we weren't interrupted by Youngjae's crying one of us would have come to our senses anyway.” Mark let out a silent sigh, “That being said...you're right. It wasn't cool.” he paused, but added, “Neither were the reasons _why_ it happened, but...Youngjae said you talked and things are going to be better now. So if Youngjae can forgive you and get past it I don't see why I can't. You're one of my best friends too and I hate the way we fought.”

 

“Me too” Jaebum agreed.

 

“So, wanna head back? Youngjae is waiting.” Mark started to get up but Jaebum stopted him.

 

“Actually can we talk about Jinyoung?”

 

Mark didn't respond, but he sat back down. He stared at the table.

 

“Have you talked to him since that morning?” Jaebum carefully inquired.

 

Mark played with the straw in his almost empty drink, eyes avoiding JB's. “Not really. He tried to talk to me, but I shot him down.”

 

“He's really sorry.”

 

“Good for him...”

 

“Can't you at least listen to what he has to say?”

 

Mark snorted and looked up, his voice a little harsher than usual, “Why? So he can break my heart some more? Call me names? Dammit JB, I was... _am_ so in love with him and for a moment I thought he felt the same, but not only did he not, he treated me like crap after...after I told him. It hurts to even look at him right now.”

 

“What if he does feel the same way?”

 

“Yeah right, if he did why would he treat me like that?”

 

Jaebum hesitated for a moment. It would be better if Jinyoung spoke to Mark about this, but if Mark wasn't going to listen to Jinyoung and if telling him this would maybe convince Mark to at least talk to him...Jaebum was sure Jinyoung would forgive him for telling him. He took a deep breath, “All right, I'm going to tell you something. Please understand that I'm not telling you this to excuse Jinyoung's behavior, but it might give you a different...understanding of it.”

 

Mark crossed his arms and waited for Jaebum to start talking.

 

“Do you know what happened between Jinyoung and Shownu a few years ago? Around the time Shownu left the company?”

 

Mark shrugged his shoulders, “I know Jinyoung had a crush on him or something....did he confess and get turned down?”

 

“It was a lot more than just a crush and Shownu did a lot more than just turn him down. Jinyoung was in love with Shownu. He never directly told him and I'm not exactly sure how it all happened at all but...Jinyoung lost his virginity to Shownu. Afterward Shownu told him he wasn't gay and it was a one time thing, a mistake. He also said it wasn't normal for men to have romantic feelings for other men. Shownu left the company the next day without any notice, leaving Jinyoung completely broken and closed off. I found him in bed that night, eyes red and swollen. That's when he told me what had happened. If we hadn't already been friends I don't think we'd be able to be close like we were, since he never let anyone in after that. Not until GOT7. I saw him getting close to all the other members and especially to you, Mark. He's different around you.”

 

Mark didn't say anything. He wasn't sure what to say. Jaebum had been right. The past didn't excuse some of the things Jinyoung had said and done, but it explained a lot. His heart ached for Jinyoung. Part of him couldn't understand why Jinyoung had treated Mark the way that he had if he knew what it felt like to get hurt by someone you're in love was, but another part of him understood that he had treated him the way that he had exactly _because_ he knew what it was like to get hurt by someone you're in love with. He was the one that was scared to get hurt. That is, if JB was right and Jinyoung felt the same way about him. Now what was he supposed to do? Go to him? No, what if JB was somehow wrong and he'd put himself out there again and get hurt, again. Let him come to him? And then what? Forgive and forget everything just like that? Mark wasn't sure if he could do that, but he also wasn't sure that if he didn't give Jinyoung a chance he'd be denying himself something he wanted, so bad.

 

His derailing train of thought was interrupted when his last talk with Minhyuk came to mind. He'd told him that he might get hurt if he told Shownu how he felt, but that loving him in secret was causing him so much pain it might be better to just know. He wouldn't have told him that if he'd known...

 

Mark was ripped from his thoughts when Jaebum opened his mouth again, “Shownu actually showed up at the dorm a few days ago...to talk to Jinyoung.”

 

“What? He did? Do you know what they talked about?”

 

“Apparently Minhyuk confessed his feelings to Shownu and apparently Shownu is going to tell him he feels the same way. I guess he wanted to make amends with Jinyoung before he did...”

 

He felt relieved for Minhyuk's sake, but he couldn't image how Jinyoung must have felt hearing that, “Wow...How...how is Jinyoung?”

 

“In pain. But not because of Shownu, he told me he was actually pretty okay about that whole situation. He's in pain because of what happened between you and him, Mark”

 

Mark averted his eyes again.

 

“I'm not telling you how to feel about him and I'm not saying you have to start a relationship with him or anything, but can't you at least listen to him? For both of your sakes?”

 

Mark nodded absentmindedly, his head was still sort of whirling with all of the information he'd just gotten and the effect it might have on his own feelings about Jinyoung.

 

“Well,” Jaebum said as he stood up, “I think we've talked about everything we needed to talk about. Let's go home. Everybody should be coming home today, so me and Youngjae are going to officially tell the others we're together.”

 

Mark also stood up and wrapped a friendly arm around Jaebum's shoulder, “Good, I'm glad. That way we can all make sure you treat him right and remember you have an awesome boyfriend in case you seem to forget.”

 

Jaebum shrugged his shoulders so Mark's arm fell off, “You don't need to remind me of Youngjae's awesomeness, smart-ass. I know how talented, kind, and funny he is.”

 

“And a great kisser” Mark added as a joke, but seeing JB's glare he quickly added an apologetic, “too soon?”

 

Luckily JB just shook his head with a half-smile, “Way too soon.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought about actually writing the lyrics for the song Jaebum wrote, but...I failed...so I'll leave it to your own imagination, lol. Just assume it was very heartfelt and beautiful and filled with love (enough so that it made Youngjae want to have sex right away...).
> 
> Next chapter Jaebum and Youngjae officially tell the others about their relationship (of course it doesn't really come as a huge surprise anymore lol) and Mark and Jinyoung finally talk! It will be the conclusion of this story arch, but I've decided to continue the story after that.
> 
> comments = <3 + motivation


	18. No more denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum and Youngjae talk to the rest of GOT7 about their relationship. Jinyoung finally let's Mark know how he really feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pfff I've struggled with this one and I'm not sure if I won in the end, lol. I hope you will enjoy this chapter! Please let me know what you think ^^

Jaebum, Youngjae, and Mark arrived at their dorm. Before going in Jaebum turned to Youngjae, “Is it alright if I do most of the talking? It might be the leader side of me talking here, but I feel like I should be the one to actually say the words.” Youngjae nodded with a smile on his face, “I don't think you have to be so nervous you know. I'm pretty sure they figured some stuff out by now, don't you think?”

 

Youngjae gave his boyfriend a quick peck on the cheek and unlocked to front door. They went in and took of their shoes in the hallway. They could hear the noise from the television coming from the living room which meant at least someone was home. “Guys,” Mark said in a hushed voice, “if you don't mind I'm going to my room. I already know about you guys and I won't be able to focus on you right now anyway if Jinyoung is in the room...”

 

Youngjae took his hand and gave it a little squeeze, “Of course. We understand.”

 

Jaebum gave a quick nod, “Youngjae. I'll see if everybody's home and gather them in the living room, okay?”

 

Jaebum found Jackson and Yugyeom on the couch watching a variety show. Apparently BamBam was in the shower and Jinyoung was in his room. Jaebum asked them to wait there and went to get Jinyoung. He knocked on his bedroom door and went in after Jinyoung asked who it was, “Hey, can you join me and the rest in the living room? Me and Youngjae have an announcement we want everyone to hear. Jaebum saw the hesitation in Jinyoung's eyes at the mention of _everyone_ so he added, “Mark went to his room. He already heard what we're going to say.”

 

Jinyoung got up, ready to follow his friend to the living room, but before he walked out JB turned back and added, “oh by the way, I've had a talk with Mark about some things and he told me you guys haven't talked yet because he didn't want to? I think you should try again. I'm not sure if he's ready to talk to you, but I think he might be ready to listen.” After that he walked out, yelled at a naked BamBam to put some clothes on and to hurry up, and sat down next to Youngjae who had saved him a spot on the couch.

 

Jaebum looked around the room. Yugyeom looked nervous, as if he was expecting the worst kind of news. Jinyoung was leaning against the wall, eyes sometimes wandering to the closed door behind which Mark was. BamBam was plucking at his damp hair. Jackson seemed to be unable to decide if he was supposed to be nervous, exited, or angry. Jaebum took a final deep breath before he took Youngjae's hand in his own, and announced in a clear steady voice, “Guys. Me and Youngjae are together. We're a couple. We're in love and we have sex.”

 

Jinyoung was now fully focused on the couple on the couch. He couldn't say he was surprised by this information, but he was surprised JB would just announce to the whole room he had sex with Youngjae. Clearly so was Youngjae because his mouth fell half open, “So I guess you really wanted to tell them _everything_ , huh.”

 

BamBam sat up straight, “Wow dude, TMI! We basically all already knew something was up, but still!”

 

He was interrupted by Jackson who had jumped up and was now sort of running back and forth around the living room screaming in a high pitched voice. Jaebum followed him with his eyes, a startled expression on his face, not sure if Jackson was happy or if the information had caused him to lose his mind. Finally Jackson approached Youngjae and Jaebum and body flopped on top of them in what was, probably, supposed to be some sort of hug. He got pushed of by Jaebum and he started barraging them with questions, “This isn't a prank right!? AAAH! Since when? How did it happen? Who made the first move? Why? Where? Can we still physically harass you on stage for fan service?

 

“Jackson!” Jinyoung interjected, “Maybe you can stop asking so many questions and let them breath for a moment? They just made a pretty big announcement.”

 

Jackson gasped dramatically and quickly returned to his seat, “I'm sorry guys! I'm just so overwhelmed with this news!”

 

“Really?” BamBam asked casually, “Maybe it's because me and Yugyeom overheard that they made out or something but I'm not at all shocked about this.” He shrugged his shoulder before his face suddenly turned serious, “Wait...during that scream-fest you had with Mark he said something about you doing it in the bathroom...does that mean you...you two” he said pointing at Jaebum and Youngjae, “did you actually _do_ _it_ in the bathroom... _our_ bathroom...the one I was just in?! Oh my god, where else did you two have sex!” he jolted up from his seat and looked around in panic, “On the couch? In the kitchen? On the balcony!?”

 

While Jaebum looked absolutely horrified Youngjae furrowed his eyebrows together like he was seriously thinking about it, “Does oral count?”

 

“Youngjae!” both Jaebum and Jackson yelled out. Youngjae laughed until Jackson grabbed his head and covered his mouth, “Jaebum what have you done to him!”

 

Youngjae's cheerful laughter still managed to fill the room (despite Jackson's attempts to quiet him) and was soon joined by BamBam's. Jackson couldn't help to let out his own high pitch laugh and Jaebum sighed while shaking his head with a smile on his face.

 

“So,” Jaebum asked hesitantly when the laughter had died down, “you guys are...okay with this?”

 

BamBam shrugged his shoulders again, “Would I prefer it if I didn't have to live in a place where I don't know in what places two of my friends might have had sex? Sure. But as far as you two being a couple I don't care.”

 

Jaebum turned to Jackson, who had pulled Youngjae almost on his lap and was clinging on to him, “Jackson?”

 

Jackson sniffed and hugged Youngjae tighter, “Your children would be beautiful.”

 

Jaebum furrowed his eyebrows together, “I guess that's a yes...”

 

“You know I'm alright with it.” Jinyoung said before JB even asked, so he turned his attention to the youngest of the group, “Yugyeom? You haven't said anything yet and-...are you crying!?”

 

“I'm not crying!” Yugyeom said, but he hurriedly wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

 

“LOL! He's totally crying!” BamBam yelled with glee in his voice, pointing at his best friend.

 

“Shut up! I'm not crying! I'm just relieved.”

 

“Relieved?” Jaebum asked as he got up to get closer to Yugyeom.

 

“After that big fight I thought you were going to announce we were going to break up or something...wait...” Yugyeom looked around with worry on his face, “where's Mark? Shouldn't he be here too? I know he was involved in the fight...” he cautiously cast a look on Jinyoung, who had started to look uncomfortable the moment Mark's absence was mentioned, “Mark isn't leaving, is he?”

 

Jaebum ruffled the younger's hair, “Mark is in his room. He already knows about me and Youngjae and he just wanted to be alone for a bit. We've already talked and we're not fighting anymore, okay?”

 

Yugyeom's eyes shot to Jinyoung and back as if he was afraid to ask him about it. Jaebum also cast a glance at Jinyoung before he smiled softly at Yugyeom, “Don't worry. Mark's not going to leave. Everything will be alright.”

 

Yugyeom nodded. Then he looked at Jaebum and Youngjae, a smile crept on his face, “Congratulations. I'm really happy for you guys!”

 

Youngjae smiled back. Jaebum's face turned red and he threw an arm around Yugyeom's neck pulling him closer.

 

“I have a question.” BamBam said as he raised his hand, “Are you guys going to share a room again now? Or is JB staying with Jackson and Youngjae with Mark?”

 

Jaebum released his grip on Yugyeom's neck and crossed eyes with his boyfriend, “eeh...we haven't really ta-”

 

Before he could finish he was interrupted by Jackson, “Wait a minute. If it's question time again you should answer mine first! I want to know when where and how! Who is the most romantic? Do you give each other gifts? Do you have pet names for each other? Do you sometimes wear each other's underwear? Do you think I'm hot, you know, from a dude's perspective?”

 

Jaebum desperately looked around for Jinyoung to enlist his help to control Jackson, but, to his surprise, discovered that he had disappeared, “Where did Jinyoung go?”

 

They all looked around for a moment before Jackson targeted him again, “Don't change the subject Jaebum hyung!”

 

None of them had noticed that while Jaebum and Youngjae were getting asked all kinds of questions Jinyoung had decided to slip away. Into Mark's room.

 

<>

 

Mark sat up on his bed when the bedroom door suddenly opened. He sat up straighter when he saw it was Jinyoung walking in. Jinyoung entered and closed the door. They stared at each other in silence before Jinyoung started talking, “I'm sorry for just coming in here. I'll leave if you really want me to, but I was hoping we could talk now. Or just let _me_ talk, please?”

 

Mark didn't say anything, but he nodded his head. He could feel his heart beating in his throat.

 

“Okay,” Jinyoung said more to himself than to Mark. He walked towards Mark's bed so he could properly look him in the eye. He took a few moments to steady his breathing before he started saying all the things he wanted, needed, to say to him. “Mark. I know it's too late by now, but I want to be honest about my feelings for you for once. No more denial.” He made sure he was staring into Mark's eyes, “I'm in love with you. I've probably been in love with you even before we had sex. The thought of being in love with you and, even worse, you being in love with me, terrified me. Because being in love and having someone love you back means being vulnerable and being vulnerable means you can get hurt. If someone loves you it means they can stop loving you.” Jinyoung felt tears pricking in the corners of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. “But I'm in love with you, Mark. I'm in love with you and I want to be with you. I don't want to be with someone else and I don't want you to be with someone else. I want you to be with me. Not just for one night, not just for sex. I want to give you all of me and I want all of you that you'll give me. I know nothing can excuse the way I spoke to you, but please know that I was only hurting you because I was afraid of getting hurt myself. I know that's extremely selfish and solves nothing, but there it is. I know it's too late, but I needed to tell you this. I'm sorry. About everything that happened between us.”

 

Jinyoung didn't think he could keep it together if he said anything else or stayed any longer so he turned around and wanted to leave, but something stopped him. Mark's hand, wrapped around his wrist, stopped him. Jinyoung turned back around, eyes wide and confused. Mark stood up so they were face to face. He hadn't let go of Jinyoung's wrist yet. Jinyoung wasn't sure if his heart had stopped or if it was just going so fast that he couldn't feel it anymore. He tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry.

 

“It's not too late, Jinyoungie,” Mark's voice said in a whisper. Jinyoung opened his mouth but no words came out. “Did you mean everything you just said, Jinyoung? About being in love with me? About wanting to be with me? Will you still mean that even after I say I still feel that way too?”

 

Jinyoung managed to squeeze a hoarse _yes_ out of his throat. Mark gently placed his hands on either side of Jinyoung's face. Jinyoung was frozen. Mark softly brought their lips together. Jinyoung unfroze. Tears he'd been holding back finally managed to escape onto his cheeks. Mark pulled back and wiped away Jinyoung's tears. They looked at each other and they both let out an awkward chuckle. “Jinyoung. I want to you to know that Jaebum told me about what happened with you and Shownu.”

 

Jinyoung pulled away from Mark, “Everything?”

 

“I think so...” Mark replied, hesitation clear in his voice.

 

“And now you forgive me for how I treated you because you feel bad for me? Out of pity?”

 

“Jinyoung, of course not! Please don't start looking for reasons why this can't happen, okay? I just wanted to be honest. Knowing what happened to you just made me feel like I understand you better, you know? I understand the things you did better...Don't get me wrong you were still an asshole for making me feel bad about having feelings for you and for yelling at me the way that you did, but...I'm willing to put that in the past and move forward.”

 

Jinyoung got a little closer, “Really?”

 

Mark nodded, “Really. And...” he added with a sigh, “I understand we _weren't_ dating so _technically_ I guess you were free to sleep with whoever you wanted...even if it made me feel like crap”

 

Jinyoung shook his head and he took Mark's hands in his own, “No. That was a shit move and I'm really sorry you had to listen to Minhyuk talk about how me and him...” Jinyoung lifted one of his hands and stroked Mark's cheek with the back of his fingers, “I'm so sorry I made you feel so terrible. From now on I only want to make you feel good things. If you'll let me.”

 

Mark eyed him suspiciously, “Park Jinyoung, are you hitting on me with your talk about _good things_?”

 

The hint of a smile pulling on the corners of Mark's mouth betrayed his playfulness and Jinyoung clicked his tongue in response, “Was it obvious?” Mark glared at him with a twinkle in his eyes and Jinyoung's mouth jerked up in a smirk, “Was it working?”

 

Mark pulled him in close and joined their lips together. Jinyoung wanted to get even closer but forgot the proximity to Mark's bed and he caused them to stumble over onto the bed, Jinyoung landing clumsily on top of Mark who let out a high pitched giggle. Jinyoung propped himself up and looked down on Mark's beautiful smiling face. He also smiled. “Sorry.” He was going to lean in for another kiss when he changed his mind and pulled back, “Actually I can't do this. I can't just kiss you and fool around with you on your bed like this.” He stood back up and looked at Mark, his expression dead serious. So serious it had Mark worried for a moment. “Mark Tuan. We started all this with sex. Amazing sex that I ruined by being an idiot in denial.” Mark raised an eyebrow, wondering why Jinyoung was all of a sudden behaving like he was in a speech contest or something, but he continued to listen. “I do hope and fully plan to have a lot more amazing sex with you in the future, but this time I want to make sure we do it right. So, Mark Tuan. The next time we have sex, will you be my boyfriend?” He looked at Mark with an intense stare before he quickly added, “eh I mean, not just then, I don't know when we'll be having sex. I meant, do you want to be my boyfriend starting from right now?” A blush crept on his face.

 

A smug smile appeared on Mark's face, “First, repeat after me: you're in love with me.”

 

Jinyoung smirked back at him, “You're in love with me.”

 

Jinyoung yelped when Mark grabbed his arms and pulled him back onto the bed, “You know that's not what I meant!” Their lips touched in a quick kiss and Mark grabbed Jinyoung's face, “You're in love with me?”

 

Jinyoung smiled and nodded and placed another quick kiss on Mark's lips, “Very much so. And you're in love with me?”

 

Mark also smiled softly, “I am. Boyfriend.”

 

Moments later they both sat on the bed, backs leaning against the wall, Mark with his head on Jinyoung's shoulder, fingers laced together. They could occasionally hear voices coming from the living room, but they hardly seemed to notice. “Hey Jinyoung?” Mark asked with a quiet voice.

 

“Hm?”

 

“Just so you know...I didn't sleep with _any_ of the people you thought I slept with. The furthest I got was a two-minute make-out with Youngjae until he started crying...”

 

Jinyoung gave Mark's hand a squeeze and he stroked it with his thumb, “I'm sorry I said those things. I was just a paranoid, jealous emo. You're lucky your boyfriend is much cooler” Mark huffed. Jinyoung chuckled, “People sure tend to kiss you and cry, by the way. What's that all about.” he said playfully and started laughing when Mark straddled him and started tickling his sides, “I'll give you something to cry about, Park Jinyoung!”

 

Their laughter and messing around was interrupted by a loud knock on the door, “Just a friendly reminder that we're all still in the living room, so if you're about to do it or something...please don't” Jaebum's voice said through the door.

 

“I don't know how you and Youngjae have sex but if we were about to do it we wouldn't be laughing this hard!” Jinyoung shouted back. Mark giggled and placed a soft kiss on Jinyoung's lips before he climbed of his lap. He stood up and held out his hand, “Do you want to go get some ice cream?”

 

Jinyoung nodded and joined their hands together. They walked out into the living room. All eyes immediately turned to them, but Jinyoung and Mark went straight to the front door. Jinyoung yelled a quick “we'll be back later, bye guys” before they closed the door behind them and left the rest of the group confused in the living room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaaaay, the time for happy couples has arrived! First I was going to end the whole story here, but since I've been getting positive feedback from people saying they'd like to keep reading I'm going to continue the story. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be finished, because the idea on how to continue is there, but not that worked out yet...
> 
> Originally Markjin was going to do it, but...2jae already did it right after making up and I felt Markjin needs to set a slower pace for a moment because they started this whole mess by jumping into sex.
> 
> So, who's happy about Markjin becoming boyfriends? Will all of the drama that has happened really stay in the past? Who knows...I sure don't!
> 
> side note: why is it always nearly 2 am when I finish a chapter T_T


	19. New worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum and Youngjae are together. Jinyoung and Mark are together. Everybody is adjusting to the new situation and some new issues arise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii~ Enjoy this chapter ^__^

Mark and Jinyoung sat on a bench in the park that was close to their dorm. They'd finished their ice creams and now they were just sitting there, stealing glances, blushing when their eyes met, and laughing shyly like two love struck teenagers. It still felt unreal. Mark was in love with Jinyoung. Jinyoung was in love with Mark. Mark briefly touched Jinyoung's cheek, being cautious of the fact they were in public, and smiled at him when he turned to look at him, “Can we go home now?”

 

“Are you really ready to deal with the others, who are already hyped-up because of Jaebum and Youngjae? I think Jackson might actually explode.” Jinyoung answered with a sigh and a smile.

 

“I'm ready to go home so I can hold your hand and give you kisses and cuddle on your bed.”

 

A dark blush colored Jinyoung's face. He hadn't expected it, but every cute, fluffy thing Mark said to him affected him way more than any sexy talk could. He was just so darn cute. Before Jinyoung had admitted to his feelings he had always forced himself to ignore Mark's cuteness. Well, for the most part anyway. But now that he was allowing himself to give in to the full force of that cuteness he wasn't sure he could actually take it.

 

Mark laughed and stood up from the bench. Jinyoung followed.

 

When they arrived home and opened the door they weren't greeted with shouts, questions, or any of the attention Jinyoung had expected from the other members. They walked into the living room and found them focused on an intense battle of Mario Kart.

 

“Oh my god! Did you see that!?” Jackson yelled, “Youngjae totally threw a banana at Jaebum!”

 

“Relax Jackson,” BamBam laughed, “I'm sure he's used to Youngjae's banana by now!”

 

Jinyoung looked on as JB lost the game because he lost focus when he kicked BamBam in the shin. No-one even bother to look at him or Mark. Jinyoung knew he should be glad they all seemed happy and weren't bothering him and Mark with questions, but he'd expected at least _some_ attention. He huffed and grabbed Mark's hand. He dragged him to an empty chair close to the TV, motioned him to sit down and sat down on his lap. Mark was a bit surprised by Jinyoung's sudden need for PDA, but he didn't question it. He just happily wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and leaned his head on his shoulder. Jinyoung coughed. Wasn't anyone going to say _anything_?

 

Jackson leaned in closer to JB, who was again fully focused on the game, and whispered, “Can we acknowledge they're in the room or can't we talk to them at all?”

 

Jaebum would have facepalmed if he wasn't holding a controller, but he sighed instead, “Jackson. I just told you guys to leave them alone and not ask them questions about their relationship unless they brought it up.”

 

Jackson nodded and let out a soft _oh right_ before he focused his attention on the couple on the chair. “Hey guys, when did you two get home? Want to join our Mario Kart battle? It's intense.”

 

Mark smiled, “What do you think Jinyoung? Up to beating Jackson's ass in Mario Kart?” In a whisper he added, “We can cuddle on your bed later.”

 

“Now wait a minute!” Jackson yelled out, “I want Jinyoung on my team! Wang gae...” he looked at Jinyoung with anticipation. “Wang gae...”

 

Jinyoung hid a smile behind his hand, but answered, “Park gae...”

 

Jackson jumped up and dragged Jinyoung over to the couch. They spent the night playing games and laughing. It was the best vibe the dorm had been in for weeks. It was rare for all of them to be together like this and the last time had been when all the fighting had happened. It wasn't just Mark and Jinyoung or Jaebum and Youngjae who had been affected by that fight. Now that those four had worked things out the other three felt a weight lifted off their shoulders as well. It wasn't until it was getting late and Jaebum suggested it was time for bed when the atmosphere got a little awkward. “Uhh, so...” Jinyoung started, but Mark, feeling he didn't really know what to say, grabbed his hand, “I'm going to sleep in Jinyoung's room tonight. We're dating now so that's going to happen sometimes.” Before BamBam could make a dirty comment he added, “don't worry, we're going to _sleep_.”

 

Youngjae smiled at Mark and Jinyoung. He was happy they worked things out. He was sure he could talk to Mark and get all the juicy details some other time. He walked over to Jaebum, “That means you can sleep in my room tonight, if you want.” he got closer and whispered in his ear, “ _We_ don't have to sleep _._ ”

 

Jaebum coughed loudly, hoping that no-one had heard that, “yes, alright, great. We'll probably figure out how to deal with all the relationship things in our group, but for tonight this all seems to work, yes?”

 

Everyone agreed, albeit Jackson did so reluctantly because that meant he'd be alone in his room. He later climbed into bed with BamBam because he felt lonely.

 

That night Jinyoung slept in Mark's arms, feeling warm and content. He hadn't slept this good in forever. The next morning he woke up with a smile on his face. Mark's arm still loosely wrapped around him. Jinyoung opened his eyes and wanted to turn to face Mark, so he could admire his beautiful face, until he noticed there was someone standing in the door opening.

 

“Jackson!?”

 

Jackson had an affectionate look in his eyes and he let out a long sigh as he stared at the couple on the bed.

 

“You guys are so cute. Perfect. Never fight again.”

 

“Get out!”

 

Jackson smiled and sighed again before he turned to leave, “I still have to stare at Youngjae and Jaebum sleeping anyway.”

 

“Wazhappenin?” Mark slurred, rubbing his eyes, only half-awake. Jinyoung rolled over so he was facing him and smiled sweetly, “Nothing. Just Jackson being creepily happy for us, I guess.” He tenderly brushed some hair out of Mark's face, “Good morning.”

 

Mark smiled back lazily, “mornin'” he leaned over to place a kiss on Jinyoung's lips but Jinyoung's eyes opened in shock and he pushed at Mark's chest. He had meant to push Mark away, but seeing as Mark was already with his back against the wall he ended up pushing himself away and off the bed.

 

“A-are you okay? What are you doing?” Mark sat up and stared at Jinyoung on the floor.

 

“You tried to kiss me!”

 

“So!?”

 

“I haven't even brushed my teeth yet!”

 

Mark fell down back onto the bed laughing, “You're adorable!”

 

Jinyoung pouted and stood up, “am not...shut up...”

 

He walked out of his bedroom, followed by Mark's loving stare, and was just in time to see JB push Jackson out of Youngjae's bedroom and slam the door in his face.

 

“Ah, come on! I promise I won't climb in bed with you again! How was I supposed to know Youngjae wasn't wearing any pants?!”

 

When Jinyoung was done in the bathroom, face washed and teeth brushed ready for a kiss, he walked out into the living room where Yugyeom and BamBam were now on the couch looking at Yugyeom's computer screen. Mark was leaning on the back of the couch, also looking until he felt Jinyoung's hands on his waist. He turned around and wrapped his arms around Jinyoung's neck, “Now can I give you a kiss?”

 

“...I guess...”

 

Mark looked at Jinyoung and he sighed, but there was a hint of a smile on his face, “You want me to brush my teeth first, don't you?”

 

“Well...”

 

“Fine! Wait here!” he said as he unwrapped his arms from Jinyoung's neck. He pinched his peach, making Jinyoung jump in surprise, and went to the bathroom.

 

Jinyoung kept his eyes on the bathroom door, but decided to bestow some attention on to the two youngest on the couch, “What are you two doing? And where did Jackson go?”

 

“He had to leave for Hong Kong again today, remember? He just left. And Yugyeom is looking at balls, hehe.”

 

Jinyoung's head turned so fast he almost felt dizzy, “Excuse me!?”

 

“ _Bowling_ balls!” Yugyeom quickly explained, “I've been going bowling more lately and I'm thinking of getting my own ball.” BamBam opened his mouth but Yugyeom was quick to correct himself, “My own _bowling_ ball.”

 

Jinyoung let out a relieved sigh. He wasn't ready to think of his precious, ridiculously tall, son in an actual sexual context. Luckily he was only going bowling with his friend. His attention was averted back to the direction of the bathroom when he heard the door opening and Mark walked out. They both got stupid grins on their faces as he got closer. They joined their lips together in a sweet kiss. They ignored BamBam's “eww, go make-out in your room!” and broke apart to look at each other and softly whisper good mornings.

 

They were staring at each other, still with stupid grins on their faces, when Jaebum walked out, hair messy. He was followed by a sleepy looking Youngjae who was immediately approached by an enthusiastic Coco. Youngjae picked her up and walked over to the couch and sat next to Yugyeom. He yawned and put his head on Yugyeom's shoulder. “You sure seem tired Youngjae hyung,” BamBam started, “I don't think looking at Yugyeom's bowling balls is going to wake you up. Or did you already get enough of balls last ni-”

 

“O-kay! Who wants coffee?” Jaebum immediately interrupted. He would have to talk to BamBam about his inappropriate jokes later, but after dealing with Jackson earlier he really needed caffeine first. He went into the kitchen and was joined by Jinyoung who offered to help.

 

“I saw me and Mark weren't the only ones Jackson had interest in this morning?”

 

Jaebum shook his head, “You too, huh? After I kicked him out the first time he got back in and now he's mad at me.”

 

Jinyoung looked at him confused, “Why is Jackson mad at you? He can't be mad you didn't want him to stare at you while you're sleeping.”

 

“No...he said I stole Youngjae's innocence. Which is untrue and ridiculous by the way!”

 

“Well...sometimes Youngjae does randomly say some pretty not so innocent things.”

 

“That's not my fault! He does that on his own! You won't believe how he talks in bed sometimes!”

 

“I don't want to know. Besides, the others just need to adjust to the idea of you two as a couple.”

 

Jaebum let out a deep sigh, “Yeah I guess, but, ugh. This is part of the reason I didn't want to tell anyone! BamBam keeps making dick jokes, Yugyeom is nice about it but kind of awkward and Jackson goes from being mad at me for having sex with Youngjae to squealing, in a pitch I think only dogs can hear, about us being in love.”

 

Jinyoung gave his friend and encouraging pat on the back, “You have to admit though. We have some pretty amazing people in our group. Dick jokes and inappropriate staring aside, they've reacted pretty great.” Jaebum smiled and nodded.

 

Over the next few weeks the couples and the other members learned to adapt to the new dynamics better. Mark and Youngjae stayed roommates, but sometimes they would sleep in bed with their boyfriends. Jackson learned about boundaries. Sort of. Jaebum still wasn't very comfortable showing _boyfriend affection,_ as he called it, in front of the others and Youngjae respected that, keeping their interactions to a quick kiss on the cheek or an arm casually around the other's shoulder. If Jaebum wanted to cuddle on the couch in the living room or hold his hand he was happy to oblige, but he let _him_ decide what he was comfortable with. Mark and Jinyoung were a bit less subtle and the others quickly became used to Mark back-hugging Jinyoung when he was making coffee or Jinyoung's hand casually on Mark's thigh during dinner. They hadn't had many interactions with other groups lately and neither couple had informed many others of their relationships. Outside of the dorm they didn't engage in any more skinship than they already had pre-relationships. Overall, things were good.

 

Things stayed good for a while. They were busy preparing for their next comeback. That would mean music shows, variety show appearances and they had a few concerts planned. The music and variety shows meant meeting with a lot of other people and groups. Jaebum had started to feel anxious. All of a sudden he wasn't sure how to act around Youngjae when they were with other people. Did he want to tell people and if so who and how? But, Jaebum had learned from his past mistakes and instead of going to Jinyoung with his concerns he decided to talk to his boyfriend about it.

 

Youngjae took Jaebum's hand in his own and smiled at him. Jaebum had just told him what was bothering him about the upcoming music shows and the other idols, “Please don't be mad at me for feeling this way. I don't want to hide you or us...I just...I don't know how-”

 

“Relax,” Youngjae gently interrupted him, “I never expected us to make a big announcement to the world or anything. Not everybody has to know. I just want us to be able to tell our friends. When it comes up or something. Or when someone wants to hook-up backstage and I can just tell them I have a boyfriend instead of coming up with some lame excuse.”

 

Jaebum raised an eyebrow, “ _Hook-up backstage_? People actually do that? And why would you need an excuse, how about telling those pervs that it's inappropriate!”

 

“Eehh...”

 

Jaebum's mouth fell open, “Wow, wait a minute. Have _you_...backstage!? W-with who!? When?”

 

 _Oh shit_ Youngjae thought to himself, he may have just opened up a can of worms, “J-just once!...or twice.”

 

“With Twice!?”

 

“No, not _with_ Twice! Twice as in two times!...and once during an ISAC” _Shut up, Youngjae_.

 

“So what, whenever we have a show or an event with other groups you just hook-up with random people?”

 

“Of course not! I just...sometimes things just sort of happened, okay?”

 

Jaebum stood up from where he was sitting and paced across the room, “Great. Now whenever I see you talking to another male idol I'm going to be thinking _was it him, did Youngjae have sex with that guy_.”

 

“Please don't be jealous! You mean so much more to me than anyone ever has!” Youngjae stood up and blocked JB's path to stop him from pacing, “you know that, right?”

 

Jaebum looked at his boyfriend's innocent face, “I know that. I do, but...”

 

Youngjae crossed his arms and looked him straight in the eye, “Listen. I'm not going to apologize for the fact that I had a sex life before you and you can't make me feel bad about it. But. I understand how you feel, I guess. I'll make you a deal. I don't want to be the type of guy to just blab about who they slept with, but if this is going to be a problem we can talk about it. But only after you've taken some time to think about what exactly you want to know and if you really think it will make you feel better if you do know. And you have to understand that anything I tell you, any names I mention, is completely confidential. Okay?”

 

Jaebum didn't respond immediately, thinking about it, but eventually he said, “alright, I'll think about what I want to know.” he leaned in a placed a quick but gently kiss on Youngjae's lips, “and I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I know you've been with others before me. I try not to be jealous or insecure about it, but sometimes I can't help it.”

 

Youngjae stroked Jaebum's cheek and smiled, “I know.” Then he backed away from Jaebum, “I have to walk Coco now. See you later?” Jaebum nodded in response. “Oh, by the way,” Youngjae added as he was putting on his shoes, “my mom called this morning to tell me she and my dad are coming to one of our concerts! I know you've already met them a few times, but I figured I can re-introduce you as my boyfriend this time. I would really appreciate it. Please think about it.” With a wave he left and the front door closed. But Jaebum didn't move from where he was standing.

 

 _Parents_. Of course. At some point they were going to tell _parents_ about their relationship. With all his worrying about other idols, he'd forgotten about parents. He wasn't actually all that worried about Youngjae's parents. He knew that Youngjae's parents already knew their son was gay and it's not like they were strangers to him. They always seemed to like him. But the mention of Youngjae's parents reminded JB that his mother had also called him saying they'd come to one of their concerts. He hadn't thought about telling them about him and Youngjae though. As far as he knew they had no idea he was gay to begin with and, honestly, he wasn't sure they would take it well. At all.

 

Thoughts about Youngjae having all kinds of sex with all kinds of idols in all kinds of places were pushed away by thoughts about telling his parents about him and Youngjae. Telling them automatically meant he would come out to them. To his parents. Who where coming to see them in a few weeks. _Shit_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woops, I can't seem to write even one chapter without a little bit of drama...^^;;  
> I guess I have to figure out who exactly Youngjae has hooked-up with in the past, lol (I have some ideas, but any suggestions are welcome!).
> 
> Again I finish a chapter in the middle of the night (it's 2:40 am here...)...please comment to keep me alive T_T (or, you know, because you enjoy the story or something lol).


	20. The talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark asks Jaebum for some advice. Youngjae and Jaebum have a talk about Youngjae's sexy past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I've been feeling some writers block...and what even is this chapter. It's way too late and I haven't re-read it so it might be full of mistakes but I wanted to post it T_T

Their practice and recording schedule had been crazy and Jaebum had managed to push the issue of coming out to his parents to the back of his mind so he could focus on their comeback. He did, however , feel the hot breath of their first scheduled music show performance on the back of his neck. He was going to have to talk to Youngjae before that. He'd given it a fair amount of thought and had decided he did want to know who Youngjae had hooked up with. He figured he'd be able to control his jealous and somewhat possessive tendencies a lot better if he knew exactly who to be jealous of. He knew he didn't own Youngjae and he knew he had a past, but the thought that it could be _anyone_ out there was driving him crazy.

 

They'd finished their final dance practice before they were going to record the mv for their new song. Jinyoung still had other work to do and Jackson was taking the two youngest out for dinner (mainly because BamBam kept bugging him to buy them meat). Mark, Youngjae, and Jaebum had just returned home. Jaebum had decided he was going to talk to Youngjae tonight. He figured it was better to do it with less people around, less chance for interruptions. Before Youngjae could disappear behind his computer to play an online game JB gently grabbed his arm, “Can we talk for a bit? In private?” He gestured to the door of the room he shared with Jackson.

 

Youngjae smiled and nodded, “Sure, but could you get some snacks or something from the kitchen? I'm kinda hungry. I'll wait in the room.”

 

When Jaebum went into the kitchen to roam around for food he was followed by Mark. “Hey JB...can I ask you something?” Mark asked while fumbling with his sleeves. “Has Jinyoung talked to you recently about...about our relationship?”

 

Jaebum closed the fridge and looked at his friend who seemed nervous, “No, not really. Is something wrong?”

 

“Not exactly wrong...it's just that...well...we haven't...yet”

 

“Haven't what?”

 

A faint blush painted Mark's face, “Sex...we haven't had sex since we got together”

 

“Oh...” Jaebum felt himself growing uncomfortable with this situation. Was this how Jinyoung had felt all those times he'd talked to him about Youngjae? He cleared his throat and said, “Anyway, he hasn't said anything to me about it. Maybe you should just talk to him? Have you tried making a move?”

 

“Well...I think so...” Mark replied pensively.

 

“You think so? You don't know if you've made a move?”

 

“I mean...we sleep in the same bed a lot and we make-out and I grab his ass when we do, but he never really seems to want to take it further and I don't want to push him so I haven't taken it any further either. Do you think I should talk to him or maybe make a bolder move or something?”

 

JB suddenly leaned with one hand against the counter and pressed the other against his forehead as if he had a headache.

 

Mark quickly walked over to see if he was alright,“W-what's wrong? Are you okay?”

 

“I'm having flashbacks...” Jaebum groaned.

 

“Flashbacks? Of what?”

 

“To me asking for advice from Jinyoung...only now you're me.”

 

“Oh that's not good! No offense, but I don't want to be you when it comes to this.”

 

Jaebum would feel offended, but he had to agree. He took a breath, straightened his back and looked Mark in the eye, “No you do not want to be me in this case. So here's what you're going to do. You're going to make it clear to Jinyoung that you're ready for sex. You will also make clear that you'll wait for him if he's not ready yet, but that you would like to know what's bothering him so that you'll understand him better. Don't pressure him. I mean, as far as I know he hasn't really been with someone, like in a real relationship so maybe that's wh-.”

 

“That's it!” Mark exclaimed excitedly.

 

“What?”

 

“We started off all wrong! We haven't even really been on a proper date. We went out for ice cream and stuff, but we used to do that all the time anyway. I'm going to think of a wonderful first real date instead of focusing on the sex part!” Mark enthusiastically slapped Jaebum on the shoulder, “thanks man!”

 

JB wasn't exactly sure how what he said had helped Mark reach this conclusion, but he smiled back anyway. Mark was about to walk away when Jaebum stopped him,“Hey Mark? Can I ask you something?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Have you...have you told your parents about you and Jinyoung?”

 

“No, not yet. It's still so new and I'd rather be together a bit longer before I tell them, you know. Why do you ask?”

 

“Youngjae's parents are coming to our final concert and so are mine...Youngjae wants to re-introduce me to his parents as his boyfriend and I'm okay with that but...I'm not so sure about my own parents to be honest. At least Youngjae's parents already know that he's gay. My parents don't know.”

 

“Are you worried about how they're going to react?” Mark asked gently.

 

Jaebum nodded and furrowed his eyebrows,“Yeah...They might not take it well. Especially my dad. I mean, he says he's proud of me now, but I know it took a lot for him to accept me becoming an idol. He doesn't like a lot of the things that come with it.”

 

“Isn't that the case for most parents though? It's a lot to know that your child is in the spotlight and under constant scrutiny and attention, both positive and negative.”

 

“The parts he had a problem with is stuff like the way we dress or use make-up, the fanservice...the _girly men_ as he calls it...”

 

Mark bit his lower lip, thinking. “You know, you can never really tell with parents! It's different when it's their own kid.”

 

“Yeah, worse.”

 

“Not necessarily! I know people that didn't come out to their parents for a long time because they were scared, but when they finally did their parents told them they were glad they had, because they felt it brought them closer together. Like keeping that part from them didn't allow them to fully know their child.” Mark sighed and gently placed a hand on Jaebum's arm, “I don't know how your parents are going to react, but what if they're fine with it? Wouldn't you want to share that part of your life with them? Otherwise you'll always have to introduce Youngjae as 'my group member Youngjae'.”

 

“He won't like that...I don't really like that either...” Jaebum said softly, more to himself than to Mark.

 

“Listen JB, I love Youngjae and he would love it if you could tell your parents about him, but I don't think you should come out to your parents just because Youngjae wants you to, okay? Make sure it's what you want as well.”

 

After their talk Mark took Coco and went to Jinyoung's room. Jaebum entered his own room and found Youngjae on his bed. He handed Youngjae the snack he'd found in the kitchen and pulled up a chair to sit down in front of him. Youngjae looked at him, he had half expected JB had plans to make out in here now that Jackson wasn't home yet. Jaebum took a breath and started talking.

 

“First, I want to talk about our parents. About us meeting them as boyfriends.”

 

Youngjae sat up straight to make sure Jaebum could see he was really listening and waited for him to continue.

 

“I'm totally fine with us telling your parents. They already know you're gay so it's not like it's a huge coming out thing. I mean, they don't know I'm gay too, but if they're fine with their son being gay why wouldn't they be fine with his boyfriend being gay? I mean, me, why wouldn't they be fine with _me_ being gay. Of course your boyfriend is going to be gay. Or bi, I guess he could be bi. But I'm not. So he's gay. I mean I'm gay.” Why was he getting so nervous? He kept rambling on about being gay until he felt Youngjae's hand on his own. He looked at him and calmed himself with a deep breath before he continued. “Now my own parents...as you know they don't know I'm gay. So me telling them that you're my boyfriend means I'd be coming out to them. I've thought about it a lot and I want them to know that we're together and how happy you make me. So I think we should tell them after our final concert.”

 

Youngjae gently squeezed Jaebum's hand, “Are you sure? I realize before that I said it would mean a lot to me, and it does, but I want you to be comfortable with it too.”

 

Jaebum nodded and gave him a weak smile, “I think it has to happen and if I wait it's just going to eat at me. I'm not entirely sure how they're going to react, but it can't be too bad...I know they love me and they've supported me. Even my dad who didn't really want me to get into this business now has one of our album covers as his screensaver. I still need to think about how I want to do it, but we can think about it before the time comes, okay?”

 

Youngjae nodded, “Okay”

 

Jaebum leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips.

 

“So...” Youngjae said and a smirk appeared on his face, “do yo want to make out on Jackson's bed?”

 

Jaebum smirked back, “why on Jackson's bed? You're already sitting on mine.”

 

Youngjae shrugged his shoulders, “I just think it'll be fun.”

 

“I'd love to but...if you don't mind can we talk some more? We have our first music show in two days and I was wondering if we could talk about that thing we were going to talk about...”

 

Youngjae leaned back onto the bed, “you mean about my relationship and hook-up past?”

 

“Y-yeah...”

 

“Okay. Ask me anything.” Youngjae said coolly, “but remember, confidentiality is key here.”

 

Jaebum nodded and began, “So...you mentioned before you lost your virginity when you were 15. Is that true?”

 

“It is. Obviously it wasn't someone from the idol business so I doubt we'd run into him backstage at a music show...wow that would be weird, I'd be totally surprised! Anyway, you can ask me about it if you want.”

 

Jaebum hadn't thought this through as well as he thought. He had decided he wanted to know who of their fellow idols had a past with Youngjae, just so he didn't have to get on edge everytime someone put his arm around him or gave him a certain look, but this wasn't even someone they might meet at a work-thing. “Ehm...can you tell me what your relationship was like? I don't need all the details, just a quick rundown?”

 

“He was my friend.” Youngjae started explaining, “I used to sneak into his school dormitory at night to hang out and secretly eat chicken. One of those nights the vibe was different and we ended up kissing. After that we kept taking it further until we finally had sex. We never really said it out loud, but I consider him to be my first boyfriend. It sort of ended naturally when I moved to Seoul.”

 

Jaebum nodded and collected his thoughts for a moment. _All right, this information hadn't been bad. Youngjae just had a first (boy)friend with whom he first explored his sexuality. Fine._ “Okay, so then you moved to Seoul...”

 

“Right. Well, for a while I was just focused on developing my skills and getting ready for debut so not much happened in that period. Although I did go on a few dates with Junhong, eh Zelo from B.A.P. We had some things in common, like how we're both from Mokpo, and it felt nice to talk to him I guess. But I really needed to focus on GOT7, I already felt like I was way behind because I was barely a trainee, so it didn't go anywhere.”

 

 _Zelo. I suppose it makes sense he liked hanging out with someone from Mokpo when he had just moved_. “So you two didn't...?”

 

“Sex? No. We kissed once, but that was all very chaste.”

 

Jaebum nodded. He thought he was handling himself very well so far.

 

Jaebum didn't need to ask anything for Youngjae to continue talking. “I don't know if this counts as anything, but I went out with Nichkhun on what might have been a date right after our debut.”

 

“Nichkhun!? As in 2PM's Nichkhun?” Jaebum was _very_ surprised to hear this one. He was a big 2PM fan and it rubbed him the wrong way that their seniors from the same company would date someone from his group, “What do you mean it _might_ have been a date?”

 

“It was just one of those things where you don't really know if he's just being nice or if it's more. Nothing happened, but there was a bit of a date-vibe hanging in the air that one time.”

 

“I see...” He was still handling himself very well. Perfectly. So Youngjae might have gone on a date with someone he was a fan of. No big deal. He looked at his boyfriend on the bed across from him and gave him a nod, urging him to continue.

 

“Okay so, the first time I suppose you can say I hooked-up with someone backstage was with Sehun from EXO. I ran into him at a music show and we got to talking. He told me he'd seen Dream Knight and thought it was funny I got those wind blowing powers since his EXO power is wind. The conversation went from talking about blowing and wind to actual blow jobs in a dressing room. Looking back at it, the whole thing was kinda random. We didn't hang out after that or anything. I don't think our personalities are really compatible. We greet each other with courteous nods when we see each other at shows or events, but that's basically it.”

 

Jaebum swallowed. _Sehun_. Suddenly he thought that whole powers concept EXO has was really lame and stupid. He had to put his focus back on Youngjae though, because he was still talking.

 

“Even though me and Sehun never hung out I did get closer to someone else because of him. Yixing, you know Lay, got my phone number from Sehun, I guess he thought we were friends or something. He said he thought I was interesting and we started to talk through messages until we met at a show and he just grabbed my ass. Grabbed might not be the best word actually...he pulled it? Anyway, that doesn't matter. He asked me out and I said yes. We dated for about three months, but we hardly saw each other in that time. We met in a hotel a few times and we texted, but in the end it didn't work.”

 

 _Dated for three months_. _It didn't work_. “Why not?”

 

“I liked him, but it was like...it was nice when he called or sent me a message, but I realized I didn't _really_ care if he called or contacted me. I wasn't particularly looking forward to it. It was nice when we saw each other in person, but it just wasn't worth all the effort. We didn't have enough time to give each other nor the motivation to make more time.” Youngjae let out a soft chuckle, “You know, I'm surprised Jackson didn't figure anything out while I was seeing him. I asked him how to say things in Chinese or what something Yixing had said to me meant on more than one occasion. Some of it was...well...not anything I'd be learning to say in front of camera's or fans. Maybe Jackson thought I was into Chinese porn or something.”

 

Jaebum wondered how he hadn't even noticed that Youngjae had dated someone for three months (was he supposed to scold him as the leader seeing as they had a dating ban?).

 

“Jaebum?”

 

Jaebum hadn't realized he was staring at his lap and looked up.

 

“Are you okay? Do you still want to talk about it?”

 

Jaebum sighed, “Yeah, I'm okay. Is there any more?”

 

Youngjae nodded, maybe this hadn't been the best idea, but he figured it wouldn't do either of them any good if he left anything out at this point. “I'll just make this quick, okay? You don't need too many details. My ISAC hook-up was Taehyung from BTS. I met him when I was going to the bathroom. We flirted a bit. We hang out outside on the field after that and when we both went to the bathroom again we ended up having sex there. We tried dating for about three weeks, but it didn't feel right to either of us and in the end we didn't even meet in those three weeks and ended it via Skype.”

 

Jaebum thought back and he actually remember that day. Youngjae'd had his head on Taehyung's chest. He was sitting right next to them.

 

“Okay so this last one...was actually two people.”

 

 _You've got to be kidding me_.

 

“I'd been flirting with Seventeen's Jeonghan and we decided to meet up at a hotel. He suggested to add another person to the mix. I agreed and Seungcheol, you know S.Coups their leader, joined us. It happened one time and I think they started dating after that.”

 

Youngjae sat up straighter and looked at his boyfriend, “Okay. That's it. Now you know- Oh! I forgot!”

 

 _Now what_.

 

“I made out with Monsta X's Hyungwon one time. His lips are big...” Youngjae shook his head as if the memory of Hyunwon's lips was getting in the way and returned his gaze to Jaebum, “So, are you okay?”

 

“I need to lie down...” he said half-jokingly. 

 

Youngjae smiled slightly and said, “Jackson's bed is still waiting.”

 

Jaebum looked at him. His beautiful sunshine. “Thank you for sharing all of that with me, Youngjae. I know I can be jealous and unreasonable at times, so thank you for telling me all this. I guess...I don't like that you have a past, but I feel better _knowing_ instead of just letting my imagination run wild. If that makes sense...”

 

Youngjae squeezed his hand, “I think it makes sense.” He leaned forward and joined their lips together briefly, “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

 

Instead of making out on Jackson's bed they cuddled together on Jaebum's. They were fast asleep by the time Jackson got home and not even his high pitched squeal could wake them up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Markjin date! :D Mark is going to woo Jinyoung lol.
> 
> So about the people I paired Youngjae with...Taehyung just made sense (if you don't believe me look up Taehyung and Youngjae on google to see them at the isac together. It was so soft), Zelo makes sort of sense because of the Mokpo connection (the Mokpo connection - a love story) and Nichkyun called Youngjae the visual of the group once, so...Hyungwon...I imagine Hyungwon was backstage with Youngjae and Youngjae wouldn't stop talking and being loud so Hyungwon kissed him to shut him up. EXO and Seventeen...I'm not sure where they came from??
> 
> Let me know how you feel about Youngjae's past hook-ups. Any pairing you like or pairing you think are just too weird? xD


	21. First date (sort of)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark finds a gap in their busy schedules to finally take Jinyoung out on a perfect date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo...this chapter is ALL Markjin basically, just fyi ^^;
> 
> My life is a bit stressy atm so it's taking me a bit longer to write (let alone write well, lol), but I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter anyway!

Mark wanted to give Jinyoung the perfect romantic date. He wanted to make him blush, he wanted to make him happy, and, most of all, he wanted to make him feel loved. Jinyoung didn't exactly have a great history when it came to relationships and Mark wanted to ensure that he knew that their relationship was different. Seeing as they were in the middle of their latest comeback and their schedules were crazy, it took some time to find a gap that offered enough time for a date. But when Mark found an appropriate spot in their schedule he decided it was time to formally ask Jinyoung out on a date. Well, as formal as you can be when you're in bed. After a hard day of work Mark and Jinyoung were lying on Jinyoung's bed. They were both on their sides, facing each other. Mark had to remind himself they were already together because he felt nervousness spread through his body when he was about to ask the beautiful man in front of him out on a date.

 

“H-hey Jinyoung?” Mark said in a low voice, his fingers were fumbling with a button on Jinyoung's pajamas and he kept his eyes fixed on it, avoiding looking directly at him.

 

“Hm?” Jinyoung gently stroked Mark's hair out of his face and Mark looked up, a light blush on his face.

 

“So...on Thursday our schedule is only until 4ish and the day after we only have that variety thing in the evening so I was wondering if you would like to go on a date...with me.”

 

Jinyoung chuckled, “Well of course with you, who else?”

 

“Do you want to? We don't have to if you're too tired! I know you just finished with your drama right before our comeback prep began and we've been super busy so I understand if you're too tired.”

 

Jinyoung smiled and touched Mark's cheek lightly with the back of his hand, “I'm not so tired. Let's go on a date on Thursday. What do you want to do?”

 

Mark opened his mouth in a wide smile, “Don't worry about it, just let me come up with something. Around 6?”

 

Jinyoung nodded, not knowing that Mark didn't actually have to ' _come up with something_ _'_ since he already had the whole date figured out. When they returned home after their schedule that day to shower and change before going out, Mark insisted on going first. By the time Jinyoung was finished it was almost six o'clock so he walked over to Mark and Youngjae's room and knocked on the door. No response. “Mark? Are you in there? I though we were going out?” he knocked again. This time there was an answer but it wasn't Mark.

 

“Go away, Mark isn't here!” Jaebum shouted from behind the door.

 

Jinyoung decided it was probably best not to open the bedroom door, instead he walked to the bathroom to see if Mark was there. He wasn't. Nor in the living room, the kitchen, or the balcony. He was just about to call him when the doorbell rang. That was odd, they hardly ever had people over.

Yugyeom was the first to get to the door and Jinyoung could here a surprised “What are you doing?” coming from the hallway. He walked over to see who it was that Yugyeom was talking to when he heard a familiar voice ask, “Is Jinyoung home?”

 

“Mark?” Jinyoung looked at Mark standing in the doorway. His outfit wasn't formal, but it was obvious he'd put in the effort to look nice.

 

“Ehm...” Yugyeom said as he turned to Jinyoung, “I'm not sure what's going on but Mark wants to know if you're home...” he turned back to Mark, still confused “He is, by the way.”

 

Yugyeom got out of the way but didn't go far, so he could observe. He wasn't as obvious about it as Jackson, but Yugyeom was secretly a huge Markjin fanboy. Jinyoung approached the doorway with furrowed eye brows, “I was looking for you. What are you doing?”

 

Mark smiled brightly,“I'm picking you up for our date!”

 

Jinyoung's eye brows remained furrowed in confusion, “But...we live together?”

 

“I know, but I never got to pick you up for a date because of it, so I decided I wanted to pick you up. Come on.” He reached out his hand to his boyfriend who still looked somewhat confused but he joined their hands together anyway.

 

“Where are we going?” Jinyoung asked when they came outside, releasing their hands. He'd love to hold on, but they couldn't risk being seen by reporters or over enthusiastic fans roaming around their building.

 

“I'm not telling.” Mark teased. “Oh yeah! I got you this, here.” He handed Jinyoung a small box. When he opened it he found beautifully made chocolates inside.

 

“These chocolates have different types of jam in them,” Mark started explaining happily, “Look, the word 'jam' is written on them but the 'a' is written as a heart so it looks like our initials joined by a heart!”

 

Jinyoung wasn't sure what to say. No-one had ever given him chocolates before and the whole gesture had awoken a flock of butterflies in his stomach. These didn't look like chocolates you'd just find in any random store either. He wanted to say something heartfelt, but expressing feelings of affection wasn't his strong suit, “At least no-one can say you have no jam now.”

 

Mark gave him a light shove, but he was still smiling, “Don't be mean, Jinyoung. And,” He took the lid from Jinyoung's hand and closed the box again, “don't eat them yet! Or we won't have dessert.”

 

Mark took Jinyoung's hand again, figuring it wasn't weird for someone to just pull someone along for a minute, and led him to a fancy car that was parked a few streets from their dorm. The chauffeur was waiting next to the car and greeted them with a bow and he opened the door so they could get in. Mark had to give Jinyoung a little push before he actually did so, but once they were seated the driver looked back at them through the rear-view mirror, “Good evening sirs, the drive to our destination will take about 35 minutes. Please feel free to enjoy a glass of champagne and some of the hors d'oeuvres that you will find in the mini fridge. Would you like me to leave the partition down or raise it up?”

 

“Up please, thank you.” Mark replied. As the driver disappeared behind the partition and the engine started running, ready for departure, Mark turned to Jinyoung whose eyes were wide, looking around the car. Mark got his attention by stroking his cheek, “The next part of our date isn't so fancy, so I felt like it would be nice to start like this.” He handed Jinyoung a glass of champagne and took one for himself. They clinked their glasses together and each took a small sip. “Do you want one of those hors d'oeuvres thingies?” Mark asked as he opened the mini fridge, “I think there's also some sashimi in here.”

 

“Sounds nice,” Jinyoung said, “but first...” He took the champagne glass from Mark and placed both glasses back in their holders before he scooted closer and gently placed a few fingers under Mark's chin. He leaned in and kissed him. Mark smiled into the kiss and started moving his lips in unison with Jinyoung's. Jinyoung's hand moved from Mark's face down to his leg and he gently squeezed his thigh. He pulled back and whispered, “delicious.”

 

They spent the rest of the ride tasting some of the food, sipping their champagne and kissing. When the car stopped and the partition separating them from the driver went down, Jinyoung felt like he wouldn't have minded if the ride would have taken two more hours, or forever. Mark got out first and held out his hand for Jinyoung to hold on to when he followed. Jinyoung looked around and saw that they were standing in front of a gate of what seemed like a park, “Where are we?” he asked curiously.

 

“It's a garden park thing. Technically it's closed right now, but I pulled some strings for us.”

 

“I didn't know you had strings to pull.”

 

Mark laughed, he nodded to the driver, who got back into the car, and grabbed Jinyoung's hand, “Come on!”

 

Jinyoung let Mark lead them further into the park. After a minute or two he started to notice that only one path had lights decorating the way. Seeing as they were following exactly that route he had to wonder if it was a coincidence or if Mark had something to do with it. After a few minutes of walking Mark lead them off the path and onto the grass. They stopped at a large picnic blanket. There were no lights around it, but the lights from the path were enough to give some light and the moon was already glowing and that was enough to make the two big baskets filled with food and a bottle of wine visible.

 

Mark sat down on the blanket and took Jinyoung's hands in his own to gently pull him down with him.

 

“What's all this?” Jinyoung asked sheepishly as he sat down opposite his boyfriend.

 

“What does it look like?” Mark chuckled, “It's a picnic!”

 

Jinyoung scoffed, “Aren't you supposed to have them, you know, when the sun is out? Not at night.”

 

Mark's face fell and his voice was small,“But we don't have time during the day now and then there would be other people around and...don't you think it's romantic with the moonlight and stuff..?”

 

“I'm sorry, Mark! I don't know why I said that!” Jinyoung quickly replied, “It's just...no-one has ever done something like this for me and I don't know how to behave or something.” Mark looked at him and gave a small nod. Jinyoung leaned in closer so their noses were only a few inches away from touching, “I love it. Really.” Mark smile returned and Jinyoung closed the gap between them for a soft kiss, “A lot.”

 

After that little hiccup they enjoyed the food and wine Mark had prepared for them. Jinyoung insisted on feeding Mark everytime he ate something he thought was really delicious (ignoring the fact Mark had the same food on his own plate). They talked, laughed, and simply enjoyed being together. As the evening progressed Jinyoung had gotten closer and closer to Mark and was now comfortably wrapped in his arms, leaning against his chest. He got out the little box of chocolates Mark had given him earlier and opened it up, “Here open up.” He picked up one of the chocolates and lifted up his arm to feed Mark. Jinyoung let out a small yelp of surprise when Mark, instead of eating the chocolate, suddenly grabbed his arm and looked at his watch.

 

“Oh shit, what time is it!? Dammit it's later than I thought! We have to lie down or we'll miss it!”

 

“Miss what?” Jinyoung asked confused as he carefully put the chocolate back and turned around to face Mark. Mark was busy rummaging through one of the baskets and pulled out a blanket. He lay down on his back and put his arm out for Jinyoung to put his head on, which he did.

 

“There's supposed to be a meteor shower visible tonight so we should be able to spot some shooting stars. Can you believe that? Shooting stars on our first date.”

 

Jinyoung lifted himself up on one arm and gaped at his boyfriend, “Our first date? This isn't our first date!” Jinyoung tried to think back over the time since they started going out. This couldn't be their first date, right?

 

“Well,” Mark started saying while gesturing Jinyoung to lie down again, “I suppose it depends on what you see as a date, but yeah, I would say this is our first real date.”

 

“Are you serious? I'm the worst boyfriend ever...we're on our first date and I didn't even realize it...” Jinyoung stared at Mark with an apologetic look in his eyes, “I guess it's just that...since we already slept together and all the other stuff that happened and the fact we live in the same apartment...it just feels like our relationship is way past a _first date_ phase, you know?”

 

Mark just smiled and looked up at the stars, “You're missing the stars, Park Jinyoung.”

 

Jinyoung turned on his back, head resting on Mark's arm, “You're not mad?”

 

“Of course not. As long as you're not mad at me for taking this long to take you out on a proper date.”

 

Jinyoung huffed, “Why is it _your_ job to take _me_ out? I didn't even think to plan something as awesome as this.”

 

“You can plan the next one.”

 

Jinyoung sighed, “Yeah, I suppose. But how am I going to top this? You gave me cheesy but awesome chocolates with our initials on them and a moonlight picnic, and...a shooting star! I saw one! Did you see it!” Jinyoung looked at the night sky in amazement. He'd never seen a shooting star before, “Did you see it too?” he asked again.

 

“Must have missed it.” Mark soft voice replied.

 

Jinyoung turned his head slightly to find Mark looking at him instead of the stars, “Why aren't you looking at the stars, idiot? You'll miss it.”

 

“You're so beautiful, Jinyoung.” Mark whispered.

 

Jinyoung's eyes wrinkled in a bashful smile, “So are you” he replied softly. For a few silent moments they just looked at each other. Jinyoung swallowed before Mark leaned in and pressed their lips together. For a moment the stars were forgotten and all of Jinyoung's mind was clouded by Mark's lips on his own, his tongue that gently licked at his lips, asking for permission to enter. The kiss was slow and intimate and traveled all the way down to their toes. When they broke apart both were blushing and their heads felt fuzzy in the best way possible.

 

“Let's see if we can spot another shooting star.” Mark said and Jinyoung nodded. He pulled Mark's arm from under his head and laced their fingers together. Both of them using their free arms as pillows. They held hands and looked up at the stars until it was really time to head back.

 

They walked back hand in hand along the path illuminated by lights. The car was already waiting to take them back. The ride was quiet, peaceful. Mark had his head on Jinyoung's shoulder and they finally ate the jam filled chocolates. It was the perfect ending to their perfect first date. Until they got back home and Mark started regretting talking to his roommate about his love life and date plans.

 

When they entered they found Youngjae alone in the living room, busy playing a game on the big TV. The other members had already gone to bed, “Hey guys, welcome back! How was your date?”

 

Jinyoung couldn't help the smile that painted his face when he thought back on their night and he shyly looked at his boyfriend, “it was...perfect.”

 

“Aww, that's nice. Tell me about how you guys _ma_ _d_ _e love_ under the stars” Youngjae let out a long sigh, “so romantic. You're a lucky man Jinyoung. I mean, what Jaebum arranged for _our_ first time was very romantic too, but you just can't beat a moonlight picnic in a private park with an actual meteor shower.” Youngjae laughed, “well I suppose this wasn't _really_ your first time, but you know what I m-”

 

“Youngjae!” Mark walked over to the couch and gave his friend a warning look,”You need to install a filter on your mouth!”

 

“Sorry, I was just curious! You've been going on about this date and how you wanted to make it perfect and I just wanted to know how it all went.”

 

Jinyoung walked over to Mark and he took his hand, “Don't get mad at Youngjae, Mark. I mean, wouldn't _you_ want to know how someone's date went if they had been _going on_ about it?” He pulled on his hand, “We're going to brush our teeth and go to bed in my room, goodnight Youngjae.”

 

“G'night!”

 

They didn't talk while they were brushing their teeth, but back in the bedroom while they were changing into sleepwear Jinyoung decided to ask, “Mark? Did you...did you mean for us to have sex tonight?”

 

Mark, who was in the middle of pulling his shirt over his head, quickly turned around to face him,“No! I just really wanted to give you a perfect first date, because I love you and I wanted you to have that. I wanted us to have that.”

 

“So you weren't hoping that we'd...”

 

“I mean...I was wondering why we...hadn't yet, but then I realized we hadn't even been on a real date yet. So I started planning and I ran some ideas by Youngjae and I did tell him that we hadn't had sex yet, but I did _not_ say that we were going to have sex tonight or that having sex was the point of tonight because it _was not._ Okay?” Mark gently rubbed Jinyoung's arm. He looked up at Mark with watery eyes. “Oh Jinyoung, please don't cry. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.”

 

“I'm not upset in a bad way,” Jinyoung sniffed, “You went through all that trouble making sure we had a perfect first date. The car, the picnic, the stars, the chocolates. And you don't even expect sex in return. I...I've never been loved like that...I just...”

 

“Jinyoung,” Mark wiped away the single tear running down Jinyoung's cheek, “I never want you to feel that when I do something nice we _have_ to have sex or something. I love you and I want to have sex, but only when both of us want to. I never want you to feel obligated.”

 

“I wasn't feeling that, it's just that...I guess the reason we haven't had sex yet or, more accurately, why I didn't want to, was because a part of me was scared that when we do it would change things. I don't have the best track-record when it comes to having sex with people and that includes with you.”

 

Mark wrapped his arms around Jinyoung's waist and pulled him closer, “I think it will change things. But not in a bad way. Besides,” he brushed Jinyoung's hair to the side, “forgetting all the stuff that happened afterward, the sex we had was pretty amazing.”

 

“Do you think that maybe...the next time we have sex we can...do it differently?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean I want...I want you to top.”

 

“Oh...” Mark said with a hint of surprise in his voice.

 

“It's just that, I've only done that once and I really want to do it again, but last time wasn't...well it wasn't ideal...”

 

Mark understood Jinyoung was talking about his first time with Shownu. He took Jinyoung's hands and gave them a squeeze, “It's okay, Jinyoungie. We can do whatever you want. We'll make sure we have all the time in the world and I'll make sure we do everything according to the pace you want to set, okay?”

 

Jinyoung nodded and smiled, “You're amazing, you know that?” he placed a soft kiss on Mark's lips.

 

Mark smiled back, “I do, actually. My boyfriend told me.” Mark walked over to Jinyoung's bed and lay down on his side, opening up his arms so Jinyoung could crawl in beside him. It didn't take long for them to fall asleep, both feeling completely satisfied by the evening. Even the talk in the end had only made them feel closer to each other. As for sex. It could wait. For now, sleeping wrapped in each other's warmth was all they needed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like Jinyoung's sexual past is a bigger issue for him than he knew himself and that's why he has been hesitant to sleep with Mark again (because this is his first real relationship and he doesn't want to f it up).
> 
> Was Mark trying a bit too hard with the date or was it sweet and romantic? xD idek
> 
> Next chapter will have 2jae! And...parents :o
> 
> <3


	22. Jackson!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youngjae is about to tell his parents he's been dating Jaebum, but it doesn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry for the looong time since the last update! Life is being life. This chapter is a bit shorter (and it's not the best writing), but I wanted to give you guys something...I hope I'll be able to update sooner this time!  
> Thank you to all who commented and gave kudos <3

All of their music and variety show appearances went by smoothly in terms of Jaebum managing to keep his jealousy in check. Maybe Jaebum made sure he stood between Youngjae and V when they were on stage together, and maybe he appeared, almost magically, by Youngjae's side when he saw a few Seventeen members talking to him, but other than that? Smoothly. They even told a few people that they were together and the news was only met with positive reactions. Even when they shared a dressing room with Monsta X for a show, the awkwardness, felt by all, disappeared quickly thanks to Jackson's cheerful and loud personality and his swooning over his friend Jooheon.

 

Now that they'd told a few people Jaebum felt more confident than ever to tell his parents. He loved Youngjae, Youngjae loved him, and they made each other happy. His parents would want him to be happy, right? Right. Their final concert for this tour was almost there and Jaebum and Youngjae had decided they would each tell their parents individually after the concert before they were going out to dinner. Yugyeom's parents and one of Jinyoung's sisters were also coming and they'd made plans to take all attending family to dinner with all of the members.

 

“Are you sure you don't want me to be there when you tell them?” Youngjae asked his boyfriend one last time on the night of the concert.

 

Jaebum nodded and stroked Youngjae's arm, “Thank you, but I'm sure. I'd rather tell them I'm gay first and then I'll tell them about you.” He placed a quick kiss on his lips, “and then, hopefully, we can all go to dinner.”

 

After the concert Youngjae quickly found himself alone with his parents who'd come backstage to congratulate him on a great concert. He wasn't sure where the other members had gone off to, but he figured now was as good a time as any to tell his parents about his boyfriend.

 

“Mom? Dad? Can I talk to you about something?”

 

“Of course, honey.” his mother replied and looked at her son, “it's not something bad, is it?”

 

“No, no! It's something good! You don't have to look so worried, mom!” Youngjae laughed and his mother visibly relaxed. She was always worrying about her son in the big city. “The truth is...” Youngjae continued, “I have been dating someone for a while now and-”

 

“HA!” Youngjae's father yelled and looked excitedly at his wife, “I told you! Didn't I tell you?”

 

His mother sighed, “Yes, dear. You told me that you had a feeling Youngjae was seeing someone, but maybe you should let him finish telling us about it. I don't think he was actually done talking”

 

Youngjae gave his mother a small nod of gratitude and continued, “Okay, so the person I've been dating, ehm, my boyfriend, you actually already know him because it's-”

 

Again Youngjae was interrupted by his father, “Is it Jackson? It's Jackson, isn't it?” He almost sounded gleeful and very excited about the idea of Jackson dating his son.

 

“W-what? Jackson!?” Youngjae hadn't seen this one coming. How could his father think he was dating _Jackson_?

 

“I knew it!” His father seemed to ignore him and patted him on the shoulder as if he was praising him.

 

“D-dad, it's no-” Youngjae stammered.

 

“This is great,” his father interrupted again, “I really like that boy!”

 

Youngjae threw a desperate look to his mother, but before she could even try to make her husband listen to what their son was saying the door opened and Jackson, along with BamBam and Youngjae's _actual_ boyfriend, walked in. Youngjae's father immediately approached Jackson with a big smile on his face, “Jackson!” he exclaimed happily, grabbed Jackson's face and planted a big kiss on his cheek.

 

“Dad! Please, stop!”

 

Instead of stopping his dad wrapped an arm around a somewhat confused Jackson and laughed loudly, “I'm sorry son, am I embarrassing you in front of your boyfriend?”

 

“Actually, you are” Youngjae mumbled, casting a quick glance at Jaebum, “and yourself, because-”

 

“Jackson!” Youngjae's dad said in a tone that had suddenly turned serious as he took away his arm from Jackson's shoulder and faced him.

 

“Y-yes, sir?” Jackson straightened his back in response and looked Youngjae's father straight in the eye.

 

“Are you taking good care of my son?”

 

Jackson nodded firmly, “yes, sir! He's my precious otter!”

 

“Jackson!” Youngjae yelled. He wasn't sure if Jackson was completely missing the fact that his dad thought he was his boyfriend or if he was just being Jackson.

 

Youngjae's dad raised an eyebrow and turned to look at his son, “An otter? I guess I can see that. That's adorable. He gets his looks from me.” he burst out laughing until his face turned serious again and he looked at his son, “And Youngjae, don't yell at your boyfriend.”

 

“I wasn't yelling at my boyfriend!”

 

Once again Youngjae didn't get the chance to explain himself because the rest of the members and family members, including JB's parents, entered the room.

 

They'd heard Youngjae's voice coming from the room, but looking around the room Jinyoung couldn't really figure out what was happening. On the one hand Youngjae looked almost at his wits' end, and on the other Jackson and Youngjae's father looked quite happy. BamBam and Jaebum looked confused. “I'm sorry are we interrupting something?” Jinyoung asked politely.

 

Youngjae's father waved the question away with his hand, “Not at all, not at all. Youngjae's was just telling us about his new boyfriend.” He slapped Jackson on the arm happily.

 

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow and gave Youngjae a questioning look as if to ask why his father was being so close with Jackson and not Jaebum.

 

“No I didn't!” Youngjae exclaimed, “I mean I did, sort of, but not-”

 

“Oh come on now son, don't be so shy! We're all family here and you should be proud to have such a fine man such as Jackson.”

 

Instead of correcting Youngjae's father Jackson just couldn't help himself from smiling and letting out a giggle from all the compliments he was getting. Youngjae sighed, “No, dad, I've been dating-”

 

“Jackson!” Jaebum heard himself say, “he's been dating Jackson. Yes, we know.”

 

Youngjae looked at his boyfriend who was avoiding his gaze, not sure what was going on. The rest of the members looked at each other confused, but when he looked around the room Youngjae understood.

 

“Yes, right. Jackson.” Youngjae said, leaving the members even more confused. He walked over to his dad and his “boyfriend”, “so...we better all get washed up and dressed so we can go to dinner. Come on.” He took Jackson by the hand and dragged him to the exit. On the way out he connected eyes with Mark and urged him to follow his example with a jerk of his head towards the door.

 

“Y-yes. We will all get dressed now, come guys.” He walked over to JB and gave him a push in the back since he didn't look like he was about to move on his own.

 

Youngjae led them to their dressing room and once inside he let go of Jackson's hand and turned around, looking behind him to see Jaebum walk in last along with Mark and Jinyoung. Jinyoung closed the door and broke the silence, “Please explain to me what that was all about?”

 

“Don't look at me!” Jackson replied, “I walked in and before I knew it Youngjae's dad is kissing me on the cheek and telling me how happy he is that I'm his son's boyfriend!”

 

“And you didn't correct him because?” Jinyoung asked.

“I didn't know what was going! I was confused, he was being so nice!” Jackson defended himself.

 

Jinyoung turned his attention to Youngjae, “What about you? Did you tell them you were dating Jackson?”

 

“No! I just said I was dating someone they already knew and suddenly my dad was going on and on about Jackson and how great he thinks is he! I tried to correct him but people kept coming in and then JB said..”

 

At the mention of his name JB seemed to wake up from his own thoughts and he looked at Youngjae, “I'm so sorry...” he walked closer and took one of Youngjae's hands in his own, “I didn't mean to deny our relationship like that...again...but I just saw...” he was having trouble saying why he didn't want to reveal _he_ was the one dating Youngjae, but Youngjae said it for him.

 

“Your dad?”

 

Jaebum gave a small nod.

 

“The way your dad looked at the though of me and Jackson, two men, being a couple...yeah I saw it too.”

 

“I'm sorry...”

 

Youngjae gently caressed Jaebum's cheek, “you don't have to apologize for this one. I get it. It was easy for me. My parents have always been supportive and they never made me feel like me dating another man was something bad.”

 

“But...” Yugyeom softly spoke, “what if your dad was just confused about the situation or needed a moment to get used to the idea or something? It doesn't necessarily mean he'd react badly, does it?”

 

Jaebum sighed, “I guess...but he looked so...disgusted. I just...didn't want him to look at me like that...I still want to tell them, but not tonight. We're about to go out to dinner and celebrate a good ending to our tour. It was naive of me to think that I could just tell my parents that I'm gay and have a boyfriend and then just go out for dinner.”

 

“So, now what?” Jinyoung asked, “Youngjae's dad, and everybody else by now, thinks he's dating Jackson. If you're not going to explain that he's actually dating you what do you suggest?”

 

Jaebum didn't answer. He didn't know what to do. Jinyoung walked closer and placed a comforting hand on his arm, “Look, I get it. I do. I'm just saying we can't just pretend the whole conversation didn't happen during dinner. Youngjae's dad looked way too excited not to want to talk about it.”

 

Youngjae groaned, “You're right.” He took a deep breath and collected his thoughts. “Okay...how about this? Me and Jackson pretend to be a couple for tonight and I'll tell my parents later that I'm actually dating Jaebum.”

 

“Why not just tell your parents before dinner?” BamBam wondered.

 

“Because my dad will 100% mention it during dinner and if I ask them not to talk about it they'll want to know why and it's just going to get messy. I don't like lying to them, but it's better than asking them to lie for me. Besides, it's just for tonight.” Youngjae looked his boyfriend in the eye, “How do you feel about this? We can tell your parents the truth some other time, okay?”

 

Jaebum nodded, “Yeah...okay.”

 

Youngjae turned his attention to Jackson, “Are you okay with pretending to be my boyfriend for one night?”

 

It turned out Jackson was actually very excited to be Youngjae's boyfriend for the night. Asking if he could use tongue had earned him a smack on the back of his head from JB. This wasn't going to be the fun family dinner they had intended, but there they were. All of them sitting in a private room of a restaurant with a cozy atmosphere.Youngjae's father had made sure Jackson and Youngjae sat next to each other. Jinyoung sat down next to his sister and Mark (he had plans to let the two of them get to know each other better), Youngjae's dad sat next to Jackson together with his wife, Jaebum was all the way on the other end of the table with his parents on one side and YugBam on the other. Jackson was trying to feed Youngjae a piece of bread. Jaebum could hear his father click his tongue in disapproval. This was going to be a long evening.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one will include the dinner at least and I'll also try to get some Markjin in there.  
> Comments are a writer's fuel~
> 
> Side note: Can we talk about how Youngjae said his thighs had gotten bigger and him basically shoving his crotch in JB's face during their last Vlive!? I feel like I've seen no-one talk about this!? And...Jackson pinched his butt, lol.


	23. Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner doesn't go great, Youngjae's dad keeps making assumptions, and when Mark and Jinyoung gets home something feels different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rises from the ashes* yes, I'm still here! Moving, new job, all that jazz. But back! (๑๏ิ₃๏ิ๑)

Jaebum was on edge all throughout dinner, alternating between watching his parents (mainly his father) and watching Jackson and Youngjae acting like a couple. If he was being honest there wasn't that much of a difference between how affectionate Jackson was being towards Youngjae now that he was pretending to be his boyfriend and how he normally treated him, but JB still felt a slight stab of jealousy and discomfort every time they seemed like a real couple. Jackson feeding Youngjae a bite of his food, a quick brush of their hands together, a shared laugh. But he got a much worse feeling in the pit of his stomach every time he watched his father watching them. It reminded him of the way he'd looked when Jaebum first brought up wanting to audition for talent agencies. But like then, he knew that this, that Youngjae, was what he wanted. And he knew he had to tell his parents the truth despite what their reaction might be. His father came around, for the most part, when it came to him being an idol, so perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. And there was always his mother. She had been much more supportive of her son's dreams and she didn't look as bothered by Jackson and Youngjae's skinship during dinner as his father did. But this dinner wasn't the right time (even though he would love to put an end to Youngjae's father fawning over Jackson as if he was the best thing that could have ever happened to his son. Please). Instead, JB had a different idea.

 

“Mom, dad?” Both of his parents turned their attention to their son, “You'll still be in town tomorrow, right? Why don't you come over to our dorm and I'll make you lunch?”

 

“At your dorm? Why don't we go out instead.” his father asked in reply.

 

“But I want to make you lunch. Besides, going out can be a hassle if fans or media find out. It'll be quieter at the dorm.”

 

“I think that sounds lovely.” his mother said with a gentle voice and she directed a soft smile towards her son, almost as if she was trying to make up for her husband's stiff attitude.

 

“Fine, we'll come to your dorm. But can you please ask  _ them, _ ” his father gestured towards Jackson and Youngjae, who were having a lively conversation with Youngjae's parents and BamBam, to tone it down. I'll lose my appetite.” 

 

“Dad, please...they're just...” Jaebum didn't know how to end that sentence. He didn't know what to say to his own father's distasteful words. Expecting a negative reaction from your parents is one thing, but to actually get it is another and JB felt his heart fell in his chest.

 

“I'm sorry, son. I know they're your group members and I always liked those boys, but what they're doing...it's not right.” 

 

Jackson seemingly had the worst timing ever, because just as JB's father looked over again he playfully grabbed Youngjae's chest and gave it a squeeze. The room was filled with the loud laughter of Jackson and Youngjae's father who was making fun of his son's red face. Jaebum's father got up from his chair and he looked down to his son, “I think it's time for us to go. We will see you at your dorm tomorrow. Good night son.” Jaebum's mother got up also, she hugged her son before following her husband out the door. The rest of the table looked at Jaebum as if to ask for an explanation, “ehm...sorry, they were just really tired and headed back to their hotel.” His eyes met Youngjae's for a moment and he gave him a small smile, but Youngjae saw the sadness behind it. Both Jackson and Youngjae toned down the couple act during dessert, both because they felt it was bothering Jaebum a bit and because they weren't really sure how necessary it was now that JB's parents had left. 

 

When dinner was over taxis were called to drive their family members back to their hotels while the boys would return to their dorm. While they were waiting in the restaurant's entrance hall Youngjae's father grabbed his son and Jackson by the arm and turned to his wife, “Honey, would you mind going back before me? I want to take these two out for a drink! Just us guys.”

 

“Dad you don't have to. I'm sure you're tired.” Youngjae tried in an attempt to change his father's mind. 

 

“I'm not tired at all! Come on, just one drink, or two, with you and your boyfriend.”

 

Youngjae thought for a moment and nodded, “All right, but before we go I have to tell you something. We're not going with Jackson.”

 

His father let go of their arms and looked from his son to Jackson and back to his son, “Why not?”

 

Youngjae sighed, “Because he's not the one that's my boyfriend.”

 

Jackson immediately lowered his head in a deep bow, “I'm sorry for lying to you sir.” He raised his head again, “I love your son very much, but not in a boyfriend kind of way.”

 

“I see...” Youngjae's father said slowly, “so who  _ is _ your boyfriend. Is he here?”

 

Youngjae looked over to where Jaebum was standing with Mark, Jinyoung and his sister, “Yeah, he is.”

 

His father also looked and gasped, “Of course! Haha, how did I not see it! Of course it's Mark!”

 

Youngjae stared at his father in disbelieve, was he seriously going to do this again?

 

“Of course, of course. You even have a child together! Is that why you switched rooms? I bet Mark couldn't handle you sharing a room with another man. Although now that I think about it I'm not sure I approve of you two sharing a room! I understand you boys are young and have needs, but that doesn't mean we have make it so easy for you to...”

 

“Dad! I am  _ not _ sleeping with Mark!”

 

Jackson nodded, “There was only that one time JB found them half-naked in bed together, but it turned out tha-” he covered his mouth with a gasp and gave an apologetic look towards a mortified Youngjae.

 

Before Youngjae's father (or Jackson) could go on Youngjae's mother put a hand on her husband's arm to get his attention, “Darling, why don't we let Youngjae tell us about his boyfriend.”

 

“Yes, please, thank you mom!” Youngjae took a deep breath and resolutely walked over to Jaebum and the others, “We need to tell my parents now. My dad now thinks Mark is my boyfriend.” Jaebum, although confused how Mark was now suddenly the boyfriend, nodded and let Youngjae grab his hand and they walked back over to Youngjae's parents, and Jackson.

 

“Mom, dad. Im Jaebum. My boyfriend.”

 

Jaebum bowed his head awkwardly. Youngjae's mother smiled at him, but Youngjae's father had his eyebrows furrowed. “Are you telling the truth this time? I can't keep getting my hopes up and have you tell me you're  _ not _ dating them.”

 

Youngjae nodded and his father let out a sigh,“Why didn't you just tell us before, Youngjae?”

 

“Well..” Youngjae eyed his boyfriend with uncertainty.

 

“I'm so sorry, sir, but that's because of me.” Jaebum spoke. “I haven't told my parents that I'm gay yet and I...I was going to tell them tonight, but..”

 

Youngjae's dad raised his hand to signal JB to stop talking, “Don't worry about it, son. You will tell them when you're ready. I'm still not happy that you lied to us, but I understand. Not all parents are understanding of these things.”

 

Jaebum lowered his head, “Thank you, sir.”

 

Youngjae's father filled the air with the characteristic booming Choi laugh and wrapped an arm around both of the boys' shoulders, “Come on, let's get that drink!” As Youngjae and Jaebum were getting dragged away the rest of the group could hear Youngjae's father's voice in the distance “Haha, Jackson or Mark, what was I thinking! Jaebum makes so much more sense!”

 

<>

 

While Youngjae and Jaebum were out with Youngjae's father, the rest of the group returned home. Jackson lowered himself onto the couch, “Man, pretending to be someone's boyfriend sure is exhausting! I mean...I didn't have a lot of time to prepare for it, I knew nothing about our relationship! How am I supposed to be a convincing boyfriend if I don't even know any of the important stuff like who kissed who first, how are things going physically...”

 

“Didn't you grab his boob at one point?” 

 

“His chest, BamBam. I grabbed and squeezed his chest, yes.”

 

Jinyoung shook his head and chuckled. Even with just their concert he was tired, but with the whole dinner and everything that came with it he was exhausted. He brushed his fingers against the back of Mark's hand, “You wanna sleep in my room tonight? Who knows what time Youngjae and Jaebum are getting back, you don't want them waking you up in the middle of the night.”

 

Mark agreed and they both got ready for bed, leaving the other three still discussing the night in the living room. They changed into their pjs in silence. Mark wore sweatpants and a simple t-shirt while Jinyoung was wearing a proper pajama. Jinyoung got into the bed first, he sat with his back against the wall. Mark sat down next to him and pulled the blanket over both of them. 

 

“I had fun talking to your sister tonight.” 

 

Jinyoung smiled, “I'm glad. I was a little nervous. I've never actually told her I'm gay, but I've always had a feeling she knew, you know. I just wanted someone from my family to get to know you better.”

 

Mark laughed thinking about his own eldest sister, “I think sisters might have a sixth sense for this kind of stuff.” Mark hesitated for a moment before he asked: “Do you think she knew we're dating?”

 

“She might? She gave me a surprised look when Youngjae's father thought you were dating him. It was a kind of look that said  _ what about you _ .” Jinyoung sighed, “I know it's dumb, but it bothered me a little that he thought you and Youngjae match so well...I mean...if you and Youngjae match what about us? Me and Youngjae have totally different personalities.”

 

Mark chuckled, “He also thought Youngjae was dating Jackson and that that was the best match ever. And now he thinks he and Jaebum are the best match ever. Don't let that bother you, silly.”

 

“I said it was dumb” Jinyoung mumbled as he was staring at his hands on top of the blanket. Mark lifted his hand and gently turned Jinyoung's face up so they were looking in each other's eyes, “You match me perfectly, Jinyoung. You make me so happy I can't even put it into words.” He brought their lips together and a warmth spread all throughout Jinyoung's body, washing away his tiredness. When Mark pulled back he looked at him with a slight blush on his face, “I love you.” It came out in a whisper and he wasn't sure Mark had even heard it, but Mark leaned in again and pressed their lips together once more.  Jinyoung's lips were the perfect combination of soft and firm and Mark thought they were the most perfect lips. Gently he pushed Jinyoung further down onto the bed. Mark leaning over Jinyoung, their eyes met when he pulled back from the kiss. Without saying a word he lowered his face again. Somehow there was a different feeling between them tonight. Safe. Close. They no longer heard the voices from the other members coming from the living room. The only sounds they could hear were the soft sounds of their lips breaking apart and rejoining over and over again. That and their hearts beating like crazy. As fast as their hearts were beating, so slow and careful were their kisses. Jinyoung parted his lips slightly, waiting for Mark to reciprocate the gesture. When he did Jinyoung traced his tongue over Mark's bottom lip until it was guided inside by the other's own tongue. Without disconnecting their mouths Jinyoung pushed himself upwards, making them sit up. Mark seemed to understand what he had intended as he momentarily broke away to pull his shirt off over his head. Jinyoung did the same. They looked at each other and smiled. Neither one of them spoke because there was nothing to say. Mark tenderly caressed one of Jinyoung's cheeks with the back of his fingers. He leaned forward again, kissing Jinyoung's lips stronger than before. He traced Jinyoung's side with his fingertips. Mark's hand was warm, but still Jinyoung shivered at the touch. 

 

Mark gently tugged at Jinyoung's pajama pants and broke their kiss to look him in the eye. Jinyoung nodded and Mark slowly pulled down Jinyoung's pants, Jinyoung slightly lifting his hips to make it easier. Mark moved down along with the movement of removing the clothes. He made his way back up by placing soft kissing along Jinyoung's leg, his stomach, his chest, his neck, ending with a firm kiss on his lips. While they resumed their slow paced kissing Mark let his left hand wander down to Jinyoung's crotch. He cupped it and squeezed it carefully, eliciting a soft moan. He felt Jinyoung's hands making their way to his ass and squeezing it before Jinyoung started to pull on Mark's own pants. 

 

Everything happened in silence. In silence they touched each other, slowly and gently as if they'd never touched each other before and they had to explore every inch. The silence was only broken when Mark had gotten lube and was moving his hand down to Jinyoung's entrance, “I'm going to start now, is that okay? He asked in a whisper. 

 

“Yes” was all Jinyoung whispered in return. He didn't want to break the atmosphere with too many words. They weren't needed. His heart was pounding in his chest, he so wanted this to happen, but he was also slightly nervous. Mark slowly inserted one of his fingers and Jinyoung moaned against Mark's mouth that was on his own again. It took a little time for Jinyoung to get used to the feeling of Mark's fingers inside of him, but Mark was patient and took his time.

 

“Jinyoung?” Mark asked when he felt like he had prepared Jinyoung enough, “can I continue?” Jinyoung nodded, they smiled at each other and shared another kiss before Mark positioned himself.

 

As rough and devoid of actual love his first time had been, so gentle and filled with emotion was the way Mark was making love to him now. The pace was slow, yet firm and steady. Mark leaned down.  _ I love you _ . Maybe the fact that he was tired played a part, but Jinyoung felt so overwhelmed with emotion and love that he couldn't get his voice to come out to say something back. He knew that if he tried to speak right now he would cry. Instead he wrapped his arms around Mark's neck and his legs around his waist, he wanted him even closer, he wanted to cling to him and never let go. He wanted to melt together like this forever. He nuzzled Mark's neck, he gave it a small lick and tasted the saltiness of Mark's sweat. Mark moaned in his ear. Jinyoung placed his lips on Mark's neck and sucked at the skin. That earned him another moan and a slightly harder thrust from Mark's hips. This time it was Jinyoung's turn to moan in Mark's ear. As Mark started to move a bit faster and harder Jinyoung let his head fall back on the pillow. He grabbed Mark's hair when he leaned down to kiss his collarbone and guided him back to his lips. Both of their breathing became heavier and more erratic. Together they climbed to the highest point that their entwined bodies could go to. 

 

Mark's breathing hadn't steadied yet when he lifted his head with a smile to look at his boyfriend. Jinyoung was also smiling, but Mark noticed a tear running down his face. He quickly wiped it away with a gently stroke of his thumb, “Are you okay, Jinyoungie?”

 

Jinyoung sniffed and chuckled, “I'm so good. I don't know why tears are coming out. I'm just...so happy.”

 

Mark kissed his cheek, “I'm happy too. But...” he said as he pushed himself upwards, “I have to make you just a little less happy for a moment.” At first Jinyoung wasn't sure what he meant, but then Mark pulled out and Jinyoung winced. “I want to hug you and hold you tight, because the kind of sex we just had needs some serious cuddling for dessert, but...I don't know about you but I'm sweaty and, well, I think we should shower.”

 

It was at this moment that they both remembered they weren't home alone. They had no idea just how much time had passed but the dorm was silent. Jinyoung took Mark by the hand and led him out. Fortunately Yugyeom and BamBam had decided to crash in Jackson's room tonight. “You don't think they heard us do you...?” Jinyoung asked with a slightly horrified look on his face. “Probably.” Mark said casually. Jinyoung's eyes widened. “I mean...we weren't that loud I think, but the walls are pretty thin. Isn't that why they're sleeping with Jackson right now?” Mark ignored Jinyoung's face and pulled him towards the bathroom. After cleaning up they returned to Jinyoung's bed, their arms wrapped around each other.

 

“I love you” Jinyoung whispered to Mark's chest, “I love you so much, Mark. I've never felt as close to anyone as I do to you. I feel like you're a part of me. I feel like if someone would stab you I'd feel it in my own body. That's how close I feel to you.”

 

Mark stroked Jinyoung's hair, “That's...romantic?”

 

Jinyoung looked up and glared at his boyfriend, “I'm being serious here!”

 

Mark kissed him, “I love you too. I felt so close to you tonight I started to lose track of where I stopped and you started.”

 

Jinyoung pulled him closer and they fell asleep in each other's arms. 

 

<>

 

The next morning they awoke to the sound of JB walking around frantically cleaning the living room and roaming around in the kitchen with Youngjae following him around trying to calm him down. It wouldn't be long before the doorbell would ring and his parents would be there for brunch.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Markjiiinnnn   
> What did you think?  
> Next time we'll have lunch with jb's parents D:


	24. Rough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch is rough. What follows is also rough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains some harsh homophobic language! 
> 
>  
> 
> Back so soon? We have angst, anger and smut. Good luck.
> 
> Damn...can't believe the amount of kudos btw. Thank you T_T

Jinyoung and Mark got out of bed just in time to see Jackson, BamBam, and Yugyeom head for the door. “Where are you guys going?” Jinyoung asked of them.

 

“Well, seeing as Jaebum is freaking out about his parents and the whole gay thing, he is somewhat stressed and kicked us out. By that I mean he threw several kitchen items in our direction.” BamBam explained.

 

“That and Youngjae told us it would probably be better if we weren't here because JB always feels a sort of need to be the leader when we're around and right now it's about him and his parents not GOT7.” Yugyeom added.

 

“Is Youngjae staying? Mark asked.

 

Jackson nodded, “yeah, they talked about it and he's staying.”

 

Jinyoung and Mark decided it was probably best if they left too. After getting dressed Jinyoung popped his head into the kitchen just to check if there was anything he could do for his friend, but leaving him alone seemed to be the best for now.

 

<>

 

The doorbell rang and Jaebum almost dropped the plates he was carrying, “Shit, I'm not done setting the table. Shit, shit.” Youngjae quickly took the plates from Jaebum's hands, “It's okay, I'll do it. You just open the door, okay?” Jaebum nodded, thankful that Youngjae was here with him. He took a deep breath before heading toward the door.

 

“Mom, dad. Please come in.” He lead them inside and gestured them to sit down at the table where an array of dishes, prepared by JB himself, was set out. Youngjae also sat down, he could feel the stern eyes of Jaebum's father on him. After an awkward first few minutes with nothing but the sounds of them putting food on their plates and slowly chewing their food Jaebum's father spoke, “So, are any more members joining us?”

 

Jaebum could feel his heart in his throat, “No. Not today. Ehm, actually...there's something I wanted to tell you guys today, at lunch. So...now.” His hands were sweaty and he wiped them on his jeans, he couldn't calm down. “Okay so...ehm...yesterday after the concert Youngjae's dad thought Jackson and Youngjae were a couple, but ehm...that was actually not true.”

 

His father put down his chopsticks and stared at his son, who looked pale and nervous. He didn't feel relieved that Youngjae and Jackson weren't a couple, why would that make his son so uncomfortable and why was he here now.

 

Jaebum struggled to find the right words, but he went on, trying. “So...after dinner, ehm you had already left, his, ehm, Youngjae's father said he wanted to go for a drink with his son and his boyfriend. And since Jackson is not his boyfriend he didn't go. But, I did.” He stopped talking. This was it. He was scared to look at his parents but he forced himself to lift his head. His mother was staring at her plate, his father's face was cold and hard to read.

 

“What exactly are you saying, Jaebum?” he asked in a toneless voice.

 

“I'm saying...” one more deep breath, “I'm saying that I'm gay. I don't like girls. I'm in love with Youngjae and we're a couple. We have been for a-”

 

“Enough.” his father's harsh voice interrupted him. “You are not gay. Don't be ridiculous.”

 

Jaebum had expected his father to get angry or disappointed, but he hadn't expected him to just flat our refuse to believe his son was gay, “No dad, trust me, I'm gay.”

 

“Maybe you  _ think _ that you're gay because of whatever  _ he _ ” he shot Youngjae a dirty look, “has been saying to you in order to manipulate you, but no son of mine is going to be a faggot, you understand?”

 

Jaebum was starting to feel more angry than anything else. “' _ He' _ hasn't manipulated me or  _ turned me gay _ or anything like that. I am gay. That's all there is to it, dad. You not wanting me to be doesn't change that fact.”

 

His father snorted, “They really got you good. Couldn't you find the time or place to hook up with girls so you allowed your filthy hormones to think for you? To make you think it's okay to fuck another man?

 

Jaebum flinched at the harsh and direct words, but he didn't give in, “Hormones? Are you serious?”

 

Both men started to loose their temper more and more and without realizing had gotten up from their seats. Jaebum's mother still hadn't spoken, but had gotten up, white-faced and silent, when her husband had. So had Youngjae.

 

“Am I serious? Are you? Have you really let him fill your head with weird notions about how it's okay, normal even, to have the kind of 'relationship' you have? Come on, I get it's convenient to use him for sex because you live in the same house, but it's wrong. Two men can't be in love. You just think you love him because he let's you have sex with him. I'm disappointed to have a son who is so weak he gives in to the sick perversion that knocks on his door at night!”

 

Jaebum's vision was going blurry, his hands were shaking. Both with anger and hurt. “Stop talking about him, about  _ me _ , like that!  Dad, you just don't understand!”

 

“Im Jaebum, I suggest you tone it down, boy. I'm your father and you will treat me with respect!”

 

“I just want you to understand. I need you to understand!”

 

“Understand what? How you  _ love _ him? How  _ he _ loves  _ you _ ?”

 

“Yes!” Jaebum cried out desperately.   

 

During the yelling Youngjae had moved to approached Jaebum's father, but when he put a hand on his arm to get his attention, he was barely even touching him, he immediately pulled away his arm with a disgusted look on his face, “Don't touch me! Don't think you can manipulate me like you did my son, I don't want whatever you have to rub off on me.”

 

“Sir, please. I really love your son and-”

 

“It's okay Youngjae. Don't bother.” Jaebum interrupted him.

 

He wanted his parents to accept him or at least accept that he was different from what they had hoped he would be, but that he was still their son. But that wasn't going to happen. At least not now, maybe never. The moment his father pulled away from his boyfriend like he had some sort of contagious disease he was done. He needed them to not be here. “I think it's time you left.” he spoke in the calmest voice he could muster.

 

His father huffed and shook his head, “Yeah, we'll leave, but don't bother coming home as long as you still think you're...” He hesitated to finish his sentence, as if he couldn't even say the word.

 

“Gay. I'm gay, dad.”

 

“I don't have a gay son.”

 

“Yes, you do. I am your son and I am gay.”

 

“Then I don't have a son.” And with that he turned around, coaxing his wife toward the door. Leaving his son broken.

 

The door slammed shut and for a moment it was dead silent. Youngjae was angry and hurting for him, he wanted to make him feel better, but he didn't know how to. Jaebum started pacing around the room, running a hand through his hair, trying to steady his breathing. “Jaebum...” Youngjae tried with a soft voice.

 

“I'm so angry, Youngjae. I'm angry at him, at them, at myself, at everything. And it hurts and I...” He kicked the couch and sat down onto it, burying his head in his hands, “I don't know how to deal with this. I can't...I just...” he couldn't control his breathing and his voice was coming out shaky and broken. Youngjae sat down on the floor with his hands on JB's knees, hoping that it would somehow calm him down a little. “I just want them, him, to understand. I love you so damn much and it hurts that they hate me for it...how can they hate me for something that feels so right for me?” He looked at the boy sitting down in front of him. He inhaled strongly, pushing back the tears that had formed in the corner of his eyes.

 

Youngjae gently took one of his boyfriend's hands and stroked it with soft strokes, “They don't hate you.”

 

Jaebum sniffed, “How can you think that? Didn't you see the way he looked at me? They way he reacted when you touched him? And my mom...she just stood there. She let him say all those awful things.” 

 

Youngjae continued to stroke his hands, “I know. He said awful things. Horrible things. Things no parent should ever say to their child. But I don't believe they'd really hate you.”

 

_ Just hormones. Just sex _ . _ It's wrong _ . His mind was a confusing blur of anger towards his parents, a crushing pain that came with the feeling like his parents have turned from him and might not turn back, and his immense love for the boy kneeling down in front of him, saying things to try and make him feel better. Normally Youngjae comforting him like this would be enough, but it wasn't working. He still felt his body tremble and like he needed to punch a wall and destroy all the furniture in the dorm. He was stuck in his head trying to take control of his thoughts when he felt Youngjae move up and press their lips together, softly. He was going to sit down again, having only wanted to offer some form of comfort with the kiss, but JB stopped him. He pulled him closer with a hand on the back of his neck and joined their lips in a rough kiss. Youngjae was surprised by his boyfriend's hungry lips, but he didn't question it. Whatever he'd need to feel better he'd give to him. Jaebum moved them down from the couch and onto the floor in one sudden move. Youngjae was on his back with JB hovering over him, looking at him with dark eyes. Jaebum leaned down and roughly forced his tongue in Youngjae's mouth. He'd never felt this desperate for sex. But it wasn't like a horny need and this wasn't like the times he wanted to  _ be _ with him. No, right now he wanted to  _ fuck _ him. Hard and without holding anything back. He opened Youngjae's buttoned up shirt with such force a button may have come off, but he didn't care, he didn't even notice. He pulled his own shirt over his head and threw it away, it landed on the coffee table, knocking over an almost empty cup, the remaining contents spilling on the wooden surface. He didn't care, he didn't notice. Again he leaned down and instantly had his tongue invading Youngjae's mouth. His hands roamed over his chest. He pulled away from Youngjae's mouth, a string of saliva still connecting them, and moved on to his neck. He sucked, hard. It would definitely leave a mark. He didn't care. He wanted it to leave a mark. Youngjae moaned and JB sucked harder.

 

When Youngjae moved his hand to JB's hair it got pulled off with a firm grip on his wrist. Jaebum pinned his arm to the floor and grabbed his other wrist as well, pinning it down. This time he placed marks all over Youngjae's chest, still pinning his arms to the floor. He only released him so he could use his hands to remove the remainder of their clothing, throwing them wherever. With a few firm strokes he made sure Youngjae was fully hard. Seeing as they were in the middle of the living room floor there was no lube in reach. Jaebum didn't care and used his spit to slicken up his fingers instead. He pushed Youngjae's legs open and immediately started to work him open. Youngjae inhaled sharply when Jaebum was quick to add more fingers and it caused JB to stop. But only for a moment. His boyfriend's gasp had almost brought him back from the mindless state he was in, thinking for a split second that he was being  _ too _ rough, but Youngjae gave him a look that said it was okay to continue, that it was okay to not hold back. 

 

When he felt Youngjae was loose enough Jaebum pulled out his fingers with one smooth movement. He was about to use his own spit again to wet his cock, but why would he use his own spit for that when Youngjae's warm, wet, willing mouth was right there underneath him. He moved up and placed his legs on either side of Youngjae, hovering over his chest, his erection ready. Youngjae started to lift his head and was assisted by a hand in his hair, pulling him up. Jaebum used the movement from his hips and the grip he had on Youngjae's hair to fuck deep into his mouth. Youngjae couldn't help the tear that ran down his face when JB went even deeper, it was a new sensation for both of them. Usually their sex had some feeling of gentleness to it. Even when they would have hot, hard sex it was never this rough and careless. Youngjae hated the reasons why his boyfriend was in this state, but damn, he wouldn't mind having sex like this more often. Jaebum pulled out with a pop and lifted one leg over Youngjae, he leaned in for one more rough kiss before he positioned himself between Youngjae's legs. There was no gradual build up, the pace was fast and hard from the moment he started to push inside. Youngjae moaned and Jaebum closed his eyes to revel in the sound. There was only that. Youngjae's sounds of pleasure and the feeling of his cock going in and out of him. After some time he pulled out and signaled for Youngjae to turn around. Youngjae got on all fours and waited for Jaebum to slide back inside, his fingers digging into the soft skin of Youngjae's hips, pulling him closer. Their bodies clashed together, both of them sticky with sweat. Just as Youngjae's arms started to feel a bit shaky he felt a hand on his shoulder pushing him down until he was face down on the carpet, Jaebum going even harder and deeper than before. The tight grip JB had on his hips hurt, but felt amazing at the same time. He'd never been taken this hard before. His moans even sounded different than normal, more desperate. He didn't think he could take it much longer and he had the good sense to look around for the box of tissues that was usually somewhere on the coffee table. “Don't come yet” Jaebum moaned. Youngjae let out a pathetic whimper in return, but he managed to control his orgasm until Jaebum finally came. Still panting Jaebum pulled out and sank back against the couch. 

 

Normally Youngjae would cuddle up to his boyfriend, but considering the fact they were in the living room he felt it was best to sprint to the bathroom to clean up some of the mess. When he came back he found JB where he'd left him. Naked and sweaty, leaning against the couch. His eyes red. Youngjae walked over and leaned down to grab his hands, “come on” he said softly, “we need to shower, okay?”

 

Jaebum didn't reply but he followed Youngjae to the bathroom. He let Youngjae guide him into the shower and he let him wash him. Youngjae was busy scrubbing JB's chest when he felt fingertips running down the place on his neck where Jaebum had left a dark mark earlier. “I'm sorry I was so rough...”

 

Youngjae smiled, “You don't have to apologize. If I wasn't okay with it I would have said something, okay? Please don't feel bad.”

 

Jaebum's fingers trailed down along the marks on Youngjae's chest down to his hips, the skin still red from Jaebum's strong grip, “you promise? I wasn't feeling like myself, I just...I don't know, I just needed...I wanted to...”

 

Youngjae stroked his head and smiled at him again, “You just needed that.” Youngjae finished for him. “I'm glad I could be there for you.”

 

Youngjae let out a surprised puff of air when strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him close. “I love you, Youngjae. I love you.”

 

Youngjae wrapped his own arms around Jaebum as well, “I love you too, Jaebum.” He rested his head against Jaebum's shoulder and added, “oh and just for future reference but...feel free to fuck me like that again.”

 

Later that afternoon Youngjae got a text from Jinyoung asking how things went and if there was anything they could do (in case things hadn't gone so well). So far Youngjae had tried to keep Jaebum distracted and focused on other things by playing video games and showing him funny cat videos, but he figured some GOT7 love and support was what was needed here. When the other members got home later that afternoon they had numerous shopping bags with them. “What's all that?” Jaebum inquired. 

  
“Everything we need for an all member, all night, good ol' fashion slumber party!”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D:
> 
> I was really in the mood for some rough 2jae smut. Hopefully next time JB will feel better at the start of it. 
> 
> Next chap will be lighter, a got7 slumber party! (I'm not saying nothing crazy will happen...)
> 
> Comments are much appriciated, let me know what you think!


	25. Slumber party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a GOT7 slumber party! They play games, watch movies, drink cocktails, and talk about...stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...this feels like a bit of a mess, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway! (ｏ￣∇￣ｏ)♪
> 
> Please fuel me with comments ( ⊙᎑⊙ )

“A slumber party?” JB asked. They've had slumber parties in the past when it was first decided they were going to debut together, as a type of group bonding, but it never really happened anymore these days.

 

“That's right.” Jackson walked over enthusiastically with shopping bags still in his hands. “We have loads of snacks and drinks and we're going to watch movies and play games and-”

 

“Braid each other's hair?” BamBam added with a snicker. 

 

Jackson sighed and gave him an annoyed stare,“BamBam...just...okay...” He turned his attention back to JB, “Let's just say it's to time to eat ramen and Netflix and Chill!”

 

Mark sighed and shook his head, “Please don't make it sound like we're about to have a mass orgy or something.”

 

“What? You don't like ramen? You don't like the convenience of watching numerous series and movies where you want when you want?” Jackson ignored the unimpressed look Mark was giving him and turned to Jinyoung, “Jinyoung! I'm putting you in charge of cocktails!”

 

“Cocktails?” Youngjae asked curiously and he got up to peek in the bag of ingredients. Their previous slumber parties had never involved alcohol.

 

“Cocktails!” Jackson repeated. Youngjae nodded with approval as he took one of the bags from Jackson, “I'll help!”

 

Jinyoung nodded and they went to the kitchen, but a few minutes later Jinyoung popped his head through the kitchen door, “Jaebum, what kind of cocktail do you want? You get first pick!”

 

He though for a moment, he hardly ever drank cocktails and wasn't sure what their names were, “Jinyoung...please make me the gayest cocktail you can think of. I want it to be pink and I want it to have a name like  _ Glittery Unicorn Dick _ ! _ ” _

 

“One stereotypical gay drink coming right up!”

 

Jaebum got up to see what he could do to help set things up when he overheard Jackson asking BamBam if he thought they should wait with bringing the mattresses to the living room until after twister.

 

“I am  _ not _ playing twister.” Jaebum said with a scrunched up face as if the mere thought insulted him.

 

Jackson held up his hands in defense, “All right, all right no twister!” When Jinyoung walked in and handed Jaebum a cocktail (that looked like it could actually be called  _ Glittery Unicorn Dick _ ) Jackson whispered in his ear, “ _ keep em coming, please. He doesn't want to play twister. _ ”

 

<>

 

They started off the evening with a fighting game tournament, getting less and less sober with each round. Jinyoung especially, and drunk and happy Jinyoung was very clingy. During the scary movie they'd watched (after Youngjae won the finale of their game tournament against Mark) he was holding on to Mark as if his life depended on it, but after Mark had gotten up to refresh his drink after the movie he had squeezed himself next to Youngjae on the couch and wrapped an arm and a leg around him.

 

“Youngjaaeee” Jinyoung whined.

 

“Y-yes?” Youngjae answered, not sure what kind of mood this was.

 

“I love you, Youngjae.”

 

“I love you too, hyung” Youngjae chuckled.

 

“When you laugh the sun fades into the background, your signing voice is so amazing I sometimes dream about it and think I've died and gone to heaven...” Jinyoung continued.

 

“Okay, Jinyoung...ehm, thanks.” he glanced over at Mark who was sitting down again and seemed quite amused by his boyfriend's current state.

 

Jinyoung lifted Youngjae's hand and stared at it for a moment, “You have pretty hands” he let go and Youngjae's hand fell back on his lap, “and pretty arms, and a pretty ne-” suddenly Jinyoung let out a loud gasp and pulled on the collar of Youngjae's shirt.

 

“W-what?”

 

“Youngjae, what happened to your neck? It's all bruised or something.” Jinyoung spotted more marks lower on Youngjae's collarbone, he shoved his face closer trying to look down Youngjae's shirt.

 

“Jinyoung, do you mind not molesting Youngjae?” Jaebum said calmly.

 

“But, but, his pretty neck.” he stammered in reply, “Did you see this Jaebum, did you see?!”

 

“Jinyoung...” Jackson started, “from what I can see those are some serious hickeys. So I think Jaebum might already know that they're there seeing as it's most likely he's the one responsible.”

 

Jinyoung gasped again, along with being clingy drunkenness also made Jinyoung very melodramatic, “My innocent baby...”

 

“He's not that innocent.” Jaebum said with a smirk.

 

Jinyoung ignored JB and firmly stroked Youngjae's hair, “shhh, it's okay Youngjae. Hyung will make it better.” Before anyone could say or do anything Jinyoung placed three fingers on the side of Youngjae's face, turned his head to face him, leaned in and pressed his lips on Youngjae's. He pulled back, creating a smacking sound in the process, and continued stroking his hair dramatically, leaving the rest of the people in the room to stare at him with wide eyes (Youngjae included).

 

“What...was that?” BamBam asked what everybody was thinking.

 

Jinyoung put his head on Youngjae's shoulder and clung to his arm, “What?” he replied innocently.

 

“You just kissed Youngjae...?” Yugyeom said with a quiet voice, trying not to look at Mark or Jaebum, unsure what their reactions would be.

 

Jinyoung scoffed, “That was barely a kiss and it was just to make him feel better, nothing sexual or anything.”

 

“It was random and weird!” BamBam yelled, again, what everybody was thinking.

 

“It's not like I kissed Jaebum.  _ That _ would be weird.”

 

“Why would that be weirder than you kissing  _ his boyfriend _ !?” BamBam asked in reply.

 

“Because  _ my _ boyfriend is sitting here and he knows I used to have a crush on Jaebum.”

 

“E-excuse me?” Jackson said, almost choking on this drink.

 

“Ah...oops...I forgot I was talking out loud...ah well...I guess Nora is out of the bag now.”

 

“What does Nora have to do with this?”

 

“Nora is a....”

 

“...”

 

“A cat. The cat's out of the bag. It's an expression. Read a book.”

 

“Don't try to change the subject with terrible jokes, mister! When was this crush on Jaebum happening? And why didn't you ever have a crush on me!” Jackson continued to question.

 

“Hm? Oh before we became GOT7, but it went away after that.”

 

“Some time after that” Mark added.

 

“What do you mean?” Jackson asked, intrigued.

 

“I mean...there were plenty of times I saw Jinyoung staring at JB who was staring at Youngjae.”

 

Jinyoung got up (tried to get up was more accurate) and he half crawled over to his boyfriend, “aww, that means you were staring at  _ me _ . Baby, don't be jealous you know that's all in the past. I love you so much...you and me...we belong together...forever...and ever and ever.” He put his head on Mark's knee and wrapped his arms around his legs.

 

“You know...” BamBam said very seriously, “I just thought of something...what if you guys would ever get married someday and Mark would take Jinyoung's name...he'd be Mark Park.” It was silent for a moment before BamBam, Jackson, and Youngjae erupted in loud laughter at the thought. Mark and Yugyeom just chuckled.

 

“Mark Park,” BamBam repeated half out of breath from laughing, “I can't.”

 

While the focus was on the idea of Mark taking Jinyoung's last name and becoming 'Mark Park', Yugyeom was the only one who noticed how Jinyoung whispered  _ Jinyoung Tuan _ to himself and how he got a stupid smile on his face and hid his blushy face against Mark's legs. Yugyeom smiled at his adorable hyung.

 

After the laughter died down Mark got up to go to the bathroom. The way Jinyoung had kissed Youngjae didn't really bother him. It was drunk and innocent enough. He was just hoping JB wouldn't turn it into something bigger, he was quite the jealous type. What Mark hadn't expected when he got back into the living room was to be met with a smirking, somewhat awkward looking, JB.

 

“W-what?” Mark asked hesitantly.

 

“Jinyoung said it was okay to do it.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“This” Jaebum got closer and immediately pressed their lips together. When he pulled back Mark was staring at him with shock on his face. “What...the...I am not drunk enough for this shit.”

 

“It's not fair, I want to kiss someone! Someone kiss me!” Jackson jumped up.

 

“I'll do it!” Jinyoung was already leaning over when he got pulled back by his shirt by Mark who was starting to get enough of all this random kissing. Jinyoung was about to give an angry glare at whoever had stopped him from kissing Jackson until he saw it was his boyfriend. A huge grin appeared on his face and he stood up and wrapped his arms around Mark's neck (Mark quickly wrapped his arms around Jinyoung, but more to keep him steady), “Maaaark!” he said happily.

 

“Yes, Jinyoung?”

 

“I've missed you!”

 

“I just went to the bathroom for like two minutes. And you told someone else to kiss me...how much did you really miss me?” he asked jokingly.

 

“A whooole lot! You're so pretty!”

 

“Thank you, so are you.”

 

“You're so pretty and sweet and amazing in bed! I know we haven't done it  _ that _ many times yet but damn whenever you-” his voices was drowned out by Jackson's.

 

“Someone kiss meeee! Kiss me, kiss me, kiss m-” BamBam suddenly shot up from where he was sitting, grabbed Jackson's face and pressed their lips together for a moment. He pulled back laughing like what he just did was the most hilarious joke ever.

 

“That...felt...so wrong somehow...” Jackson said as he slowly sat down on the couch. Youngjae patted him on the back laughing, “maybe you shouldn't just ask anyone to kiss you, Jacks. You'll end up with BamBam on your face.” 

 

“Seriously, not drunk enough for this shit.” Mark said, sinking back in his chair with Jinyoung following suit. Everybody laughed.

 

After it became quiet again Jinyoung, again sitting with his head on Mark's knees,  looked up at Mark, “What do you like about me?”

 

Mark smiled down at him, “A lot. I like how smart you are, how hard you work and how much you care, I like the cute way that you smile. Oh and your ass. It's perfect.” Jackson nodded in agreement.

 

“My ass? Well...I can't blame you, it's a pretty great ass.” He got up and, in his still drunken state, started to dance around singing parts from 'Bounce'. He stopped when someone slapped his ass. It was Youngjae.

 

“I guess it's perfect if you like round ass.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Mark said, “you like flat ass right? Like Jaebum's?”

 

“Hey!” Jaebum said defensively, “It's not  _ that _ flat...” he moped. He felt Youngjae snake his arm around his waist and pulling him closer.

 

“Honey, if your ass was any flatter it would actually be a dent.” Youngjae sneaked a hand between his boyfriend and the couch to feel his ass, “hmm nice and flat.”

 

“I guess me and my flat ass are lucky that you like it so much...” JB said still half mopey, but he got a smirk on his face when he made Youngjae squeak in surprise when he suddenly pinched his butt, “and for what it's worth, I like your ass a lot too. It has a nice...bounce.”

 

“You mean like when you spank it?” Jinyoung wondered, not, like he had meant to, to himself.

 

“Now that I think about it...” Jackson added, “when we spank someone on a variety show or something 9 out of 10 times it's Youngjae. Do you secretly like it and lose on purpose?”

 

“ehm, I...” but before Youngjae could say something everybody turned to look at Jinyoung who just couldn't seem to control which thoughts stayed in his head and which came out of his mouth, “I secretly like holding your hand when you get spanke...d” he slowed down when he realized everybody was staring at him. Shit. He hadn't meant to say that...ever. “I mean...” he started to stammer, “I mean to like comfort you...not like...it's just that...” he lifted his hands in despair and sighed, “you know what, fuck it, I'm too drunk to spin this around. I think spanking and the powerplay that comes with it is super hot, okay, let me live.”

 

“Well...aren't you just full of surprises tonight.” Jaebum said with a raised eyebrow, “From now on you can hold Mark's hand when  _ he _ gets spanked. Please leave my boyfriend out of your kinks.”

 

“But if Jinyoung is holding his hand, who would be spanking Mark?” BamBam wondered out loud.

 

“No-one!” Mark interjected.

 

“Then what's the point of holding your hand?” BamBam asked.

 

Mark threw a pillow to his head, “He won't have to hold my hand because I'm  _ not _ getting spanked.”

 

“Aww, now Jinyoung looks all sad!” Youngjae said with an amused smirk on his face. Mark held out his hand to the pouty boy at his feet and pulled him onto his lap. “But you know...” Youngjae continued, “between the two of you Jinyoung has the more spankable ass anyway.”

 

“Is that even a word?” Yugyeom asked.

 

“Youngjae doesn't care if things are actual words. He made up 'lubey'” Jaebum said in reply.

 

“Speaking of ass” Jackson suddenly spoke, completely interrupting the rest of the talk, “For the couples in the room....can I ask you something? It's totally fine if you don't want to answer but...I've been wondering...Okay, like...I know how gay sex works...I think...but I was wondering...with you guys...who..does what?”

 

“Jackson!” Yugyeom said, “that's so personal, you can't just ask that!”

 

“Shut up, Gyeom! I want to know too!” BamBam said.

 

“Why!?”

 

BamBam shrugged, “just 'cause.”

 

Yugyeom was about to argue about how weird Jackson and BamBam were when Mark spoke, “Both.”

 

Yugyeom looked at him like he was crazy to reveal such private things to the group. He looked at Jinyoung but he just stayed snuggled on his boyfriend's lap.

 

“Both?” Jackson asked curiously, “what do you mean?”

 

“I mean, sometimes I do the one position and sometimes the other.”

 

“Oh...” Jackson said, “I didn't know that was a thing...interesting.”

 

“So Jinyoung too?” Yugyeom asked before he turned completely red and covered his mouth, shocked by his own question.

 

BamBam cackled, “See! You want to know too, pervert!”

 

“Yugyeom!” Jinyoung gasped in fake shock and casually added,  “But, yes”

 

“How convenient” Jackson said with his eyebrows furrowed together in deep fascination, “but I guess it's not that way for all couples?”

 

“Oh definitely not, no.” Mark explained, “There are lots of people who only want to top or those who only bottom.”

 

“But how do you figure out what you like if you don't try both at least once?” Yugyeom asked with genuine curiosity.

 

“Well I guess tha-” Mark didn't get to finished. 

 

“Youngjae gives amazing blow jobs...” Jaebum said to no-one in particular.

 

“No-one asked that!” Youngjae yelled. He tried to sound a little angry, but he was laughing at the same time so it wasn't very convincing.

 

“No-one asked what?” Jaebum asked a bit dazed.

 

“Why are you talking about me giving blow jobs when Mark was just explaining something to Yugyeom!?”

 

“Was I?” Jaebum looked confused for a moment before he started laughing. He kept laughing until he was crying, after his laughter had died down the tears didn't stop. “If my dad saw me like this he would think he was right, wouldn't he? He would say  _ 'see, it's all just about sex. Two men can't be in love _ ' or some shit like that again”

 

“Jaebum...” Youngjae wrapped his arms around him and Jaebum hid his face in Youngjae's chest. Suddenly he felt horrible. His drunken mind had twisted and turned during the conversation until it was filled with the things his father had said to him.

 

“His dad really said that?” Mark asked with a low voice, trying not to disrupt the silence too suddenly. Youngjae nodded.

 

“Damn...”

 

After a few silent moments JB sat back up, sniffed, and looked at his boyfriend with love and gratitude in his eyes.  He stood up, “Fuck it. Let's play twister!”

 

Twister was a hilarious mess. Youngjae ended up with his face far too close to BamBam's crotch for his liking (he said it gave him horrible flashbacks to the first time they met and BamBam was naked); Jackson lost his balance and landed on top of Jaebum (and stayed there a little bit longer than he needed to); Jinyoung slapped Youngjae's ass before he fell and rolled over laughing, knocking over Mark along the way; Yugyeom was the only one who didn't fall once and his long limbs earned him the title 'master of twister'. Afterward they were all tired and decided to end the night with another movie. They pushed a few mattresses together on the floor in front of the TV to make one giant bed. It wasn't really big enough to fit all seven but no-one wanted to be a loner and take the couch, so they ended up close together. Jaebum had Youngjae on his left side and Jackson (who had insisted to be next to JB) on his right; on Jackson's other side was Yugyeom followed by Jinyoung, Mark, and finally BamBam. No-one made it through the whole movie, all falling asleep well before the end. The next morning JB was the first one awake. He had one arm wrapped around his boyfriend and Jackson was clinging to his other arm. He wriggled free and carefully stepped of the mattress. Jackson shivered and went looking for a different body to keep him warm and ended up with his face against Youngjae's chest. Jaebum looked at all of the members and smiled. Youngjae and Jackson looked so sweet and innocent like this; somehow Yugyeom had moved and was now in between Jinyoung and Mark and it looked just like a married couple with their son who had crawled in bed with his parents after a bad dream; BamBam had his arms and legs spread out and was half on the floor. Jaebum felt his heart swell with the amount of love he felt for the members of GOT7. He felt so lucky to have them as friends, as family. He yawned and was about to go to the kitchen to get some coffee (or maybe water and aspirin) when the doorbell rang. Some of the members stirred but no-one seemed to wake up. Jaebum tip-toed to the door, unsure about who it could possibly be. He opened the door and immediately was wide-awake.

 

“Mom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who've seen Friends. Jackbam was inspired by that time Chandler wanted someone to kiss him for New Years and Joey ended up kissing him. It was just for funz Jackbam won't be a thing ^_^;
> 
> Anyway、that was the slumber party. I'm so tired right now tbh, but I wanted to post this for you guys!


	26. Talk in the kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JB's mother shows up after their slumber party to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everytime I think 'oh it hasn't been that long since I posted an update' it's been at least two weeks ^_^;

“Can I come in?” Jaebum's mother asked with a voice that wavered slightly.

 

He didn't say anything but he moved out of the way and gestured for her to come in. He momentarily forgot about the pile of members still asleep in the living room. He guided his mother into the kitchen, too dazed to even care. For a second he met eyes with Mark who was sitting up on the mattress, he seemed to be the only one awake. He saw JB's mother, who, perhaps intentionally, didn't look at that part of the living room but went straight to the kitchen. Mark gave his friend a re-assuring nod that, he hoped, told him he would make sure the others wouldn't interrupt him and his mother but that they were here in case he needed them. JB gave a nod back, so small he wasn't sure Mark could even see it, and went in to the kitchen, closing the door behind him.

 

His mother was silently standing near the kitchen table and she didn't sit down until her son asked her to, “Please, sit down. I'll make us some coffee.” She sat down and waited as he made the coffee in silence, not looking at her. He didn't know why she was here or what she wanted. She had barely said anything yesterday, nothing after the g-word was dropped. Now she suddenly shows up here? Did she want to apologize or was she going to make things even worse? He put down a cup of coffee in front of her and sat down on the opposite side of the kitchen table with his own cup. The silence continued. He stared at his coffee and warmed his hands on the cup. Was he supposed to talk first? He didn't think that made any sense since she was the one who showed up at  _ his _ house, but the silence soon became unbearable. Too many scenario's going through his head. So he decided to break the silence first. “Why are you here, mom?”

 

His mother shifted in her seat. She was clearly somewhat uncomfortable or nervous, probably both.“Jaebum...I came here to tell you that you are my son and I love you. No matter what.”

 

Jaebum still didn't look straight at her, “But...?” he continued for her.

 

“No matter what.” she repeated firmly.

 

This time Jaebum lifted his head to look into his mother's eyes, “If that's really how you feel...why didn't you tell me that yesterday?” He tried to sound as neutral as possible, but the anger and hurt from yesterday started to creep up in his stomach again.

 

This time it was his mother who averted her gaze, “I...your father can be very...headstrong. It wouldn't have made a difference.”

 

“It would have made a difference to me. A huge difference. Do you know how alone I felt when dad was yelling at me that I was abnormal and not his son? Even with Youngjae there to comfort me...I really could have used you, mom.” he felt himself choking up and he stopped talking. He didn't want to cry in front of her. His mother turned her head to look at him, he could see her eyes were wet.

 

“I'm sorry. Besides your father being who he is I was also in a bit of a shock. I've suspected that you didn't like girls for awhile, but I was hoping that I was just seeing things and I honestly did not expect you to just announce that you were in a relationship with another man like that.”

 

Jaebum felt his stomach twist. His mother had been hoping that he wasn't gay, hoping that he was a 'normal' son. “I did not 'just announce' anything. Don't you know how much it took for me to accept myself? To first stop denying that I might not be straight and then that I actually liked someone and that it was okay that I did? You might as well stop hoping for a better son because this one is gay.”

 

“That's not what I meant, Jaebum!” Her voice cracked a little. “Do you think it's weird for a parent to hope their child isn't gay? There is a lot of negativity and intolerance in this world and no parent wants their child to have to go through that! I didn't mean that I think you are any less of a son. You are my son and I love you. I hope you and Youngjae make each other happy. I realize I wasn't supportive yesterday, but your father...”

 

It was silent again. Jaebum could tell his mother was trying hard to fight back her tears. Seeing her this vulnerable caused the anger and hurt he felt a few moments ago to start fading away. She was here now, telling him that she still loved him. She was trying. “It's okay, mom. I understand. Please don't cry.” He got up and knelt down next to his mother and put an arm around her. She hugged him back and she couldn't hold her tears back any longer. When he could feel his mother's shoulders had stopped shaking he stood back up, and he took a big manly sniff to try and mask his own tears. “More coffee?” 

 

“No thank you, son. I should probably head back soon. We leave for home shortly. I told your father I was going to do some sightseeing. But before I leave I think we need to talk about him.”

 

Uneasiness settled in his stomach as he sat back down again on the opposite side of the table. This time he waited for his mother to break the silence first.

 

“Jaebum. Like I've said, I love you, you are my son, and I want to support you. You and Youngjae. But your father...he is not okay with this and trying to convince him is not going to work. This will rip the family apart...I know it's not fair and I wish it were different, I really do, but can you please, please, tell your father you have ended things with Youngjae?”

 

There it was again, that feeling in his stomach or hurt and anger twisting together. “Why?” was the only thing he managed to utter.

 

“Please, son. If you don't tell your father that it's over between you and Youngjae, that it was just a phase, he will never let you come back home! I can't make him accept you, no matter how much I'd-”

 

“Can't or won't?” Jaebum interrupted her harsly. “Just to be clear. You totally accept the fact that I'm gay and in a relationship with another man, but you expect me to deny who I am and who I love so that I can come home for the holidays because my father would rather pretend he has no son at all than a gay one and my mother is too much of a coward to stand up for her son who, again, she loves and supports completely?”

 

“Please don't make this harder than it has to be, Jaebum. Please understand that I just want us to be a family.”

 

“Don't you understand that Youngjae is my family too, mom. What kind of family can I be with people who deny that part of me? Who are only okay with having me around if I pretend I'm someone that I'm not...why would I want to go to your house where I can't bring my partner when I can stay with people who do accept us. Like Youngjae's family.” He could tell that the mention of Youngjae's family struck a cord with his mother. She was tearing up again. She stood up, not looking at him.

 

“I have to go now. Please think about it and think about what it means if you don't.” She stood still for a moment as if she was hesitating if she should walk over and hug him goodbye, but she walked out of the kitchen without saying another word. Jaebum could hear the front door closing. After a few moments the kitchen door was opened slowly. It was Youngjae. “Can I come in?” he asked cautiously. His boyfriend nodded. Youngjae walked over to him and Jaebum immediately pulled him on his lap and held him tight, burying his face in his chest. “What happened, Jaebum?”

 

He sighed and took a deep breath, taking in Youngjae's smell, “Well...first she told me she loves me and she wants to support me...and us being together. So that was good. But then she told me to tell my dad we weren't together anymore and that it was just a phase and I'm not really gay. That was not so good.”

 

Youngjae tightly wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, “Jaebum, I'm so sorry.” He felt Jaebum's strong arms pulling him even closer. They sat like this for a while. Jaebum felt calmer when he was surrounded by the warmth of Youngjae's body. Jaebum took a deep breath and pulled away, “Coffee?” he asked. Youngjae nodded with a soft smile and got up from his lap. Jaebum put down a mug in front of his boyfriend who looked up at him with a hesitant expression, “Jaebum? Are you going to talk to your father again?”

 

Jaebum sat down, “Nah. Not now anyway. If I talk to him now he'll get angry again, I'll get angry again. For now I just want to distract myself and think about happier things.”

 

Youngjae nodded his head, biting his lip. A small smile appeared on his face, “Another slumber party?” he suggested only half joking. 

 

“I don't know...”Jaebum replied, a smile finding his own face as well, “if we get Jinyoung drunk again he might actually make out with Jackson this time and I'm not sure Mark would like that...”

 

“I would though...” Youngjae said casually.

 

“Excuse me? You want to make out with Jackson?”

 

“Well, not particularly. I more meant that I wouldn't mind watching Wang gae Park gae making out. Don't tell Mark I said this but those two sometimes have this amazing sexual tension thing going on, on stage, and it's super hot.”

 

“I'm totally telling Mark that you said that.” Jaebum calmly sipped his coffee.

 

“Jaebum, no you can't tell Mark!”

 

“What can't you tell me?”

 

Youngjae turned his head to the voice coming from the other side of the kitchen and looked at Mark, who had just walked in, with wide eyes.

 

“Youngjae wants to watch your boyfriend make out with Jackson.” Jaebum informed him, amusement spread across his face seeing his own boyfriend look at him in shock before he turned back to Mark.

 

“No! I didn't say that! Well, I mean...kind off, but I don't  _ really _ want to see it, you know. More like...if we lived in an alternative universe and you weren't a couple!” 

 

“Wow, I just came in here to see if everything was okay, but I feel so attacked right now. And Youngjae, seriously...what is it with you and wanting to watch other couples getting it on?” Mark poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table with them, raising an eyebrow in Youngjae's direction.

 

“What do you mean?” JB asked curiously, “who else did he say he'd like to watch making out?”

 

“Mark!” Youngjae gave his friend a pleading look. Why was he getting exposed so early in the morning?

 

“Minhyuk and Hakyeon.”

 

“Mark!”

 

“He said he wants to watch them do it. He said they're both bendy, Minhyuk is cute but has killer abs and N is sex on a stick.” He took a sip from his coffee.

 

“I did NOT say it like that!”

 

“Mark is right though,” their heads turned to find Jinyoung who had just walked in, catching half of the conversation, “I'm not sure what you're talking about but Cha Hakyeon is the embodiment of sexy.” He leaned his back against the kitchen counter, “But I think he and Minhyuk broke up again...permanently this time it seems. I heard N dumped him for some actor guy.” He sighed. “But anyway, why are we talking about this so early in the day?”

 

“Don't look at me” Mark said holding up his hands in defense, “when I walked in Youngjae was apparently saying he wants to watch you make-out with Jackson.”

 

Jinyoung scoffed, “Like I would make-out with Jackson.” 

 

Mark scoffed back, “You almost did last night if I hadn't stopped you.”

 

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow. What was Mark talking about?

 

“It was one thing when you kissed Youngjae, but-”

 

“What are you even talking about? I never kissed Young-” Flashes from the previous night started to come back to Jinyoung. He remembered telling Youngjae how much he loves him, seeing the hickeys on his neck...kissing him...he also remembered crawling over to Jackson, ready to kiss him, and...Mark Park? “Oh...my...god...you guys, I'm so sorry! I'm never drinking again! Dammit.”

 

Mark got up and put a hand on his panicking boyfriend's arm, seeing that he was freaking out about this way more than was necessary, “Hey, it's okay. No-one is upset. It's not like it happened sober or in secret. We were all there.”

Jinyoung looked up at him, eyes still panicky, “I'm so sorry...I should have learned not to drink so much after what happened the last time I got drunk...Please, Mark, I'm sorry.”

 

“This was nothing like that, okay. I know that.” Mark didn't like how freaked out and panicked his boyfriend was getting over this. It showed just just how fragile he still was, thinking that even the slightest thing would be enough for Mark to turn from him. So he decided to lighten the mood a little. 

 

“Relax babe, it's not like you told everyone about your spanking kink. Oh wait, you did.” Mark couldn't help laughing looking at his boyfriend's mortified face.

 

“Are we talking about drunk Jinyoung? Because that shit was hilarious.” BamBam said as he Yugyeom, and Jackson made their way into the kitchen (which really wasn't big enough for all seven of them to be in at the same time).

 

“You thought everything was hilarious.” Yugyeom said, shaking his head.

 

Jackson dramatically grabbed Mark's arm, “Help me, I'm having flashbacks of him kissing me.”

 

Mark wiggled his arm free, “You said you wanted someone to kiss you, it's not BamBam's fault you don't think he's good enough for you.”

 

Jackson gasped, “Don't listen to him BamBam! Just because I don't want your tongue down my throat doesn't mean I don't love you an incredible amount!”

 

Everybody laughed and Mark was glad to see Jinyoung's expression had eased up and he snaked an arm around his waist, pulling him closer.

 

“Wait...” JB said slowly, getting his own flashbacks from last night, “Did...did I...kiss...”

 

“Mark?” Youngjae finished for him.

 

Jinyoung was about to say something until he remembered he was the one who had told JB to kiss his boyfriend. What even was last night.

 

“You guys could almost form a foursome...” Jackson said absentmindedly. “I mean...the only two that haven't kissed are JJ Project. Right...?” he looked between the two of them.

 

“We haven't! Of course not!” Jaebum suddenly remembered Jinyoung's drunken confession of his past feelings for him and he wasn't sure if he should say something or ignore it, instead he just rambled on. “I mean, not ' _ of course' _ not. It's not that Jinyoung isn't a very attractive man or anything, just not to me. I mean...we...I don't feel that way and...eeh...the past is the past...people just...ehm...yes.” He stopped talking before he started to make even less sense.

 

Suddenly  _ everyone  _ remembered Jinyoung's drunk confession and the room was filled with an awkward silence.

 

“Youngjae hurry get up!” BamBam said pulling on Youngjae's arm.

 

“W-why?”

 

“So we can spank you and distract everyone from this awkward situation!”

 

Again the kitchen was filled with laughter and after that people started to focus on getting breakfast and other topics of conversation. Jaebum looked at his members again like he had earlier this morning. While Youngjae was busy feeding Coco Mark made his way next to Jaebum, “You okay, man?”

 

“Yeah. Right now, I'm good.”

 

<>

 

Both Jaebum and Jinyoung were out working and, while they would never admit that this is what they were doing, Mark and Youngjae were just killing time at home waiting for their boyfriends to come back. Both on their beds playing with their phones. Youngjae looked up from his game when he heard Mark's message notification go off for the millionth time.

 

“Maybe if you stop distracting him Jinyoung will get home sooner.” Youngjae suggested.

 

“Hm?” Mark replied only half listening, “oh it's not Jinyoung.”

 

“You have other friends besides us? I'm shocked.”

 

“It's not really a friend. More like an acquaintance ex-type person.”

 

Youngjae sat up at this. “What does that mean? Like an ex-boyfriend ex?

 

“I guess...” chewing on his bottom lip.

 

“I thought you said you had only dated girls?” 

 

“Well back in the States...yes. I met this guy here. But I wouldn't really consider what he and I did as 'dating'...so ex might be a big word”

 

“And now you're talking to him? Does Jinyoung know?”

 

Mark put down his phone and looked at Youngjae, “Look. Me and this guy was barely a thing. We just hung out and did some other stuff. He got busy with his job I got busy with GOT7 and we just lost touch. A little while ago he contacted me again because he'd seen our performance on some music show and we just got to talking. It's no big deal.”

 

“That doesn't answer my question if you've told Jinyoung about him.”

 

Mark rolled his eyes, “If it's so important to you I'll tell him, but I don't see how it matters. I'm sure he doesn't tell me about every person he texts with.”

 

“If you say so.” Youngjae said, lying back down on his bed.

 

Mark got up from his bed and walked towards the door. “I'm going to wait for Jinyoung in his room, see if I can get lucky when he comes home.”

 

“You're so romantic” Youngjae said sarcastically. 

 

“I am, actually. But right now, I'm also horny and want to have hot sex with my boyfriend.”

 

“Ew, well get out of here then and try to keep it down.”

 

“You don't have to worry about me, Jinyoung is the loud one.”

 

“Interesting...” Youngjae wiggled his eyebrows.

 

Mark walked back to his bed to grab his pillow so he could throw it at Youngjae's face.

  
Later that night Mark had planned to do what Youngjae had said and tell Jinyoung about his sort-of-ex that he was in contact with again, but when Jinyoung walked into his room, right out of the shower with his hair still damp and no shirt on...Mark's mouth became a little bit preoccupied. He'll tell him some other time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Makr...you better listen to Youngae! 
> 
> I've noticed I've been getting less comments here. Maybe people have switched to reading on Asian fanfics? Or are people ghosts? (I totally understand btw, but comments are just nice ฅ^._.^ฅ)


	27. In a closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark thinks Jinyoung is mad at him. What is happening with that not-really-an-ex-guy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chap is mostly Markjin (Markjiiiin).
> 
> Side-note: did we all see that 2jae selfie with JB sleeping on Youngjae's shoulders? *sobs*

Jaebum didn't talk to his father after that day. His mother didn't call as much as she used to and when she did they both avoided the subject. He knew it couldn't be like this forever, but for now he didn't want to deal with it. He tried to focus all his attention on Youngjae and GOT7. They had a full schedule today and he was full-on in leader-mode.

 

“Okay guys, we have a few minutes until the photo shoot starts so get something to drink, go to the bathroom. Oh and, Jinyoung? I know that interview was long, but try not to be so grumpy and annoyed during our fan meet this afternoon, okay?”

 

BamBam made a loud  _ 'oooooh' _ sound while covering his mouth. Jinyoung ignored him. He just got up and walked to the door, “Yeah, sure.”

 

He stood in front of the vending machine trying to figure out what to get. He let out a loud annoyed sigh when he noticed his favorite drink was sold out. He had half-a-mind to kick this vending machine's ass. He aggressively pushed the button for another drink when he heard a voice next to him, “What did that vending machine ever do to you?”

 

Jinyoung looked over to find his boyfriend staring at him with a smirk. A smirk that disappeared as soon as he was met with Jinyoung's glare.

 

Mark sighed, “Jinyoung, are you mad at me or something?”

 

Jinyoung twisted his drink open and took a tiny sip, still annoyed that this wasn't the drink he really wanted, “Why would you think that?”

 

“Because you've been short with me all day and you're kind of avoiding me.”

 

“No I haven't and I'm not. Can we just get back to the others.” He tried to walk passed Mark but he blocked him.

 

“Jinyoung, please just tell me what's wrong.” Mark said with a gentle touch to his arm.

 

Jinyoung sighed. He supposed there was no use lying at this point. “Okay, fine. But not here, people might hear.” He grabbed him by the wrist and pulled them into what seemed to be a supply closet for photo props. For a moment he stood with his back facing Mark, who was getting a little anxious from the way Jinyoung was behaving. He turned around and looked Mark in the eye, “I'm freakin' horny, okay.”

 

Mark couldn't help letting out a laugh of relief, “W-what? Jeez, I thought you were mad at me or something.”

 

“It's not funny!” Jinyoung exclaimed, almost offended that Mark was making light of this, “It's horrible! I can't focus! Every time I hear your voice I want to make you moan my name. I want to rip of your clothes, press you against a wall and fuck you senseless. And it's super annoying.”

 

“I didn't know us having sex was annoying.” Mark said with a hint of tease in his voice.

 

“You know what I mean. Being able to think about nothing else is what's annoying. We're not teenagers anymore, shouldn't this phase be over?”

 

“How much time do you need?” Mark said in a low voice as he got a little closer.

 

Jinyoung blinked in confusion, not sure what Mark was getting at, “What do you mean?”

 

“To rip off my clothes, press me against a wall and fuck me senseless?”

 

“Why?” Jinyoung asked with suspicion in his voice and narrow eyes, not failing to notice Mark's hands fumbling with the collar of his shirt.

 

“After this photo shoot we have a break before the fan meet, right?”

 

“Yeah...but I don't think we'll have enough time to go to a hotel and get back here”

 

“Who said anything about going to a hotel?”

 

“Mark, are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting? We can't do that!”

 

Mark tilted his head slightly, like an innocent puppy, “Why not?”

 

Jinyoung gaped at him. He didn't know his boyfriend was so scandalous as to suggest having sex in a semi-public place, “B-because! It's inappropriate!”

 

“So is you getting a boner at our fan meet, which is going to happen because now I know how horny you are and I was planning to provide our lovely fans with some A+ Markjin fanservice and give you lots of backhugs and teasing glances.”

 

“Mark! We can't just have s-e-x here!”

 

Mark chuckled,“Why are you spelling?” He leaned in closer and nuzzled his boyfriend's neck, “Doesn't a part of you think it'll be super hot to do it in a place like this?” He gave his neck a soft kiss,“and it's not like we'd be the first idols to hook-up in a closet or whatever.”

 

“You watch too many movies, people don't actually do that!” Despite how opposed to the idea he was trying to be Jinyoung made no effort in getting Mark away from him.

 

Mark chuckled and brought his head up, wrapping his arms around Jinyoung's neck, “Sometimes you and Jaebum are really alike, do you know that?”

 

“What do you mean?” He felt annoyed at himself and how much he wanted to tell Mark to get back to kissing his neck.

 

“Youngjae told me that's exactly what JB said when he told him about his own backstage hook-ups.”

 

“Y-youngjae!?  _ Our _ Youngjae? With who? Has Jaebum...?” For a moment Jinyoung forgot all about his own horniness.

 

“I'm not sure with who, he wouldn't tell me. But I'm pretty sure he had sex with V at some point and I know for a fact he and JB did it at the recording studio right when they made up after their big fight.”

 

Jinyoung let all this new information sink in for a moment and didn't notice how close Mark had gotten again until he felt his warm breath on his face, “So, what do you say? Do you want to fuck me after our photo shoot?”

 

Damn Mark and his sexiness, Jinyoung thought to himself. Because  _ yes,  _ actually, he really did want to do that and he had to admit he didn't care as much about doing it in public as he thought he should. He decided to answer Mark by getting even closer and tracing his lips with his tongue before slipping it into Mark's slightly opened mouth. He quickly pulled back when he heard voices getting closer, but they shared a look that was filled with the promise of steamy sex later. 

 

If being horny with no-one knowing about it was frustrating, being horny with a boyfriend who knew that he was, and with the promise of sex later, was absolute torture. It didn't help Mark looked absolutely amazing during the whole photo shoot. Jinyoung tried his hardest not to look at him or stand next to him, but this photographer seemed hell-bent on making Jinyoung's life a living hell. So he was on a couch wedged in between Jackson and Mark, their bodies way closer than he needed them to be right now. “Okay, Jinyoung, just put your leg over Jackson's thigh, okay? Don't be afraid of a little skinship in this shoot. Mark, put your hand casually on Jinyoung's other leg. There you go, perfect, stay just like that.”

 

“Jinyoung are you feeling all right? You feel a bit warm.” Jackson whispered concerned when they got back up again. “Don't worry about him,” Mark answered before Jinyoung could, “I'll make sure to take good care of him later.” 

 

“Mark, for fuck's sake shut up.” Jinyoung hissed under his breath. Jackson just raised an eye brow and decided not to ask anymore questions. Jinyoung clearly wanted him to drop it and he was pretty sure they were going to do it. If he pointed it out now they might not do it and he would miss the opportunity to tease them about it later.

 

After the photo shoot, that felt like it took an eternity, Mark and Jinyoung quickly walked away from the others.

 

“We're going for a walk in the building. We'll see you guys at the room for the fan meet!”

 

“Be sure to be on time!” Jaebum shouted at them before they closed the door behind them.

 

They walked around for a bit looking for a good place. Jinyoung could hardly believe he had agreed to having sex in a building filled with people. He felt like a high schooler about to break some school rules (and Jinyoung didn't break school rules) when Mark grabbed his wrist and pulled him into another supply closet on a floor that seemed to be as good as deserted. His feelings of uneasiness were soon forgotten, however, when Mark pressed him against the door and covered his lips with his own. It didn't take long for their kisses to become hot and needy. Mark let out a surprised giggle when Jinyoung decided to switch them around and push Mark against the wall instead, “I thought  _ I  _ was going to press  _ you _ against a wall and fuck you senseless” he whispered in Mark's ear before attacking his neck.

 

“Be my guest,” Mark half-whispered half-moaned back. He hadn't even finished his sentence and Jinyoung's hands were on his belt and his tongue was in his mouth. Jinyoung made quick work of getting both of them out of their pants and fully hard. He worked Mark open while their tongues were engaged in a wet and sloppy make-out session. Being the organized and well-prepared man that he was, Jinyoung always had a condom with him (more in the case that they ever went on an impromptu date or something, not in the case of closet sex) and when he felt Mark was ready he put it on. He gave his boyfriend one more passionate kiss before he turned him around against the wall.

 

It wasn't the most comfortable position, but honestly Mark couldn't care less when Jinyoung started pushing inside and fucking him with an increasing intensity. It felt amazing. His moans became louder, almost forgetting they really needed to keep it down just in case someone would walk by. He was reminded when Jinyoung brought one hand to his mouth. He had only intended to cover Mark's mouth gently to muffle his moans, but Mark had other plans and sucked a few of his fingers into his mouth. Now Mark was quiet, but it was Jinyoung who unintentionally groaned at the sensation. He never really knew that someone sucking on your fingers could feel this amazing. He intensified his thrusts. He knew he wouldn't last long like this and he could already feel his orgasm coming closer at a rapid pace. “M-mark. Don't come like this okay? You can finish in my mouth, d-don't want to leave a mess.” Mark hummed in agreement around Jinyoung's fingers that were still in his mouth. Jinyoung pulled them out and placed both hands on Mark's hips. He pulled him closer in sync with his thrusts, the sounds of their bodies clashing resonating within the silent closet, together with the moans they both tried to suppress. Jinyoung came with a low grunt, fully pressing into Mark who was panting against the wall. He pulled out and pulled the condom of, tying it with slightly shaky hands, before he got down to the floor. Mark turned around to face him and slowly pushed his cock inside Jinyoung's already open mouth, his lips wrapping around it beautifully. Jinyoung allowed Mark to do most of the moving, he didn't mind the hand in his hair, guiding the motions. It didn't take much for Mark to come undone on Jinyoung's tongue and he sank down to the ground next to him. Jinyoung was the first to get up. He pulled his pants back up and offered Mark a hand to get him back on his feet. He was in the middle of getting dressed when Jinyoung's loud shriek almost gave him a heart attack.

 

“W-what's wrong?” he turned to see a horrified Jinyoung staring at his phone in panic.

 

“We're late! Shit, we're late! I have like a million messages from Jaebum asking us where we are.” 

 

Mark took the phone from Jinyoung's hands and stroked his cheek, “shh, it's okay. Just take a moment to enjoy the reason why we're late.”

 

“Mark! We have to  _ go _ .  _ NOW _ .”

 

Mark shrugged, “I know, I know, but we're already late anyway. No need to freak out. Take a deep breath.”

 

Jinyoung did just that and felt calmer. They hurried to the room with the fan meet, apologizing to everyone there for being late. The fans just seemed to be happy they were there (some seemed delighted by the fact they came in holding hands, something they hadn't even realized they were doing), Jackson and Youngjae smirked at them knowingly, but JB looked downright pissed. He pulled them aside for a second, “I told you to not be late!” he hissed at them, “next time that you can't control yourselves and go and have sex in a public place at least do it quickly so you're not late!”

 

“W-what? We didn't-” Jinyoung started, but was immediately cut off by Jaebum, “Don't even, Jinyoung.” He didn't say anything else and just walked back to face the fans and was all smiles when Youngjae started singing.

 

“Dammit, how did he know!” Jinyoung whispered to Mark. Mark shrugged, “Maybe it was just a lucky guess? Or maybe because your hair is a mess and you put on your shirt inside out.” Mark laughed and walked out on stage, leaving his boyfriend to frantically look for a private spot to change his shirt, hoping that the fans hadn't noticed.

 

<>

 

“How was your 'walk' with Jinyoung today?” Youngjae asked later that night. It was rare for both of them to sleep in their room at the same time these days, one of the two almost always sleeping with one of their respective boyfriends. It was nice to be able to chill with their phones and laptops and just talk a bit.

 

Mark smirked, “Let's just say I won't feel like walking tomorrow because I'll be sore from the walking we did today.”

 

Youngjae laughed. “You know, I didn't really think Jinyoung was the type.”

 

“For what?”

 

“To do it in a public bathroom or closet or wherever you guys did it.”

 

“Believe me I wasn't expecting it! I thought he was mad at me or something, but when I confronted him he told me he was just horny. I was the one to suggest it, but it didn't take a lot of convincing.”

 

“Well, I'm glad you two are so happy, but...” Youngjae hesitated.

 

“But what?” 

 

“You haven't told Jinyoung about that ex of yours, have you?”

 

“He's not really my ex. And I just forgot that's all.” Mark said shrugging his shoulders casually, but after a moment of silence he added: “And I'm a little worried he'll turn it into something bigger than it is and I don't want him to worry over something that's nothing.”

 

“You know...you not telling him about it is turning it into something to worry about. If you tell him it'll just be you talking to an old friend. If you keep this a secret it'll be you secretly talking to a guy that you used to sleep with or whatever you did with him. Please just tell Jinyoung. It'll blow up in your face if you don't.”

 

Mark bit his bottom lip, thinking. Youngjae was right. He knew he was right. He thought back to earlier when he thought Jinyoung was mad at him for something. For a moment he had thought Jinyoung had looked at his phone or something and had gotten the wrong idea.

 

The next day they were about to go to sleep in Jinyoung's bed when Mark decided now was as good a time as any to bring it up. “Jinyoung? Do you want to go out tomorrow night?” he asked, looking at his boyfriend who was reading a book.

 

“Sure, did you have anything in mind?” Jinyoung asked, not looking up from his book.

 

“Actually...an old friend of mine owns a bar. I haven't seen him for a while, but we got back in contact recently and he asked if I wanted to see his bar so I thought it might be fun.”

 

“All right, sure. Do I know this  _ old friend _ ?”

 

The way Jinyoung emphasized 'old friend' told Mark Jinyoung was already suspecting this wasn't just a friend. “I don't think you've ever met him. His name is David and I knew him before we debuted. And, ehm...we were kind of more than just friends.”

 

“Oh.” Jinyoung put his book down.

 

“He wasn't like my boyfriend or anything, we just...”

 

“Had sex?”

 

“Yeah...”

 

“Well, I can't exactly be mad at you for having sex with anyone before me. I mean...I knew you had...”

 

“It was never anything romantic, I promise! We're just friends now, sort of. Maybe more like...acquaintances 

Jinyoung smiled at him gently. “Thank you for telling me about him and not hiding that you have contact with this guy and that you're still friends. I'll go with you to his bar, but don't blame me if I'm extra clingy.”

  
Mark smiled back and placed a soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips. “Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, that wasn't so bad Mark! Next time they'll go to the bar to meet this 'David' (who I just made up...why is his name David anyway? I mean...they're in Korea)
> 
> Who enjoyed the Markjin smut (and the irony of gay sex in a closet)


	28. NOT AN UPDATE

Hey guys, so sorry it's been so long and I'm sorry this isn't an update.  
I've been really busy and have writers block, but I wanted to let you know I'm not dropping this story!

I also wanted to say that I hope everyone is okay and please stay healthy! Yes, this is in light of SHINee's Jonghyun's death. I'm so upset and feel terrible. I love SHINee so much and this is a huge shock. Jonghyun has spoken about his struggles with depression and his mental health and I feel so sad thinking about how he suffered. My heart goes out to his family, friends, the other 4 members of SHINee, and all Shawols over the world!

Please reach out for help if you're are suffering. Please send love and support to your idols and be kind to all idols and fans.


	29. Hungry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum and Youngjae find themselves all alone in the dorm. Whatever will they do (it's not knitting scarfs, I can tell you that).  
> Mark and Jinyoung pay a visit to the bar owned by David, Mark's sort-of-ex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow...so...it's been a while. I've been struggling with writing and it took a lot to get this chapter out (and it's a mess, lol). But, let's get this fic going again!! A quick recap if you've forgotten what's going on:  
> -JB isn't talking with his parents because his father doesn't want a gay son and his mother wants him to pretend he's straight  
> -Mark en Jinyoung are going to a bar owned by Mark's ex, David (who's not really and ex, they just slept together. Whatever you want to call it Makr)

“Hey”

 

JB looked up from his phone to find Youngjae standing in his doorway, one shoulder leaning against it.

 

“Hey” he replied as he scooted over to the edge of his bed.

 

“Soooo...we're all alone in the house right now.” Youngjae continued, a slight smirk forming on his face.

 

“We are? I know Mark and Jinyoung were going out, but where are the others?”

 

“Well, Yugyeom was going bowling with Jungkook, and BamBam insisted on going with him. He told me he thinks there's something going on between them that, in BamBam's words, 'involves balls that aren't for bowling' and he's going to observe them or whatever. And Jackson is hanging out with...I forgot...he's friends with so many people.”

 

JB got up from his bed and walked over to his boyfriend. He placed his hands on Youngjae's hips and pulled him a little bit closer. Youngjae snaked his arms around JB's neck in response. “So...” JB said as his eyes darted over Youngjae's lips, “we're all alone? Whatever will we do with such an empty, quiet, apartment?” He leaned in, ghosting his lips over Youngjae's.

 

“Well, I was thinking we could fuck.”

 

JB pulled back and sighed, “Dammit Youngjae, so was I but I wasn't going to be so crude about it.” he said with a laugh in his voice.

 

Youngjae chuckled, “What were you going to say then? _Let's fill up the apartment with sounds of our burning passion that equals a thousand blooming flowers_?”

 

“That doesn't even make any sense! And when have I ever said anything like that?” He got closer again, slowly moving them until Youngjae's back was against the wall, “No, I wasn't going to say anything.” He leaned in, lips almost touching “I was just going to do this.” He closed the gap between them and kissed Youngjae's lips slowly. The kiss was firm yet gentle. JB slowly pried Youngjae's lips open with his own and slipped his tongue inside where it lazily tangled with Youngjae's. When he pulled back he left Youngjae breathless. He ghosted his mouth over Youngjae's right ear while placing his hands firmly on his hips, “and this” he whispered. He moved his lips to Youngjae's neck and while JB was sucking on his neck Youngjae couldn't help but sucking in a much needed breath of air. Without saying a word JB started to lift up Youngjae's shirt and pulled it over his head, throwing it to the side, quickly following it with his own shirt.

 

JB took a moment to stare at his boyfriend, biting his lower lip. Youngjae, however, decided this wasn't a time for looking but for action and he pulled JB against him, locking lips and mixing their body heat. JB stroked Youngjae's hipbone with his thumb before he loosened his pants and slipped a hand inside. Youngjae did the same. It wasn't long before they lost the remainder of their clothes.

 

Their sensual naked-against-a-wall make-out session came to a sudden halt when JB pulled away, placed both hands on the sides of Youngjae's face and looked straight at him. “I'm hungry, let's go to the kitchen.” He smacked a kiss on Youngjae's lips, took him by the hand and started pulling him towards the kitchen.

 

“A-are you serious? Now!?” Youngjae asked without getting a reply. So he just let himself be escorted to the kitchen. Once there JB let go of his hand and walked over to the fridge. Youngjae had half-expected JB just wanted to have sex on the kitchen-counter or something, but he was seriously roaming around in the fridge instead of roaming his hands all over his naked body.

 

Youngjae crossed his arms, “Are you seriously going to eat _right now_?” he asked.

 

Jaebum closed the fridge with his foot as he turned around, “Don't pout baby. You're going to be my plate.”

 

“Excuse me?” Youngjae raised an eyebrow.

 

“I suddenly had a huge craving for something sweet….and then I imagined you covered in chocolate and strawberry sauce and remembered we actually have that and...fuck...if I was hungry before now I'm starving.”

 

Youngjae wasn't really sold on the idea, but seeing the lustful look on JB's face made him drop his arms to the side and sigh. He leaned back against the cold kitchen-counter. “Whatever makes you happy, you weirdo.”

 

JB smirked and opened the chocolate sauce he had gotten from the fridge and poured some of it around Youngjae's collarbones, allowing it to run down his bare chest. JB leaned down to lick some up, he hummed in approval, “This is the best idea I've ever had.”

 

Youngjae scoffed, “I don't know about that. It's cold and sticky.”

 

A playful grin appeared on JB's face, “Sticky? Yes. Cold? No. It's super fucking hot.”

 

He added a royal amount of strawberry sauce to Youngjae's chest and started licking his way down. He got down on his knees, kissing Youngjae's thighs, earning him a moan. It was the one sound that could come out of Youngjae's mouth that he liked even more than his singing or his laugh. He licked at the tip of his cock. He licked down the base, back up, all around the head. He opened his mouth wider and slid his lips down over Youngjae's length. Youngjae held on to the counter with a strong grip and his eyes closed. His chest was cold from the wetness that JB created, but he didn't even notice anymore. The mouth around his cock felt too good to notice anything else. The blissful feeling didn't last all that long though. JB was making his way back up again. He hungrily kissed Youngjae's mouth, smearing his face with a combination of chocolate, strawberry, and saliva. “Turn around,” he whispered in his ear, “I want to fuck you.”

 

“And I'm going to let you, right after I get some lube from my bedroom because there is no way I'm letting you use that stuff as lube.” He placed a quick kiss on JB's lips before he left him alone in the kitchen. JB scowled and licked his sauce covered fingers waiting for Youngjae to return.

 

Youngjae swiftly returned with two condoms and lube. He chuckled looking at JB sucking on this own fingers while his face was a mess of sauce. He proceeded to open up the condoms and putting one on each of them, “I'm not cleaning cum from the kitchen-counter.” Youngjae explained when Jaebum gave him a confused look when he was putting on his own condom.

 

JB got closer to him,“Doesn't really matter, it's going to get dirty with all the sauce that's covering your chest and stomach anyway.” He nuzzled his boyfriend's neck, ghosting the skin with his lips, “done?”

 

The moment Youngjae nodded yes he was turned around by Jaebum's strong hands and bent over on the kitchen-counter. JB leaned over him and kissed his neck, “You're way too clean on this side. And I'm still hungry.” He reached over to grab the bottles of chocolate and strawberry sauces. Youngjae shuddered when he felt the cold liquid running down his lower back and butt cheeks.

 

“Don't worry I'll also use actual lube, but...damn this is hot, I just wanna...” JB didn't finish his sentence, but it became clear what he wanted to do when Youngjae felt a pain in his left butt cheek and he let out a small yelp of surprise.

 

“Did you just bite me!?”

 

“Yeah, sorry I just couldn't resist.”

 

“Do it again.”

 

JB didn't need to be told twice and again he sank his teeth in the plump flesh of his boyfriend's behind. He alternated small bites, some light some a bit harder, with licks from his wet tongue as he worked his way up until he reached Youngjae's shoulder. He showered his soft skin with soft kissed while he reached to the side for the lube. Youngjae moaned when JB started to work him open. He continued to slip his fingers in and out of Youngjae while he used his other hand to turn Youngjae's head so he could devour his lips.

 

When JB replaced his fingers with his cock Youngjae let out a long breath of pleasure as he pushed deep inside of him. “Have I ever told you how good it feels when you do that?”

 

“Do what exactly?” JB asked with a low grunt as he thrust harder.

 

“Put your penis inside of me.”

 

“You're so classy sunshine.”

 

“Getting fucked on a kitchen-counter with sauce all over my body isn't very classy anyway, so shut up and just fuck me harder.”

 

JB chuckled before he stood up straighter so he could get a better hold on Youngjae's hips, pulling him closer along with the fast-paced rhythm of his thrusts. He looked down to Youngjae's ass, covered in sauce and bouncing against his own bare skin. It was sticky, it was dirty, it was hot and hard. He wouldn't last long. When he started to fuck him even harder he saw how Youngjae slipped his hand down to his own cock. Jaebum came first. He sank his head down on Youngjae's shoulder and felt the movements of him stroking himself as quietly regained his breath. Youngjae moaned one last time and the movements stopped. Jaebum forced himself to detach himself and pull out. The kitchen was a mess, but they themselves were an even bigger mess. Youngjae took Jaebum's hand and they walked over to the bathroom where they got into the shower. JB made sure to clean all the placed that were hard for Youngjae to reach himself. He slipped out of the shower and when Youngjae walked into the kitchen, wrapped in a bathrobe with his hair still damp, JB was cleaning.

 

“You didn't have to clean it all by yourself, you know” Youngjae whispered as he back hugged him.

 

“I know.” JB turned around in Youngjae's arms and gave him a soft kiss.

 

“By the way, remind me to get you flavored lube”

 

“That's a thing?”

 

Youngjae laughed. “Sometimes I think I've corrupted your innocence.”

 

“You have.” He placed a kiss on the top of his boyfriend head, “And I love you for it.”

 

“Jaebum?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“I've been thinking...If you want to tell your parents, or at least your dad, that we're not together anymore...I'd be okay with that.” Youngjae looked down as he spoke. He knew his parents wasn't a subject JB liked to talk about, but Youngjae had been thinking about this for a while.

 

“What? Youngjae, no, I don't want that!” JB immediately found Youngjae's hands and gave them a squeeze, “Why would you even say that.”

 

Youngjae looked up to look his boyfriend in the eye. “It's okay! I mean...it sucks, but I'd understand! I don't want to be the reason you don't talk to your father anymore...” Youngjae explained with a weak smile and a light shrug of his shoulders.

 

JB softly stroked Youngjae's cheek with the tips of his fingers.“You are not the reason I don't talk to him. He is the reason. The reason is that he doesn't accept me for who I am. I wouldn't just have to tell him that we're not together, I'd have to pretend to not be gay. I can deal with it in front of camera's and stuff, but my own parents? No.”

 

“Are you sure? ”

 

“Look, I've thought about this a lot too, but there is just no way. Okay?”

 

Youngjae placed his head against JB's chest, “Okay.” He'd talk about that other thing he needed to discuss later.

 

<>

 

Mark and Jinyoung arrived at the bar owned by Mark's old friend. Jinyoung had tried his hardest to look good without looking like he was trying to look good. The type of look that seems natural and effortless but actually takes about three hours to put together. Mark was the type of person to actually look like that and without all the hours of prep. Jinyoung both loved and hated him for that. The moment they walked through the door they were greeted by a young man that Jinyoung assumed was David. The handsome man pulled Mark into a quick hug and laughed enthusiastically.

 

“Wow, damn Mark. Time sure has done you good, man!”

 

Mark laughed and shook his head, “It hasn't been _that_ long since we last saw each other, David.”

 

“Well, it feels like _too_ long. It's great seeing you again. You and...” he shifted his attention to Jinyoung (who hoped he was successful at pretending like he hadn't been glaring in his direction). He held out his hand for Jinyoung, “You must be Jinyoung. I mean, I know you are since I've seen you guys on TV, but Mark was being so vague about his love life that I wasn't sure if he was talking about you or some other dude.”

 

Jinyoung took the other man's hand and gave it a courteous shake, “I'm sure he was just being careful, since we're celebrities and all.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. I get that. I mean, you can't really go around announcing you like dick I guess. Not to worry though, my bar is a safe space. Anyway,” he said as he placed one arm around Mark's shoulder, “let's get you boys a drink. On the house of course.”

 

As the evening grew shorter Mark and David engaged in more and more topics that Jinyoung didn't have any interest in. Movies he hadn't seen, games he hadn't played, memories of funny things that happened that he hadn't been a part of. Every once in a while Mark would place a hand on Jinyoung's thigh or hold his hand. Jinyoung appreciated that Mark was trying to make sure he still knew he was there, but Jinyoung felt like a third wheel. And that David guy sure wasn't helping. Half of the things that came out of this mouth started with 'oh my god, do you remember that time when...'. He was zoning out a discussion about some Youtuber-gamer-dude when he decided to go to the bathroom. He excused himself and walked away from their little table. He almost bumped into someone on his way. The stranger smiled at him and Jinyoung gave him an apologetic nod.

 

David took Jinyoung's absence as an opportunity to switch their conversation to the topic of their relationship. “So, you got a nice looking boyfriend there, Mark.”

 

Mark immediately felt shy and slightly uncomfortable talking about Jinyoung with a guy he used to fuck. “eh, yeah. Yeah, he's great.”

 

“So, he's really your _boyfriend_. Not just a casual thing like we were?”

 

“He is.” Mark nodded, taking a gulp from his drink. He wasn't sure he was liking the tone of this conversation anymore.

 

“Is it serious? Because if it's not I was thinking that you and I could have some fun. For old times sake.”

 

Mark scoffed, “Are you hitting on me? I'm here with my boyfriend, David, come on.”

 

“Speaking of which, isn't your _boyfriend_ taking a long time in the bathroom?”

 

“I don't know, I guess.”

 

“You know, it's kinda easy to get lost back there. There's a door that leads to an outside storage and once that door falls shut it can get stuck a bit sometimes.”

 

“I'm sure he's smart enough not to lock himself out.” He looked in the direction the bathroom was in hoping Jinyoung would appear, but he didn't. Mark sighed, “But I need to pee anyway, so I might as well check.”

 

“Yeah, you do that. I'll be here.”

 

When Mark pushed open the door to the bathroom he found Jinyoung. He wasn't alone. Jinyoung was wide-eyed and pressed against the wall. Mark was just in time for the other guy to pull his lips off of Jinyoung's with a loud smacking sound.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first: don't worry, it isn't what it looks like!   
> Second: what's up, are people still reading or did my hiatus cause people to leave T__T I'm sorry it took forever. Stuff happened.  
> Third: I have plans for a new fic. A fantasy/supernatural one starring GOT7, Seventeen, VIXX, BTS, and more. Think vampires, werewolves, potions, dragons, what have you. I haven't figured everything out yet, but JB is a cat demon, lol. Also Scoups is a descendant of cupid (he ships everything), everybody has a crush on Jeonghan and Mingyu has a crush on everyone. What is the relationship between Sandeul, Ken, and Jin, and why can't Jin accept Namjoon's love!? Dammit Jin.
> 
> anyway...drop me a comment <3


	30. He's an ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Mark walking in on Jinyoung getting kissed by some guy in the bathroom of the bar owned by Mark's former not-boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, it didn't take 3 months to update! :o
> 
> I had no idea what to name this chapter, lol

“What the hell are you doing?”

 

“M-mark! I didn't, I...he just!”

 

Mark raised his hand, gesturing Jinyoung to be quiet. “I know you didn't. I was talking to him!” he pointed a finger to the guy who was still standing close to his boyfriend with a smug look on his face, “What the hell do you think you're doing!?”

 

The guy held up his hands in defense, “Wow, relax dude. I wasn't expecting anyone to walk in, but in case you hadn't noticed already this bar is not a place for homophobia.”

 

“Homophobia? I'm not homophobic, I'm random-men-kissing-my-man-phobic!” If Mark hadn't been so upset he would have laughed at his own lame come back, but right now he grabbed the guy's collar instead, bringing their faces dangerously close together. Before he could do anything else the door opened behind them.

 

“What's going on in here? Can you guys keep it down, aggressive yelling coming from the bathroom isn't great for my bar's rep, you know.”

 

“How about your customers assaulting people in the bathroom, how is that for your bar's _rep_?” Mark spat with venom in his voice, still with a tight grip on the shirt.

 

“Hey!” the guy spoke up and he pushed Mark off of him, “I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, but I didn't assault anyone! As far as I know I was flirting with a hot man who was totally sending me signals and I kissed him. It's not like I knew he had a boyfriend.”

 

“Look, why don't you just get out of here. Let me handle this.” David spoke calmly. Mark clicked his tongue in annoyance. Why was David talking as if Mark was the one who needed to be handled, he wasn't the problem here.

 

“Care to tell me what happened?” David asked in the same calm voice.

 

“I come in here looking for Jinyoung and I find this guy kissing him!” The guy mentioned exchanged a quick look with David before he slipped out of the bathroom. Mark turned his attention away from him and towards Jinyoung. He was pale and shaking slightly. ”Jinyoungie, are you okay? What happened?”

 

“Mark, I-I don't even know what happened! I bumped into him when I was going to the bathroom and he started talking to me. I said like...2 sentences to him, I swear! He followed me to the bathroom and the next thing I know he pushed me against the wall and started kissing me right before you walked in!”

 

Mark lovingly stroked Jinyoung's air out of his eyes, “shh, it's okay now. Let's go home?” Jinyoung nodded in agreement. Mark turned to David, “Look, David. It was nice talking to you tonight, but I think we have to go now.”

 

“Really? The night's still young? I'll get Jinyoung a strong drink to forget about what just happened and we c-”

 

“I don't think so. I get it wasn't your fault what happened, but I just want to take Jinyoung home now.” Mark grabbed Jinyoung's hand and they walked outside. Before they reached the car Mark was held back by a hand around his wrist. He pulled his hand out of David's grip and sighed, “Jinyoung, can you get in the car? I'll just say goodbye to David real quick.” Jinyoung looked between them for a moment, but nodded and got in the car. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he didn't like it.

 

“Come on, don't go yet. We were having so much fun. If Jinyoung wants to go home so badly can't he just go by himself? He's not a child.”

 

Mark scoffed, “You don't really get the concept of having someone you care about, do you?”

 

“I just think you guys are overreacting a bit. He was only kissing the guy.”

 

“Excuse me? Do you think I'm upset because I think Jinyoung kissed someone else? He didn't kiss him, that other guy forced himself on him!”

 

“How convenient.”

 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Mark felt his anger level rising to the point where he might do something stupid.

 

“Look, it's not that uncommon to find two guys making out in the bathroom in this place and I've never had anyone in here who wasn't into it.”

 

“Just stop talking David. I don't appreciate the way you're talking about Jinyoung.”

 

But he did not stop talking, “It's not like kissing is such a big deal, not like he was fucking him or anything.”

 

“What is your point exactly?”

 

“My point is that I think maybe the guy just misread some signals. It was just a misunderstanding. Come on, we were having a good time before, right? It really brought back a lot of memories of...us. Remember us, Mark?” Suddenly David was sending out a very different vibe from moments before. He was looking at Mark with eyes Mark knew all too well. Not eyes Mark wanted to see right now.

 

“I had been hoping you weren't so serious with this whole boyfriend thing, Mark. I really wanted to find out if you'd learned some new moves in the years that we haven't seen each other. I have. I'd love to show you.”

 

“I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I am 100% not interested in sleeping with you. I think it's better if we don't have anymore contact after this.”

 

“Maybe you'll find yourself a bit more interested if you consider what happened here tonight and what could happen if certain people find out about it.”

 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“I'm just saying it might be real bad for you guys if word of this gets to any gossip magazines. I don't think that guy knew who you were, but I do. Not just what happened tonight, but the fact that you two are in a relationship. But I might forget about it if you relive some of the good times we used to have together.”

 

“What exactly are you getting at?” Mark took a step back as David was getting closer.

 

“If you're worried about Jinyoung, just don't tell him. Or better yet, bring him along. He's kinda hot, I wouldn't mind tapping that sweet a-”

 

Mark cursed. He didn't think punching David in the face would hurt his hand so much. He immediately turned around and walked towards the car and got in the driver's seat.

 

“You're making a mistake, Mark!” was the last thing he heard before he started the car and drove away.

 

“Mark, what happened? Why did you punch him? Are you insane?”

 

“He's an ass.”

 

“I believe that, but you can't just punch someone! What if someone saw it was you? We don't need a scandal!”

 

“Like you kissing a man in a bathroom of a bar?”

 

“Mark...”

 

“No, I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. It's just that David...he...he basically said that he would go to the press about this, about us, unless...”

 

“Unless what? Come on, you just punched the guy, tell me what happened!”

 

“He wanted me to _relive good times_ with him. He wanted me to sleep with him.”

 

“What!? He actually said that?” Mark nodded. Jinyoung sank back into his seat and sighed, “Even so...you shouldn't have punched him.”

 

“I know, but when he said he wanted to have sex with your sweet ass too I just lost it, okay! I'm sorry, but he had it coming.”

 

Jinyoung was quiet for a bit while they were driving through the night. Mark punched David because of what he had said about him. He definitely did not condone this kind of behavior, but he felt both guilty and proud that Mark had punched him. Guilty because he did it for _his_ sake, but proud because he had a boyfriend willing to punch a guy for him. Not that he felt that going around punching people was a good idea. Far from it.

 

“I understand why you punched him, but dammit Mark. Now he really has something to go to the gossip magazines with...the police even.” Jinyoung finally spoke up. He tried his best to now sound like he was totally blaming him, because he really did understand, but he also understood that they could be in a lot of shit right now.

 

Shit. Mark hadn't really thought about that. Fuck. “Relax, he won't.” He wasn't convincing himself, but Mark hoped that Jinyoung would be. “I'm pretty sure it was all just talk. To be honest he was starting to make weird comments about our times together when you went to the bathroom. So maybe his plan for tonight was to get me to have sex with him or maybe he thought that I would want that, I don't know. Either way, I think he just said he would go to the press in a weird attempt to get me into bed. He's not really going to the press. I'm sure.” He wasn't sure.

 

When they got home they found Youngjae en Jaebum asleep on Youngjae's bed, so they decided to sleep in Jinyoung's room tonight. Mark held Jinyoung close. He wanted to make him feel safe. He ended up being the first one to fall asleep and once Jinyoung had concluded that Mark was fast asleep he slowly and quietly wiggled free from Mark's arms and got up. He couldn't sleep. His head was racing.He walked into the living room to find Jackson having a cup of tea.

 

“What are you doing up?” Jackson asked.

 

“Not much.” Jinyoung replied as he sat down at the table across from Jackson. “What about you? Did you just get home?”

 

“Yeah. Man, I'm exhausted. Do you want some tea too? It's organic.”

 

“No, thanks.” Jinyoung smiled politely, but Jackson kept looking at him. He could tell something was wrong with his friend. “Are you okay? Actually, scratch that question. You're not okay. Tell me.”

 

Jinyoung hesitated for a moment, but this was Jackson, he could tell him anything. So he did. He told Jackson everything that had happened. From Mark getting back in contact with this David guy to how he punched him right before they took off.

 

“Well, fuck. I would have punched him too! Well, maybe not because I don't like violence, but I would have punched him mentally! Not to mention bathroom-guy...are you okay?”

 

Jinyoung shrugged his shoulders lightly. He wanted to tell Jackson that he was fine, but he wasn't really. He didn't care so much about the guy that had kissed him. Even if Mark hadn't shown up Jinyoung would have pushed him off. Even though he really didn't think he was sending this guy signals, he also didn't seem like he was ready to force himself on Jinyoung if he told him to stop. It was the whole David situation that was making Jinyoung feel uneasy and anxious.

 

“So, now what?” Jackson asked hesitantly after a few moments of silence, pulling Jinyoung from his thoughts.

 

“I...I was thinking about going to see him.”

 

“And do what?”

 

“Ask him not to go to the press...”

 

“And you think that would work? What if he makes you the same offer he made Mark? This guy sounds like a creep.”

 

“Maybe I should just agree to his offer then...”

 

Jackson jumped up from his seat and walked around the table so he was standing right next to Jinyoung. “Excuse me? What are you talking about? Are you insane?”

 

“If this guy goes to the press we can be in real big trouble, Jackson!”

 

“Does this guy want to out his own bar as basically being a gay bar though? I don't think he'd go to the press that easily.”

 

“What about the fact that Mark punched him? Leave out all the gay stuff and we'd still have a scandal on our hands. Even if we deny everything and nothing gets proven...once rumors like that are out there... This isn't just me and Mark we're talking about, this is about all of us. GOT7, JYP and if, what, 15 minutes can make it go away?”

 

Jackson knelt down so they were face to face, “Jinyoung. Please listen to me. First of all, there is absolutely zero guarantee that this dude would keep to his word and not go to the press after you give him what he wants. Second of all, no-one, not just Mark, NO-ONE from GOT7 would want you to do anything with that guy! Especially not for our sakes. Yugyeom would never stop crying.”

 

He knew Jackson was right, but Jinyoung felt so powerless. None of the members would want him to even consider sleeping with someone he didn't want to sleep with just to cover up a potential scandal. He knew that. But he wanted to do _something_. He wanted to fix this, but he didn't know how. He couldn't help the sob that escaped him. Almost instantly he felt Jackson's warmth wrap around him, his strong arms holding him in a tight hug. “I don't know what to do, Jackson.”

 

“Please just promise me that you won't go over to that guy. Even if you just want to talk to him don't go by yourself. Take Jaebum or a really tough looking guy like Shownu. Well...maybe not Shownu, but someone who's like...buff. I'd volunteer but I have work. Also, I'm probably too short to be really intimidating.”

 

Jinyoung sniffed and the tiniest of smiles found his face, “Speaking of work, shouldn't you go to sleep? It's pretty late.”

 

Jackson loosened his grip and looked at Jinyoung, concern written on his face. “Will you be okay?”

 

“Yeah, I'll be all right.” He placed one hand on Jackson's arm and gave it a light squeeze, “thank you.”

 

“Wang gae”

 

“Park gae”

 

<>

 

Yes, Jinyoung knew Jackson was right. He still knew Jackson was right when he parked his car in front of David's bar. It was closed now. Jinyoung had paid enough attention to all the conversations Mark and David were having to have heard that he lived above his bar. The light was still on. He was only going to talk to him. It was better to do it now. No police had shown up at their dorm or anything so he probably hadn't contacted the police at least, but he might be planning to do so or go to the press first thing in the morning. Yes, Jinyoung told himself, he was just going to talk to him. This wasn't the worst idea. It took him about fifteen more minutes to convince himself to get out of the car. He walked up the stairs that led up to the second floor where David lived. He knocked.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: It is, in fact, NOT a good idea JINYOUNG D:
> 
> Also, just wanted to let you guys know that I'm on twitter now (well, I was always on twitter, I just made a new account now for Kpop/fic/random shizzle. So come and talk to me!! Find me @Cow_Llama (Llamacow was taken >.>) Also find me on instagram _llamacow_ (with the '_'). I make random fanart...I haven't actually updated in like forever, BUT I'm working on some stuff right now (completely different stuff from what I have on there now tbh, but Kpop!) So anyway, come and join the LlamaCow herd on twitter and instagram~


	31. Trying to fix it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung went over to David's house to try and talk to him. Wasn't the best idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER warning: there is some mention of sexual assault in this one! So please don't read if that triggers you at all.

Jinyoung could hear shuffling from inside. His heart was pounding in his chest. What was he doing here. The door unlocked and David opened the door. He leaned his shoulder against the door opening and scoffed, “What are you doing here? Do you want to punch me too?”

 

Jinyoung could see a bruise on his jaw where Mark had punched him. “I...I thought we could talk.”

 

David took a step to the side and gestured for Jinyoung to come inside. Jinyoung hesitated. David sighed, “If you want to talk, let's talk, but it's cold and the middle of the night so I suggest you come in.”

 

Jinyoung went inside, but he didn't sit down when David told him he could. David shrugged his shoulders and sat down on a chair. There was a loaded silence for a few moments. David had his gaze fixed on Jinyoung, waiting for him to start talking. “You didn't go to the police?”

 

“Not yet.”

 

“Do you plan to?”

 

“I haven't really decided yet. A gossip magazine might get me some money.”

 

“What exactly would you tell a gossip magazine? You have no proof. I'm pretty sure no-one saw Mark punching you.”

 

A disgusting grin appeared on David's face, “No, but I have a very good witness for what happened in the bathroom. _GOT7's Park Jinyoung caught sexually assaulting another man._ Not exactly a headline you want to see I bet.”

 

“That's a lie! _He_ kissed _me_!”

 

“You know that. I know that. And I'm sure there are people who would be willing to believe you. But do you want that kind of information out there to begin with? Not to mention our chat logs where Mark tells me all about you.”

 

Jinyoung didn't answer. What was he supposed to say? Obviously he didn't want that.

 

“Look, it was never my plan to get dirt on you guys. I invited you, well actually Mark but he insisted on bringing you, to hang out and have fun. I didn't _really_ want to go to the police or some sleazy paparazzi.”

 

“What _do_ you want?”

 

“Mark.”

 

“Well that's one thing you can't have.”

 

David didn't respond right away. He nodded and looked like he was mulling over something. “You know, it took Mark a while to even mention to me that he had a boyfriend. I took it as a sign that maybe this relationship of yours wasn't all that serious.”

 

“It's very serious.” Jinyoung felt silly for defending his relationship with Mark to this guy, but he disliked everything that came out of his mouth.

 

“I thought I could cause a crack or two by making Mark remember all the good times we had. And by making his boyfriend make out with another man.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah, that guy that kissed you is a friend of mine. I asked him if he could hit on you. I never told him to kiss you against your will though. So I guess you were sending him signals after all.”

 

“I was _not_ sending anyone any signals. You're disgusting.”

 

“Well, it backfired anyway. I saw my chances with Mark slipping away when you guys were leaving so I just blurted out that I would expose you guys for being gay unless he would sleep with me. I even offered him a threesome with you. And then he punched me.”

 

“So you weren't going to go to any magazine or the police?”

 

“I wasn't going to, no. But that punch really hurt and it kinda pissed me off. Now I sort of want to see you guys squirm in front of the cameras and your fans. Coming up with some weak-ass lie about what happened tonight. About the true nature of your relationship.”

 

Jinyoung felt the weight of David's stare. What was he supposed to do now? This guy had an eye-witness that was probably willing to lie for him, a bruise on his face that would look nice and dramatic on a magazine cover, chat logs. He could offer him money, but that didn't really seem to be what he was after. “What if you get part of that offer you proposed to Mark?” His voice was small, but he could tell by the smirk that appeared on his face that David had heard him.

 

“What are you willing to offer, Jinyoung?”

 

“Sleep with me. I know it's Mark you wanted, but we both know that that's not going to happen. So sleep with me. Right here and now and let that be the end of this whole mess.” David got up and slowly walked towards him. Jinyoung tried not to flinch when David softly stroked his cheek with his fingers. He leaned in closer. Jinyoung could feel his warm breath on his neck. “ _If that's what you want._ ” Jinyoung tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry. He pushed Jackson's voice, screaming at him inside his head, to the back of his mind. He felt David's lips kissing his neck. There was a knot in his stomach. This time David kissed his lips. He ran his tongue over them. Jinyoung let out a tiny gasp when one of David's hands made its way under his shirt. His fingers were cold. David used the opportunity to slip his tongue inside. Jinyoung was frozen.

 

No, he didn't want this.

 

<>

 

When Mark woke up he didn't find Jinyoung next to him. He looked over to the alarm clock on the bedside table. 5:30 am. Maybe he was in the bathroom. Mark got up with a groan. It was cold. He quietly walked over to the bathroom. The door was open and Jinyoung wasn't inside. Mark checked the kitchen. No Jinyoung. He quickly walked back to the bedroom to get his phone. No messages, no missed calls. He pulled up Jinyoung's contact information and pressed the call button. Getting more anxious with every second that Jinyoung didn't pick up Mark paced around the room. Voicemail. Dammit. He dialed again. He moved his pacing to the living room. He was about to call a third time when Jackson walked in. “I didn't really expect anyone to be up yet. I'm about to head out to catch my plane. What's your excuse?”

 

“He's not picking up his phone.”

 

“Who? Jinyoung? Where is he?”

 

“I don't fucking know, that's why I'm calling him.”

 

“Oh shit...”

 

“What?” Mark turned to look at Jackson. He didn't like the worried look on his face. “Jackson, what? Do you know something?”

 

“I-I don't know, maybe. Last night I was talking to him right before going to bed and he told me what happen with you and that David dude or whatever and...” Jackson hesitated.

 

“And what? Dammit Jackson, tell me!”

 

“He said something about taking that creep's offer about sleeping with him in exchange for his silence.”

 

All the blood drained from Mark's face. What did Jackson just say.

 

“He said he wouldn't! I told him that it was the worst idea ever and that no-one would want him to do that! He agreed with me! At least I think he did...shit you don't think he really went over to him, right?” He took out his own phone and tried calling him. No answer. Mark stormed towards the door, grabbed his jacket and opened the door. Jackson followed.

 

“I-I'm sure he's fine! He's smart!” Jackson said on their way to the elevator in an attempt to calm Mark down. He wished he believed his own words at that moment.

Mark kept pressing the elevator button. Had the elevator always been this slow? The reception inside the elevator sucked and it felt like it was powered by snails. As soon as they were out on the ground floor Mark tried calling again. Mark stopped in his tracks when he heard a familiar ringtone. He walked outside towards the sound and found Jinyoung leaning against the wall of the building. His phone in his hand. He didn't seem to notice Jackson and Mark until Mark touched his arm and said his name.

 

“Jinyoung? Are you okay? Why are you out here? It's cold, let's go back inside.” Mark's voice was gentle and soft. Jinyoung nodded. He hadn't noticed how cold he was until Jackson threw a warm arm around him and pulled him close. Once inside, Mark sat Jinyoung down on the couch. Jinyoung vaguely heard him talking to Jackson, telling him to go catch his plane.

 

“Are you sure? I can take another plane if you guys need me.”

 

“I got it, okay? I'll call you later, yeah?”

 

Once Jackson had left Mark sat down next to his boyfriend and took one of his hands. “Why didn't you pick up your phone, Jinyoungie? We were very worried.”

 

“I'm sorry.” His voice was hoarse. He cleared his throat before he continued. He wanted to sound more okay than he actually felt. “I just...didn't want to go in yet. I needed some air.”

 

“Getting some air. That's all you were doing? You weren't thinking about going to see David, were you? Jackson told me about the conversation you had with him.”

 

Jinyoung didn't say anything. He looked up at Mark. He immediately looked away again, but it was long enough for Mark to see that something was wrong.

 

“Jinyoung...you didn't go over to him...right?”

 

Jinyoung pulled his hand away and buried his face in his hands.“I'm sorry. I just wanted to talk to him. I didn't want...I only wanted to talk to him, but...”

 

“But, what? Please tell me what happened.” He gently pulled Jinyoung's hands away from his face and held them in his own. “You can tell me.”

 

Jinyoung took a deep breath to calm himself down. “I went over there to talk to him. He was saying all these things about how he could expose us and how he wanted to break us up and...and I panicked. I didn't know what to do so I told him he could sleep with me if he wouldn't do any of that.”

 

Mark's first instinct was to yell at Jinyoung for being so stupid, but he didn't. Instead he stayed quiet, stroking the back of Jinyoung's hand with his thumbs.

 

“He started to kiss me and touch me and I completely froze for a moment. Every fiber of my being was yelling at me me how wrong it felt. I just couldn't do it. I wanted to fix it, but I just couldn't do it.”

 

“What happened next?” Mark asked, not sure he had heard the worst of it.

 

“I tried to push him away and make him stop. I told him I didn't want to. He wouldn't let go and told me it was too late to change my mind...”

 

Mark felt numb. “What happened next?”

 

“I...”

 

“Jinyoung, please tell me. Whatever happened wasn't your fault, okay. You can tell me. Please tell me.”

 

“I kicked him in the crotch and ran out of there.” Tears started to run down Jinyoung's face, he pulled his hands away again. They were shaking. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I wanted to fix it, but I just made everything worse.”

 

Mark wrapped his arms around Jinyoung's shaking shoulders and pulled him as close as he could. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry this happened Jinyoung. It's not your fault.”

 

Jinyoung wrapped his arms around Mark's waist and cried into his chest. “What are we going to do?”

 

“Shh, it's okay. We'll figure it out. Everything will be okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo....that didn't go great, but it definitely could have gone worse...I guess :(  
> I wrote this pretty fast, but I didn't want to keep you guys in the dark for too long.  
> Let me know how you felt about this chapter!
> 
> Also some self promotion: I started a new fic with magic and superpowers starring GOT7, BTS, Seventeen, and VIXX. It's called 'A Magical Mess' and I'm really looking forward to writing more. It's gonna get wild. I could use some input on it though, so let me know what you think~ (also on twitter @Cow_Llama)


	32. A talk with the boss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jinyoung decide to talk to Jaebum. Jaebum decides to talk to JYP.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, it took me WAY longer to update than I had planned to! I've just been so stuck! 
> 
> In other news, hurray for BB not having to join the army! (let's not think about how the Korean members will have to join eventually anyway)!.

 

After a night with little sleep Mark and Jinyoung got woken up, still on the couch in the living room, by Jaebum's voice asking them why they weren't sleeping in their own beds. Mark and Jinyoung exchanged looks. Jinyoung nodded and Mark turned to JB. “We need to talk.”

 

After telling Jaebum, and Youngjae who had come out of the bedroom right when Mark started talking, JB let out a long deep sigh. “Well, that was fucking dumb of you. Both of you.”

 

“Jaebum, don't make them feel worse than they already do!” Youngjae replied on their behalf.

 

“It's okay, Youngjae.” Jinyoung said with a small voice. “It was really dumb.”

 

“But...”

 

“Look,” JB continued, “I get it. Really I do. And I'm glad you guys are safe, because that really could have gone another way. But the fact is that this is a situation. One I'm not sure we can fix, at least not by ourselves. I think...I think we have to go to JYP with this.”

 

“And tell him what?” Mark asked, “That I punched a guy because he was being rude to me and my _boyfriend_.”

 

“We don't have to tell him the whole truth. We can just say the guy was being rude and you lost control of yourself and punched him.”

 

“What about the fact he has chat logs of conversations he's had with Mark? And the guy that kissed me?” Jinyoung added.

“And what if JYP can help us? Can prevent this guy from going to the press or the police for that matter? Or maybe he can come up with a counter story, damage control, for when he _does_ go to the press. I'll even go talk to him for you. I won't tell him all the details. He doesn't have to know about your relationship.”

 

“Don't you think me and Mark should go ourselves?”

 

“I think he'll definitely want to talk to you after, but I'll just tell him you're still a bit shaken up. I have a meeting with him later today anyway.”

 

In the end Mark and Jinyoung agreed to let Jaebum talk to JYP first. They were anxiously waiting with Youngjae at home when he came back. He did not look happy.

 

Everybody immediately stood up when he walked through the door. “H-how did it go?” Jinyoung asked. He knew JB and something wasn't good.

 

“Yeah, ehm, not so bad. I mean, he was pretty pissed I guess and he told me to tell you guys to expect a phone call from him later today. Nothing too bad I think, but he wants to talk in person. He also said he's going to send someone to talk to the guy and that he had ways of handling these type of things or whatever. Anyway, Youngjae can I talk to you, please.”

 

Youngjae exchanged confused looks with Mark and Jinyoung. “Wait, that's it? What exactly did you tell him? So we know for when we talk to him?” Mark asked, but Jaebum waved his hand as a way to disregard the question. “Just about the punching and how Jinyoung tried to talk to him and stuff, but guys, I really need to talk to Youngjae for a sec now.”

 

Youngjae, confused and slightly nervous now, followed Jaebum into one of the bedrooms.

 

“Jaebum? What's wrong. You're scaring me a little.”

 

Jaebum ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath before he raised his head to look his boyfriend in the eye. “I told him about our relationship.”

 

It took Youngjae a moment to register what he had just heard and he stood in silence, only blinking a few times. “You did what!? Why? I though you only went to him to talk about Mark and Jinyoung! How did _our_ relationship even come up!”

 

“I did! But after I talked to him about Mark and Jinyoung JYP made a comment about how he thought I was about to tell him something like...that they were in a relationship. I asked him if that would be such a bad thing and well we just talked and he asked me if there was anything I wanted to tell him and...I just...”

 

“And you just what? Told him? How can you just do that without talking to me about it first!”

 

“I'm sorry, but it just happened, okay. Besides, I thought you wanted people to know anyway.”

 

Youngjae scoffed, “Don't do that. You know I didn't mean _everybody_. Dammit, Jaebum, this is our career we're talking about!”

 

“He didn't react badly!”

 

“I didn't really think he would, it's JYP after all. But what if he had? What if he was the type of CEO who would say 'well, now you're fired. We can't risk working with a gay couple.' It would have been both of our careers!”

 

“So what? We can only tell people _you_ want to tell?” Jaebum said defensively.

 

“Of course not, that's not what I'm saying at all! I'm saying that you should have talked to me about it before telling him. This isn't the first time you've told people about us without me knowing about it.” Before Jaebum could respond Youngjae held up his hands as if to silence him. “I know this isn't the same situation as before, but I just don't see what good can come of this.”

 

Jaebum didn't say anything else. He sat down on the bed and dropped his head into his hands. The room was awfully quiet for a few moments until JB broke the silence with a shaky voice. “I-I'm sorry, Youngjae, really. I just...he asked...and...I didn't want to deny it...I'm so tired...my dad hates me, JYP said he supports us privately but he wasn't clear on how he stands about publicly supporting us if it were to come to that, and now you're mad at me because I'm an idiot who can't do anything right...”

 

Any anger Youngjae had felt immediately left his body and he sat down next to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, “Shhh, I'm not mad anymore, okay? I was just a bit blindsided by this. It'll be okay. It's not like we have to come out to the world. Only JYP knows now, right?”

 

Jaebum sniffed and nodded. He turned so he could also wrap himself around Youngjae. “Besides,” Youngjae said, “it's not like you punched a guy. Unlike some people we know.”

 

“That's not funny.”

 

“It's a little funny.”

 

“...okay it's a little funny.”

 

<>

 

Later that day their doorbell rang and Yugyeom, who opened the door, was surprised to find none other than JYP himself standing in the door opening. For a moment he thought this was some sort of prank show devised by the other members to make him cry on TV again, but JYP asked to see Mark and Jinyoung instead. They sat down at the kitchen table. Jinyoung cursing himself for wearing sweatpants and having messy hair. He felt like a hobo. “Sir, I just want to apologize and-”

 

“Jinyoung, I think it's best I talk first. I am incredibly disappointed in you two. Especially you Mark.”

 

Mark bowed his head even further down than it already was. “You should know better than to punch someone. In public even! No matter the reason, we cannot allow violence. I know that what Jaebum has told me is only part of the story and I know you wouldn't just punch someone. Were you drunk?”

 

Mark raised his head. “No, sir! I mean, I had a few drinks, but I definitely wasn't drunk! It was just that he...he was being rude.”

 

“Is that all it takes for you to punch someone? Don't you have any self-control? You're not a kid anymore, Mark.”

 

“I know, sir.”

 

“And Jinyoung,”

 

Jinyoung sat up even straighter than he already had been.

 

“When you kicked him it was in self-defense?”

 

Jinyoung hesitated for a moment, “Well...it was, but...I...”

 

“Listen, it doesn't matter what happened before that point. If he was getting physical with you in any way that you didn't want, you had the right to defend yourself. That doesn't mean it wasn't incredibly stupid of you to go to his house late at night by yourself. Even if your intention was just to talk to him.”

 

JYP stopped talking for a moment and looked at the two boys in front of him. He shook his head and sighed. “I'm glad you guys are okay. I'm having one of my lawyers talk to the guy. He's not innocent in this and a lot of this would be our word against his, so I think we can be convincing enough that by going to the press or police he wouldn't be doing himself any favors. Now, is there anything else I should know about this incident? As far as I know you went to a bar, you and this old acquaintance of yours got into an argument and you punched him. Jinyoung, trying to defuse the situation, went to his house later that night but the guy turned physical and Jinyoung kicked him in the crotch in self-defense. Yes?”

 

They both gave small nods. They had talked about it, but had decided not to tell JYP about them being romantically involved.

 

“Okay. You guys are on very thin ice right now, so if I hear you guys messing up in any way, even if it's only that you forget to recycle a plastic bag, there will be some serious consequences. Don't go out to have fun or meet with friends. You will go to work and practice. That's it. Do you understand?”

 

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

 

“Can you please tell Youngjae to come in here, please.”

 

<>

 

Youngjae sat down across the kitchen table from JYP. Not sure what to expect.

 

“Don't look so nervous Youngjae. You're not in trouble or anything. I just want to talk to you.”

 

Youngjae didn't say anything.

 

“Jaebum told me that you and him are in a relationship, is this true?”

 

Youngjae wasn't sure what to say so he only let out a very small “yes”.

 

“Youngjae, seriously, stop looking as if I'm about to fire you. It's no problem that you're gay, or bi, or whatever you are. I just wanted to check in and see if you're okay.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because, I got the impression Jaebum hadn't exactly planned to tell me about your relationship so I wasn't sure if you knew about him telling me.”

 

“I didn't...”

 

“I see. Are you mad that he did?”

 

“I...I was mad...I'm not now.”

 

“Okay, good. Do a lot of people know about you two?”

 

“Just some close friends. All the members know and...our parents.”

 

“All parents? Jaebum said he hadn't told his parents yet.”

 

“Ehm...”

 

“That's not my business anyway. It's just that Jaebum seemed somewhat relieved to have told me. Like he had been holding it in. Maybe telling his parents will be the same way.”

 

Youngjae didn't know what to say to that, so he decided to bend the conversation away from Jaebum's parents, “Well, my parents know and they're very supportive!”

 

Okay. Good. That's good. One more thing, I don't want you to feel like you can't be yourself, but, and I also told Jaebum this, unfortunately this is a sensitive issue and I don't advise you to go around telling everybody about it. This goes for any relationship an idol is in, so it's the same here. In a way it's easier for you guys I guess.”

 

“How so?”

 

“You're in the same group so it's not weird if you spend a lot of time together or if you're close. It only becomes problematic if you break up. Remember we have counselors working at our company if you ever need to talk with someone.”

 

Youngjae smiled at him. He felt a lot better about him knowing now. JYP got up from his seat. Youngjae walked him back to the living room where the rest of the group was sitting. They all got up to say goodbye. At the door JYP turned to look at them and with a very serious look on his face he said, “Mark, Jinyoung, you guys are grounded for now. I'll let you know when I know more about the situation. Youngjae and Jaebum, you guys be safe. Remember, just because no one can get pregnant, doesn't mean you don't need to use protection.” He left laughing, leaving both Jaebum and Youngjae with a horrified look on their face. Yugyeom looked around the room exchanging a confused look with BamBam, “What was that all about?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will it be enough just to talk to David? Some more stuff will happen with 2jae...
> 
> I might also include some Markjin smut the next chapter, raise hands if you want smut!
> 
> Also, any Starlights reading this? VIXX is killing me KILLING ME with their comeback photos and teasers and what not!!!


	33. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jinyoung spend the night together. Youngjae has something to tell Jaebum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *waves* Hi guys. I always mean to update faster, but well...  
> I'm also working on my new(ish) fic 'A Magical Mess' btw~

It took a few days, but eventually Mark and Jinyoung were told that JYP's lawyer had been quite effective in convincing David not to press any charges against them or go to the press. At night Jinyoung walked out of the shower, drying his hair with a towel. The stress from the last couple of days was somewhat starting to leave his body. He walked into his bedroom and found his boyfriend waiting for him on his bed. Mark looked up from his phone when Jinyoung closed the door.

 

“Are you sleeping in here tonight?”

 

Mark sat up and looked his boyfriend up and down, “Not planning to sleep that much.”

 

“Do you think it's really over? You don't think David will-”

 

“Jinyoung, I'm coming onto you. Why are you bringing up that jerk?”

 

“Aren't you still worried?”

 

“Look,” Mark got up and walked over to him, “the lawyer talked to him. He said he's going to let it go. Let's try to do the same. What's the point in worrying about it?”

 

“Sometimes I think you're too relaxed, you know.”

 

Mark brushed a strand of hair from Jinyoung's face. “And you worry too much sometimes.” He caressed his face. “Fuck, you're so sexy with wet hair.”

 

Jinyoung ignored Mark's compliment, “You really think it'll be okay?”

 

Mark looked him in the eye, “Yes. Besides. Everything will be okay as long as we're together. Right?”

 

Jinyoung shook his head and smiled, “Right.”

 

“There is one problem I'd like to address though.”

 

“What's that?”

 

“The amount of clothes you have on. I was hoping for a wrapped towel around the waste type look.”

 

He leaned in and gently kissed Jinyoung. It took Jinyoung a moment before he started kissing him back and it suddenly hit Mark that it had only been a few days since the whole David thing and he pulled back. “Are you okay? If you don't want to have sex tonight that's okay.”

 

“What happened to you having a problem with how many clothes I have on?”

 

“I just want to make sure you're okay.”

 

Jinyoung smiled and pressed their foreheads together. “I'm okay.”

 

Mark took Jinyoung by the hand and led him to the bed. He sat down, still holding his hands. He looked up and gently pulled Jinyoung down. Along with Jinyoung's movement, Mark lifted his hands and grabbed the sides of his boyfriend's face to pull him in for a kiss. Without breaking the kiss he lied down on his back, pulling Jinyoung on top of him. The kiss became more heated. Jinyoung kissed Mark's neck, his collarbones, the mole on his chest, every bit of Mark's skin he could possibly kiss he kissed. Mark tangled his fingers in Jinyoung's damp hair when he reached his thighs.

 

Jinyoung laid his head on Mark's leg and looked up at him, “Now, how come you're accusing me of wearing too much clothes when you're still wearing underwear _and_ sweatpants.”

 

“You're right. Very unfair of me. Feel free to correct the situation.”

 

Jinyoung, always in the mood to correct a mistake someone else made, pulled down Mark's clothes and threw them to the side. “Now,” he caressed Mark's thighs with one hand while bringing himself up again, “What do you want to do?”

 

“Whatever you want. You pick.”

 

“Hmm...” Jinyoung pretended to think for a moment, meanwhile making Mark bite his lip to suppress a moan as he teasingly brushed his hand against Mark's quickly growing erection. “In that case...” He wrapped his hand around him, “Your ass is mine tonight Tuan.”

 

He pressed their mouths together and licked Mark's lips. His tongue slid inside as soon as Mark parted them for him. Without breaking their kiss Jinyoung reached for the nightstand and opened the drawer. He didn't need to see what he was doing, he knew where the lube was. He coated a couple of his fingers and sat up so he could use his other hand to push apart Mark's legs. He bent back down to claim Mark's mouth again while he started to push a finger inside. And another one. One more. Mark was breathing heavily in Jinyoung's ear by the time he pulled his fingers out and positioned himself. Before he pushed inside he lifted Mark's legs over his shoulders so he could go deep. His pace was slow, but getting faster at a steady pace. He alternated gentle thrusts with the occasional rougher one. Jinyoung loved the way he could control the way Mark moaned by the way he moved. He closed his eyes to take in the sound better. To let it surround him.

 

Mark, on the other hand, peeled open his eyes to look at his lover. To appreciate all that he was. Jinyoung's dark hair was dangling in small strands in front of his eyes, his skin was starting to glow with a thin layer of sweat, his beautiful arms were decorated with veins and slightly flexed muscles. God how he loved those arms. Without realizing it Mark had stopped making sound. In response Jinyoung opened his eyes again to see what was going on. The sight of Mark looking at him like he was the only thing in the world immediately sent a blush to his cheeks.“W-why are you staring at me like that...it's embarrassing.”

 

Mark smiled lovingly, “You're so beautiful, I can't help it.”

 

“The sounds you were making earlier were beautiful.” Jinyoung replied with an embarrassed smirk, the blush hadn't left his cheeks. “You stopped, so maybe I need to try harder.”

 

“I only stopped because I was mesmerized by your beauty.”

 

“...You...you look like a fish, gaping at me like that.”

 

“You took my breath away, Jinyoungie”

 

Jinyoung stopped moved and stared at his boyfriend. “Why are you so lame sometimes?”

 

“Because you love it.”

 

Jinyoung smiled and bend over, Mark's legs dropping to the side, so he could kiss him, “Damn right I do.” He kissed him with vigor and started to move again, even more passionately than before. Mark wrapped his arms around Jinyoung's neck and started moaning his boyfriend's name over and over again. He inhaled sharply when he reached his climax and Jinyoung soon followed. He held himself up so he wouldn't crush Mark with his weight, but his arms started to shake. He quickly pulled out and rolled onto the bed next to a panting Mark. Mark rolled over and planted a kiss on Jinyoung's soft lips. He caressed his cheek with his thumb and smiled at him. “I love you so much.”

 

“You should. I'm pretty awesome.”

 

Mark slapped his chest and laughed. He placed his head on Jinyoung's chest and felt him wrap an arm around his shoulder. “I love you too.”

 

They almost fell asleep in each other's arms when Mark's phone vibrated. One new message. Unknown number. _I know you blocked my number. I think we should talk. The whole situation got out of hand. I regret how it all went down. Please talk to me._

 

“What's wrong?”

 

Mark showed Jinyoung the message. “I'm getting a new phone.”

 

“What if that upsets him? Maybe we should-”

 

“I swear, if you say _talk to him_ I'm going to lose it.”

 

Another message. _Please. I'm not going to the police or the press. I promise._ _I already told your boss this._ _So, can you talk to me? It doesn't have to be in person._

 

Mark send one message back. _Leave me alone. Don't contact me again._

 

He didn't hear from David again. At least not for a while.

 

<>

 

Youngjae looked at his boyfriend from across the room. He had meant to discuss it a lot sooner, but stuff kept happening. Or maybe he just looked for excuses to not tell him yet. But he really couldn't put it off any longer.

 

“Jaebum. Can I talk to you?” He walked over and sat down next to him on the couch. He fumbled with the sleeves of his shirt.

 

“Of course. Is something wrong? I'm not sure if I'm up for more drama after this whole Markjin and coming out to JYP stuff.”

 

“Nothing is wrong. Not really.”

 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

 

“I just have something to discuss with you. Well, tell you. And I'm not sure how you're going to react.”

 

“Okay...”

 

“Remember that I told you that my brother is moving to the city?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“He...he has an extra bedroom and he's asked me to move in with him.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I said yes.” Youngjae looked up, but it was hard to read Jaebum's emotions from his facial expression.

 

“You want to move out of the dorm? You don't want to live with us, me, anymore?”

 

“It's not that I want to move out per se. I just...I'm in my early twenties and I'm already living together with my serious boyfriend...I haven't really had the chance to be on my own, you know.”

 

“You mean like...single?”

 

“No, that's not what I mean. Of course not.”

 

“Is this because I told JYP about us? Are you angry with me?”

 

“No! I already decided this way before that. I just wasn't sure how to tell you...This is not something I want to do to punish you or something. It's something I want to do for me. It's not a decision I made lightly.”

 

“But you made it by yourself.”

 

“Because it's _my_ decision. I hope you can understand where I'm coming from. We'll live together again in the future! I just...want to experience being on my own, well, with my brother, before settling down like a married couple. Don't be mad, please...”

 

Jaebum took a breath. He didn't see this coming. It hurt and he didn't want to think about not living together with Youngjae. At the same time he couldn't deny him the chance to live together with his brother. It was his brother after all. Besides, he didn't own Youngjae. He was allowed to make his own decisions. Youngjae gently took his hands.

 

“And think about this, if I don't live with you guys you can get Nora back!”

 

“...and maybe get another cat? Or two...”

 

“Sure.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aghases, are you enjoying/dying because of GOT7 tour? Jinyoung and BamBam KINGS! :D
> 
> What did you think of this new chapter? How do you think Youngjae moving out will affect his relationship with Jaebum? :o


	34. Phone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum and Youngjae talk over the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses other than being without inspiration and time...Also...I saw GOT7 (well...I'm in Japan so...6)...I'm ded.
> 
> I'm sure my irregular updating has cost me some readers, so I want to say THANK YOU for all of you who are still sticking with me T__T

It had been two weeks since Youngjae had moved out. Jaebum was trying very hard not to be one of those overly clingy boyfriends, but he missed Youngjae. The first time they had gone their separate ways after their work was finished felt weird. Not seeing him every day and falling asleep away from each other felt weird, too. They messaged each other quite a bit when not actually together, but it wasn't the same. Despite this he had to admit it was nice having a cat in the house again (although right now Nora was grumpy and ignored JB when he called her over). Currently he was on the couch in the living room, flipping through TV channels without really registering what was happening on the screen. He was spacing out thinking about Youngjae when he felt someone sit down besides him. It was Mark, who had just gotten home.

 

“Where have you been? Did you go with Jinyoung to his other work or something?”

 

“Please. I'm not the type to follow his boyfriend everywhere he goes. I went to Youngjae's to see Coco.”

 

“Oh...”

 

Mark noticed the tone in Jaebum's voice. “What's wrong? Are you being pouty because I went over to Youngjae's or because he didn't ask you to come over too?”

 

“I...I'm not pouty! I just didn't know you were going there...whatever.”

 

“Jaebum?” Mark asked, suddenly more serious.

 

“Does it bother you that I was alone with Youngjae and you didn't know about it?”

 

“What? No. You guys spent time together alone when you shared a room and stuff.”

 

“I know, but now it's like...not at the dorm we all share but at his house.”

 

“Are you saying I _should_ be bothered by it, or what?”

 

“No! Not at all.”

 

“Then what are you talking about?”

 

“You just seem a bit upset.”

 

JB used the remote to turn off the TV and sighed. “I'm not... _upset_. I just miss him and I want to spend time with him. In the time he's moved out I've been there once and you've been there, what, three times already?”

 

“That's because I go over to see Coco mostly. Sometimes I don't even know if he'll be home so I just go in by myself. Today we happened to also play some games.”

 

“You know the door code!? That's just great. You can just come and go as you please and I'm just here all alone like some relic from the past that he doesn't even need anymore.”

 

“Aren't you being a bit dramatic? It's only been two weeks. Besides, if you want to go over there so much just ask him if you can come over. What's the big deal?”

 

“...Do you think he misses me?”

 

“Jaebum, what do you want to hear? That he's miserable, thinks he made a mistake, and wants to move back here? I'm sorry, but he seems to be having fun living with his brother. I'm sure he misses you, but not in the desperate kind of way that you seem to be missing him.

 

“Gee, thanks.”

 

“All I mean is that the whole reason he moved out in the first place is because he wanted to spend some time being on his own. It doesn't mean he wanted to spend time _away_ from _you_. I'm sure he'd love it if you come over some nights, but you have to give him some space, too.”

 

Jaebum nodded. He had been waiting for Youngjae to invite him over and he hadn't really considered suggesting coming over first. He knew he was the type to over-think these kinds of things and Mark was probably right. Youngjae wanted to spend more time on his own, not less with Jaebum. There was a difference.

 

“Oh by the way,” Mark interrupted JB's thoughts, “we were talking about a double date night. You and Youngjae, me and Jinyoung. We've never really hung out as, you know, couples?”

 

“You're not going to suggest swinging are you?”

 

Mark chuckled. “I think we've had enough weird moments between us four. But don't you think it might be nice? Not that many people know about us four being in relationships. Me and Youngjae thought it would be nice if we go out and just be two couples.”

 

“Yeah, okay sure.”

 

“Great!” Mark got up from the couch. “Jinyoung just sent me a message asking if I want to meet up for a late dinner, so let's talk about it later!”

 

With that, Mark left and JB got up to lay down on his bed. He was just about to check out some funny cat videos when an incoming call from his boyfriend popped up on the screen.

 

“What? No video?” The lack of video contact might be in favor of JB so Youngjae couldn't see the embarrassingly big smile that immediately formed on his face when he answered.

 

“It's dark. You won't be able to see me anyway.” Youngjae chuckled.

 

“There is such a thing as lamps, you know.”

 

“Yeah, I know, but I just wanted to focus on your voice without getting distracted by your beauty.”

 

Jaebum wanted to roll his eyes at the cheesy line but chuckled instead. “Did you have fun with Mark today?”

 

“Oh he told you he came over? Yeah, we had fun I guess. Did he tell you about the double date idea?”

 

“Yeah, he did. Let's do that.”

 

“Really?” Jaebum could almost see Youngjae's happy face just by the sound of his voice. “Yay! It's going to be fun. Talking about it made me miss you.”

 

“You miss me?”

 

“Of course I do. Don't you miss me?”

 

“I do. A lot actually.”

 

Youngjae hummed as if he was thinking about something before he asked, “What are you wearing?”

 

“Same thing as I was wearing when we left today, why?” JB asked, surprised by the seemingly sudden change in topic.

 

“What kind of underwear are you wearing?”

 

“Not sure. Just boxers I think. Why are you so interested in my outfit? If you wanted to know so bad you should have just video called me.”

 

“Honestly I'm more interested in what's underneath your outfit.”

 

“What?”

 

“Babe...do you know about a thing called phone sex?”

 

“Well sure, like where you can call a number and pick any type of- oh. Okay, ehm” he cleared his throat, “So...what are _you_ wearing?” Jaebum had absolutely no experience with verbal-only sex and wasn't sure what to say, but he liked the answer he got nonetheless.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“I see...” The thought of Youngjae in his bed without any clothes on was enough to get Jaebum hot, but he wasn't sure what to actually say next. Youngjae noticed that his boyfriend had no idea how to phone sex, so he decided to get them started.

 

“What would you do to me if you were here right now? Just tell me as if you were here.”

 

Jaebum closed his eyes and pictured Youngjae lying on his bed, his skin exposed to the warm night air.

 

“I would...I would kiss your neck and caress your chest, moving my hand lower and lower. Slowly.”

 

“I stop your hand with my own and guide it to my half-open mouth. I lick my lips before I suck one of your fingers into my mouth. My mouth is warm and wet. I suck in one more finger. My lips are tightly wrapped around them and my tongue is wetting every inch. Do you like how I'm sucking your fingers, Jaebum?”

 

Jaebum swallowed away the saliva that had started to fill his mouth and nodded. He added a soft _yes_ once he realized his boyfriend couldn't actually see him.

 

“I release your wet fingers and give them one last whirl with my tongue before I direct your hand to my ass. What do you do?”

 

“I eh, I circle your entrance with the fingers you sucked. I push in the first one.”

 

Youngjae moaned. “It feels great, but I need more. Please, give me more, Jaebum.”

 

“I enter you with two more fingers at the same time. It's a little tight, but you're a good boy who can take it. Aren't you, Choi Youngjae?”

 

“Yes. Yes, I can take it if it's for you. It feels so good. I can't wait anymore. I sit up and push you down on the mattress. I lean down to give you a filthy, tongue-filled wet kiss.”

 

Jaebum could hear Youngjae's breath and the sounds of his lips parting. He could imagine Youngjae on top of him, he could even almost feel his delicious tongue inside his mouth.

 

“I straddle you with my thighs and slowly start to sink down, letting you fill me up as I get closer to you.”

 

Jaebum moaned at his boyfriend's words. Never would he have thought words alone could do this to him.

 

“I thrust my hips upward simultaneously with your movements so I can go even deeper and harder.” Jaebum added. By now he had wrapped his hand around himself and was jerking to the pace he was imagining Youngjae was riding him with. “I wrap my fingers around your erection.”

 

“Please make me come, Jaebum. You feel so good.”

 

Urged on by Youngjae's heavy breathing and soft moans Jaebum continued, “My fingers are wrapped firmly around you and I jerk you off, faster and faster while my dick is filling you up over and over again.”

 

“I try to keep up with your pace, but it's getting harder to control my movements as I feel my orgasm getting closer. I lean over so I can join our tongues together. I'm licking yours with mine. I'm so close...I...” Youngjae didn't say another words and it was only their mutual erratic breathing and moaning that was exchanged over the phone. It was Youngjae's deep, long, moan that finally sent JB over the edge as well. He heard Youngjae's satisfied sigh and smiled at the sound.

 

“Well...” he broke the silence with a soft voice, “that was new.”

 

“Yeah...I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did because for me...that was pretty great. I mean, normally the thought of you fucking me alone is enough to make me go crazy, but having you say it out loud is just...very hot.”

 

“I enjoyed it too, I'm just not sure if I was any good at it...”

 

“You were great. Maybe tomorrow you can come over so we can re-enact it.”

 

“I'd like that.”

 

<>

 

In the next few weeks Jaebum got more used to the new living situation and in some ways he started to understand exactly why Youngjae had wanted to move out. Since they lived together before their relationship had even started they missed about a hundred steps a new blossoming relationship might go through. Sometimes a little distance and having the space to actually miss each other was good.

 

It was also finally time for the 2jae-Markjin double date. At first they had considered going to an amusement park, but thinking about the amount of people there made them go for a dinner-date instead. They still had to make sure it didn't look too much like a date in case of any paparazzi, but at least all the people at the table knew that it, in fact, was a date. It probably wasn't the first time all four of them had hung out together since they'd become couples, but labeling it as a date had given the night a slightly different vibe. Jinyoung had picked a restaurant that was just a little more elegant, the topics they talked about were just a little different, and the general feeling of the night was _date._ Not just four friends having dinner together, but two couples. The food was good and the drinks plentiful.

 

They had come in one car and they were supposed to drop Youngjae off at his place first with the other three going back to the dorm. When they arrived, however, Jaebum was clinging to Youngjae, his arms wrapped around his shoulders and planting loving kisses on his neck and cheeks. Mark and Jinyoung followed the couple out of the car to see if they should drag Jaebum back to the car or just let Youngjae deal with his half-drunken boyfriend.

 

“Guys, please remember we're still in public. I know it's late and there don't seem to be any other people around, but Jaebum please control yourself a little.” Jinyoung said with a shake of his head.

 

“But he's so cute!” Jaebum whined, rubbing his cheek against Youngjae's hair.

 

“Yes, yes, he's very cute.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes. He'd had a good night, but now he was tired and he wanted to just go home and cuddle in bed with Mark.

 

Jaebum let go of his boyfriend, grabbed his shoulders and turned him around so they were face to face. “The cutest.” he declared before leaning in to plant a kiss right on Youngjae's lips.

 

Mark lightly smacked his back, “Come on, man.”

 

Youngjae chuckled and took hold of Jaebum's hand, “Guys, I think he's sleeping here tonight. You can go home now.”

 

With that Youngjae led Jaebum inside his building, waving goodbye to the other couple as they got back into the car. Waiting for the elevator Jaebum kissed him again. This time Youngjae kissed him back with more passion. There was no-one else around anyway. It was fine.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will not be fine :D >.>


	35. Mail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum wakes up with a hangover, but luckily he has Youngjae to take care of him.  
> Mark gets some mail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello *waves from distant past*

The next morning Jaebum woke up and he groaned once he was awake enough to become aware of the massive headache he had. He reached out to wrap his arms around his warm boyfriend only to find that he wasn't actually in the bed next to him. He groaned some more and slowly sat up. A decision he immediately regretted. He looked around the dimly lit room. His clothes from last night were still scattered all over Youngjae's floor. The nightstand caught his eye. There was a glass of water and an aspirin on it. As he was gobbling down the water he was startled by a voice coming from the door opening.

 

“I see you're finally awake.”

 

Jaebum groaned again, “I kinda wish I wasn't to be honest. My head is killing me. Please come in bed with me to make me feel better.” He motioned for his boyfriend to join him, but the other one only raised an eyebrow.

 

“I don't think so. Staying in bed all day isn't going to make you feel better. Besides, you don't smell too great right now. But...” Youngjae moved closer to the bed and held out his hand, “I can help you take a shower.”

 

Youngjae led his smelly man to the bathroom and told him to get under the shower. He took off his clothes and joined him. He opened a bottle of shower-gel (actually it was mousse, lavender) and started to soap up JB's torso. “Is the aspirin starting to work?”

 

“A little I guess.”

 

“If you want, I know of something else that can help with headaches.”

 

“Oh yeah? What's that.”

 

“Orgasms.”

 

Despite the fact his body still felt like shit a smirk formed on Jaebum's face, “If you think it'll help. I'm certainly willing to try.”

 

Youngjae smirked too and gave him a quick affirmative nod of the head before sinking down on his knees. Considering JB's hangover Youngjae figured he wouldn't be that much in the mood for teasing and foreplay so he decided to skip most of that. He didn't do it a lot (because, honestly, it was a weird feeling to have a limb dick in your mouth), but he lifted JB's soft penis with his hand and wrapped his mouth around it. He sucked on it, feeling it getting harder and bigger with each motion he made.

 

The combination of the warm water, the soothing smell of lavender, and his erection being treated by a mouth with incredible skill made JB forget his hangover. At least until he got pulled over the edge of orgasm by Youngjae deep throating him. Youngjae moaned along with him as he came and, as per usual, swallowed every last drop of his boyfriend's cum.

 

Youngjae got back up and smiled at Jaebum, “Did it help?”

 

“Well...before I had trouble standing because of the hangover, but now I have trouble standing because of other reasons. So, yeah, it kinda helped. Thanks.” He placed his hand on the back of Youngjae's neck and tried to lean in for a kiss, but was stopped by a few fingers on his mouth. “Honey, I don't mind sucking your dick, but you need to brush your teeth before you can kiss me.”

 

<>

 

Mark woke up against Jinyoung's side, one of Jinyoung's arms around his shoulders. He looked up and saw him reading a book. Mark loved it when he was wearing his glasses. Jinyoung noticed he was being stared at from below and smiled at his boyfriend. “Good morning.”

 

“Morning. How do you flip the pages with only one hand? Seeing as you have the other one wrapped around me.”

 

Jinyoung chuckled, “With difficulty.”

 

Mark sat up and gave him a kiss. And another one. Jinyoung closed his book and put it on the nightstand so he had more hands available to pull Mark closer and mess up his already messy hair.

 

“Hey...” Mark said in between kisses, “I don't think anyone will be home for a while. Wanna do it in the living room?”

 

At this Jinyoung pulled back and looked at Mark with a face that seemed conflicted about doing it in a space they all used and the fact that the idea of doing it in a space they all used kind of turned him on.

 

“You know, I'm pretty sure Youngjae and Jaebum have done it there.” Jinyoung said with a scrunched up face.

 

“Yeah well, they've done it in lots of places. That doesn't mean they have exclusive rights or anything. Come on!” He grabbed Jinyoung's hand and pulled him up. He started to move to the door when he remembered something. He quickly turned around to get what they needed from the nightstand before heading for the living room.

 

“Couch or floor?”

 

Jinyoung smirked, “What about table?”

 

“Table, really? You sure it's sturdy enough?”

 

“Are you calling me fat?”

 

“Not at all, I'm just saying there will be, you know, movement.”

 

“Don't worry, I won't actually get _on_ the table. I'll just lean over onto it.”

 

And so, a little bit later Mark was squeezing Jinyoung's round ass with both hands as he was pounding him with vigor. “God I love your ass. It's so round and squeezable and it looks so damn good with my red fingerprints all over.”

 

“It's all yours baby, you can squeeze it all you want.”

 

Jinyoung let out a gasp of surprised pleasure when Mark slapped his ass instead of squeezing it.

 

“Oh shit, do that again.”

 

So he did. Mark was surprised at himself for enjoying it so much. He knew Jinyoung had a thing for spanking (or at least watching others getting spanked), but he had to say he was very much enjoying it too. Although the biggest turn on for him were the sounds it elicited from Jinyoung. The only downside was he had to slow his pace somewhat in order to spank him. So when he felt Jinyoung's ass was red enough he placed his hands on his hips instead, holding on tightly so he could go hard and fast enough for both of them to reach the end of the road.

 

The rest of the day they each did their own thing. Jinyoung finished his book and Mark mostly played games and checked things on his phone until Jaebum came home late in the afternoon.

 

“Here I got the mail.” He said as he handed a big brown envelope to Mark who was sitting on the couch. Mark took it from him. Weird. He hardly ever got any mail he wasn't expecting.

 

“Thanks. How are you? You were pretty wasted last night.”

 

“I'm all right. Youngjae took good care of me. Sorry if I was annoying or anything last night.”

 

“Nah, it's okay. It was fun.”

 

Jaebum nodded and went to the kitchen to get something to drink. Mark turned his attention to the envelope in his hand. There was no sender written on it. He opened it and pulled out a stack of papers.

It looked like a magazine article or something. Mark's eyes widened going over what was written. _Taboo member love. What they don't show on stage. GAY7 exposed!_ His eyes darted over the pictures that accompanied the text. Jaebum and Youngjae holding hands. Jaebum and Youngjae laughing at a small cafe together. Jaebum and Youngjae kissing inside the lobby of Youngjae's building. Mark didn't even notice when someone sat down next to him.

 

“What's up with you? You look like you've seen a ghost.”

 

Mark handed the papers along with the envelope to Jinyoung without saying a word. As he did so another piece of paper fell out.

 

_Mark._ _This article might come as a surprise. It sure wasn't my intent to expose two of your members when I was looking to expose you and that boyfriend of yours. I wanted to hurt you, ruin you. I can't really explain why. You didn't really do anything. And yet I started to hate you more and more. But as it turns out you and Jinyoung are far too cautious about your relationship_ _nowadays_ _. The only action happens in front of the cameras or on stage. Or behind closed doors I imagine. Your friends, however, have started to become less and less cautious about hiding their relationship._ _The pictures I got last night was the final piece I needed for this article. Don't bother trying to put a stop to it. The magazine already has it and it's being printed as I'm writing this._ _I figured if I hurt_ _your fellow members_ _I'll still be able to hurt you too. Putting my thoughts on paper like this makes me sounds kind of crazy. Ah well. Give my love to Jinyoung._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear. Smut and drama. Is a magazine article like that enough to turn into a real big problem?
> 
> So...I have a bit of an announcement I guess: the next chapter will most likely be the last one, followed by an epilogue. I've started this fic a long time ago and I know my updates have been far from regular. I want to thank everyone who has read/commented/likes this fic!! I would not have been able to keep going for so long if it wasn't for all you lovely readers out there! It's not over yet, but I want to say thanks in advance! <3 


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